Stark Reality: Catalyst

Thunder sounded over her music, her attention wandering away from the words on her phone. The train's motion, the dark clouds gathering overhead, and her semi-boredom of sitting in place threatened to put her to bed. Trains were boring, especially when confined on one for over twenty-four hours. Next, they would be on a long airship ride over an empty ocean. At least that would be from this century. This ancient train could rival the decaying transport in rural Anchi. Only good thing about it was it offered some privacy, she supposed.

Lanfen glanced at Chrollo, seeing if he could provide her with some easy entertainment. As statuesque as ever, hand under his chin, his gaze was out the window and on the intensifying storm. The storm system formerly preventing them from reaching Anchi had finally moved inland; by the time they reached the coast, give or take a day, the weather would be cleared enough for airship travel. His two books sat abandoned on the seat next to him. He seemed adequately bored, so maybe they could entertain each other.

She pulled an earphone out, drawing his attention. "Why don't you save books onto your phone?" He insisted on physical copies, even if that limited how many he could drag along with him. "I mean, not everything you read is an ancient tome." The exasperated look when he had admitted the book Sybil had when Lanfen had taken the exam had been his target, that Sybil had stolen it first, it'd made her smile. Which, interestingly, made him give a small smile in return.

The aquarium, whatever the hell happened, it had changed their dynamic again. Seeing him search for an explanation only to admit he didn't have one, for him to waste an opportunity to manipulate her with pretty words to instead hold her hand, silently comfort her, that hadn't been a lie. No matter how many times she thought about it, she couldn't convince herself it was a lie, or an act, or some bizarre prank. She trusted it was just an odd moment of understanding shared between two strange people doubting their own humanity.

"I like the tangible aspects," he answered, accepting a distraction from complete boredom, "the smell of ink and paper, the feel of turning pages." A poetic Chrollo answer. "Also, Meteor City wouldn't be very accommodating for that. Shal, despite his efforts to improve it, still complains about the spotty connectivity and sluggish download speed. Electricity itself is a precious commodity."

The conversation found a dead end, Lanfen falling quiet. Chrollo, she tended to forget he literally grew up in a trash pile. He always presented himself as refined in appearance and manner, after all. She wanted to ask what it was like, living there. She wanted to know more about him in general, really. About the Troupe he so adored, too.

The Phantom Troupe… Machi said she had gathered a few of the others, though she neglected mentioning who specifically. She probably didn't expect her to know any of them by name. They were heading to Anchi in a few days, too, staying in Kou-Ang until someone found the Fan Shi's base. Shalnark seemed to be their technology nerd considering what Chrollo had mentioned of him. Machi said he had been searching the net for leads but, because they were also busy searching this Greed Island game for an exorcist, he hadn't found anything solid yet. The exorcist came first, and, truthfully, she couldn't blame them for prioritizing Chrollo. He was their friend as much as their leader.

"Lanfen." He had her immediate attention. For some reason, she didn't hate him saying her name, her entire first name, anymore. Such a nice voice. Always so calm, she wanted to hear it break. With pleasure, or even with anger, or anything more than controlled emotion. "May I borrow your phone to read?"

"I'm listening to music," she asserted, though she clicked through the settings, disabling text and call notifications. If Machi happened to text while he had it… She didn't want that. A few weeks ago, without threatening consequences, and she wouldn't have cared. That had changed. She liked him enough to want him alive. She also happened to need a nap, sexual, if a bit violent, thoughts considered.

"Perhaps we could compromise." He shifted, draping his arm across the back of his seat. "Come sit with me?" he asked oh-so-innocently while his eyes said otherwise.

"Sit with you and share, huh?" She raised an eyebrow. The seat could fit two people. If necessary. With the sacrifice of personal space. They would be very close. She knew that. He knew that. Yet, he was still inviting her next to him, suspect arm over the back of the seat… Nemmi screeched, shuffling beside her as he sensed curiosity rather than revulsion. "You going to poke around my phone again?" she jokingly asked, still deciding.

"Just your reading library."

