A/N: To answer the question of a mysterious reviewer - YES. A happy Hamgelica fic is in the works, inspired by my road trip. It will most likely not be so angsty and may be a nice break from all of this drama. In the meantime, enjoy all of this drama!
Johnny was wolfing down his breakfast as quickly as could be managed without risking choking when the doorbell rang.
"That's Uncle Alex!" Johnny proclaimed gleefully, his mouth full of food. He leapt out of his chair, sending his napkin tumbling down onto the floor.
"Daddy!" Baby and Junior chorused, abandoning their own breakfasts to follow Johnny to the front door.
"Are you sure that you wouldn't rather me go?" Church asked for the umpteenth time, trailing after the miniature stampede that the kids had created. Angelica and Eliza exchanged amused glances before joining everyone in the foyer.
"Yeah, Dad," Johnny replied, shrugging on his coat and grabbing his backpack off of the floor. "I never get to see Uncle Alex. Besides, I know that we're not really looking at Columbia for me, but this is where Philip wants to go to school. It'll be cool to see the dorms he's living in and stuff."
"Don't rule it out just because your father thinks you could do better," Angelica ordered Johnny with a small smile, opening the front door. "He skipped college altogether - Columbia is better than nothing."
"I think it's a little better than that," Alexander commanded Angelica's attention with that playful voice of his. She turned to look at him with reluctance - she hadn't seen him since Christmas, when she'd gone with Eliza to drop the kids off for the day. She made it a point not to see him. This was why.
After everything he'd done to her - to both her and Eliza - he still looked like her Alexander; the constantly amused, fiercely intelligent, infuriatingly handsome boy that she'd met in high school. The guy she'd still loved in college. The man she had risked her marriage for.
"Hi, Alexander." Church greeted him with his usual stiffness.
"Hey, Church." Alexander smiled cheerfully, pretending that this exchange wasn't awkward for anyone. He looked to Eliza - always Eliza - his expression softening. "Hey, Betsey."
Eliza nodded, swallowing hard instead of saying anything.
"Last chance to ask your cool mom to tag along with you," Angelica tried to lighten the mood.
She grinned at Johnny, who looked as though he was actually considering the offer. He rarely turned down an opportunity to spend time with Angelica. He was a good kid.
Philip shook his head and punched Johnny's shoulder, dissuading him from accepting Angelica's offer. "Come on, man. We see your mom every day."
"Lucky boys." Alexander tried to joke, smiling at Angelica hopefully.
Angelica cracked an indulgent smile before looking at Johnny.
"You can come if you want," Johnny told her, glancing at Philip anxiously. "I mean, we wouldn't mind. It's just that…I mean, I don't see Uncle Alex all that much, and…"
"You can just say it - I'm the cool uncle." Alexander teased Johnny, ruffling his hair.
"It's hard not to be," Angelica snarked, folding her arms across her chest. "You're competing with my brother - who seems to have fallen off of the face of the Earth since the wedding."
"I'll take whatever wins I can get," Alexander was unbothered by this playful banter. In fact, he seemed encouraged by it. "You ready to go, guys?"
"Make sure he eats dinner," Eliza finally spoke up, looking at Philip and very obviously not looking at Alexander. "He always forgets to eat dinner."
He was just like Alexander in that way.
"I will," Alexander promised.
"And don't let him watch that awful TV show that he likes," Eliza shook her head, her eyes flickering down to the ground. "At least not until he finishes all of his homework."
"I'm good with no TV," Alexander agreed. "I never watch it, anyway. Might do him some good to read a book instead."
"I don't have a book to read, Pop."
"We'll stop at a bookstore on the way."
"And have him back in time to study for his physics exam." Eliza didn't seem to want to let Philip go.
"Sure." Alexander seemed ready to agree to sell his soul if it meant getting to spend the weekend with his son.
"What's your favorite color?" Junior interrupted the proceedings. Every time he saw Alexander, he had a question prepared for him. As he had not grown up with Alexander around, he regarded him as a distant relative whom he did not know very well. But kids at school were always exchanging questions about their fathers and Junior never had enough information to participate.
Recognizing that this was another one of Junior's introductory question, Alexander's expression saddened just a bit. He knelt down to Junior's height.
"My favorite color is green," He answered softly, taking one of Junior's hands in his and examining it. He looked up again, forcing himself to smile. "What's yours?"
