Epona didn't know what to do. Chaos and confusion. I'm making walls out of lies, and hanging the portrait of a smile on them.
Tara clearly wanted to move on, but felt that they should also care for the old Weatherwax. Or at least, that Epona should, while Tara took care of the heavy outdoor work. But she keeps saying "I'm not a mule"… and rubs her knees like they hurt her. Most farmers would of spent the winter resting… but Tara had been fighting all her life, with sudden bursts of power and strength, followed by long rest. Lifting bags and cutting wood for weeks wasn't something to be done with manic strength.
Then she walked the county side, looking for herbs to help Granny… and herself.
Epona had finally told Adalia that she hadn't gotten the music hall Alexandre had built with her money. Adalia had been furious with everyone involved, particularly with Epona. But not Tara. I'm so tired. Epona curled into a ball in her bed and buried her head in her pillow. No, put it outside. Put it elsewhere. The work… the work… the light.
The book waited patiently. It was eternal… but she was not.
Epona opened it, and the words swam before her eyes while the curves coiled like snakes and burned like coals, black on white. She plunged into the brambles, lost in an eternal forest. After an hour, she closed the book.
When was the last time I cooked a new dish? When was the last time Tara wanted me? The barbarian was now… relaxed… when she spoke to Epona. At ease. Yet, every morning, she would rise before Epona was awake and be gone. Some nights, Epona slept alone. Her hunger was gone… and the warmth that had once seemed to melt her all day was gone as well. Her skin felt lifeless. Her sex felt no different than an arm.
I've never been in love before. I've never wanted to be. But this is the way it was to be. The gap between Tara loving her and hating her was as small as it could be, and as wide as the darkness between the earth and the stars. It was a strange feeling to be so unglued from time. Will she love me again one day? But that would mean she and Adalia would fail… am I hoping they don't love each other one day? I'd be a constant negative force… measurements affect the outcome. So… I mustn't interfere.
I have to go...or Tara has to leave, depending on your frame of reference. And… Granny needs me. Even as she hurts me. Because she's hurt in so many ways. But I can't catch lightning anymore.
Head bowed, Epona rose from the soft bed into the colorless world. She opened two creaking doors. One from her room and one to Weatherwax's bedroom.
"Granny, do you need anything? Water or tea?" The woman was in her bed, a pillow over her head. "Wine." Epona said nothing, and waited. She can't have that with the medicines Tara is giving her. "Some water." Without being asked, Epona picked a smelly bucket that lay beside the bed.
Granny wasn't able to walk, the slightest bending of her right knee made her grimace in agony, and the left was hardly better. Epona had obliquely mentioned diapers… but "the last time I changed a dirty diaper, I was happier then on my wedding night. I can't actually think of a better day." So… that was not in the cards.
She isn't even that old… but she's fought too many battles… most she didn't need to. Where are her children? Why aren't they here helping me? Maybe...
Epona stared. A large, round woman was stomping down the path, her face a dour mask that seemed… quite familiar. The slightly hooked nose and high cheeks, much like Granny. "You Epona?" Her voice was clipped. Epona nodded. "What happened?" Epona's voice was cool. "Granny's hurt her knee working." The woman grunted, and strode into the house, brushing past her. Epona followed, saying nothing. "GRANNY, IT'S ME!" The tone was somewhere between a scream and a curse, with a slight sliver of fear. The woman sauntered into the old woman's bedroom.
Well… this is going to go well, I'm sure.
O=o=o=o=o=O
First rain, then rumbles, then fire, and another sundering.
O=o=o=o=o=O
"Oh Granny! What happened?"
The old woman's pain filled face eased for the first time Epona could remember.
"You came."
O=o=o=o=o=O
"Clean the house? …Sure."
The fat woman sat on the couch, and scratched out letters and inked papers. Time spun ahead.Epona did the dishes and passed the broom. Sometimes, the woman would look at Epona from where she sat, and mutter words inaudibly.
Whenever Epona spoke to her, the woman ignored her.
O=o=o=o=o=O
"Cook supper? …Sure."
Cold noodles, simple bitter sauce. The woman sat on the couch, squeezing her curled hair with a steaming towel into a generic style popular with Romusi commoners. She isn't even going outside. She just… sits there.
Granny's voice popped out of her room. "Epona, could you make me some soup?" The couch dweller sent a venomous stare… or squint, rather, towards Epona.
O=o=o=o=o=O
Epona looked at the drawings the woman had made. They were all of women… the distorted bodies absurdly elongated and spindly. Enormous, black eyes with miniscule pupils over pouted, tiny lips. There was no glimmer of laughter, nor even softness. The first drawing in the stack was different. It was funny, plump, and happy and bright looking. It barely seemed to belong to the same artist. It had a cute name…
But it wasn't finished.
"Gimme that!" A heavy paw snatched the papers away. The brown haired woman squinted in disgust a second and turned away.
From a chair in the living room, Granny glared at her daughter. "Don't treat her like that! She helps as much as she can! I asked you to help… years ago… Where were you then? Now, you're here and you can't even clean a damn plate!" She waved a hand at dishes Epona had cleaned.
