So Merle & Skya got the dirty/naughty on while Skya was in full migraine nausea mode. She was a lot nicer than I would have been. I don't think the characters in TWD get laid enough and it's usually only Glaggie; or the psychopaths and those with bad taste in men. I always thought sex makes you relaxed and nicer? Merle is almost functioning again but his prosthetic won't fit because of the swelling and the fact that he has been neglecting it since he was injured. He makes assumptions about her & Skya HATES assumptions. In her way she is equally broken as Merle but it's invisible. Please read and review. It's been a long time since any of my readers reviewed. BOO Hoo L. I'm glad you're reading, but I really need the warm fuzzies (even if it's one word) and some constructive criticisms. I do understand I have a quirky view of what's interesting. I plan a general tweaking/condensing of the whole story once the weather gets cold. For now life is busy and kids drag me through a whirlwind of sports practices. ENJOY peeps because I love channeling Merle. JLefty
SKYA POV
The light hits me and I gradually wake up, the first thing I notice is my stiffness. It looks like I slept on the floor last night. Brain damage sucks. I have an old head injury and it causes migraines when I get too tired. I had a horrible migraine yesterday and behaved damn near like I had a hangover, vomiting here there and everywhere. I'm mortified that I screwed around with Merle and nearly had Liam see me mutually masturbating with him. He is a confirmed horndog and I needed some touch therapy after all the misery of the last year and being in such close contact with him for most of the last month. He is badly damaged, but still sexy in a rough around the edges way, with a surprising depth and intelligence. Mortified as I am, in the moment he was wonderful and exactly what I needed, gross as I was, I'm amazed he tolerated my complete lack of hygiene. My first business of the day is to get a shower & feel somewhat cleaner. I look and smell like a baby dragon crawled into my mouth while I was sleeping and used my mouth as his potty chair then used my hair as his toilet paper. I REEK!
My hair stands up on its own and for hair as long as mine that's quite a feat; I look at the kids who are still sleeping in the early morning light. If I hurry I can get a shower and get back. I plan to look for a cell, later today its time I get us integrated in the prison population and find a place far enough away to have some privacy . Merle is curled up in a ball lightly snoring. He had a big day yesterday and he must be exhausted.
I take a moment to consider him while I try to brush the dried vomit out of my hair. My headache is gone and that is a good thing due to how miserable I treat all people who have any dealings with me when I'm like that. The biggest problem is that I have only vague memories of what I do in that condition. I'm getting through the snarls but it's gonna look like an animal had a shedding party. Merle is lying on his broken side which is an indication of how much he has improved since I arrived. Early on he could never rest in his favorite position; since he prefers to curl up on his right side, probably due to his lack of a right hand. In the morning light he shows the hard wear on his pale skin, but the usual hard planes are smoothed and I can see why "the ladies" prefer Ol' Merle as he likes to call himself. He's a misanthropic asshole. He also is surprisingly loyal, well read, and introspective. His biggest flaw is not that he is a huge jerk, but that he never benefits from his own skills, due to sabotaging chances that will surely benefit him.
I write him a note letting him know I went to the shower to divest myself of the aura of last night's vomit (never a good scent but stale vomit does not like fine wine improve with age). Hopefully he and the kids will be asleep when I get back. I walk down the hallway to the showers although cold I look forward to the clean feeling with the exuberance that comes the day after the misery of a migraine. Although I'm weak from how sick I was I feel full of over the top energy. I chuckle to myself remembering how my coworkers in the nursing home had a hard time handling my excessive personality on those days. The water taps out a rhythm on my stinky hair and skin, percussing the energy into my system and ensuring that I will be handful today. It's a good day to begin building rapport with others in the cell block. I sit in the showers combing through my hair relishing the fresh smells emanating from my hair. Watching goosebumps raising on my skin feeling the air kiss me all over.
Merle although much kinder than people give him credit for is still deeply damaged and may not be capable of a loyal relationship based on either friendship or sex. I can't use him for sex just because I'm still in my prime and have had no reasonable offers since John died. I'm not going to jump into anything just because I have impulsive tendencies. I must consider that I have two kids that count on me. Hopefully Merle will live up to his reputation of not caring beyond a one night stand, however pleasant he is in bed there is more to consider beyond that he draws me in.
"You're not twenty years old dammit your 45 you have a brain godammit use it."
The dripping shower just laughs at me and calls me a slut (true I know. I have to say that Im highly sexed and proud of it). However I'm equally proud of my brain (even damaged that it is), intelligent and bursting with sarcasm and restless energy. I'm not going to sell myself short just because the world as we know it is gone and is never coming back. I owe those kids more; they are my sun and my moon, my world rises and sets with them and around them.
I come back into the infirmary and my kiddos are sitting there watching Merle sleep. They have drawn whiskers on his face and a smiley face on his forehead. He is going to lose his shit when he sees himself.
