Chapter 25: All The Pain
BPOV
"Bella?" Angela said as she answered the phone.
"Hi, Angela,"
"Hey! So are we still on for tonight?" She asked.
"Well that's why I'm calling. We won't be able to make it today. Edward is sick."
She let out a sigh of frustration. "So that means you can't even come?"
I knew this was coming. I could have gone with them out to eat, but if I was being honest, I didn't like leaving Edward all by himself with Alice. If Bev were still around, sure, I would have gone but not now. Edward had the twenty-four hour stomach bug. You know; the one where you throw-up all day and can't keep anything down. It sucked because since he couldn't keep anything down, his blood sugar levels were all over the place and if I didn't help him keep them even, he could end up in the hospital and I didn't want to have to see him in a hospital.
He told me he would go with us and just not eat anything, but I told him absolutely not. He had a nice little fever going on and his face was as pale as a fishes belly and he could barely stay awake when he wasn't hurling into a bucket or in the toilet. I tried to get Alice to go out with me while we let him sleep, but she wouldn't. Edward tried to talk her into it but she of course didn't want to leave his side. Edward's only concern was her catching what he had, but there was no fighting with her about it. She has been in bed with him all day long even when he slept.
"He has no one to stay with his sister. I can't just leave her in the house with him. He can barely stay awake."
"Well where was she going to go when you guys came out to dinner?"
By the tone of her voice, I could tell she thought I was lying and just making up excuses. It pissed me off, but I had other, more important things to worry about than Angela jumping to invalid conclusions. That was petty shit that didn't really mean much. I just wanted to reschedule the dinner and get back to Edward.
"She was going to a friend's house but she doesn't want to leave him."
"How old is she again?" She asked.
"She's six. They're very close. But how about Saturday?"
Edward already asked if Olivia's parents would take her that day instead. It was Wednesday and the only reason we picked that day was because the school had the day off; a professional development day that didn't include teacher's aides to have to go to work. Edward didn't go to work to deliver newspapers because he was sick and he probably wouldn't be able to work tonight either.
She sighed. "Yeah, I guess that's fine. Maybe the two of us can meet for lunch some day during the week or something?"
"Yeah, maybe, just give me a call."
"Alright, bye Bella."
"Bye Ang, and tell Tanya I said hi and sorry."
"I will. Bye." And we hung up.
I dropped down on Edward's couch and dropped my head in my hands. I took a deep breath. It had been a crazy couple of days. The days were filled with work, school, homework…lots of homework, and limited time with Edward and Alice. Now that I did have time to be with them, Edward had gotten sick. It wasn't his fault of course, but it still sucked. It seemed to go along with the whole bad luck shit that I expected to come.
I got up from the couch and went to Edward's room to check on him. I opened the door slowly because he was probably sleeping. I peeked into the room and he was sleeping as I expected, and so was Alice. I smiled at the both of them curled up on his bed. I just tried to ignore the pallor of Edward's skin. I walked slowly out of the room and closed the door softly so I wouldn't wake them. I went into the kitchen to get Edward's testing kit out for when he woke up. As I was getting it ready, I heard a phone ringing and it wasn't mine.
I jogged to the living room so the ringing wouldn't wake Edward and Alice. I looked at the caller ID of Edward's phone and saw it was Bev. I answered it right away because I was sure Edward wouldn't have minded.
"Hello?"
"Bella? I did call Edward didn't I…?" She asked.
"Yeah, you did. I just answered his phone."
"Oh! Well what a pleasant surprise! How are you, sweets?"
I let out a forced breath. "I've been okay. Pretty busy these days with school and all that."
"Oh yeah, college really takes the wind out of you, huh?"
I chuckled. "Yeah, kind of." I ran a hand through my hair and sat down on the couch again. "So how are you, Bev?"
"I'm doing very well. I miss you all so much, but I am having a good time here. I forget how much I miss Leon's family. We didn't always get along, but they are good people."
"Well it's good to hear that, Bev."
"Yeah, so where is the boy and the Shortcake?" She asked anxiously.
"Oh they are both sleeping. Edward has a bad stomach bug and Alice of course won't leave his side."
"Oh poor boy…he told you what you have to do for him when he is like that, right?" She asked.
"Yeah, he said he has to have to stay hydrated with some Gatorade and monitor his sugar a lot to make sure it doesn't get to low or too high."
She sighed out in relief. "Okay good, he told you. He can end up in the hospital for quite a while if he doesn't take care of that."
Ugh…I knew she didn't mean to, but she made me even more nervous.
"So how is he? I know he's sick, but how's his attitude?"
"Eh…you know. Cranky, irritable, and whiny. Typical Edward."
She chuckled. "Typical man." She pointed out. "Men have terrible tolerance for sickness. I loved Leon to death, but when the man was sick I just wanted to leave the house and come back when he was back to normal."
I laughed. "Yeah, I'm not necessarily enjoying his attitude but oh well."
Yeah, his demeanor sometimes pissed me off, but through it all, Edward only wanted someone to take care of him and I had no problem with that. He was also a cuddler when he was sick. It was cute. Whether it was with Alice or with me, he wanted to cuddle when he felt bad.
"Well you're a better woman than me, honey." She said. I chuckled. That was impossible. "Well I actually called for a reason."