The woman glared murder at her mother. "I was busy! And alllll you've ever cared about is this worthless old house! You followed me around the house telling me what to do!"
Granny glared, as cold as death. "It wouldn't be worthless if you had helped me fix it! But you would never listen to me! And, by the way, Epona swept up all the broken glass from beneath your bed! You actually swept broken glass beneath a bad?"
Epona looked out the window.
Now's the time for a hero with a shining sword and big laugh to burst in.
But why that hero even bother? The monsters are killing each other. The screams soon rose to shrieks but the Gorgon wasn't there to listen. Ignored, she smiled softly and looked out the window. Tara is outside somewhere, even if she isn't here with me.
O=o=o=o=o=O
She leapt down the rocks, one careful foot at a time. The river was dry, but the messy mud remained. The river bed. With a little rain, this would be such a nice stream!
The Gorgon leaped from one rock, to the next, her soft shoes clinging to the dry rocks imbedded in the mud. But if this was all water, the rocks would be slippery! How many people can say they've jumped down a river? Epona smiled delightedly!The stream winded wildly down the hillside, and Epona followed it down. After an hour of leaping, Epona had had enough. Her legs ached pleasantly. She spread her arms, and lifted a foot behind herself, leaning out like a bird with its wings spread.
Her shoes hadn't touched the mud even once.
The girl closed her eyes, and turned her face into the sun, sweat making her clothes cling to her. I love sweating! Epona leaped of her rock, into the squelching mud (although, being Epona, she only jumped into shallowest bit – dirty socks could be such a smelly chore), sending splatter arcing into the air. After that happy jump, she found a small rivulet of water, and washed herself and her clothes. Naked, she walked to a small clearing with clothes in hand, from where smoke spiralled gently among the trees.
"Tara!" Epona smiled… as best she could. It was still hard to do. She tried ignoring the sudden lance of warmth that shivered around her skin as Tara's eyes touched her naked body, and blinked. "Hey Epona… sooo… what happened to your clothes? Did you fall in the river again?" Epona sniffed, and raised a superior eyebrow. "I didn't 'fall in'. That's libellous slander! This time it was intentional." Tara sighed, and rolled her eyes. Epona spread her wet clothes beside the fire.
Tara never asked what Epona was doing, or how she was. That was good, since Epona was… less than stellar. Less than light. Less than life. But no matter what goofy, strange words Epona could come up with, Tara would only chuckle and shake her head and offer a simple remark… which Epona would try and weave into more goofiness!
I don't think anything I do will frighten her… Epona's smile slipped a bit. It's only a matter of time. "Tara? What do you think of me?" Tara grinned and eyed her body. Epona felt a blush come over her. "I think you're crazy – and highly entertaining." Crazy? Epona didn't know what to say. I love you! I love you! I'm crazy for you!
But Tara never seemed to really enjoy hearing those words, so Epona said nothing. Love is just another chain… or, at least, my love is…
"So, Granny taking the herbs I give you?" Epona nodded, expression serious. "The swelling is almost gone, but she's still stiff. Will… she get better Tara?" Tara looked away, and picked a stick beside her. She began poking at the fire, stirring up embers. "Epona… she's pretty old. She needs a real healer and a small miracle. She wasn't eating well and she works herself to exhaustion every chance she gets, whether she needs to or not." Epona felt a sick, green feeling, spreading like poison in her belly. "No!" Tara looked up. "Maybe… if she rests enough and starts eating better… We'll see what happens." Epona nodded determinedly. "We'll do it." Tara laughed, a throaty chuckle.
"So, how long that daughter of hers last?" Epona sniffed in disgust. "Four ugly days. It's just as good you decided to live out here. I think you'd have pummelled her, and I'd have cheered you on… bleh." Epona sighed a bit. "But she was there for the worst of it, at least. Someone was always awake when Granny needed help." Tara said nothing, and poked at her fire. She had refused to stay indoors since Granny's troubles began. "But the real trouble are her sons. I think she's worried about them… even if she can't say it." Thinking of hearts and minds. That's how you help people!
Epona felt herself coming alive again. It was painful. It was an invisible, tingling pain. Her eyes rested on Tara, drinking in the calm pose and stoic humor. "Tara… are you still tired? Do your knees hurt? Does your foot hurt?" Tara shrugged. "It's nothing. I'm just…" She stabbed the fire, stirring up sparks. It's okay Tara… it's okay…
Epona settled down beside Tara. She cupped a folded knee. Tara stern expression relented, and she leaned back with a sigh. "Just lean back Tara… let me help your legs. You do so much for me… for everyone." Epona slim fingers pushed into Tara's calves, pushing and rubbing.
She walks everywhere. Her legs hurt. "You need to take a bath, and ease some of the stiffness. If you hurt yourself… oh Tara… please… please don't hurt yourself…"Tara wasn't smiling, but some of the fear seemed to fade. "I'm the toughest piece of work in the world." Epona smiled. "I know." Tara mock-scowled. "Do I hear doubt?" Epona looked away shyly. "Oh no! Never that!"
