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Chapter 26 – Reunions
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When they got ready to beam down from the Daedalus, John was a little on edge. He and his team stood on the bridge of the ship as Col. Caldwell radioed the city and readied Atlantis personnel for their arrival. In his uniform, John took Teyla's hand and squeezed, trying to redirect some of his nervous energy.
During the three week voyage to Pegasus, he'd logged plenty of time with the on-board head shrinker to satisfy the PTBs that, despite his memory gap, he was fully capable of continuing in his capacity as the military commander of the base. He had gotten his clearance and his status reinstated. As far as the military was concerned, the matter was closed, but John had nagging doubts. The lingering hole in his head made him apprehensive that he may not remember things in Atlantis as they really were—like the walls were a different color than he recalled or there would be people he should know that he wouldn't. As the energy from the transport beam engulfed him, he supposed the time had come to rip the band-aid off and find out for sure.
They rematerialized in front of the gate and were met by a room full of people. A full squad of military personnel stared back at him, along with many of the scientists and the more familiar faces of his friends. Up front, with Teldy slightly behind and to his right, Major Lorne called the squad to attention and threw up his hand in salute to his returning commander. The salute was echoed by those standing behind him.
"Colonel Sheppard, it's an honor to have you back, sir."
John loosened his grip on Teyla's hand and lifted himself to match. He snapped into position and returned the salute. When the gesture was finished and hands around the room lowered, John replied, "It's me who's honored, Major," and with a good hard look around, he sighed with relief. "It's good to be home."
Major Lorne turned around and dismissed the squad. The soldiers filed out and the pomp and circumstance atmosphere started to morph into something more informal and comfortable to him. The people in the upper balcony and many of the scientists returned to their work and the returning group was left with Sam, Dr. Keller, Dr. Zelenka, and Carson Beckett waiting for their chance to greet them.
Radek barely got a word and a handshake in before Rodney whisked him away, demanding to know everything that had gone on while he was away
Not really one to stand on ceremony, Jennifer ran up to him and gave him a quick, enthusiastic hug and broke away again before he had a chance to react. With glassy eyes, she said, "Colonel, you look so much better. I'm so glad. You gave us all quite a scare."
"Sorry about that," he said.
"Just don't do it again and we'll call it even, okay?"
With a dutiful agreement to try from John, Jennifer peppered Teyla with questions about how the rehabilitation of her knee was going, if they'd gotten the chance to do anything on Earth before returning home, and a very veiled comment alluding to her curiosity about whether John had been told yet.
Leaving the girl talk to the girls, John turned to see that Sam and Carson had both come up. Only partially in jest, John slowly reached out and gave Carson a good solid poke in the chest with his index finger.
Sam asked, "John, what are you ...?"
"Just making sure," he explained with a comically straight face, then a smirk peeked out. "Welcome back from the dead, Carson."
"Welcome back yourself, Colonel," Beckett answered with a wide smile.
"You picked a helluva time to show up," John pointed out.
Teyla overheard his comment and said to the beaming Scot, "I, for one, am very grateful he came when he did."
"I am too, sweetie," said John. "I am too."
While Jennifer stood by and reined in her impulse to act smile stupidly at the colonel's less guarded attitude toward showing affection for Teyla, Sam took her chance. "It's good to see you, John. I hope you've come back ready to get to work."
"Well ..." he started, "I, uh, have a lot of catching up to do, then I ..."
Carter smiled. "Take all the time you need, Colonel. Major Lorne's done a great job keeping your seat warm."
"In that case," John said, "Maybe I could just take another couple weeks and ... re-acclimate?" he joked.
"You and I both know that you could never stay out of the action that long."
"I'm willing to give it a try."
They spent the next few minutes getting reacquainted with the major events around the city they had missed. Apparently, Carson's status as a clone wasn't all smooth sailing. He and Jennifer had had to work together to put together a cure for some cellular necrosis going on his organs. He would have to receive regular injections to stave the condition off, but he was full steam ahead again. Once that problem had been rectified, they had then turned their attention on Halling.
"How is he?" Teyla asked.
"We were able to reverse engineer a version of the original Iratus retrovirus and return him to normal," Beckett explained.
Jennifer added, "He's doing well and he's staying with the rest of the Athosians again."
Teyla said to John urgently, grabbing his arm, "I must see him."
John nodded, knowing how important it was to her. With all that had happened, she had never gotten a proper reunion with her people.
"I can take you," Jennifer volunteered.
"Thank you," Teyla said. "I will contact you later, John."