"Okay, what is it?"
"I won't be coming home on Sunday like I originally was. Instead I'll be home late Tuesday night. Lance wanted to go out with one of his cousin's for his birthday on Monday so we are just staying an extra couple days."
Man, I bet Alice wouldn't like that too much. "Oh, okay, I will let Edward know."
"Okay, and everything is good over there though, right? Does Edward have someone watching Alice?"
"Yes, everything is fine and I've been taking care of Alice as much as I can. I've been spending the night a lot or he would bring her to work with him and she would just sleep in the truck while he delivered if I wasn't available. We have been doing alright."
"Okay good, I worry too much about you all. My son is about ready to put me in a home."
I laughed. "Oh Bev, don't worry. We got it under control. We sure do miss you though."
"Oh I miss you all too. Only a couple more days though!"
"Yeah!" I cringed when I heard Edward hacking down the hallway. Shit. "Well I'll see you then, Bev. The beast just woke up and he is throwing up his stomach as we speak."
"Eww…okay. Tell him I send him my healing vibes."
"I will! Bye!" She said bye and I closed the phone before jogging to Edward's room.
I opened the door and he was keened over the side of the bed throwing up into the bucket I had put there. Alice sat up behind him, one hand rubbing her eyes and the other rubbing his back. I walked up to him and ran my hand through his hair as he did his business. The smell was horrible and so was the sound, but I dealt with it. When he was finished, he rolled out of the bed and lifted the bucket.
"Where are you going, Ecy?" Alice asked.
"Get rid of this shit." He said in an annoyed and angry voice.
"Edward, I can do that." I said and walked after him.
"Hell no. I'm sick of you having to deal with it. It's disgusting." He said.
He stalked out of the room and I turned to Alice. She just shrugged her shoulders and lay back down over the spot Edward had been laying. It was probably really warm.
"I'll be right back, Alice." I said.
She lifted her arm as a way of letting me know she heard me and I went to the bathroom where Edward was flushing the toilet. He looked so mad and he went over to the sink and doused the bucket in bleach and started scrubbing. I let him get his anger out. I didn't really know what exactly his problem was, but it was Edward so it could have been anything.
He scrubbed and scrubbed and then rinsed the bucket until he was finished. He turned the water off and threw the bucket on the counter. He braced his hands on the sink and took a deep breath.
"I don't know what is happening to me." He whispered.
I walked over to him and placed a hand on his back. "What do you mean, baby?"
He shook his head and turned toward me. He was all sweaty and there was no color on his skin but white.
"I don't know. I just feel…" He lifted his hands and they shook as he tried to get out the words. "Wrong. I feel wrong."
"You're sick, Edward…"
"No, it's more than that. It's deeper than that. It's kind of like I'm on the edge of an episode. Like my body wants me to have one, but there is nothing to set it off, you know? And now it is just lingering and making me have these mood swings and it's probably why I'm sick and it's making me fucking nervous because what if Bev isn't here and I hurt Alice and then they will take her away from me and then I…oh fuck." He leaned back on the sink and buried his face in his hands.
"Hey, hey…" I walked up to him and put my hands on each side of his face. "You're fine, Alice is fine, and she's here. You just need to calm down, babe. Everything is going to be okay."
He shook his head and pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his middle. He held onto me tightly and I felt so bad for him. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how to do that.
"I'm sorry. Everything just sucks. Not only am I fucking sick and vomiting up my whole being, I also had to cancel the dinner with your friends that probably hate me and I can't even kiss you on the one free day we could have had together."
I lifted my head off his chest. "You can kiss me, baby."
"You can stop taking crazy pills, hermosa."
"Come on, just a little one?" I pouted for effect.
"Take your pout somewhere else, Bella. I'm not going to infect you."
I groaned. It frustrated me of course because he was right there and I didn't get to kiss him, but I knew if the situations were reversed, I wouldn't let him kiss me either.
"Fine, but you owe me like a million when you get better."
"I already have a million hold for you, beautiful." I smiled and let go of him.
I turned to walk away, expecting him to follow me, but I heard a bang come from behind me. My head whipped back to him and he was on the floor with his hands holding himself on the toilet seat.
"Edward!" I ran over to him. "What happened?"
"Fuck." He said and brought his right hand in front of him and clenched and unclenched his fist as if testing out his joints. "I just got a little lightheaded."
"I'll go get the kit." I said in a panic.
I got up from the ground and made my way quickly to the kitchen. I gathered everything with shaking hands and ran back to the bathroom. When I got there, Edward was still in his same spot with Alice curled up in his lap and his arm lightly around her. I brought the kit over to him and knelt in front of him. I started getting everything together. He taught me how to do it a couple of times. It wasn't that hard. Once I had the needle ready, he put his finger out to me and I brought it to his finger and pressed the 'trigger.' That's what Edward called it. I squeezed his finger until some blood came out and put some on the tester.
I looked down at the number.
"Shit." I said.
He took it from me. "Are you kidding?" He said in frustration.
He moved Alice off of his lap and took the kit away from the ground and pulled out a bottle filled with something clear.
"What is that?"
"Insulin." He said matter-of-factly.