She rolled her eyes, hiding a smile behind her hair as she stood to comply with an odd request. He could poke through her phone if he wanted; whatever he found couldn't actually harm her. A dozen downloaded romance novels, she didn't care if he saw them. He already knew she was embarrassing. She was much more interested in calling a possible bluff.

Nemmi glowered as he settled down in his new nest made from their belongings, keeping a watchful eye on Chrollo from her former seat. Lan carefully sat down next to Chrollo, heat creeping across her skin. He never moved his arm, and, even though he didn't rest it over her shoulders, kept to the back of the seat… Only a fractional distance apart, their legs almost touching…

Lan dared to glance at him. Neither of them broke eye contact. In one ear she heard the blare of her music, the other her pounding heart. She parted her lips to say something, witty or flirty remark refusing to form. Instead of grabbing her phone while she stared, stared at the way muted light reflected in grey eyes, at the curve of his lips with a subdued smile, his fingers gently brushed over her cheek. Coherent thought hazed over, hyper-analysis of why or what-if disappearing as he leaned forward, as the hand cupping her cheek urged her to meet him halfway.

His lips pressed to hers softly. She let her eyes flutter closed, moved her mouth against his. Somehow a quiet moan slipped past her lips as he tilted her chin more, as his hand went to the back of her head to hold her closer and deepen the kiss. She dropped her phone to reach for him, fingertips ghosting over his chest before she sneaked her arms over his shoulders, pulled herself closer, played with his soft hair. A contented hum and he wrapped his other arm around her waist, held her as they kissed.

Chrollo's lips left hers much too soon, oxygen be damned. For a moment, his forehead rested against hers, dark eyes beautiful, conflicted. He slowly pulled away. Her hands lingered on his shoulders before she reluctantly released him, her arms at her side, missing the warmth, the affection.

Why stop here? She didn't understand. If he was bored, wasn't this a worthwhile distraction? Stopping after a single, rather blissful kiss…

She wanted more of him. Even if she rationally knew here and now wouldn't be ideal, that making out would make her want him more, she still wanted more because… Because his kiss felt so… Contradictory. Soft. Gentle. Warm. All from the lips of the devil. From someone often ruthless and cold. Stirring passion but not anxiety, she wanted a reason why.

Aching silence broke with a chorus of rolling thunder, of rain pelting the window. Another song started playing in her earphone, a reminder. Lanfen snapped out of her transfixed stare, eyes escaping the breathtaking abyss she allowed herself to be pulled into. Chrollo looked away at the same time, her movement snapping him out of his own thoughts. They stared forward, seemingly equally lost with what was supposed to follow.

Lanfen eventually tugged at her earphones to find her phone, to make a decision for both of them. Moving her hand gained his attention. He stared at her phone as she still offered it to him, as she still listened to music with no intention of moving. A silent wish to go back. To pretend it didn't happen if it had been a mistake, a lie gone too far. To ignore how she felt about it whether it was a lie or, terrifyingly, not.

He refused that wish. After accepting her phone, he slid his arm onto the back of the seat, gauging her reaction. She hesitated. He would let her reject the contact, escape the situation, so long as she didn't reject reality until she found a way to blame him entirely. The kiss wasn't forced on her. It was very much a shared act they were both responsible for.

Lanfen decided to play in fantasy land instead of reality.

She leaned forward enough for him to slip his arm behind her, for him rest it on her shoulders while bringing her closer to his side. He could pretend she had accepted what happened. Being held felt nice. She'd hide in the oblivion of affection for a little longer before returning to reality to decide how big of a mistake she had once again made by believing a liar.

She somehow distracted him in her sleep, pulling his attention away from her phone. (She had an eclectic collection, like he thought she would, ranging from sappy romances to adventure fantasies to historical fiction to scientific journals, with most things between.)

Lanfen had nodded off ten minutes ago, her head now slipping to rest on his shoulder as she unknowingly cuddled up to him. Chrollo shifted his arm, his fingers brushing her shoulder before he rested his hand on her arm to keep her from falling over completely. With his other hand, he carefully moved away a lock of hair tickling her nose. She was the type to stay awake until she collapsed in utter exhaustion. Best to not wake her.