"It's green, too!" Junior seemed delighted by this consequence.
Everyone else was pretending that it wasn't terribly tragic that Alexander did not know his own son's favorite color.
"Is that right?" Alexander smiled at Junior fondly. "Did you know that your room was green when you were just a baby? Your mom made me paint it a more neutral color because she thought the green color was keeping you up at night."
"Huh?" Junior looked at Eliza. Eliza just smiled at him.
"You've gotten so big, kiddo." Alexander didn't worry about whether or not Junior understood his story. At some level, everyone accepted that this conversation was mostly for Alexander's benefit. "When did you get this tall? Soon you're going to be like your brother - taller than both of your parents."
"I want to be even taller than Philip," Junior grinned at Philip.
"Pop, we should go," Philip looked at Eliza uncertainly. It was plain to see that seeing Alexander was still hard for her. "We've got a long drive to go, and traffic is only going to get worse."
"I'll call you when we get there," Johnny added, nodding to Church reassuringly.
"You better," Church smiled slightly. "I'll be sending you pictures of Yale every hour on the hour."
"Stop," Angelica nudged Church with her elbow before moving forward to hug Johnny. She couldn't remember the last time that she had hugged him. "Don't be afraid to love Columbia, okay? And please behave for your Uncle Alex; make sure that Uncle Alex and Philip behave, too."
"Okay, Mom." Johnny smiled.
"Alright, gentlemen," Alexander said loftily, gesturing towards his oversized SUV. Angelica could see that the trunk was already packed with his bags. "Off to Columbia we go!"
Rewind
Angelica was six months pregnant when Alexander brought her to a party at Mount Vernon. Both George and Martha had been over the moon when they heard about the pregnancy; they didn't know that the baby was Church's. Angelica and Alexander had agreed to keep that detail under wraps. As they saw it, it wasn't anyone's business.
Alexander was telling Martha about the wallpaper book he'd been flipping through - he had placed himself in charge of designing the baby's nursery - when John Church was led into the room by one of the caterers that George had hired. Angelica noticed first. Her face reddened and she jumped into the conversation with unusual interest. It was to no avail. She felt Alexander's hand on her back tighten just seconds later. He'd seen Church, too.
"Oh, there's John." Martha noticed Church's presence, too, but didn't know that she shouldn't be excited about it. "John, over here!" She turned to smile at Angelica conspiratorially. "You must miss him terribly. It seemed like you two were so close when you worked for him."
If Alexander clenched his jaw any more, he would need to see a dentist the next day.
"Martha, hi," Church walked over with an awkward smile. He looked at Angelica and Alexander uncomfortably. When his eyes fell on Angelica's baby bump, they widened. "Oh, uh, Angelica…"
"Hi, Church." Angelica's voice was soft, pleading. She didn't want him to ask questions. She wanted him to have the decency to pretend that he didn't know what was going on.
"Hi," Church obliged. "You look beautiful."
Alexander watched with clenched fist and a tight jaw as Church kissed Angelica's cheek and congratulated her on her pregnancy.
"Excuse me," Eliza blessedly broke up the interaction. She'd come to Mount Vernon from Delaware to attend George's party. Angelica was glad for her presence. She wasn't sure how she would make it through the party without her. "Do you mind if I steal Angelica away from you all for a little bit? I'm online shopping for baby clothes and want to get some input before I go overboard."
"You've already gone overboard, I'm sure." Angelica teased, gently pulling at a ringlet that had fallen out of Eliza's ponytail. She glanced back at Alexander with an apologetic smile. "Excuse me."
Alexander nodded before turning back to Martha and Church. Angelica sucked in a relieved breath as she followed Eliza into the abandoned card room.
"Why did Alexander look so angry with John?" Eliza asked quietly, leading Angelica over to one of the uncomfortable couches that Martha had purchased from some Italian importer. "I thought that you left your job on good terms?"
"Um," Angelica looked around the room to make sure that it was really empty. "Things with Church and I got…complicated."
"Angelica," Eliza was savvy enough to know what that meant. "You didn't."
"I did," Angelica grimaced.
"And Alexander knows?" Eliza leaned forward, her voice barely rising above a whisper.
Angelica nodded, swallowing hard. "I had to tell him because…well, the baby isn't exactly Alex's."
Eliza's eyes widened. "It's Church's?"
