Hey guys!
Well Sinterklaas is over and it went by without other problems from the people who are protesting against our holiday! And though, Sinterklaas is mainly for the little kids, I got a present as well! :D Once Upon A Time Season 1 :D yay me! Thank you Sinterklaas!
Now Sinterklaas is over for 2 days and already all of the stores are transformed for the Christmas holidays! :D December is definetly my favorite month of the year. And while not every family celebrate Christmas like other countries. The kids here don't believe in Santa Clause, cause we have Sinterklaas. But the big family dinners and the Christmas tree and stuff, We do have :D And the lights and everything. And we also hope for a white Christmas every year ^^ well I do anyway. I just love it!
Woop! Thank you for all your reviews and the new followers and favorites! You guys are the best and I love them all!
Enjoy your reading!
Tony was really glad he had listened to the familiar voice, because he felt the little energy he had left in his body drain from it. And if he had been standing he sure would fall.
''No. that can't be... you... how... when...'' He stammered, not able to form a sentence.
''Hello, sweetcheeks'' Rose smiled at the distraught man, that was her son. She 'sat' on a chair beside him and reached out again.
Tony closed his eye at the more that featherlight touch. ''Mum'' Tony put his head in his hands. His elbows on the table. ''I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense... why are you here? I mean— not that I'm not glad you're here. But... oh my God. I'm not dreaming am I? I'm so tired. Please tell me this is not a dream?''
''This is not a dream, Anthony'' Rose said softly. ''Just bad timing''
''I don't understand'' He repeated. Looking up from his hands and trying to look for her.
''Oh, my sweet little baby boy'' She paused as she saw the the smile on Tony's face. It was one of the most saddest smiles she had seen on him. ''I am sure Jethro will explain everything to you as to why I am here. But for now, look at you, you are all grown up. So handsome, such a amazing man''
''I don't know about that'' Tony shook his head.
''But you are. You're an amazing man. Jethro has told me stories—''
Tony cut her off. ''Gibbs knows you're here? Wait, of course he does. That's why he send me here. He knew''
''Shannon let me talk to Jethro first. The opportunity came. I just finished my training. And it seemed only fair, as you were the first one to talk to Shannon herself. We decided to turn it around''
Tony nodded thoughtfully. That made sense.
''I'm so proud of you, Tony'' Rose stated. ''With all you have been through, your father. Boarding school, still your father. College. Olivia. And look how you are now. with a father who loves you. Two beautiful girls. You have Olivia, Mason and her brother and his family. You're life is hectic, chaotic. There will be many ups and down. You are never going to be prepared for what's to come, but I can see it. Your eyes are showing it. Just now you showed it. You're happy and that's all I wanted for you''
''I wasn't happy just then'' Tony grumbled, thinking about the little piece of shit he was going to kill with Gibbs sniper.
''Don't go doing things you will regret, sweetcheeks. Danni needs you to hold her, not to go murder the boy''
''How much do you know?''
''I know everything, that went down the last two weeks. You just have to inform me about everything I have missed''
''And you will be here, how long?''
''Just as long as you're here. As I said, Jethro will explain everything to you. I just say, whenever you need me. I am by your side. For the rest of your life''
Tony swallowed, running his hand through his hair. ''I love you, mum. I never got to say it to you, that... day''
Rose placed her hand on Tony's cheek. Tony closed his eyes at the warmth he felt against his cheek. ''I love you too. So very much. I never wanted to leave you, but—''
''No. it's okay. There's nothing to forgive. You did what you had to do and things turned out the way they were supposed to be. I don't want anything changed, because if you change one thing, then everything changes, including the good things. But I do wish, you were sitting here next to me in flesh and blood, instead in your Ghostly presence'' They were silent for a moment, then Tony smiled. ''Will you watch It's a wonderful life with me sometime again?''
''I can not miss our movie date now, can I?'' Rose returned the same smile, though he couldn't see it. ''But that will have to wait. I have to go back. And you are in for one very worried little girl that's about to walk into this kitchen'' Tony smiled again, this time he was pride. ''I'll be here, whenever you need me. Speak to you soon, Anthony''
''Bye''
Just then, the sliding doors opened and Mia stood in the middle of it. ''Daddy?'' She asked softly. ''Why aren't you coming back?''