Ripping fabric on the seat across from him, Nemmi warned him to stop pestering her. At some point, it had been a real crow, this a Nen rendition Lanfen had created from memories to deny its presumed demise. He could find no other reason for its distinct personality, for its near complete independence from her conscious mind, nor for the way they interacted (bickered). A needlessly complex ability just to recreate a dead bird, Nemmi must have meant the world to her. Even if just a subconscious extension of herself now, she trusted her memory of the bird to protect her from harm.

And Nemmi was positive Chrollo meant her harm. She thought he meant her harm.

That would have been correct a few days ago, but Chrollo suddenly found himself debating what he actually wanted with her. How he chose to manipulate her, with honest dishonesty and honest truth, had backfired on him. He had given himself a reason to get to know her personally. The few people he bothered getting to know like this, they were all a part of the Spider. The few people he was regularly honest with were Spiders. He may have prematurely started placing Lanfen into that same category.

Why did he kiss her? It had been an impulsive act to give in to, no matter if he had entertained the idea a few times beforehand. But, still, the answer was simple.

This had escalated beyond duty and physical attraction.

Her company, her contradictory nature, he enjoyed them. Odd yet normal. Inhuman but human. Kind yet cruel. He could see a faint reflection of himself in her, and that fascinated him. She was entirely wasted on someone that'd kill her for a momentary battle high. With more experience and some guidance, she could be deadly, but, right now, she would already be an exceptional partner. Spider. Both. He wanted both. But could he have her as both?

It might not be hyperbolic to say he was married to his work. The Spider came first. Always. Regardless of harm to himself. He had never bothered with taking lovers, emotionally investing in a relationship outside of the Spider unnecessary and, at worst, potentially harmful to the Spider. At most, he slept with people he found momentarily interesting before moving on as the fascination faded- just as he did with his stolen treasures. Before this curse, he never had a reason to make friends outside of the Spider. They were all he needed. Both would be complicated, likely to somehow interfere with the Spider. By his own logic and decree, the Spider came first, Lanfen be damned, the enjoyment he got from her also be damned. The Spider should be all he needed. He should be content with them alone, so why was he so fixated on finding a way to include her in his together?

He didn't want to think about this.

So, he wouldn't. He would simply allow fate to go to work as he enjoyed his vacation. After all, agonizing over something with a number of outcomes wouldn't do him any good. Not at this stage.

Instead, to distract himself, he returned to reading, unknowingly holding her closer.

More incessant tearing twenty minutes later, a flicker of movement in the corner of his eye, Chrollo turned his attention away from Lanfen's phone. Nemmi had picked open his bag to expose the corner of the game console. The bird's reaction, the renewed focus on the console, made Chrollo tense.

This… This was an incredibly unpleasant surprise. Potentially catastrophic, actually.

A blinding light and it was already too late to shove Lanfen away.

In a flash of light and a rush of Nen, the scenery warped, sending Hisoka wherever Chrollo had stashed the console. He stood in a confined space. Moving relatively fast, the rattling floor sent vibrations through his feet, up his legs. A train.

He cast his eyes down. His smile faltered. Appalling. No, revolting.

Lan. His Lan… Chrollo sat with his arm around her shoulders, with her head resting against his chest as she comfortably slept, blissfully oblivious. The sight of them together… His forced grin became anything but amicable.

Tearing fabric. A shift in the air. He spun around, fingers latching onto the invisible creature prepared to tear him apart. He held on, Nen over his hand to protect him from sharpened aura as the bird flailed. Her Nen was as potent as ever, even while passed out in someone else's arms. It took every ounce of his self-control to not crush the bird entirely, to not let his bloodlust surge. Accidentally killing Chrollo over Lan would be a gigantic waste. But almost tempting, currently.

He sat down across from them, bird still struggling in his hand. Lan began to stir, undoubtedly sensing traces of anger-tinged bloodlust and the distress of her pet.