Epona couldn't let go. I want her to squeeze me in her arms. I want her to kiss my ears. Squeeze me with love. Whisper she loves me. Her hands trailed up and down the warrior's beautiful legs. She massaged and rubbed sore muscles. Tara rolled on to her stomach, and Epona gently began rubbing her back.
"Tara… I love you."
She felt Tara suddenly tense, even as her face betrayed nothing. She didn't speak. Silence is golden, isn't it? Because if you have a lie for a life, but no one speaks any truth… how wonderful the lie must be. "I know you only love… part of me. The Epona part. But I'm more than that… can't that be a good thing? Maybe the hardest path is the best one? The path to peace?"
Yet, even as she spoke, the horrible hissing of her hair filled the clearing. Her touch was too cold. Too hard.
Tara's eyes squeezed shut. She shivered.
The Gorgon pulled back.
"I'm sorry Tara. I didn't want to scare you." It just happened anyway. Great job at being loving and caring, Monster. Now look at what you've done. She curled into a ball beside the warrior, silent, heart beaten and beating. "Tara? It's okay. It was just a bad dream. You can open your eyes." She saw Tara swallow, and look up. "Damn, I just had… a… a bad nightmare… Fell asleep right after that nice message." She shivered again. "Hey, about you make us some tea?" Epona smiled tremulously. "Sure!"
Her clothes beside the fire had dried by then, and she laced herself up as the kettle began heating.
Epona took a spoon out of their gears. It was a spoon, with a cover a holes through it.Provided the tea leaves were bigger than motes, they could make as much as they wanted, in the quantities they needed! She settled beside the kettle. The fire was warm on her cold skin.
She heard Tara searching in her personal effects for something.
Tara shook her head, and raised burning brown eyes on Epona. The girl felt heat shiver down her body. "I took something from the bag Avon gave us." Epona blinked. "But… why? It was nothing but poison!" The warrior shrugged. "That depends on your point of view. That stuff is a tool, like a hammer or a saw. There was an amphora of Aphrodin in it." She said it casually.
The world seemed to suddenly swim drunkenly… or was she who was wobbly? She couldn't tell. Epona sucked in a breath, a trembling coursing down her limbs. She didn't know if it was fear or desire. She wants me. She wants to feel me. Tara grinned, a touch of challenge in her eyes. She stood to her full height, looking down at Epona. "You can just call me… the Conqueror." She unstoppered the jar and downed the contents with a grin. Desire, as painful as it was sharp, pierced Epona's belly.
She wants Epona… nothing more.
Tara grasped her hair firmly with a hand, and leaned down for a kiss. She cupped Epona's head with both hands, and kissed her again… and kissed her… Tears began falling from Epona's eyes… Tara paused, and considered them with a smile. Her pupils were dilated, so wide Epona felt she could fall into them. "I used to wonder whenever you started crying like this. Epona… I know it hurts… and I know you don't want me to stop." She kissed the girl's throat, nibbling her neck.
She lifted the girl up, and carried her to her sleeping furs. She roughly pulled open Epona's bodice, and the girl turned her head away, even as she thrust her chest out. Laughter bubbled up from Tara, and she pushed the girl down into the furs. The warrior roughly grasped a nipple, and sucked and licked the other. Epona moaned, helpless. Tara swirled her tongue along the soft body spread before her… and felt Epona's legs wrap around her.
Tara pulled back suddenly. "Do you want me, Epona?" Yes… Tara grinned. "The next part is obvious." She trailed a callused hand up and down Epona's thigh. Yes… Tara laughed. "I'm almost sure this will work with you. I've got you now…" She rubbed a thumb across Epona's mouth. "Do you want me inside you?" Yes… Yes!
Tara lowered her mouth to Epona's breasts, sucking and slurping, and roughly shoved her fingers into Epona's mouth, fingers rubbing her tongue. "You want it deeper?" The slender girl convulsed beneath her, legs clamping around Tara's midriff, her eyes rolling backwards. Tara's laughter vibrated out.
"Goddess… You're the grossest girl I've ever had."
O=o=o=o=o=o=O
Tara rolled off the girl, panting. Visions danced before her eyes, everything she had ever wanted and more. Anger surged and roiled in her gut as they melted away. Laughter bubbled up as the forms suddenly danced together… for her! Armies marched at the sound of voice, and men and women died from her displeasure, while Gods and Goddesses fought to be at her side!
Her eyes fell upon the slim girl beside her. Epona? She seemed oddly blurred. "Tara… don't let the fires of Roma swallow you." Tara grinned. I'm so much bigger than her! And she loves me! Tara savoured the power of it, eyes alight with fire. Epona had the same serious expression she always had… but it was just a mask. Beneath it was desperate yearning, and love, and a wretched sense of unworthiness. It's all so clear! She thinks she's some sort of monster? She wants… eggs? Poor crazy Pony!
Tara laughed and rolled back on top of her. She anchored a foot for traction and began her conquest anew.