It's time that I distance myself from him. I don't think he can be dependable enough for me to try to bond with. My horniness with him scares me. I like him but I don't want to. I want him in bed but I can't go there for the sake of my kids. I can't alienate the others I've not given them a chance yet. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. Merle needs to find out for himself that he needs other people but he can't be forced to that conclusion. I still mean for him to teach me some survival skills though.
"Merle, wake up. Its morning."
He wakes up and bumps himself in the face with his right hand stump, snorts at it and shakes his head. (dust motes dance around his heads like fairies teasing a cat)
"Yep every damn morning I hit myself in the nose with my stump. Once a righty always a righty. Even if ya cut the damn thing off yourself. Yer looking pleased with yerself, Juicy, ya smell better than puke at least"
"Thank you for such a kind and thoughtful compliment Merle. Your romantic suaveness astounds me. But dammit stop calling me that name. He snorts, his eyes laughing
The kids are laughing, pointing at him
"What's so funny?'
"The kids drew on you Merle while I was washing the vomit off. I almost felt sorry but now Im thinking it was premature karma. Believe me they will be punished today and you get to decide how they make this up to you. Just no feeding them to anything."
"Damn it gimme a mirror. "
"I wish we had a mirror but we don't. you have cat whiskers and a smiley face. But they will come off in the sink. In fact I wish we had a regular shower with hot water and a real bathroom (sigh)."
"He looked at me with sarcastic humor sparkling in his eyes".
"Shit girl if wishes were farts this place would be a fuckin' chili buffet. If Aladdin hisself offered me one I'd run the other way. All we got here are bad wishes come ta life. Damn girl I WISH I had two hands to feel your tits with but I ain't likely to sprout new fingers any fuckin day soon. (Chuckles sourly)"
I feel my face coloring up at the misogynistic slurs. (IN. FRONT. Of. MY. KIDS.) I turn away with my arms crossed as if Im going to walk away. I take one step to disguise my intent and whirl around putting my weight into slapping the living shit out of his face. However I forget his expertise in martial arts and he catches my hand in his pressing me against his chest with his stump.
"Careful girlie he drawls, yer dealing with a marine here. I could se ya comin' a mile away; ya gotta hide yer intent better. Yer face gave ya away too with ya coloring up like a damn tomato. That one's free. Next time. I'm gonna make yah pay. Maybe get another feel of those wonderful Juicy tits I like so well. Hum. That could be intrestin. What ya doing acting that way in front of yer kids anyway. Dontcha know better n that?
"Damn Merle you make me so angry. You were talking adult talk where my kids could hear you idiot! You're such an asshat. You can insult me and expect me to want to cop a feel of that weather beaten old carcass of yours. Dream on. I don't put out to people who disrespect me".
He bends down and kisses me on the cheek feeling my breasts with his stump pressed against them and whispers so my kids don't hear, they are giggling
(Sotto voce) "Hah. Yer a wildcat in the sack anyone will come out of it bleeding but wanting more. Ya acted like yer in heat, like a damn pampered housecat bored with her groomed tom looking for an alley cat that knows how to handle her claws. Now admit it ya like pain jus a little and ya like it dirty a whole lot. Ya don't get to hit me jus cause ya don like the truth said plain like. Ya forget girl I know you. My body knows you. All that time you touchin me, the nights you curled up wit' ole Merle cause you fell asleep watchin me."
(he lets me go with a smirk and knowing flick of his tongue against his lips, filthy-minded-redneck)
(I yell into his face) "Are you crazy Merle just because I can talk to you without exhibiting homicidal tendencies doesn't mean I want to you to hump me like a lackwit dog. Sure Im impulsive well obviously. I had fun Im glad you did too. Im not doing this, or DOING you as the case may be. Just because our world ended doesn't mean I will allow you to objectify me and get away with it. No freaking way". (I'm pacing with angry energy to the amused and surprised faces of my kids, still unsure to be afraid, watching my reaction).
"Get out of my way I have things to do"
"Like what"
"Find a cell for me n the kids"
"Oh yeah"
"Yeah" (nose to nose like two 10 year olds grinning at our ridiculous behavior)
"And then what. You go back to everything used to be. You fly back north on the back of a fucking unicorn. Your life is just waiting there right. Look around princess. The world ended NONE of us are who we were, you included. Neither are your kids".
Mya sings "I get to ride a unicorn I get to ride a unicorn"
"What could you possibly know about kids Merle? You never had any, right. Your brother tells me you were too busy flitting around like you were part of the wind never dependable."
"No. You of all people don't get to judge my past. YOU didn't have to raise your kid brother. You didn't come home from school at 8 years old and find your starving baby brother sitting in his crib covered in shit alone in the house when your parents were passed out god knows fucking where."
"Merle what's the problem you're better now. It's time for me and the kids to start getting to know the other people here. I know Beth a little and Hershel a little but you most of all. You're acting like I shouldn't get to know them. Isn't it time for you to do your thing too. You did great yesterday, diddn't you?"