Tony sighed and furiously wiped away, some escaped tears, he had ignored throughout the conversation. His heart skipped a beat with her 'Daddy'. It was the best thing he had ever heard. ''Sorry, sweetie. Just lost track of time''
Her eyes looked shocked and she walked towards him. ''Did you cry?'' She asked looking at him. ''It's okay if you do sometimes you know? Danni told me that. Did you cry because of Danni? Are you sad because of her?''
''No. Not because of Danni. I... just miss my mum'' Tony told her honestly.
She mentally giggled, at how he pronounced the word, mom. It sounded funny. ''Was your mom a real mom, or was she a mother?'' She asked, interested, climbing into his lap, as if she did that so many times.
Tony smiled at her. ''She was a real one. She was the best mum I've ever known. Because she was mine''
''That's nice'' She leaned against him. ''I have the best daddy, I've ever known. But then again, I only know a few''
Tony chuckled, at that, but soon sobered. ''Did Danni wake up yet?''
''No. She gets really tired when something like this happens. She says that being afraid or being someone else is very exhausting''
''Hmm''
''Are you angry with her for fighting?''
''The only person I am angry at is Wesley, sweetie''
''Good'' Mia said satisfied. ''Come back to the living room. Olivia is worried about you''
Tony didn't comment, but let her slip off his lap and walked back with her into the living room.
''Where's my coffee?'' Gibbs growled lighthearted.
''Oh...'' Tony had totally forgotten about that. He pulled Danni's upper body up and sat down, laying her head on his lap. He looked down at her, absently stroking her hair.
''Are you okay, Tony? You seem a little white'' Olivia commented worried.
''I'm fine, Liv. I'm just tired'' He kept looking down ''And angry'' He added.
''I understand'' Olivia said. ''Well, I'll get some leftover pizza and coffee for Gibbs'' She said walking away.
''Actually I think I'm going home'' Tony said suddenly, stopping her mid step. She turned around and looked at him surprised. Tony was looking between Gibbs, Mia and Olivia, but never resting his eyes on Olivia's. He saw the frown she wore on her face. ''I still have food there, but I'm really dead tired and I have to get up early tomorrow morning, to drop them off here and carpool with you to work. I think it would be really better if I just went home'' He rambled, somewhat nervously, a explanation.
Gibbs frowned now too. Was this because of what happened? About Rose? He did pick up on that Tony hadn't said anything to Olivia, since they came in. He hadn't looked at her once since then and now too he was avoiding looking into her eyes. Had something happened? He glanced at Olivia, but she kept looking at Tony, who in his turn went to wake up Danni. The look in her eyes as she followed Tony's actios, showed, confusion and slight hurt by his rejection. Yup, something definitely happened.
''Tony?'' Danni said sleepily, as she opened her tired eyes.
''Hey, sweetie. Are you ready to go home?'' Tony asked with a smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes.
Danni nodded. ''Do we have to talk about it still today?''
''I think you've had a good chat with Gibbs didn't you?'' He glanced at Gibbs, who nodded in confirmation. He looked down at her again. ''Well, then. It can wait until you come back from school tomorrow''
''I rather to just not talk about it at all'' Danni said grumpily as she sat up on the couch and yawned.
''Yeah, I know that feeling'' Tony told her. She gave him a confused look, but he shook his head.
''Here'' Mia said and she held out Danni and Tony's coats.
All three of them put on their coats and the girls grabbed their backpacks, before saying a quick goodbye to Gibbs, Olivia and Mason and were gone.
Gibbs' eyes snapped to Olivia's who was staring in the direction of the kitchen. ''Okay, tell me what happened''
''I have no idea'' Olivia stated. Plopping down next to him and groaning.
''You don't know?'' Gibbs looked at her skeptically.
''No!'' Olivia exclaimed. ''I just went up, when I saw the rest of the team leaving, just when I was about to go home. Tony looked exhausted so I offered him a ride. Well I ordered, because I was afraid he would drive into a tree or something if he closed his eyes for even a moment...'' She trailed off. ''He said things that didn't make sense and since then it feels like he's ignoring me''
''What did he say?''