He took out a syringe and a small pack with an alcohol wipe. I looked over at Alice and she didn't even seem fazed by it. She still looked tired as she leaned on Edward's side. I on the other hand was kind of freaking out. His blood sugar was 250…that was way too high.
"I'll need your help." He said.
"Okay, just tell me what I have to do."
"You can either pinch or poke."
I ran my hand through my hair. "What does that even mean?" I was kind of freaking out.
"Hey," He said and grabbed my hand. "Calm down. I just need a shot of the insulin. It will bring my sugar down. It's not a big deal." He stuck the needle into the top of the bottle and held the bottle upside down with the needle still inside. He pulled back on the plunger and the barrel filled with the insulin. He took the needle out and flicked the side of the syringe. "Alright, I'll do the shooting. Just pinch some skin below my upper arm." He said and held out his arm.
"Why don't you just do your leg, Ecy?" Alice asked.
"I don't feel like lifting my pant leg up." He said and Alice just rolled her eyes.
She seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing and I wondered how many times she had seen him do that. He held his arm out to me and I pinched his skin.
"Ow!" He yelled and I took my hand away instantly. He laughed. "I'm just kidding, hermosa, you need to loosen up."
I groaned and hit him on his shoulder. "Don't do that!"
"Ow, don't hit the sickly, Bella."
"I hate you. Just give me your arm." I said and pinched his skin again. He just chuckled and stuck the needle in the skin I had pinched.
"Alright, you can let it go." He said.
I let it go and he pushed the plunger down so the insulin went into his system. He took the needle out and took out some things to dispose of the dirty needle.
"Is there anything I can get you?" I asked.
He started getting up from the ground and I got up with him. Alice ran out of the bathroom to the living room I guessed.
"Nah…I'm fine. I'm just a little tired…a-fucking-gain."
"Okay, well you go back to bed and I'll just…I don't know…clean up for you."
He shook his head with a small smile on his face and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Don't think so. Come lay down with me."
I smiled and didn't look up at him or else I would be tempted to kiss him. "Okay. Let's go my sick man."
"Right behind you, my crazy woman."
I laughed and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the bathroom. He stopped me in the middle of the hallway.
"Hey short stuff!" He called down the hall and I laughed.
"Yes, tall stuff?" Alice called and he smiled.
"You going to come lay with us?"
"Can I watch TV?" She asked.
"Of course, just get your skinny little butt over here." He said.
I heard her little feet running toward us and she ran right past us in the his room. I led him there as well and Alice had the remote at the end of his bed putting on something to watch. Edward got under the covers and I got in next to him on his right side. Alice went on his left and we both cuddled into his sides. He took a deep breath.
"Go to sleep, baby." I said and rubbed my hand across his stomach.
"You know what, Bella?" He asked.
"What, Edward?" I looked up at him and he had his eyes closed. Other than the pastiness of his skin and the sweat on his face, he looked completely peaceful.
"It's times like these where I think maybe everything will be okay." He said.
I sighed. "Everything will be okay, babe. Don't worry."
Everything had to be okay.
"I love you." He said.
"I love you too." I whispered.
I looked over to Alice and she rubbed her eyes lazily. She must have been tired. Edward really started to worry me, but he really was having some extreme mood swings. He woke up about ten minutes ago angrily scrubbing a bucket and flipping out about it, now he was tired and being all calm and loving. I loved that he was, but it also scared me.
But everything would be okay.
I'll make sure of it.
"Why do I have the feeling that this will be completely awkward?" Edward asked as we drove to the restaurant we were to meet Angela and Tanya.
I was driving in my car and Edward sat in the passenger seat. This was new. He usually wanted to drive and he hated taking my car because he had no leg room. It wasn't my fault the man was freaking tall and his legs barely fit in the leg area available in my small car.
He was really fidgety though. His leg did not stop bouncing and he just wouldn't sit still. I didn't know if it was nerves or something else, but he was making me nervous with his restlessness.
"It will probably be awkward for all of us." I said.
He sighed. "I'll try to be good, hermosa."
I smiled and reached over for his hand. "Thank you. You weren't bad last time, baby."
"I actually was, you just have a higher tolerance for my bullshitery."
I laughed. "Bullshitery? Never heard that one before."
"That's because you're a square." He said. I pinched his hand. "Ow!"
"I'm not a square."
"And I'm not ready to die, so instead of abusing your poor, innocent boyfriend, keep your eyes on the road, pazza."
I snorted. "Innocent. Good one."
He laughed. "So do you have any tips? Something I shouldn't say?"
I shook my head. "Just be yourself, baby. Honestly, if they can't accept you for who you are, then that's their problem. I don't want you to conform to what you think they are looking for in you. You're fine the way you are."
"Alright, but if I get too annoying, just kick me or something."
I chuckled. "You're weird."
"I know."
I pulled up to the steakhouse where we were to meet them. I started to get a little nervous and also a little excited. I did miss them. I got out of the car and Edward followed after me. He had his hands in his pockets and I walked ahead of him. I opened the door and held it open for him.
"Why thank you, sir." He said.
"Fuck you, ma'am." I said under my breath so no one else heard, but he did.
He laughed and that caused everyone else to stare at us. He didn't seem to mind and neither did I. I just smiled. His laughter had that effect on me.