Chrollo struck an already raw nerve, calmly taking out Lan's earphone, pushing her phone into her hand while whispering her name to finish waking her. His stomach twisted at how comfortable they were together. Lan would have never fallen asleep with him next to her. What had Chrollo done to her to make her so docile?

Hisoka leaned forward.

Lan's eyes fluttered open. Pure terror, she sucked in a sharp breath, shrinking into Chrollo's side for protection as her fingers gripped his shirt. A second passed, and she shoved Chrollo away as well. She crammed herself into the corner of the seat to get as physically far away from them as she could in the small space. While she reacted with fear towards him, the hurt expression she aimed at Chrollo… Of course. His naïve little fledgling needed to stop trusting people. He thought he had already taught her that. Ungrateful girl would get herself killed if she kept doing this…

Hisoka clenched his jaw. She never slept with him, but she chose to fuck Chrollo the second he's gone for a few weeks? Oh, no, this probably wasn't Lan's doing. Not entirely. Chrollo had instigated this- and he really couldn't fault her for taking the opportunity. Had she at least considered that their little fling was just petty revenge? Her hurt expression said otherwise. Foolish girl couldn't be left on her own it seemed.

"Let go of Nemmi," she commanded, the anger in her voice, in caramel eyes… Much better. This was his Lan.

Hisoka stood once more, cheerfully declaring, "Gladly." He released the bird from his grip.

Before the two had the sense to react, he spun around to plop on the seat between them- or really, on them- his arms over their shoulders. The edge of a card pressed into Chrollo's throat. A sideways glance at Lan, like he was silently ordering her to do something… A drop of blood ran down his neck when Hisoka pressed just a bit too hard- so disappointingly satisfying. Lan's adorable glare at the superficial wound annoyed him. The anger sparking in her abnormally controlled aura irritated him. Regardless, Hisoka smiled at her. They all knew he wouldn't actually kill Chrollo. Making them uncomfortable was his equally petty revenge. Just his way of telling Chrollo he knew exactly what he was up to with his fledgling, even if she didn't.

"Dramatic bastard," Lan growled under her breath, nails digging into the flesh of his wrist with enough bite to leave marks. He loved it. She threw his arm off of her as she stood, willingly moving to the other seat without further convincing. Good girl.

Hisoka released Chrollo to follow after her. He caught her by the upper arm, tugging her into him. A shove to his chest as he dropped her arm to reach for her face and a half-step back, she turned her body, drew back her arm-

Blood dripped down his chin.

A second passed as he tried to process it. Lan, his darling Lan, had punched him. Punched him hard enough that he now looked to the side. Without adding aura to her fist, even. His tongue caught blood as he ran it over his split lip, humming, fighting another wave of bloodlust- or maybe just lust. Oh, Lan, he had forgotten how much he adored her. How much he wanted her. Yet, if she wouldn't allow him to kiss her in front of Chrollo, he doubted she'd let him fuck her in front of him. He'd settle, then. For her.

She lowered her arm, glare burning even as she nervously bit her lip. Her knuckles bled, sliced open from his teeth. Despite that look, the injury, she allowed him to pull her into his lap as he sat down. Misbehaved girl knew she could only get away with so much. She leaned away as he rested his chin on her shoulder, shifted as he wrapped his arms around her waist to cage her against his chest. Chrollo's indifference egged Hisoka on. Lan could see exactly how much Chrollo cared about her.

"Why are you here?" she demanded, grabbing his hand, forcing it away from her chest.

"Chrollo enlisted my help in finding an exorcist in Greed Island." A grin cracked the blood drying to his mouth. "Did he neglect mentioning that little fact?" he teasingly whispered, lips brushing her ear, his eyes on Chrollo as he disrupted whatever he had in store for his fledgling.

"He did." So cold, her icy glare aimed at Chrollo, she understood now. This moment crushed whatever foolish fantasies she had about Chrollo. He figured she wasn't vindictive enough to run to Chrollo over their squabble in Yorknew. No, she was too sweet, too petty and prideful, to do that. Silly girl just got caught up in the pretty lies Chrollo spun. He was charming, Hisoka would admit. He would forgive her if she begged. Chrollo, not so much. He'd savor their fight even more now.