"I just don't trust them at all. Darling I know it's hard ta believe; but I don't like people very much. It's hard to be around people other n' kin. I can tolerate you and yer kids a little cause I didn't get no choice and ya kinda grew on me. Sometime I tell my own damn self to shut up cause Im getting on ma nerves. Huh".
"It's time I help them out too, continue my training with Hershel. I could use your help though. Teach me and the kids survival skills."
"Ya think I need ya that's it, think I'm too crippled to survive; is that it darling? Fuck me; ya might be right, but I don't need to hear it from some broad who thinks she's smarter than ol' Merle. I always been my best on ma own."
"Merle what's the deal. You were doing your own thing yesterday. It's time to rebuild our lives don't you understand. I have two kids that depend on me. I can't distance myself from people I have to get them to want me there for the good of my kids. I can't do it on my own any more. You should see that too."
"You go on girl. Make friends with those pussies, if that's what pleases you. I'm gonna stay away. They screwed me over too many times, cause of them I got crippled. You just watch yer back, girl. You know, officer friendly, he's unbalanced; more of a psycho than even ol' Merle is here. He'll go behind yer back. Leave you for the dead to eat. That's yer officer friendly".
"Merle?"
"What girl. You had a taste of Merle you can't give him up so easy. You liked it you know you did. I made you come. You want more n' the taste you just don't wanna admit that. You willin to take care of ol' Merle when I'm asleep or weak. But now that I'm getting back to myself ya don' wanna git yer hands dirty, is that it? I know you are now. Nothin changed has it."
"What are you talking about Merle?"
"Back in the day if you went out with yer friends you would a seen me in the bar with my biker shit on. Drinking or dancing with a bitch you would have looked anywhere but in my eyes. You wouldn't have danced with me even for fun. You would have never taken me home even if you weren't married."
"Your romantic terminology is overwhelming no wonder you were single –"
"I'm not done you need to listen (now he paces)- If you saw me on the street in town you would have been like all the other married bitches with kids. You would have looked at me, seen my twisted nose, my uneven jaw. My biker leathers. You would have crossed the street, avoided me, assumed I was gonna eat yer kids. Not given me the fuckin time of day. Just because what you assume. That's who you are; I just didn't see it before. Fuck me sideways"
Mya singsongs "Merle has a potty mouth, Merle has a potty mouth & mommy too"
"You son of a bitch. Is that what you think really? Who are you to judge me? You don't know me. You don't know anything about me before. Yes I had a good life. But no if you had talked to me I would have looked at you. If you had smiled at my kids and asked their ages I would have answered. You fucking DARE to make assumptions of me. You barely know me. I worked in the inner city damn you. I worked as a therapist sure, yes I worked with old people. I worked with people detoxifying too. I worked with mentally Ill too. "
"Juicy-" "Fuck you Merle now you listen and shut the hell up. I am not the pampered princess you assume I am. I lived in the south Bronx. I took the subway. I got shot in central park and fell on concrete. I was brain damaged in that fall. I will never hear normally again. You think I haven't had it rough. Are you shitting me? Do you know who saved me? A motorcycle club guy who happened to be a medic in Vietnam. Looked horrifying to most people but he was nice enough to save my life. You didn't know that did you. You never asked did you."
"Juicy-"(I grab his shoulders hard, pulling him close, nose to nose and make him stop and listen, tears coming down my face, the sun dusting his features, the kids sitting in his cot listening in shocked silence, never having heard what exactly happened when I was shot so long ago, in a completely unlucky event; wrong place and time, NYC 1990)
"Nope not done not by a long stretch. Why do you think I get headaches like I do? Because of my head injury. I can't hear a sound out of my left ear. My eardrum was destroyed, my jaw was broken, left parietal lobe was damaged. It changed me and I was young, I never had the chance to be normal. The gunshot destroyed my right kidney and lower ribs. That's why have scars on my hip and lower back. The worst part is what you can't see. I have poor balance; I get horrendous migraines and I'm out of my head when I have them. I act like a bitch and I'm mean to my kids, my friends. I hate how I must have treated you and Mya yesterday".
"Skya I didn't know OK. I'm an asshole. I'm the first to admit that. Shit why didn't you tell me."
"I hate talking about it. Merle I want my kids to survive. They haven't had a chance to live yet. I need you to teach us survival skills. I want to learn how to fight, use a gun. Live off of the land. I feel that we don't have much time until that psycho returns. The others are scared but they aren't planning what to do when he comes back".
"Girl you're the only one talkin' sence. You help me get this swelling down in my arm and restrengthen so I can wear Lil' Merle again. I'll show ya how ta fight. I'll get my brother to help."
"Who is little Merle and where is he".
"Ha! No one told ya? That I call my cuff and blade little Merle. My arm got too swollen I need to keep it wrapped so I can fit it or resize it. It's time that I stop being such a goddamn pussy and I'm much more capable with my cuff. I'll take it easy trust me (he rolls his eyes and snorts at his own sarcasm).