He watched as the two women headed toward the nearest transporter. Teyla was moving much better. While he was preoccupied with the military psychiatrist on the Daedalus, she had been doing physical therapy to strengthen her knee again. She was able to ditch the crutches before long and was on a cane for a while. Now, although she still wore a brace, it was much smaller and more malleable and she could walk without any assistance. John was starting to see the familiar strut in her step again. The sway of her hips as she walked away and what it did for her backside weren't lost on him in the slightest and he had to fight to keep his mind from diving head first into the gutter.
"Colonel," he said. "I need to, uh, put in a request."
"You should know, Teyla, after you left, things with Halling were not always ... easy," Dr. Keller advised her as they walked together through the corridors of the city.
"What you mean?"
"He was quiet for a while. You know how he was. He would sit in the holding cell and watch everybody, never saying a word."
Teyla nodded. "Yes, that is how he behaved after I was able to break through Michael's hold on him. But something changed?"
"I'm afraid so," Jennifer told her sadly. "A few days later, he started getting more and more agitated. Pacing around, you know? Just acting really nervous. At first, we figured it was a reaction to being cooped up in the cells for so long, but that wasn't it."
"Late one night, I got a call," she paused, shaking her head at the memory. "I went down to the brig and he was ... different. He was raving about how his master would rise up again and Atlantis was going to fall. It was scary, really scary. Then, he changed and clutched his head, screaming like he was in pain. It went on for a while before he changed back."
Teyla listened in horror. Halling was like a brother and she could not imagine him ever behaving in such a way.
"We finally had to go in and sedate him, because he started throwing himself into the shields and he wouldn't stop."
"Why would he do that to himself?" Teyla asked, appalled.
"Carson has a theory. While he didn't do any of the actual research on creating the hybrids, he did have limited access to Michael's files and he tried to familiarize himself with what was being done," Jennifer went on, trying to explain it so Teyla would understand. "Michael was actually putting a ... rudimentary sort of hive consciousness in the hybrids, like the Wraith have. It's what connects the Wraith together in the hive under their Queen and it acts along the same neural pathways as their mind control abilities. It's not a conscious collective of minds, but more like a link in a chain connecting them all together. And Michael created the collective in the hybrids with himself as the center, so he could have more control, keep them focused on his mission for total domination."
Teyla nodded. She had felt it herself in her few connections with the Wraith. There was always the conscious thoughts of the individual Wraith she linked with, but in the background, she could almost hear what she would describe as a hum.
Keller went on, satisfied that Teyla knew what she was saying and probably, she realized, had a deeper understanding of it than she did. "Dr. Beckett thinks that, when you connected with Halling, you broke the link, or, at least, damaged it, making Halling less of a threat and helping him to get more centered on who he really is."
"And you believe that this hive mind began to reassert itself after a time," Teyla finished.
"Yeah."
"But he is disconnected from it now. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Jennifer confirmed. "He's 100% Halling again. But he does remember things, and I didn't want you to be taken by surprise by some things he might say."
"What kinds of things?"
"Oh, nothing really. Mostly, it's just more of Michael's propaganda, but he occasionally makes references to things that don't really make sense. They may be plans. They may be things he saw. We don't really know and Halling can't seem to bring more focus to them either. He says they're just sitting there in his head, without a reference point."
"I see," Teyla said. "Thank you, Jennifer, for taking care of him."
"It was my pleasure, Teyla," the doctor responded. She gave Teyla a smile and soft nudge to the arm. "So. Onto happier things. Did you tell the colonel?"
Teyla returned the smile.
"You did? How did he take it?" she asked on the edge of her seat.
"He was ... surprised," Teyla said. "It took him some time, but I believe he is quite happy to be having a child."
Jennifer was so excited. "Of course, he is. How could he not be? You guys are gonna be such a cute little family!"
It was strange seeing Halling this way. He was no longer the man he was, but he was also no longer the monster. When Teyla entered, Jennifer waited outside to give the old friends some privacy. He stood and pressed his forehead to hers as he had done a thousand times before, but this time it was different. He was different.
"How are you recovering, my friend?" Teyla asked him.
He seemed uneasy and wouldn't make eye contact with her. "I am well, Teyla. It has been difficult, but I am adjusting."
"And Jinto?"
At the mention of his son, Halling brightened at little. "He is well, also. He is happy to have been able to return here. I do not think he would've ever left, given the choice. He often spoke of coming to visit you in the city of the Ancestors."
She smiled. "He would have been most welcome. I have missed him and you."
"Yes, well, I think now he was right. We never should have left," he said darkly.