"Were you bored of searching?" Chrollo asked, flawlessly ignoring Lan. Hisoka hummed, catching an undertone in the question. "You're a day early."

"Am I?" He must have been dying of boredom to show up somewhere early. Greed Island might also, simply, be in a different time zone. No wonder he caught them like this. Chrollo had probably planned to meet him in secret so he could continue seducing Lan. Hisoka was by no means a fool. He pulled Lan flush against his chest. He bet Chrollo had wanted to dangle Lan just out of his reach, perhaps attempt to use her as bait to a trap if he posed too much of a threat to the Troupe; fighting him personally would be giving him what he wanted, after all. Chrollo had to be upset about Yorknew, about his beloved Spiders' deaths. "Silly me, I must have lost count of the days." He smiled brightly as Lan squirmed to pull away, not pleased to have a boner pressed into her backside- he just couldn't help it after she so boldly punched him.

"There is an exorcist in the game… somewhere." Some drama about some boring 'Bomber.' Hisoka couldn't be bothered to care. It didn't sound interesting. "He can't hide from us forever," he hinted. The Bomber couldn't be the only one wiping out players. Feitan and Phinks, in the very least, were around, searching, considering the body count. Chrollo could fill in the blanks. "Now," he began, sliding his hand up Lan's body again, "whatever is my little fledgling doing-"

He bit back a cough, cut off by an elbow under the ribs. Touching her breasts remained a steadfast boundary. It was a wonder she didn't…

"Do that again and I use Arri." Ah, yes, that. A few months ago, and he'd be bleeding for groping her. Her self-control had improved, because it certainly wasn't an increase in her tolerance for mishandling.

"I wouldn't tempt me, darling." The rough treatment really turned him on.

"Since you were conveniently absent," she began, words a knife aimed at Chrollo, "Chrollo's been helping me with the Fan Shi. They've been more persistent about getting the item the last few weeks."

"You could be helpful against them," Chrollo added. He knew Hisoka would involve himself anyway. For the first time since pulling her into his lap, Chrollo glanced at Lan. He simply said, "Lanfen." A pause followed with tense eye contact between them. He already had Lan trained to figure out wordless commands. That last phone call that he had hung up on, she had been asking for his help, hadn't she? Chrollo must have immediately went after her.

Lan shifted to grab her phone from her pocket. She fiddled with it, typing a moment before shoving it in his face. His eyes almost had to cross to read, "Machi and other spiders are helping. Meet them in Kou-Ang, Anchi. Still locating Fan Shi base for attack."

"I see," he said, eyes narrowing as his smile widened.

Strategically, to obtain the Paijin's item, his appearance worked in Chrollo's favor. Lan had somehow managed to contact the Spiders, but he doubted she could coordinate them alone, that incredibly irritating curse in Chrollo's way of directing her. Also, Chrollo couldn't fight. Lan was what the Fan Shi wanted. It made sense for them to hide, Lan his last-hope bodyguard while the Troupe directly confronted the Fan Shi. If Hisoka joined up with them, Chrollo would be able to issue orders through him, no need to rely on unobservant Lan.

"I wouldn't want someone else killing you before I can," he purred into Lan's ear, nail tracing her jaw, while his eyes locked with Chrollo's. He couldn't have someone else breaking his favorite toys. No, that wouldn't work for him at all. As infuriating as the two being together was, it would hopefully keep them both alive long enough for Hisoka to tear them apart in every meaning of the phrase. He'd already spoiled the illusion, Lan now aware of Chrollo's deceit. Chrollo could suffer the consequences of that.

Lan could be such a bitter little thing when it came to lies, after all.

The details of an unfortunately updated plan were hashed out as much as possible between a gathering of liars restricted by curses.

Lanfen didn't want Hisoka's help.

She batted his hand away again, wanting to rip the damn thing off, but knowing his self-control had already been tested. Acting like he owned every aspect of her life down to who she may or may not be fucking, his jealousy at an understood misunderstanding enraged her. Hisoka might be the only person she was moderately close to that she wanted to hurt. She wasn't over Yorknew. She didn't want him laughing at her pathetic struggle with the Fan Shi, with past demons like Fanghe. She certainly didn't need him taunting her over stupidly falling for Chrollo. Again, she no longer wanted his help.