"He doesn't know," Angelica said, as though that justified it. "And it was only one time. Neither of us really meant for it to happen, we just…things got a little bit out of hand. But Alex and I are fine. We talked through it, and it's going to be okay. We just -"
Both Angelica and Eliza jumped at the sound of a chair scraping against the hardwood floor. They whipped around and saw Aaron Burr standing in the doorway, leaning against the back of one of the chairs by the card table.
Angelica froze. She hadn't spoken to Aaron very much since leaving Church's business. She didn't know if he was still loyal to her and Alexander, especially now that Thomas was on the political rise. If he leaked this story, he would gain political capital, but Alexander's career would be over.
"Aaron," She didn't quite know what to say to him.
"Angelica," Aaron's expression didn't betray his intentions. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Excuse me."
He turned and disappeared before either Angelica or Eliza could say another word. Angelica turned to look at Eliza in horror. Eliza looked back at Angelica sympathetically.
"I need to talk to Alex," Angelica decided, jumping up from the couch and hurrying out of the card room. Eliza would find someone else to talk to at a party. This was a far more pressing issue.
"There you are," Alexander grinned when Angelica rejoined him in the ballroom. He placed a hand on the small of her back, as though he had the compulsive need to touch her whenever she was near. "I was starting to think that Eliza had taken you all for herself."
"Yeah," Angelica smiled weakly, aware that people surrounding them were watching her closely. "Could I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure," Alexander didn't sense that anything was wrong. He allowed Angelica to grab his hand and lead him outside of the house and towards the Potomac down the hill from the mansion.
"I told Eliza about the baby," Angelica explained as they began to walk down the dirt path towards the woods. "And, you know, about Church."
Alexander's jaw tightened. "Why?"
"She's my sister," Angelica replied firmly. "I tell her everything."
Alexander nodded, keeping his eyes fixed ahead of them. "Is that all?"
"No," Angelica looked around at the shadowy figure that the trees created. "When I finished telling her, I noticed that Aaron was in the room."
"Burr?" Alexander stopped dead in his tracks. "Burr was there? How much of it did he hear?"
"I don't know," Angelica answered helplessly. "I didn't see him when we started talking, but I was so absorbed in talking to her that I -"
"Angelica, he could ruin me with that story," Alexander's voice caused a swarm of bats to fly off in the other direction. "My position is already on shaky ground - Jefferson mentions firing me to Adams at least once a day. If this gets out, my career will be over. Adams will fire me and I'll be a political pariah."
"I'll take care of it." Angelica conveyed more confidence than she really felt. "I'll meet with him tomorrow and make sure that it doesn't get out."
Alexander nodded, his jaw still tense. "Good. You think he'll listen to you?"
"We never heard from James Reynolds again, did we?" Angelica reminded him, tightening her grip on Alexander's hand. "It's under control."
Alexander nodded, not looking at her.
"This is a nice surprise," Aaron looked Angelica over as she sat on the couch across from the one he was sitting on, a small smile playing on his lips. Angelica couldn't read the intent behind his eyes. "It's been a while since we've spoken last."
"Cut the shit, Aaron, you know why I'm here." Angelica didn't want to get drawn into whatever game it was that Aaron was playing.
Aaron raised an eyebrow, his mouth curving into a smirk. "Tsk, tsk. I thought that you knew how to play this game. You're supposed to make small talk with me first. You could ask me about my love life, make a few shaded remarks…"
"Are you going to leak the story or not?" Angelica wasn't listening to Aaron.
Aaron cocked his head to the side. "Do you want me to?"
"Of course I don't."
"What are you prepared to do to stop me?" Aaron inquired, his voice soft and deadly.
Angelica glowered at him. "What do you want?"
"I don't know," Aaron admitted, shrugging. "I'd like to see what I can get from you before settling on anything in particular."
"What if I threatened to ruin your career first?" It was a hollow threat. She had tried hard, but couldn't find a single piece of dirt on Aaron. He was always careful to remove his fingerprints from any unpopular or failing political operations. "No one wants to listen to a disgraced politician. They're so desperate - they'd say anything to claw their way back to the top."
"How are you going to ruin me?" Aaron asked calmly. He knew that Angelica was lying.
Angelica's face reddened. "I know people."