''That I was the best person he met. That I always knew what to say to him to make him feel better. That I knew what was best for him. And when I told you, that someone had to do it while you're not around he said that that it wasn't the same. That us both, but it wasn't the same, kissed me on the cheek. And when I glanced at him before he walked away, he looked like he had seen a ghost or something. Then he stays as far away from me as possible. He ignores me and almost run out of here, just now! I really don't understand the guy! I—'' She stopped as Gibbs suddenly let out a chuckle. ''What?!''
Gibbs shook his head. That freaking bastard! Tony had lied to him. He had lied to Olivia. He had lied to himself! It was so obvious now. It was so clear and Gibbs mentally head-slapped himself several times for not seeing or putting it together sooner. Tony had fooled everybody, including himself, for a time.
Tony was the master in masks, and sometimes they went as far, so that Tony himself believed in the mask. So Tony had put up a mask years ago, when he was back in college, probably when she was pregnant with her unborn child, and wore it for so long that he himself believed that his feelings for Olivia was a mere deep friendship, that he couldn't give a name. He must have believed it still after his reunion together because when Gibbs asked and Tony told him, Gibbs really trusted that was what Tony thought. How could he have forgotten his own doubt?
..Flashback..
Tony pulled the empty bottle from between Mason's lips and rinsed it off under the tap. He poured sugar and milk into his coffee sat down at the table too. He turned the car seat so that Mason was facing them.
''Can I ask you something?'' Gibbs asked.
''You just did'' Tony smirked.
Gibbs gave him a head-slap and glared. ''Smart ass'' He said.
Tony rubbed the back of his head and nodded. ''What is it?''
''You and Olivia. Just friends or was there more?''
''I should've seen that one coming'' Tony sighed and put down his coffee, keeping both hands around it. ''It's complicated''
Gibbs looked at his watch. ''I got time''
Tony closed his eyes. When he opened them again he looked at the stairs as if checking if Olivia was awake yet, then sighed again. ''Olivia and I had a lot in common'' He started. ''We grew up in the same high preppy neighborhood. You know, big house, perfect green lawns with white picket fences around it. We both love movies, she can probably remember just as many chick-flick movie references as I can with the classics. We both loved sports''
''Do I have to worry about the references?'' Gibbs smirked.
''Depends on how long you letting her stay here'' Tony said. He looked absently at Mason. ''But it wasn't perfect behind closed doors of two houses in the neighborhood''
''Behind the doors we were non existent for my dad or her parents... until they decided they could use a punching bag'' Tony told him.
And there was Gibbs confirmation of his thoughts. It still shocked him though and it didn't hurt any less, because he already suspected it.
''We knew that about each other. I could talk to her about it. Nick was my best friend, but he didn't talk about what went down in his house, even though he knew I knew. And because of that we spent a lot of time together in my house when my dad was gone for business, which was a lot. I tried to spend as much time with them as I could, just because I wanted them away from there. Felt like I was protecting them. It creates a strong relationship. She became my source of trust and I, hers. I love her''
Gibbs nodded as if he was understanding what Tony was saying. Tony shook his head. ''But not in the way you asked. I love her and she was my family back then... Still is. But I don't know if I can say as a sister, because I've never thought about her in that way. But neither did I think about her as a potential girlfriend. I loved her very much, still do, but I am not nor was I ever or will I be in love with her''
''Okay'' Gibbs said.
''You believe me?'' Tony asked.
''Yeah. I trust you. My first thought when you talked about her was indeed love, and I was right. It's just another kind of love''
''I know it's complicated, but it's true'' Tony told him.
..End Flashback..
Now Gibbs knew that he had been right to think there was more to it then what Tony told him. He was right to think that Tony didn't know or was repressing it in such a drastic way that he willed himself to believe his wishes. He also knew, that, for whatever reason, something it Tony's mind had slipped or snapped and he had given something away. And as soon as he realized that, that he is now panicking inside of himself. And Gibbs understood why.