Forget the maelstrom Chrollo's motives stirred. A step below devastated might be an understatement. No, her heart seemed to plummet into an abyss as Hisoka brutally murdered her fantasy once more. She already knew that Chrollo had been aiming to use her in a warped bid to trigger Hisoka's possessiveness. Hisoka's reaction just confirmed that suspicion, his instincts not clouded by schoolgirl daydreams. What shocked her was that Chrollo was working with Hisoka, that he knew Hisoka wouldn't be around to answer her calls for help. He might have admitted that their meeting hadn't been entirely coincidental, supplied a half-truth why, but he had manipulated the situation more than she had first believed. It made his motive for revenge seem even more important than gaining the item, that accomplishing that took such precedence that he would be willing to do whatever it took.

Like that kiss. Did… did it mean anything? Or was it just more manipulation? Every moment they shared to this point, the connection she thought they had, had that been an act too? She didn't want to believe it was, but that might just mean he did a fantastic job of playing her for a fool.

"I haven't seen my darling fledgling in a while," Hisoka pouted, Lan tensing because she already knew what he wanted. "Mind leaving us alone?" A pointed nail directed attention to the door, emphasizing the 'request.' He had no problem manhandling Chrollo; he could force him out if he wanted.

Chrollo acknowledged her presence, no longer dutifully ignoring her. Sure, she understood that if he had any reaction to her position, visibly reacting would have only made Hisoka's behavior worse, but she… That entire conversation she felt like a child being criticized, no one defending her, while she sat in the same room listening. Except worse because Hisoka insisted on feeling her up to show she belonged to him. The look Chrollo gave her now was almost pitying. She didn't need his faked pity.

Lan looked to the side, sharply saying, "Just leave." As much as she didn't want to be confined in a small room with Hisoka, he was distractingly jealous and horny. She could use the opportunity to see what he knew of Chrollo's schemes. Because, once again, she wasn't sure who would kill her first.

Before Chrollo could enter the small hall connecting the other sections and cabins of the old train together, Nemmi moved beyond incessant squawking. Greed Island clattered to the floor as Nemmi's foot caught the strap of the backpack it was in. Books followed, her bag joining the pile. His feathers rose as he prepared to rip Hisoka apart.

"The bird as well," Hisoka amended, sugar-sweet tone a clear threat. If Nemmi attacked him, he would destroy him. He had no problem crushing things in the way of his pleasures.

Lan bit her lip. Nemmi glared at her; he wanted to stay regardless of the possibility of dispersal. They couldn't risk that. Not now. She would have to sit in place for a week, and she didn't want to find out if God Complex worked or not the hard way. The Fan Shi would inevitably track her down in that time. She also doubted she could get away from both Hisoka and Chrollo long enough to reform Nemmi without interruption. If Nemmi wanted to help her face the Fan Shi, then he absolutely couldn't try to defend her from Hisoka.

"Go with Chrollo," she reluctantly ordered.

With equal reluctance and a screech in Hisoka's direction, Nemmi flew the short distance from the seat to Chrollo's shoulder. Where he then sunk his talons in just enough to be uncomfortable but not tear fabric or draw blood. Chrollo looked to his shoulder, raising his eyebrows at the invisible bird assaulting him again. It was a good thing he found Nemmi's theatrics more amusing than annoying. A flicker of a smile tried to cross her face, dead with the reminder of his betrayal.

"Bye, bye," Hisoka sung, a showy flick of his fingers slamming the door closed in front of the two. Had she ever mentioned hating his ability? She took a quick look with Gyo around the room, at her entire body. He had had plenty of time to stick that crap all over her to-

Her head hit the seat, the ceiling briefly in view before venomous yellow eyes filled her vision. He pinned her beneath him, body flush against hers, reasserting how disturbingly horny he was after being punched. Hisoka's mouth covered hers to move against tightly closed lips. Lan desperately tried to not react. An eternal second finally passed, and he stopped, pouting in a disgustingly childish way considering the circumstances.