I went up to the front desk and the man there smiled as we approached. "How can I help you?" He asked.
"We are here for the reservation under Angela Webber." I said.
"Well pretty lady, it seems your friends haven't arrived yet. Would you like to be seated anyway? Or you can just stick around…" He said.
I felt Edward's arm around my waist and I looked up at him in surprise. He had a glare towards the man behind the desk. Oh I see what he did there. Protective Edward was hot, but he couldn't make a scene. If he did, with the way his attitude had been lately, I knew it wouldn't end well.
"I think we will just be seated, thank you." I said.
He nodded his head with his eyes still on me, not even paying attention to Edward. We followed behind him and Edward held onto me the entire time. I hoped this guy wouldn't make things difficult because I didn't need Edward in a bad mood the whole dinner. He brought us over to a table with four seats, and when I went to go sit down, the waiter took the chair out for me. Oh boy.
Edward grabbed onto the chair. "I got this, thank you." He said curtly with venom in his voice.
The waiter held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, sir, just being a gentleman."
"That's not needed here." Edward said and pulled the chair out for me.
I sat down with a sigh.
"Okay, well enjoy your meal." The man said and then walked away.
Oh thank God that guy wasn't a complete prick or else things would not have ended well. Edward pulled his chair out roughly beside me and sat down next to me.
"Can you believe that guy?" He asked and put his arm on the back of my chair.
"Edward, it's not a big deal."
"That guy could not tell me what color your fucking eyes were because he looked everywhere but there. Fucking perv." He really was mad.
I shrugged. "It's whatever, Edward. It's not like I would ever reciprocate anything. No need to get jealous."
"Jealous?" He asked in astonishment. "I'm not jealous, Bella. I just think he should learn some respect."
"Well that's not your problem, baby. There are jerks in the world, and there isn't much anyone can do about it." I grabbed his hand. "So instead of getting all worked up about a guy that we will probably never see again, chill out. It didn't bother me so it shouldn't bother you."
He leaned in closer to me and smiled. "You're such a good person, you know that?"
I shrugged. "I try my best."
He leaned forward and kissed me. These mood swings…
"Uh…Bella?" I heard Angela say.
I pulled away from Edward and we both looked up at Angela and Tanya both standing in front of us.
"Hi!" I said.
I let go of Edward's hand and got up from the chair. I pulled Angela in for a hug first because she was the one closest to me. She laughed and squeezed me hard in a hug.
"Oh Bella, I miss you!" She said.
"I missed you too!" I said.
I pulled away and looked at her. She didn't look too different. Her hair was a little shorter, but that was about it. I let go of her completely and hugged Tanya next. She held onto me tighter.
"I'm sorry, Bella." She said.
I sighed. "It's okay."
I let go of her and held onto her hand. I looked over to Edward and he stood up with his hands in his pockets.
"Er…hi." He said. "Angela, Tanya." He nodded in each of their directions.
"Hi, Edward." Angela said.
"Hi." Tanya said.
Okay, well they weren't being rude so that was good. I went back to my seat and Angela and Tanya got situated in front of us. It was awkwardly silent for a couple seconds until surprisingly Edward broke it.
"Look, I'm sorry for what went down last time, and I hope I didn't ruin things for you three's friendship." He said.
"Oh no!" Angela said to him. "No, you didn't ruin the relationship, we just…well we are just protective of Bella, and I hope you see where we are coming from, right?"
I held my breath hoping Edward's mood didn't shift to a self-loathing mood because he could get like that when he wanted to.
"I get it." He said.
"And we didn't know your sister had ADHD." Tanya said. She wasn't as accepting as Angela was being, but at least she made an effort.
He sighed. "I know, I just get protective and I know you both understand that."
Wow, he had a good point. This all just happened because of one person's need to protect the one they love and making wrong conclusions. Maybe since we got everything out in the open, things would end up being okay between the four of us. That would make me incredibly happy.
"We do." Angela said. "So what do you say about starting over?" She asked.
"I think that sounds good." Edward agreed.
It was obvious what I thought and we all looked over at Tanya. She looked at each of us and left her eyes on me for a moment.
"Fine. I think that is a good idea."
"Thank you." I mouthed to her and she smiled. "So…what are we all getting?" I asked.
Then we all went to look at our menus to see what we should get. Edward of course couldn't make a decision and he made me pick for him or else he would have drove himself insane. I didn't know what the big deal was, it was just a meal, but Edward had his own way of thinking of things. It caused for great entertainment apparently because Tanya and Angela both laughed at our bickering over such an inconsequential thing.
The waitress (thank God it wasn't the previous guy) came over and took our orders. I decided to get Edward barbeque chicken because it was healthier than a big steak. He didn't seem to mind and I got chicken, broccoli, and ziti. Edward's face scrunched up at that. He hated ziti. I didn't understand it since it tasted like all other pasta, but again, Edward thought of things differently. He also ordered himself a beer. I never saw him drink and I didn't know if that went well with his diabetes, but he assured me it wouldn't kill him.
I turned to Angela and Tanya when all of our food was ordered.
"So how have you both been?" I asked.
"I've been good. Me and Ben are still going strong." Angela smiled.
"Oh that's good." I then looked to Tanya.