For one. Olivia and Tony are childhood friends. Secondly, she's a friend, who has a lot of baggage, while he has it himself. He doesn't want to place his own on top of hers. Thirdly, When she was pregnant, he had promised his best friend, that he would never feel something like that towards his best friends little sister. Fourthly, she comes back into his life years later, with a son, and he believes that he has somehow failed her for all the years she has suffered. Fifthly, just as they are settled, and there's a chance that he would let the mask slip, Tony gets two foster kids, who need a lot of attention, while Olivia's brother and trauma come back into her life. Tony doesn't think he can do anything with Nick around. And lastly, Tony is scared out of his mind! He has all of this self-doubt —Damned Senior!— making him think that he doesn't deserves someone like her. That he isn't good enough for her. It was why Tony didn't date nearly as much as he told his teammates. It was just onces again a mask to hold them off.
And as Gibbs thought about it, he noted that in those two years. Tony hasn't dated at all. Tony was too busy being around here, playing family, outside of his work and course program, to do that. He was happy. He still is with all his heart, with his two girls. But Olivia isn't around just as much. He misses her! even though he still sees her nearly everyday. And that with the exhaustion and foggy mind, caused him to slip tonight.
Complicated was a big understatement.
''Gibbs?'' Olivia asked for the third time and this time gave him a shove.
He jerked out of his thoughts. ''What?''
''That's the same question I was asking you and you just spaced out'' Olivia replied.
''Oh'' He said. ''Sorry, about that''
''It's okay. You just don't do that often. What made you do it now?''
''I was just thinking about how incredible smart Tony has been these last years''
Olivia frowned at him. ''Come again?''
''Tony. He has fooled all of us. And you for the most''
''I don't understand'' Olivia frowned deeper.
''You should really talk to Tony about your feelings towards him'' It was more of an order then a suggestion.
''What? Why!'' She couldn't believe that Gibbs was so bold about that. Why should she talk to Tony about that, if he was being so difficult?
''You trust me, don't you?'' Gibbs asked.
''Of course I do! With everything''
''Then you need to trust me, when I say that everything you have with Tony is more then you thought it was and Tony wanted it was''
''I still don't understand''
''You will when you talk to Tony and he's willing to tell the truth''
Olivia thought about it for a moment, but didn't say anything after that, too busy trying to understand what Gibbs was saying.
After a few minutes she stood up and went to Mason. ''Come on, sweetie. You need a bath''
''But I's playin'!'' Mason protested as he was picked up.
''And tomorrow you can continue. Now you need a bath and to do a nighty nap'' Olivia told him.
Mason huffed, truly mimicking his mothers, but didn't protest anymore. He called out, though. ''Bye Gampa!''
…
Mia looked up at Tony as they walked into their house. She has seen the exchange too. It was... odd. Tony was acting weird. Could she say that? Did she know him at all to think that how he acted just now was weird for him? She didn't really know, but she hoped that she knew him a little.
''I'll just make something and be right back here'' Tony said, disappearing through the dining room.
Mia looked at Danni who now sat down on their own couch and leaned against the armrest.
''Do you think Tony is acting weird?'' Mia asked her.
Danni frowned at her. Her head was hurting badly. ''What?''
''Tony. He was rushing... he wanted to get out of Gibbs house'' Mia told her.
''He did?'' Danni asked, a little more alert through her sleep and headache.
''Yes! It was like one of them had the plague or something''
''Why don't you just ask him?''
''I... I don't know. I don't want him to think I meddle in his business or something''
''Mia if you think something is going on or you're just worried, then you talk to him. You trust him right? Trust him to speak the truth?'' Mia nodded. ''Than trust that he will give you an honest answer''
Mia thought for a moment. ''I really wish you would do the same. That you would trust him''
''Yeah, sorellina. I do too'' Danni replied, before closing her eyes when it felt like a stab went through her head. ''Get some painkillers for me?''
''Sure'' Mia agreed and made her way to the kitchen. She sat down on a breakfast chair and watched him work around the kitchen making a sandwich for himself. ''Are you okay?'' Tony jumped and turned around startled. ''Sorry'' She mumbled.