While Teyla couldn't know everything Halling had gone through, she knew the guilt he must be feeling. It was the burden of being a leader among a people on the brink of extinction. "Halling, I have often felt that I am partly to blame for what has happened. Michael targeted our people because of your connection to me and I should have been there to try and stop it. But, it changes nothing. All we can do now is take what we still have and rebuild. The Athosian people have survived ten thousand years of cullings. We will survive this as well."
He stood up and started to pace. "I cannot. I cannot remain, not when I have blood on my hands."
"Halling ..."
"No, Teyla! I helped him destroy our people, our friends. I dragged Retana out of that prison cell and delivered her up to him while she cried and never did I once try to stop him!
Teyla closed her eyes. Retana was a good friend and Setisse's mother. When they were young, Charin had tried to teach them both how to cook and between the two of them, Retana had been the only one to learn.
"I followed the Master ..." He spat out the word that had so easily flowed from his tongue. "Michael. I followed him without question. Always searching for balance, the right balance—light and dark, good and evil—all of it to change the face of the galaxy."
Halling paused, realizing he had been doing it again. Saying things, ranting about things that had no longer held any meaning for him.
Teyla watched in sorrow as her Athosian brother covered his face and started to shake. The painful, miserable sounds he made broke her heart.
"What am I? I am no longer a man," he asked her with a shudder laced through his cracking voice. He spoke to her in desperation, as a lonely criminal confesses his crimes. "I have seen into what lies at the heart of the Wraith, Teyla, and it ... it was intoxicating. I felt no fear, no doubt, no pain, and ... I want it back. May the Ancestors forgive me, I want it back!"
Teyla took a hold of his face and forced him to look at her. "You are a good man," she said, commanding him to hear her. "You are a good man with pain in your heart. No one would blame you for desiring an escape. I don't. I know what it is like to feel so much pain, you can think of nothing but finding a way to end it. But ...Halling, look at me!"
He tried to tear away from her, but she held him fast. "It will pass. I promise you. It will pass and you will find joy again. When you are ready for it, it will be waiting for you and so will we all. No one is going abandon you for what Michael inflicted on you and no one blames you.
Halling started to calm down, so Teyla relaxed her hard grip. "When we found you and the others, Jinto spoke to me of how proud he was of you. He was able to look at you, even while you wore that face, and speak of you with great fondness. He has never wavered."
Halling took a deep breath and got out, "He is a good son."
"He has a good father."
It took some time, but as he settled down again, he became more like his old self. He was less guarded and she was able to speak with him about the more mundane yet essential questions regarding their people and their future.
"I believe that it is best, for now, that we remain in Atlantis," Teyla said. "We need to give those that have survived time to heal and regroup. Whether we return to New Athos or try and resettle on a new planet will be decided when the time is right."
"When that time comes, will you be coming with us, Teyla?" he asked in surprise. She was speaking as though she were planning on being more of a present part of the community. "I would have thought you would remain here."
"Things here have changed since you've been gone. My ties here have grown. I cannot simply leave." She sighed. "But I do not see how I could stay either, when our people will need every hand available to start over."
"I understand how difficult it would be for you to leave."
"Do you?" she asked.
"You have lived among these people a long time now," he stated. "Bonds are formed and some bonds should never be broken, not even for duty."
He patted her hand. "You do not need to decide anything now, Teyla," he said. "As you say, the Athosians will remain in Atlantis. You are the leader. You will know when the time is right."
"Where are we, John? I do not believe I have been through this section of the city before," Teyla asked looking around at the unknown hallway.
"I was taking a walk out on the east pier, just trying to get reacquainted with things, you know, thinking things through ... and a light on this panel," he told her, pointing to a black, square section of the wall, "lit up and I followed it. I just sorta found my way here."
He held her tightly by the hand down the deserted hallway. Teyla allowed John to lead her wherever it was he had set in his mind to go. Whatever he had found, he seemed genuinely excited about it. "I don't think I've been back here since we first arrived in the city. We checked out this whole section and it's just been sitting here deserted ever since."
"These are all quarters?"
"Yeah, big ones," he said with a smile. "The Ancients had families, too. Stands to reason they had to put the little Ancients somewhere."
Just a few paces further, John stopped and thought for second. "Yeah, this is it." He waved his hand over the door control and the room opened to them with a soft hiss. He pulled Teyla inside.
She took in a deep breath. "Oh, John ..."
"It's pretty nice, huh?" he said with a smile.