"Yeah, I haven't settled down if that's what you're waiting to hear." Tanya chuckled.
I laughed. "I kind of expected that, Tanya, you're kind of a party girl."
She laughed. "I know I am."
"So am I." Edward said with a tip of his bottle in her direction.
We all started laughing and he put the tip of the bottle to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it. Uh…what were we saying?
"Well the title of party girl would have definitely gone to Bella back in the day." Tanya said.
"No shit," Edward raised his eyebrow. "You were a party hopper, hermosa?"
"I told you I was." I said.
"Yeah, she used to be a lot of fun to hang out with. She did some crazy things too." Angela said and Tanya laughed.
"Remember when you hit that guy and threw your drink on his face?"
I chuckled. "He deserved it."
"What did he do?" Edward asked. He didn't sound protective like he did before, he just seemed curious and engrossed in the story.
"We were at this party and he was sitting with his friend. They were drinking and smoking. The guy I hit his name was…what was his name again?" I asked.
"Uh…I think it was Tyler."
"Yes! Tyler. Well, Tyler's friend was so high and drunk he could barely form a sentence, but Tyler was sitting there making some nasty comments about every girl that walked by. They didn't know he was saying it, but I heard it and he said something bad about Angela when she walked by, so I got in front of him, threw my drink in his face and slapped him."
Edward laughed. "That is pretty bad ass-ish of you."
Angela and Tanya laughed. "It was pretty bad ass-ish of her. It was classic. The guy started crying and ran in the bathroom."
"Pussy." Edward commented with a smile on his face.
"Exactly what I said." Tanya said.
Angela sighed. "Those were the days."
"Yeah, we had a lot of fun." I said.
"So how is school, Bella? Still with Amanda's group?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
I didn't know how long I would be in that group though. I hadn't had another run-in with Jacob yet, but it was bound to happen and I didn't know what would happen. The guy told me I would make a good wife. That just wasn't right.
"Oh so you met Jacob right?" Angela asked.
"Yeah…I did. You met him?"
"Yeah! He seems like a great guy."
Tanya laughed. "Yeah, and he's a great kisser too."
I gasped. "Tanya! You didn't!"
I did not like the idea of her with him at all. There was something about him, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I didn't trust the guy. My instincts told me not to trust him one bit.
"What? I only kissed him!"
I shook my head. "I didn't like him."
"What?" Angela asked as if it were the craziest thing she ever heard. "He's so charming and good looking."
Tanya laughed. "Uh…Ben? Remember Ben, Angela."
I didn't like them talking about Jacob as if he were some good guy. Yeah, I didn't know him well, but I could confidently conclude that he wasn't such a great guy. He made me uncomfortable, and I couldn't just ignore that. Edward must have known I was feeling uncomfortable and he reached under the table to grab my hand. He always broke me down when he did that.
Angela giggled. "I know, but if Ben can ogle Jessica Alba, then I can appreciate the attractiveness of Jacob Black."
"Oh and you know who else looks good?" Tanya asked and they both got into a conversation about some guy.
I swirled my straw in my cup of Coke and Edward squeezed my hand I looked over to him.
"You are looking very beautiful today." He said in an attempt to get me in a better mood of course. He could have done that with saying less because he made everything better, but I loved he was being sweet with me and making that effort.
"Thank you, baby."
"I'm kind of scared of you after that story about your abuse of the male species…just saying." He said.
I laughed. "Well then don't piss me off."
He smirked. "Well that was the time where you were supposed to say, 'oh Edward, I would never hit you and throw my drink in your face because I love you.'"
"Uh…why would I lie?"
He chuckled. "You bitch."
I laughed. "I'm just kidding. I do love you."
"But you would still hit me and throw a drink in my face?"
"If you piss me off enough…I can't make promises I can't keep."
"And again, another reason why you scare me." I laughed and kissed his cheek.
There was silence coming from where Angela and Tanya were and we both looked over to them. They finished talking and were looking at us with smiles on their faces.
"Alright, you guys are actually pretty cute together." Tanya said.
Edward sighed. "Cute though? I don't like that word."
Tanya chuckled. "Why? Not manly enough for you?"
"Yeah…yeah that's why."
"Well get over it, mofo. You two are cute together."
Edward looked over to me. "Do you hear this? She just called me a mofo."
I shrugged. "What do you want me to do about it? You're a big boy."
"So I have permission to swear at your friend?"
I shrugged and Tanya was smiling, ready for the challenge. "By all means…"
"Alright bitch." He said.
"Asswipe." She retorted.
"Slut."
"Dickhead."
"Whore."
And they went on and on like that for about a minute and a half and it was pretty funny to watch. Their words were pretty horrible and got worse as they went on. Edward of course threw in some swears in a different language that threw Tanya off, but she held her own. They ended the whole fight with a truce and a laugh between them and I couldn't be happier that they were getting along no matter how unorthodox their relationship was turned out to be.
At least there was a relationship there and I really couldn't have been happier.
"I don't want to go." I whined.
My head was pressed to his and we were standing at his door and I was about to leave. I really, really didn't want to, but I had to. After we left the restaurant, we went to pick up Alice and I was dropping them off, but Alice made me come inside to see how she cleaned her room all by herself.
"I know, but you got to." He said.