"Fledgling," he whined into her ear, breath uncomfortably hot, "don't ignore me. I just helped you, the least you could do is act grateful." Her fingers knotted in his hair as she wrenched an arm free. "That's more-" A rough pull failed to get his face away from hers. He grabbed her wrist, hold tight, tone darkening as he said, "You don't listen to my generous warnings very well, darling. Chrollo's mine. You're mine."

She tugged at her wrist, his fingers squeezing harder, nails digging into unprotected skin. It took all of her self-control to stifle her aura, to hide absolute fury and revulsion. She couldn't make a scene on a train filled with bored passengers; the attack would immediately be on the internet for Virgil's convenience. That, and a fight would only entice Hisoka more.

A power struggle. Every single time, every damn interaction between them, somehow turned into them vying for dominance. She hated it. She hated that he made game out of everything.

"Hisoka," she complained, matching his whiny tone out of spite, thinking.

He didn't let her continue stalling. Instead, he tried kissing her again, clearly set on proving she was his. She bit his lip after a few moments of playing along. Blood tainted the kiss, his split lip reopening to stain their mouths. His tongue traced the inside of her mouth, the mixed metallic tang and candy sweetness nauseating. He moaned happily while she wanted to gag. She jerked at his hair again, breaking apart their mouths, exchanging the unpleasant taste of blood for makeup as she ran her tongue along his jaw to his neck.

Teeth in skin, the wildly sexual sound he made as she bit into his neck made her flush. The same dialogue from their fight came out in quiet murmurs. While praying he didn't actually come, she worked her other arm out from under him. The second he tried to kiss her, or, worse, bite her back, she pulled his head away by his hair before covering his mouth with a hand to drive the point home.

"Let me on top," she sputtered as she felt his smile widen, saw the desirous haze in gold eyes. She wanted no part in what he just thought of. Nope.

His eyes positively sparkled at her words. He pushed himself off of her, sitting up as she scurried to get away to at least the other seat if not out of the train entirely. He grabbed her wrist, tugged her with enough force to throw off her balance and get her to sit back down next to him.

"Oh, Lan, I fell for this trick once before." His nails poked into her chin as he redirected her attention back to him. She glared. Playing along with his advances to get him to do something had been a one-time trick. Why did he have to be smart? Of course, the only time he seemed to completely lose his mind was while fighting; fooling around just didn't thrill him the way battle did.

Instead of asking him what he thought Chrollo had planned, her anger broke through the second his hands were back to memorizing the curves of her damn body. "What do you want from me?" she asked, voice level, tone anything but pleasant.

"You." He smiled happily, poking her between her tightly knitted brows before chuckling under his breath. Some of that over-the-top cheer faded as he explained, "Of course, you still have potential, but, right now, I want sex. It seems like a fun diversion while waiting for you to ripen to perfection, don't you agree?"

"You tried to kill me." Neither of those 'goals' aligned with choking her out in Yorknew. The bloodlust in his aura, the look on his face, he had meant to kill her, done everything just short of it. The fact he didn't finish her off remained a miracle.

"Hm? Oh, yes, I suppose I considered it." He took one of her hands, held it to his throat, coaxed her fingers to squeeze. "Want to choke me?" Her hand shook as she contemplated accepting the offer to let out some of her rage. But she couldn't. Because he wanted her to. In no way would that make them even. She had been absolutely terrified as he not only threatened to kill her, but as he dredged up memories of suffocating smoke and fire. She had begged while crying, and his grip had only tightened. He showed absolutely no guilt, nor even a hint of regret, for what he did. "Or do you want an apology?"

She ripped her hand away, hissing, "I don't want more empty words, I-"

"Then is it Chrollo?"

Despite her best interests, she lashed out. Her knuckles slammed into his cheekbone, bruising them both, smudging the star painted on his cheek. "No," she snapped, ready to hit him again despite blood oozing from reopened cuts on her knuckles. "The issue's always you, bastard!"