''No. it's okay. I just didn't hear you come in'' Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead.
''Are you okay, Dad?'' Mia asked again.
Every time, the word hit Tony in his head. He gazed at her for a moment before giving in. ''I said something that I swore I would never tell anyone, least of all the person I told it to''
''A secret?''
''Yes''
''Did someone tell you the secret or is it your own?''
''My own''
A pause.
''I will be too young to understand, won't I?''
Tony chuckled at that. ''Afraid so, little girl''
''Iam not little!'' Mia huffed. ''And don't change the subject''
''Sorry, mom'' Tony played along. But then grew serious again. ''It's just that I think that only bad things will happen when the secret comes out''
''Like it will hurt people?'' Tony nodded. ''How do you know?''
''I don't know for sure it's just...'' He trailed off. ''It's something, that won't just my life. But everyone else's too. And now that includes yours and your sisters as well. A few weeks ago we walked about the risk of my work, but this is just as big, if not totally different. Then there's a fact that I lied, mostly to myself, about it''
''Wow, adult life is complicated'' Mia stated. ''I'm glad I am still a kid''
''I'm glad you are able to be one. You should be one''
''Do you think you can keep your secret a secret?''
''No'' Tony said confidently. ''With me spilling a fraction of the secret a couple of hours ago, it's for sure that people are going to question''
Mia nodded in thought.
''Thank you'' Tony said to her.
She looked at him in disbelieve. ''What?''
''Thank you'' He said again. ''For listening. For being here. Don't know how I survived without knowing your or your sister''
''You mean that?''
''Of course I do!''
''Good, 'Cause the feeling is mutual''
''Good!''
''Does your secret have to do with Olivia?'' She asked suddenly.
His eyes widened. ''Why—''
''You didn't look at her once and you wanted to go home so fast. I just thought it made sense''
''You're too smart for your own good'' Tony pointed at her. He opened a drawer, got some aspirins, then got a bottle of water out of the fridge. He grabbed the sandwich, even though it wasn't as finished as he would like and started to walk back to the living room.
Mia hopped off the chair and followed him. ''Does that mean that I am right?''
He smirked, but didn't look at her, nor did he answer her question. Though, Mia was fairly certain that she was indeed, right.
…
The next day, there was only more tension. When Tony and his girls were back at Gibbs' house early in the morning, Tony not only ignored Olivia's pleading eyes for the most part, but he also tried to avoid Gibbs stare. He was reminded once again, that he had the most difficulty with that one. He was never able to do that, but that morning he was succeeding surprisingly well with it.
It didn't make it easier when he left the girls with Gibbs, and he himself left with Olivia to work. They didn't say anything, but he could feel the many glances that Olivia shot at him from from her place behind the wheel. It made him shift in his seat. For sure, Olivia and Gibbs had been talking when he was gone last night.
The day went on, with Olivia finishing her morning shift and Tony spending another whole day with the team, trying to find their killer. At the end of the day, finally they had and after long chase through the center of the city, they had caught him. Really why did they always have to run? Okay so it was better then being shot at, but still, it wasn't Tony favorite thing to do. At least, not when it didn't involve two, teams, a basketball and a net.
He had send his team home after they had written their reports and had given them to him, but asked for for Ziva to stay a moment, wanting to talk about her pregnancy. He was the team leader after all and he had noticed some things through out the few days. She didn't want to admit it, but the baby was eating more of her energy than she wanted. He had told her, that he would talk to McGee. He knew that McGee could learn her a few quick things about the computer and the things he was good at, so that when Tony decided that she would no longer be able to keep up the field work, they would switch.
She didn't particularly like it, but agreed. Chris who had been waiting for her, told her that he was happy about it. He wanted her and the baby safe and over exercising was a risk he didn't want to take if it could easily be avoided. Ziva just smiled at him and gave him a kiss. Together they went home. And Tony did too.
He was home just before Danni and Mia were. He got his mail from the mailbox by the gate. They were mostly bills to be paid, advertising magazines, magazines for Danni and Mia. But a envelope got his eye. He put it on the passengers seat of his car and took it inside his house. He sat down on the couch, and opened that envelope first.