"I would if you would just stop distracting me by being all handsome and kissing me." He smiled and kissed me anyway. Fucker.
He knew what he was doing. I gave into the kiss for a couple seconds…long enough to get my tongue in his mouth and for his to get in mine. I had found myself more sexually frustrated than usual. Edward and I hadn't gotten too far in our relationship in the physical aspect; excluding that one night. He did that for me a couple times more after that day whenever we found ourselves having time, be he still wouldn't let me reciprocate. Yeah, I still got my release, but it killed me that he never got it…from me anyway.
He sighed and pulled away. He rested his forehead back on mine. "You have to go, hermosa. Your homework is calling you."
"Well I want to tell my homework to shut the fuck up." I said.
He chuckled and pulled me in for a hug. I did not, under any circumstances, wanted to leave his arms in that moment. I didn't know why, but I felt that I shouldn't have left. Something told me I should have stayed with him and just spent the night with him, but I couldn't. I was behind on homework and I needed to get it done.
"Don't be mean to your homework, Bella."
"Yeah, yeah…whatever." I kissed his lips one last time and opened the front door. "I'll call you later on tonight?"
"Yes, please." He said.
I smiled and started to walk out of the room.
"Uh…Bella?"
I turned back to him. "Yes?"
"I love you."
I smiled, happy that he stuck with the promise he made to himself to tell me he love me before I left. It really warmed my heart, but it also made it that much harder for me to leave him half the time, and especially then. That nagging feeling seemed so natural since our last date, and it still stuck with me. I wanted it to go away so bad, but I decided to just ignore it.
"I love you, too." I said and blew him a kiss before leaving.
I went to my car and started out home. About two minutes into the five minute ride, I got a phone call. I answered it without looking who it was.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Bella!" It was Angela.
I smiled. "Hey, Ang! Wow I haven't talked to you in so long." I said sarcastically.
"I know right? It's been way too long." She said back.
I chuckled. "What's up, Ang?"
"Nothing much, I really just wanted to call you and tell you that me and Tanya have decided that we actually do like Edward."
My heart soared and I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
"Well, bitch, back off. He's mine." I said teasingly.
She laughed. "Oh you know I don't mean it that way. He's actually pretty cool and it's obvious that he loves you."
"Yeah, he does. He does have his share of problems, but he tries real hard as I'm sure you could tell."
"Well I wouldn't have guessed anything was really wrong with him so I guess he is doing well."
"He is and maybe we can all do something together again."
"Yeah! That would be fun!"
I pulled onto my street and yawned. Damn, I was already tired.
"So uh…me and Tanya were thinking,"
"About what?"
"Well…how do you feel about moving back in with us?"
"Uh…"
"Your mom called. She said she saw your apartment and said she was worried about you living there all by yourself, but that isn't why we are asking of course. We really do miss you around here."
Oh of course my mom would call them to tell them that my apartment sucked. I didn't know why it was her business, but what the fuck ever.
"Thanks for asking Angela, and it's nothing personal to you or Tanya, but I like my apartment and I like living on my own." I said firmly.
I didn't understand why everyone—well mainly my mother—thought that I needed to live with someone else to actually function and be happy. I lived on my own, but I still socialized with people and had an amazing boyfriend who supports my decision to live alone. It seemed his opinion only really mattered. He got me.
"Okay, that's fine. I knew you would say that, but I also promised your mom that I would ask, and you know how threatening she can be."
I laughed. "Yeah, I know. Well I will talk to you later, alright? I just got home and I have to get some work done."
"Alright, talk to you later, Bella." She said.
"Bye." I said and hung up the phone.
I got out of my car and headed for the door. When I got up to the porch, I got my keys out to open the front door. I saw something out of my peripheral vision and when I looked to my right, there was a black crow sitting on the railing. A crow is a sign of bad luck.
"Shoo! Shoo! Go away!" I said and waved my hand at it. It didn't move right away. It just kind of looked at me curiously before finally just flying away.
I shook my head free of the thoughts running through my head. Superstitions were stupid. I told that to Edward all the time so why was I starting to believe in them? The mud wasn't a bad sign. We had an amazing night that night. Although not too long after that Edward's parents were released…no.
Superstitions are wrong.
Once in my apartment, I started up my laptop and got my books from my room. I took my shoes off and changed into a pair of jogging pants and one of Edward's t-shirts Edward let me have. I tied it up at the bottom and then tied up my hair. Homework sucked, and doing homework while uncomfortable was terrible, so I had to at least have comfort on my side. I went back out to the living room with my phone and books and started doing some of the homework. It really started giving me a headache after about fifteen minutes, but I still had a whole night ahead of me.
After about twenty minutes, I heard my phone ringing from my side. I groaned as I was just getting into the zone. I reached over for the phone and looked to see who was calling. Edward. Damn, he would distract me so bad with his voice and I am sure he would make me laugh and I will be on the phone forever with him. How could he! Ugh…I wasn't really not complaining. I loved the guy.
I answered the phone and heard the heavy panting of the scared little girl on the other end of the line. As I registered who it was, it was then that her broken voice called out to me.
"Bella!"
"Alice? What's wrong, honey?"
I could hear a big bang in the background that was followed by some yelling. No. I would know that yell anywhere. I was already putting my homework down on the coffee table and going to find my shoes. I knew I shouldn't have left him.
