Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Silently scolding myself, I sat on the white couch across from Alice. A big smile slowly spread across her face. I just wanted to be alone; to think about how I was going to fix my family. She continued to smile menacingly while filing her already manicured nails. I remembered all the times we used to hang out and how I looked up to her in a way, now I'd do anything to make sure that we only talked once a day. Even after all that happened I could still remember that day in the clearing.

I opened the book and read those last words in the inscription, "Come to me Bella," I would do anything right now to rewind to before the battle happened. But I can't, I can only wait until he is ready to talk. The tapping of the nail filer on the couch pulled me out of my thoughts. Alice was staring at me with a questionable expression on her face.

"What is it Alice?"

"He needs you Bella," her voice was sincere and sweet.

Was this what she saw? Did she see that Jasper was finally going to tell me what was bothering him? However I didn't need Alice to tell me what it was. Deep down inside I knew that Jasper was struggling with the fact that Maria was dead. I did feel a twinge of jealousy though; I wanted all of his attention for myself. I hated myself for being so selfish.

"He needs space Alice and that is exactly what I am going to give him…space,"

"Silly Bella, Jasper is the kind of guy who needs constant reassurance. Sitting here isn't going to make things automatically better." Why did she sound so condescending?

"I think I know what Jasper wants Alice. I'm going to give him space because he asked for it." Forget the friendship…I still hated her.

"Did he ask for it?" A small smirk played on her lips as she got up from the couch. "See you later Bella," I watched as she sashayed up the stairs.

I couldn't help but to let out a low inaudible snarl as I watched her leave. Was she teasing me? She did sometimes do that to me when I was human but still. Maybe Jasper did need me and by sitting here waiting I was just making it worse. I jumped up to the door but stopped before opening it. This could really make things penitent. I shook my head and darted out into the night, I followed his scent back to the clearing.

He was standing there staring at what I remembered to be the place where Maria was killed. I stepped closer to him; trying my best not to make any sounds which proved fairly easy. But his head whipped to the side look at me anyway. His features were pained and sullen; I resisted the urge to pull him into my arms; to hold him until he would hold me in return. It was like my feet had a mind of its own as I walked up to him. My body continued its mechanical movements at the same time as I reached up to touch his face. His expression softened under my touch and I breathed out in relief to his reaction. I felt his warm hand reach up to cover mine.

"I did it again, didn't I?" His voice was cautious and low.

"Kind of." He looked down; breaking our hold. "Just talk to me Jasper, tell me what's going on." He looked back up me; his eyes finally revealing the pain that settled behind the golden hue.

He sat down and patted the cold earth in front of him. I sat down and took his hand into mine; not wanting to lose his touch. He reached up to touch my cheek and dropped it half way back into my hands.

"I know that she was evil and that she threatened to kill our family but-" he stopped and looked up at the full moon that shone through the purplish gray clouds. "But I feel…I feel like a part of who I was…" He looked back at me, his eyes teeming over with agony. "I was just like her Bella, I would've done the same thing I-"

"But you didn't Jasper; you're not like her…not anymore. You know that."

"I will always be that person Bella!" He got up; his hands tightly clenched at his sides. "I may not be that monster now but it's in here." He jabbed violently at his chest.

"No, no it's not Jasper, you're not the same person you were before…you're not the monster you think you are." I stood up to look him straight in the eyes.

"Don't you get it Bella? Her venom changed me into this monster. You should know that better than anyone else." He turned away from me.

"My birthday party has nothing to do with it Jasper," He turned to face me again.

"How can you say that Bella? I almost killed you that night."

"But you didn't Jasper. I know that being around so many newborns again was hard for you but I saw your face that day. It wasn't the face of a monster," I walked up close to him and placed my hand on his cheek. "It was the face of the man I love, the man who was fighting to protect me. You may not feel this Jasper but I do." I moved my hand to cover his heart. "It's not the heart of a monster in here. Sometimes I swear that I can hear it beating," I leaned into him and pressed my ear to his chest. "I swear that it beats just for me, that our love makes us alive again. Can you honestly tell me that a monster could make me feel this way?" I looked up to reach his eyes.

"How do you do it Bella?" His voice was self forgiving; no signs of torture or agony. "How are you able to make me feel this way? In all the centuries of my life I have never felt so much love coming off of someone."

"It's easy when the person you love, loves you just as much." I snuggled deeper into his chest.

"God Bella I've been so stupid; I wasted weeks out here looking for something, when the one thing I needed was you."

"You needed that time to think, although it was hard for me, I don't regret letting you have that space."

"What made you come outside tonight?" I thought back to Alice's words and smiled.

"A good friend gave me advice," I smiled; finally realizing that Alice had been so arrogant to push me out here. I felt guilty for saying that I hated her.

"Hmm remind me to thank this friend of yours." He leaned his head down and pressed his warm lips onto mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself even tighter against than humanly possible, and then of course we weren't human. Our kisses weren't like our usually ones but more fervent and aggressive. I could feel his tongue probing my bottom lip for entrance; I opened my lips for him and felt the low growl of satisfaction vibrate through his chest. Our tongues instantly clashed together as if in a battle of their own. I could taste his arousal in my mouth as his hands went down further to cup my breast. I moaned into his kisses and was surprised when he pulled away. I breathed out necessarily and looked up to his eyes.

"I want you so much Bella, but not here," He looked around then back at the main house. We cringed simultaneously. I didn't want out first time together to be in the hearing range of Alice and Edward either. "God I want you so much," He came closer and buried his nose in my hair. "Will you let me take you out tomorrow for the weekend Bella? Just the two of us?"

"You never have to ask Jasper, I'm yours." I smiled up at him and met him in the middle for a sweet small kiss.

"Mine" He said as he continued to kiss me.

I finally had my Jasper back; excitement rolled through me as I wondered where we going to over the weekend. Wherever it was, I knew that I was going to be happy.

Aww so I guess Alice isn't so bad after all...or is she? We'll just have to wait and see! Hmmm I wonder where Jasper is bring Bella? Somewhere romantic I hope. Warning Lemons in next chapter don't read if you're weak hearted.