Just when he thought that his week couldn't get any more difficult, here it was. The letter.
Dear Mr. DiNozzo,
Your request in order to adopt Ms. Danielle Phillipa Covelli and Ms. Mia Lyana Covelli has been thoroughly investigated. We, the people of The National Council of Adoption, located in Colombia District, inform you that we will be sending one of our Social Workers in order to take a look in the current environment the two children are staying in, to decide if it is an appropriate location to stay for as long they are underage. Also he or she will have a conversation, with both you and the two children to note your relationship with the each other.
If their's an okay from him or she, we are obligated to inform the biological parent, in this case it's Mrs. Patricia Covelli, about the new developments and for a legal permission on her side to adopt the Ms. Danielle Covelli and Ms. Mia Covelli. If this is not granted, this will be taken to your already announced court date and be discussed then.
Our Social Worker will visit you in three days, on Saturday January 10th, at 1:30 pm.
As for your court date, this will take place in three weeks, on Saturday January 31th, at 9:30 am. All people who will be present during the trial, have to be present at 9:15 am.
If there are any questions, don't hesitate to call, email or write us with our information on the bottom of the letter.
Yours Sincerely,
Jessica Cunningham
Tony reread the letter once, trice. ''The biological parent, Patricia Covelli'' He mumbled. They needed her permission? Okay, he knew that. But he hadn't thought about it. It was so twisted, the woman didn't care for her daughters. She never had. She was a pothead and hadn't seen or spoken to the girls in a year and still she needed to give permission for him to legally adopt them? Sometimes he really hated how the system worked. But even if she didn't give permission, he didn't think court would withheld him the adoption, with all the information about their case and the woman herself. It was just a formality.
For now, this was just another step closer to be a official family and nothing was going to stop it.
…
As for Danni's and Mia's day, it was quiet. Mia talked quietly with her classmates and friends... if she could call them that, while Danni lurked around a door that could change everything.
She took another deep breath, before knocking on the door.
''Come in'' A voice said from the other side.
Danni opened the door and slowly walked in, closing the door behind her.
''Danni'' Ms. Gomez smiled at her. But then saw the bruise on her face. ''Dear Girl. What has happened to you?''
''I was in a fight'' Danni told her honestly.
Ms. Gomez sighed. ''I gathered that. Do I need to call Mr. DiNozzo?''
''No. Actually it happened yesterday''
''How come I haven't heard about it?''
''People don't like to talk about it when it risks their own safety, Ma'am''
''Tell me what happened'' Ms. Gomez, leaned forward and placed her chin on her intertwined fingers.
So Danni told her what happened yesterday. That it wasn't an actual fight, especially after what he had said to her. Danni told her about her previous relationship with Wesley and Tess.
''I can't believe that I missed it'' Ms. Gomez said, with a hint of disappointment in her voice. ''I walked by that hallway, I knew something was off, but I let it go''
''It's not your fault''
''Tell me, Danni. Your previous fights, you weren't always the one that provoked them, were you''
''That doesn't matter, Ma'am'' Danni dismissed. ''I just don't think I can be at school if... if they are here?''
''You want to go to another school?''
''No!'' Danni denied. ''But I don't want to have to look over my shoulder every minute I'm out of class''
''I understand that'' Ms. Gomez replied. She thought for a moment. ''It has come to my attention that both Ms and Mr. Gates, have been arrested over the Christmas holidays. As you told me, you already knew that as well. They had been given a warning from the Headmaster that should they step out of line again, they would be possibly expelled. I could talk to the headmaster about the story you have just given me''
Danni nodded.
''It would mean, that you will have to tell your side of the story to him again and that your guardian has to be informed'' Again Danni nodded. ''You did good, Danni''
Danni smiled at her.
''So we still have a few minutes. Tell me how you and your sister are besides this little thing'' Ms. Gomez smiled back at her.
I hope that clears a bit about Tony's feelings ;) It made sense to me, and I hope that it did for you as well. So tell me what you think? About the whole chapter! :) I want to know your thoughts. !
Update soon! X Leonie