"They came over, Bella." Alice whispered in a shaky voice.
Oh for fucks sake, shit! As soon as my shoes were on, I was out the door.
"Do you know what they wanted?" I was already in my car at this point. He only lived about five minutes away, but that wasn't quick enough. I didn't want him to hurt himself. I hated when he did that, even though I knew he couldn't really control it. I knew he was having an episode without even having to ask for confirmation. That yell said enough. That yell cut through me.
"They wanted me back, but I don't want to go Bella!" She said frantically and I could already tell she was crying.
"You don't have to go, Alice. I promise. Where are you?" I can't believe his parents actually showed up at his house! What the hell were they thinking?
"I am in my room with the door locked like you said."
"Okay, good girl." I panted out as I breathed a sigh of relief.
I knew Edward wouldn't intentionally hurt her, but he wasn't in his right mind. I mentally prepared myself on the way there for seeing the man I love so deeply, act so destructive. I wasn't used to him being so volatile. Sure he could get on my nerves every once in a while, and he could get in some seriously pissy moods, but he was a good man and he was my everything. I just wished I never had to see him act like he did while in that state of mind ever again.
"I am right outside; I will be up in a second okay?" Hurriedly I made my way out of the car.
"Okay." She said.
I opened the front door of the apartment building with the key I had. I ran up the stairs to the third floor and went to open the front door. It was locked, so I just used my key. I took a steadying breath when I saw the condition of the apartment. Oh God. Vases, picture frames, glasses, and lamps were broken on the floor. The couch and the coffee table were flipped over and I saw a speck of blood on the hardwood floors. He wasn't in the living room, so I ran to go find him, since I knew Alice would be safe, albeit a little scared, for the time being. I went to his room, and found him there. The standup mirror that was in there was now shattered all over the floor.
Edward was standing in front of it. His hands were bloody…his shoulders moving up and down with the deep breaths he was taking. He didn't know I was there; he was just looking at himself in what was left of the mirror. He pulled his fist back to strike it again, but I intervened.
"Edward, stop!" I yelled as I ran over to him.
He flinched away from me as soon as I put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched away so fast he lost his balance and fell against the wall.
After he looked at me his eyes filled with pain and embarrassment and of course the anger.
"Bella." He said, like I was a ghost.
I took a step towards him. "Baby…what did you do?" My voice cracked because I wished he never had to feel like this. He started to panic as I got closer to him, and he avoided my grasp and walked past me to the other side of the room. What happened to my Edward?
"Edward…please."
"Just fucking leave, Bella." He yelled and my chest burned.
"I am not going anywhere."
"Then you must be pretty fucking stupid then."
You would think him saying something like that would hurt me. Well it did, but it also comforted me in a sick and twisted way. It comforted me because I knew that when he said stuff like that, it wasn't my Edward. He was in there. But that's when he needed me the most, because he had no control. Maybe I had been doing too much research, but it comforted me to know there was hope for him.
"Come on, we need to clean up your hands." I said as I walked toward him again. I wasn't ever afraid of him even in this state…I love him.
"Just let me bleed." He said and moved away from me once again.
"Edward…stop." I said with more force and grabbed onto his arms.
He tried pushing me away, but I wasn't having it. I had him cornered against the wall, and I knew that I had won because even in this condition, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I put my hands up to either side of his face to get him to pay full attention to me. As my hands pressed against his sweating face I thanked God that I was able to touch him like this now. I remembered a time when he would flinch away at my touch and get so uncomfortable because he didn't know what affection was and how to accept it. My poor Edward.
I saw his anger slowly fade away as he stared into my eyes and I was glad I could have that effect on him. "They can't take her, Bella." His voice was laced with desperation.
"They won't, baby. They won't." I said and ran my hands down his face.
"I don't want her to turn out like me." His voice cracked at the last word and a tear fell from his eye.
Oh my heart.
I never saw him cry before and I didn't expect how much pain I would feel seeing him in so much pain that he was reduced to tears.
"She has to be better than me." He choked out.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me as he cried. He wrapped his arms around me, and leaned on me for support. He was probably getting blood all over my shirt, but I didn't care.
"Shh..." I said into his ear while rubbing his back. "There is nothing wrong with you, baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong."
His fingers dug into my back and I bit my lip to keep from making any sound of pain. I just kept trying to remember that the pain on my back meant little compared to the pain Edward probably felt in his heart at that moment. And then the pain was suddenly gone, and so was he. He let go of me and before I could even react, he ran right to the broken mirror again and smashed both of his fists into the broken glass.
"Ahh!" He screamed in pain and agony and I let out a scream myself.
He held his hands in front of him…the blood. So much blood. I didn't know what to do. I had never seen him this bad before in my life. He turned toward me his hands in front of him. He was looking down at them as the blood dripped to the floor, and then he looked up at me.
"I'm going to go kill them." He said.
"What?" I squeaked out. "No. No Edward, you need to calm down, baby."
"They came here! She put…she put her fucking dirty hands on Alice! My fucking baby sister!" He screamed. He was sweating and I could see the strain of his neck and the vein on his forehead. I was honestly afraid to go next to him. I didn't know what he would do.