He hummed as he felt over his cheek, as he wiped away drying blood from his split lip. "Then I am honestly a bit lost, Lan. Out of everyone I've met, you're the one that perhaps understands me the best." He reached out as she froze, his thumb tracing over her lips before he trailed his nails down her neck. "You knew from the beginning that I plan to kill you once your potential peaks." He smiled before dropping his hand from her throat. "So, why is it you're so upset? Did you naively think you could change my mind by befriending me?" The teasing tone, he trivialized what had been a life-altering, yet incredibly stupid, decision. "I assure you that you," he stressed, bopping a finger playfully on her nose,"are the issue in that case." She couldn't respond because she agreed. It was her fault for trusting him when he went out of his way to break her trust again and again. "I see. You are upset with yourself for wanting more than reality would ever offer. Blaming me won't resolve your issues, darling."

"Hisoka," she weakly tried to argue, words trailing off into oblivion because he was right. While he was far from blameless, she had to take some responsibility for this chaotic disaster of a relationship. She did know, from the very beginning, that he wouldn't magically change because she liked him. This was who he was. He didn't want to change.

"You're childish in that regard. You never find yourself at fault."

"You're the same," she mumbled, hating the comparison, the similarity.

"I am, aren't I? We are terribly similar, fledgling."

That was the terrifying truth. Hisoka had been an ideal that she had latched onto in hopes of copying. She had adored his attention because he was strong, he belonged to himself alone, pursued his selfish desires unhindered. He would never be betrayed, never be something treated as expendable or as a trophy, never be controlled.

The empty pit in her stomach, the carving out of her heart, when thinking about living the way Hisoka did… He would always be alone. He didn't have friends. He barely had allies. Just toys. Toys and targets that he would inevitably toss aside or kill.

"I hate you," she whispered, defeated. She hid her face by resting her forehead on his shoulder, sought hollow comfort from him as realization violently beat her over the head.

"You feel that strongly for me?"

"Shut up."

She didn't want to be alone.

She couldn't shed that last part of herself that cared, that wanted friends that understood her, found her important for more than just a vaguely described item. She wanted people to care about her, love her, regardless of past ghosts and personality quirks. People that wouldn't toss her aside after using her. She craved a bond like that with more than just Auntie, because... Because, eventually, she would die and leave Lan all alone too. Even if the prospect of being known was wholly terrifying, emotional intimacy, she wanted it.

The odds of Hisoka ever providing that were near zero. In fact, he seemed more interested in crushing that aspect of her for entertainment.

Her life, she didn't like what it was becoming. She had wanted to escape the problems of her past. Instead, she had worsened them tenfold. Not her father or Fanghe or the Fan Shi, she did this to herself. She pursued Hisoka after the exam. She kept him a part of her life. She kept saying one more time, one more chance, one more rematch, in an unending circle that dragged her further into the chaos Hisoka weaved. If she didn't do something, she would die. Be it at Hisoka's hands or through the strife he created, she would die. And she, aware of the oncoming disaster, will have invited death with open arms if she remained indecisive. Her control would dwindle to nothingness.

What she needed was change. To survive and adapt to the crisis of her creation, she desperately needed to change. Something. Anything. Stubborn refusal would surely mean death.

This moment. This moment was the catalyst.

A/N- Surprise! Lan and Chrollo kiss and Hisoka reappears! I promised the chapter would be something :) Anyway, when arranging for Hisoka to find the exorcist chapters ago, Chrollo asked for him to give an update to confirm there was an exorcist there (to see if he needed a back-up plan or learn internal mechanics of Greed Island to later use to ditch Hisoka). I think a leave card would bring the user back to the console they entered with? If not, whoops. More chaos to ensue next time~

Thank you to Alter Ego Bob, Guest, and purplewine for reviewing! Much appreciated!

Guest- Whirlwind of emotions? Funny you should mention that before this update :) Chrollo's got another 'vote' I see, lol. No, I'm happy for that because even though he came into Lan's life second, he's posing stiff competition. Although, yeah, still using her (just very conflicted about it now). I'm glad you're enjoying and thank you for reviewing!