The first thing she saw as she stepped in the large front room were the windows on the opposite wall and the doorway that led to the balcony beyond. They held the most spectacular view of Atlantis she had ever seen. Teyla was awestruck at the Ancients' planning of the city. The tower they were in was in a cluster of several, but the view was completely unobstructed from every angle. The control tower, the lower levels and the rest of Atlantis beyond it, the wide expanse of ocean surrounding them—Teyla saw them all majestically lit up by the sunlight and the city seemed to shine.
"It is beautiful," she whispered.
She turned to John who was watching her reaction intently and seemed to be loving every second of it. "You wish us to live here?" she asked.
"That's the idea." He walked around behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, across her neck. "There's two bedrooms, plus a master for us. Big living room. Kitchen, if we ever dare to use it. Plenty of room for all our stuff."
"John, I do not believe we have things enough to fill this room," she said, waving a hand to the living room they were in, "let alone the rest of them."
"I don't mind. That means there will be plenty of open space," he answered. "But I do have a few ideas about what to do with some of this."
He let her go and started pointing out specific areas of the quarters and she smiled at his initiative. It only made him more handsome to her, to know that he'd already put so much thought into this.
"This is where I'm gonna keep my guitar," he said with a wave to one area. "I thought that wall right there would be a great place for my Johnny Cash poster."
"You have a guitar?"
"Well, not yet ... but Capshaw said he'd give me some lessons. He's pretty good."
"I was not aware."
He wandered to the next point of interest to him. "And here. This, right here, is McKay's corner. This is where he can come and complain about how no one appreciates what he brings to the table and that the presence of lemonade in the mess hall is a personal attack on him. You know, the usual."
Teyla chuckled, while John kept going.
"Over here, you and Ronon can bring in a big trunk and store all the weapons you pull out solely to kick my ass with. And, don't worry, we can put up a smaller rack for all the baby-sized weapons. I figure whipping daddy's ass will become one of the more popular family traditions."
He sauntered up to her, knowing that he'd completely sold her. He slid up to her and held her close to him. "What do you think?"
She took one more look around and imagined all the wonderful new memories they could make in here. John had, indeed, sold her. At that moment, she couldn't think of another place she could ever want to be. "We will have to make a request to Colonel Carter."
"Already done. We don't even to sign a mortgage or anything. It's ours, if you want it."
"In that case, when may we move in?"
"As soon as I can assemble the minions, sweetie," he said and, as she let out a joy-filled laugh, John pulled her in and grazed his lips along her neck.
Two weeks later, Teyla lay on a bed in the infirmary with her arms folded over her chest, absentmindedly swinging her foot from side to side and glancing at her watch.
"Any sign of him?" Dr. Keller asked.
"Not yet," Teyla sighed.
"We could radio him."
"I do not wish to disturb him if he is still in his meeting."
"Somehow, I don't think he'd mind."
At that point, John hurried into the infirmary to her side. "I'm so sorry, Teyla. I couldn't get McKay to shut up. I finally had to pull out my gun." With a quick look to Jennifer, he said, "I didn't miss it, did I?"
"No, Colonel. We've been waiting for you."
"You did not really pull your gun on Rodney, did you?" Teyla asked, concerned.
He nodded emphatically. "You bet I did. Laid it on the table. Worked like a charm, too. You may want to check on him in a minute, Doc. He was looking pretty pale when I left."
"I'll do that," Jennifer smirked and said sweetly, "Okay, Teyla. Let's do this."
Teyla lifted her shirt a few inches, unzipped her pants, and tugged the loosened waistline down to expose her abdomen. Dr. Keller pulled out a small, black Doppler device and pressed the monitor to Teyla's skin. After a few moments of searching and dragging the probe across her belly, the rapid, thrumming pulse of a baby's heartbeat filled the infirmary.
"There it is," Jennifer said. "Sounds great. Nice and strong."
John squeezed Teyla's hand and pushed the loose hair of her bangs out of the way as he laid a kiss on her forehead. He felt a rush go through him. It wasn't unlike a surge of adrenaline. It went deeper, down to the very tips of his toes.
He had just gotten his first taste of fatherhood, the first of what he hoped were many.
And he liked the way it felt on him.
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fin
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Author's Notes: Yep, that's all folks! I just wanted to thank everybody one more time for all the great comments and taking the time to review. I can't tell you how much they helped keep me on track and helped me make improvements. So you know, I have an outline in the works for a sequel, but I'm not sure how soon I'll actually start to write it. I have a RL writing project that needs some attention, too. But, the ideas have started to flood in lately and I don't know how long I'll be able to resist...In the meantime, though, I'll be around reading some your stories, so if you ever have any questions or comments, just message me. I'm happy to reply. Thanks again!