"Edward…"I had an idea. I didn't know if it would work, but I needed to distract him in some way. I needed to get him in the spare room. I took a few steps toward him. "Baby, they're gone. You don't have to worry."
He put his hands in his hair. The blood was now everywhere and it added to the menacing image of my love.
"I need to get out of here." He said. He was about to turn, but I grabbed onto his arm. He growled deep within his chest, but he otherwise stopped.
"But you can't go right now."
"And why the fuck not?" He spit out.
I swallowed. "Because you haven't said bye to me or told me you loved me. Remember you promised yourself that?"
His face fell, but the fire and fury never left his eyes.
"I love you." He said and it felt so good to hear even though his voice wasn't the same. The voice he used didn't belong to my Edward, but I would take it. He turned again, but I pulled him back.
"Can you at least kiss me goodbye?" I asked.
He looked hesitant for a moment, but I couldn't wait. I pulled his face towards mine and his lips smashed against my own. He tasted of sweat and blood and tears and Edward. I kissed him deeper as a means of distraction and it seemed to be working. He put his arms around my waist and I could feel the little pieces of glass stuck in his hand. I pushed him back without him even realizing. Edward moaned and kissed me deeper. He bit onto my lip lightly and I moaned. I pushed him back some more…the room was only across the hall…the key above the door where Bev told me it was.
"I love you so fucking much." He said against my mouth before he started kissing me again.
I felt a tear fall from my eye and I kissed him back. I didn't like that this kiss, a kiss that was filled with passion and want, had to happen under such circumstances. It wasn't fair.
We made it into the room. I pulled him closer for the final kiss. I hated that I would have to lock him up like he was an animal. That wasn't him. He brought his lips to my neck and I had to hold back my sobs. I put my hands on his shoulders and kissed the top of his head repeatedly.
"I love you so much, Edward. I'm sorry." I said and then I pushed on his shoulders until he pulled away, and when he did, I pushed again until he fell back onto the floor. I needed time to run. I turned away from him and ran out of the room.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He yelled and tried to get up. He yelled when he put pressure on his hands. I ran out, grabbed the key and slammed the door shut. I closed the door and put the key in the lock with a shaking hand. "Bella!" He screamed and started banging on the door. "How could you do this to me?" He yelled. "Bella!"
My knees gave out, but I caught myself before I fell and I covered my ears. I dropped the key on the floor. I had to get Alice.
I ran to her room. I tried to open the door, but it was locked.
"Alice! It's me! Open the door!" I said.
I heard her little footsteps. She opened the door. She had tears falling down her face and she also had a hard time keeping herself up. I would help her. I could hold it together. I lifted her in my arms and she wrapped her arms and legs around me. Her body shook…the pain within her radiated throughout me. I tried to ignore Edward's screamed. I ran with Alice to the door. I grabbed my keys off the floor and closed and locked Edward's house door.
I went to Bev's apartment and sorted through my keys frantically trying to find the right key. When I had it, I put it inside the lock. I opened it and then closed her door. I ran with Alice to the room with the closet.
The closet where we can pretend.
I opened the door and sat down on the floor and there was silence. No Edward screaming for me to help him and asking me how I could have locked him up like an animal. All I heard were my ragged breaths and Alice's sobs and whimpers.
"Hey, hey. It's okay, honey. Take deep breaths." I said. I ran my hand through her sweating hair.
"He-he…" She said.
"Shhh…just calm down, beautiful." I said. And she tried. She stopped crying, but her body still shook.
"Bella?" She said in a raspy voice.
"What, honey?"
"Can we pretend please?"
I held her closer and kissed the top of her head. Tears fell from my eyes and I nodded my head.
"Yeah." My voice squeaked. "Let's pretend."
"Ecy's at work." She said.
I kissed her head repeatedly. I couldn't even comprehend what she must have been feeling.
"He called earlier, said he might be a little late." I said in my most composed voice I could muster.
She nodded and continued in her sweet, innocent, but completely broken voice.
"Ecy called me and told me he loved me…he said that he would cook me some calzones…he said he couldn't wait to see me…he will be home soon…really soon…"
I won't ever be too far away to feel you
And I won't hesitate at all
Whenever you call
And I'll always remember
The part of you so tender
I'll be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call
And I will breathe for you each day
Comfort you through all the pain
Gently kiss your fears away
You can turn to me and cry
Always understand that I
Give you all I have inside
Whenever You Call, by Brian McKnight ft. Mariah Carey
And now's the part where I take a nice deep breath. Honestly, this chapter took a lot out of me. I had it in my head since the beginning but actually getting it out was harder than I thought. I hope you all liked it because…yeah…that was hard.
I'm sorry I didn't do review replies, but if I did, this chapter wouldn't have been out until tomorrow. I will try for the next one, but again, you probably all just want a fast update right? haha
Thanks again to Alexa for pre-reading for me in such a quick amount of time between her real-life and ogling of Winston Marshall from Mumford & Sons. Yup, I just revealed your secret! Hahaha I still love you though! lol (it's not really a secret lol)
I'll just be here writing the next chapter! I just want to say thank you to everyone for reviews! I swear when I hit 900 I will probably do a happy dance (I'm a horrible dancer btw)
Review please!