"Okay," Aaron used a tone that most people used with children when they got themselves into a bind. "Angelica, you know that I like you and Alexander. That said, I'm in a tough spot here. John fired me when he found out I was sleeping with his wife - understandable, but still a massive inconvenience - and Theodosia died before she could connect me with any of her contacts."
"Church's wife is dead?" Angelica hadn't heard this.
Aaron's eyes narrowed. He snapped his fingers, redirecting Angelica's attention. She did not like that shit at all. "If I'm going to sit on a story like this - something that could help my career colassally - I'm going to need to get something of value out of it. It's nothing personal, just business."
Angelica wracked her mind for something - anything - that she could offer Aaron. Alexander didn't have the political pull to offer him a position in the Adams administration. As it was, he was calling in all of his favors to make sure he kept his own job during the Adams administration. Almost all of Angelica's contacts were being ushered into irrelevancy with George's departure from the White House as well.
The best thing that either of them could offer Aaron career-wise was advice and possibly a position on a county council campaign.
Angelica's heart was hammering in her chest. She had to think of something, or Alexander would be ruined. His entire career would be over, just like that. Everything that they had worked for, suffered for, fought for…gone.
"Ow," Angelica cringed as she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. Most likely a consequence of the sandwich she'd had on the car ride over to Aaron's house.
"I think that we're done here." Aaron was looking at Angelica piteously, like she had already lost this game of cat and mouse. "I'll do my best to help you when my own position is more secure, but in the meantime…"
Angelica stood up to argue with him but buckled back into her seat as her stomach pain surged forth again. This time, it hurt. Really, really hurt.
"Oh, my god," She groaned, hunching over in her chair.
"What is this?" Aaron asked dispassionately. "Are you really using the pregnancy card to get you out of trouble? Angelica, that won't -"
He trailed off, his voice lilting with sudden panic. Angelica looked up at him desperately, searching his face for the cause of the shift in tone. He was looking down at her lap, at her chair. She followed his eyes and immediately saw the source of his reaction. Blood was soaking through her brand new dress onto Aaron's chair.
"Hospital," Aaron was speaking without direction. "We need to go to the hospital. Should I drive you, or um…"
"Call 911!" Angelica demanded, looking up at him like he was stupid. "Hurry up!"
This couldn't be happening. This could not be happening. Angelica actually wanted this baby. She and Alexander had already decorated the nursery, picked out a few possible names, bought an entire wardrobe of baby clothes, planned out their newborn photoshoot…she could not lose this one, too. It would be the end of her marriage. The end of her.
"Hello, 911?" Aaron's voice seemed distant; like he was standing in another room altogether. Angelica's vision was growing fuzzy. "Yeah, could you please send an ambulance to 1507 West Oliver? Yeah, uh, my friend is pregnant and I think that she might -"
Angelica stared at the wall, not seeing anything in particular. She could only hear the faint buzzing of the hospital's cheap light bulbs. They burned her when she looked directly at them.
The baby was gone.
The nurse's all wore stainless scrubs and sympathetic smiles. They had called her 'mom' when she had entered the hospital, but now they just called her Mrs. Hamilton. Angelica wished they would still call her 'mom'.
There were IVs in her arm. Angelica didn't know why they had put them there. She hadn't asked. She had allowed them to poke and prod her like she was nothing more than cattle. She didn't see the point in asking questions.
Alexander burst through the door, his face flushed and his eyes red. There was gum on his shoes. Alexander never had gum on his shoes. He must have run through the city, desperate to make it to the hospital in time. Like he was missing some cherished event; a birthday party.
A baby girl with eyes just like her mother's.
"Annie," He said, his voice cracking on the last syllable. How strange it was, that Alexander was always the first to say something in these situations. It was never the right thing. It was just something he sent knocking around the universe, crashing through the walls built against him.
"Don't yell at me," Angelica said. She was surprised by how flat her own voice sounded. How even. She no longer sounded like the living, breathing person who had screamed and cried into Aaron Burr's chest half an hour ago. How full of life that abstract version of herself seemed. Red cheeks, crystal tears, and dark hair. Now she was just gray. "It wasn't my fault."
Alexander crossed the room, towards her. Angelica was too tired to brace herself. She watched blankly as he climbed onto the physician room bench. He pulled her closer to him. She fell into him like a rag doll. Angelica only reacquainted herself with reality when she felt Alexander's tears dampen her hair.