He was sleeping. The bright blue eyes were closed, golden hair falling about the scarred face, breathing deep and even. Murrue stood in the open sickbay doorway, just watching the prisoner as he slept. His chest rose and fell with his breaths, his face was peaceful in slumber...it was just as she remembered. Or was it?
I was so sure..when he woke up here, that he was my Mwu. That somehow..he'd come back to me, perhaps by a miracle.
But I should have known better. There's no such thing as miracles, or fairytales. Whoever this man is...he can't be Mwu. Even though he's identical in every way...
She sighed. That's what I don't understand. If he isn't Mwu, then why is his DNA exactly the same? And if that means he is Mwu...why doesn't he know us? Know me?
This was getting her nowhere. This wouldn't help, staring at him as though trying to will him to remember her, will him to be the one she still loved so much. She had to leave, escape the torturous cycle of thoughts. Turning to go, toleave the darkened sickbay, Murrue was startled by his voice. That voice...the one that was so familiar, yet not.
"So, you're here again.."
Murrue looked away. The light from the corridor reflected off those blue eyes, and the gaze was so intense..she couldn't look at him.
"You're always here at this time. Am I so interesting? Or do you just hope that I'll suddenly have become who you want me to be?"
"It-it's not that.." Murrue stuttered, still not able to meet his gaze. "I-I have to check up on you.."
"Ah, I see." He was smiling, but there was no warmth in that smile, only sarcasm. "It's because I'm a prisoner, right?"
Murrue couldn't answer. You're not supposed to be a prisoner! Even though you're not Mwu...I can't bring myself to have you locked up...
"Well, don't worry." he chuckled, showing her his bound wrists. "I'm not going anywhere."
Murrue shook her head, took a deep breath, and met his eyes with her own amber ones. "Very well. Now I've checked up on you, I'll leave."
I won't let you see my sadness. I won't let anyone see it.
As she spun around to leave, he called out to her. "Hey, wait a moment!"
Neo blinked. He had no idea why he'd just called out to this woman, why he suddenly wanted her to stay with him. She looked as shocked as he felt, dim light making her large dark eyes shine.
It would be easier to be an uncooperative prisoner if you weren't so beautiful...
The woman..this ship's captain..looked unsure for a moment, then moved back into the room. "What is it?"
Neo sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "Could you..stay for a while? It's so boring here with no-one to talk to."
The captain looked bemused. "But it's the middle of the night. And there's Kira-kun to talk with.."
Neo huffed. "That kid..I don't wanna talk to him. He makes me feel uncomfortable. He's so convinced I'm that other guy, he even calls me by his name. It gives me the creeps."
The corners of the captain's lips quirked in a smile. "It's okay.." she said softly. "Kira-kun looked up to Mwu like an older brother. And I guess he wanted to repay him for everything he did."
Neo looked across at where the boy slept, understanding slightly. "I see. Still...I don't like being called by someone else's name.."
He glanced back up at the captain, noticing that she never met his gaze for more than a moment, and that she kept fiddling with the ends of her long auburn hair, as though she were nervous.
"What's wrong?" he asked, inwardly noting that he wasn't acting much like a prisoner now...
She didn't answer him, twisting her hands together in her lap. Neo sighed again. "You're the same, aren't you?"
That got her attention. "Same what?"
"The same as everyone else on this ship. All those people who come and gawk at me like I'm a museum exhibit. They all whisper to each other about how much I look like this 'Mwu', and how I must be him. But I'm not! I'm me, my name is Neo, not 'Mwu'. Why can't anyone accept that?" he almost shouted in frustration.
"I have.." the captain replied quietly. Neo was taken aback by the finality of her words, and by how desperately unhappy those words sounded.
"I won't deny that the first time I saw you, I thought you were Mwu. You look and sound so much like him, it was impossible not to hope...But now I know that you aren't him, no matter how much I wanted you to be..no matter how much I want to see him again.."
Her soft voice faltered, and tears began to stream down her cheeks. Neo gasped, as much at the way his heart had constricted at seeing her cry, as at the tears themselves. Collecting himself, he spoke again.
"When I asked before..asked what he was to you, all you said was that he was a 'war comrade'. But he was much more than that to you, wasn't he? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out how close you and this 'Mwu' must have been..."
All she could do was nod, the tears still falling.
Neo didn't know what to do next. He hadn't expected her to begin crying like this, and he had no idea how to get her to stop.
Of all the things to happen..all I wanted was someone to talk to, but..this isn't what I had in mind. And why do I care so much?
I'm a prisoner here, this woman is pretty much my jailer, so why do I want to comfort her? Why do I hate seeing her cry? Is is because she's so goddamn attractive, or is it more than that?
I should be happy that she's practically the only one on this ship who isn't convinced I'm 'Mwu', but instead...I feel guilty that I'm not him. What the hell is happening to me?
Finally, the captain's tears stopped, her shoulders ceased heaving from her sobs, and she smiled a little, looking very embarrassed. Her marigold eyes still reflected pain and loss, but she seemed to be hiding it.
"Sorry about that..I..I don't know where that came from.." Wiping away stray tears, she stood up to leave.
"I shouldn't have said things like that.." she whispered. Neo chuckled again, despite everything. "Don't be sorry. I started it, after all. I am still surprised you agreed to talk to me though. Aren't I a prisoner?"
"Yes, I guess you are. But it's not like..well, I don't know. Who the enemy really is was never that clear. Kira-kun was the one who brought you here, but it was due to who he thought you were, rather than who you were fighting for."
Neo closed his eyes. "I guess..we'll find out what happens soon enough. But I'll tell you this...I bet ZAFT goes after Orb sooner or later. No way they'll let such a powerful country stay neutral for long."
The captain looked down, face troubled. Then she smiled again. "Yes, you could be right. But we've survived everything the Alliance could throw at us, and I'm sure that it'll be the same this time.."
She turned to leave, the light catching her eyes again. "I'd better go. This ship will be home pretty soon. Sorry to bother you like that.."
As the door closed behind her, Neo was surprised by how lonely he felt at her absence. He had actually enjoyed talking to her, and the way they had talked...it was like they were friends.
Friends? How can that be? I'm..I'm a prisoner, they're only keeping me here because they think I'm someone I'm not. How could they be my friends? How could she be my friend?
But..that was the way he felt. That if he had the chance to get to know this female captain..they could become good friends. It was irrational and completely inexplicable..but it was the truth.
What the hell is happening to me?
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( Lol. Poor Neo-san. Confused, huh? This started off as angst, but I wanted it to be lighter than that, because I hate it when Murrue-san's all depressed. Plus, there's enough angsty fics around already...
Please read and review! And thankies soooooo much for all the nice messages I got! I'm really glad that so many people are reading, and that you all enjoy them. It means so much to me. Especially my forum best buddies, irishdragon and lithiumflower56 (love you guys XD) and Alone in a New Place, who's so much better at writing than me...)