(I don't own Harry Potter or the song I wanna Sex you up (which is a very awesome song) by: LFO! I also don't own Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang)

In the kitchens
"So, you'll put this in Potter's drink, and I won't tell anybody I caught you sleeping on job." A low voice informed a house elf.

"Yes, please don't tell, Twinky is a good boy." The elf stuttered, nervously.

"Don't worry me won't say anything…." The figure said, as it slinked out of the room. As soon as the figure left the room, and the portrait was closed, it pulled off the hood to reveal Frank Flint (look at Chapter 3 to find out who Frank Flint is). "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JAMES POTTER WILL RUE THE DAY HE MESSED WITH ME! FRANKLIN F. FLINT!" he laughed evilly.

"I wonder which Potter is Twinky give the potion too." The elf mumbled to himself, "oh well Twinky just guess."

The next day
"Ah" A very cute and tired Harry Potter yawned, gazing sleepily at Lucius.

'So cute!' Lucius' inner self screamed.

Snape, being Snape, looked at his friend, knowing exactly what he was thinking, and gave him a disapproving look, that clearly stated, 'not very Slytherin'.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen today." Harry stated, as he rubbed his eyes, once again looking adorable.

The Trio walked into the Great Hall and took a seat at the Slytherin table, and waited for the food and drinks to appear on the table, and when the food did appear Harry's drink was already poured in his glass much to his confusion.

'Oh well, it just Pumpkin juice!' He thought, as he took a sip.

"Mmm, this is good!" Harry said as he hurriedly drank down the rest of his juice.

Down at the other end of the table Frank Flint was seething, "damn elf gave the wrong Potter the potion!" he mumbled quietly.

"Severus I need you to help me with this Potions assignment, what in Merlin is a mutton dagger?" Lucius asked.

"A mutton dagger is a device that helps shred certain roots better." Severus answered.

"That may be but it sounds like a pet name for a certain part of the male anatomy." Harry said, shocking everyone that heard.

"GAH IT WON'T FIT!" Lily yelled, as she tried to stuff a giant tome in her book bag.

"HAHA! THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!" He yelled in reply, this time shocking the whole Great Hall.

"Wait Harry's gay?" Pettigrew asked.

"Of course he's gay! Are you an idiot?" Lily exclaimed.

"What guy wouldn't want to be gay, having a hard thick cock shoved up your" was all Harry said, before Lucius covered his mouth.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON!" James started yelling, as he ran around in circles.

"I have reason to believe young Mr. Potter has been introduced to a pervert potion." Professor Slughorn said. "The effects aren't permanent, but there's no cure and the potion takes about 24 hours to wear off." He concluded.

"I wanna sex you up! Ugh!" Harry started singing sexily, as he climbed on the table and started dancing sensually. Lucius, Sirius, and Dean all felt their mouths go dry as Harry continued the song, "I know the way you like it!" this time Harry bent and caressed Lucius' cheek, before winking, "I wanna sex you up, that's right let's get it on tonight!" With that line Harry did a little hip thrust, which sent Dean, Lucius, Sirius, and some other boys in Hogwarts into a drooling fit.

"Harry, my boy, please get off the table." Dumbledore said, with sparkling eyes.

"If I must." Harry said, as he got off the table and sat right down… into Severus' lap, straddling him.

"Potter, get off me." Snape commanded, trying unsuccessfully to hold back a blush.

"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." Harry sang, once again.

'Damn lucky bastard!' Dean scowled.

'I'm going to kill him!' Sirius thought.

'Wow Harry looks sexy today… wait he should be in my lap!' Lucius thought, he was always a bit slow in the mornings.

The bell for classes then rang so Harry slowly climbed out of Snape's lap, and started walking to the doors, swaying his hips, but before he went through the doors, he turned around and winked.

Harry headed for potions class leaving the rest of the school shocked.

"I believe it is time for class" Dumbledore called out, eyes still twinkling, making everyone finally snap out of it.

"Poor Harry." Lily said, forgetting she made him cross dress.

"Yeah, I feel really bad for him" lily's anonymous friend replied.

"I, for one think this Harry is drop dead sexy!" Dean exclaimed.

"What did you say about my son!?!?" Lily screamed, enraged.

"AHHHH!" Dean yelled, as he took down the halls, with a seething red head after him.

"Ah my precious flower, so delicate." James sighed dreamily.

"Precious my arse" Sirius muttered, but started walking faster not only to get out of James' grasp, but so maybe he could flirt with this new Harry.

'Ah there he is' Sirius thought, as he walked up to Harry.

"Hey there, sexy" Harry greeted.

"Hello beautiful" Sirius replied, grinning broadly.

"So you're going to sit next to me right, maybe we can hide our hands under the table, and do things (a.k.a. feeling each other up)." Harry said seductively, moving up close to Sirius, and playing with his hair, his body fully pressed against Sirius'.

"Of course, I can't leave someone as beautiful as yourself alone; someone might try to steal you away." Sirius flirted.

"Well c'mon you kids, get into class." Professor Slughorn said, as he unlocked the door.

Well Harry and Sirius did sit together, but someone ruined his plan, that someone being Lucius Malfoy, who sat on the other side of Harry.

"Lucius, what do I do here?" Harry asked, biting his lower lip.

'Oh god I want to kiss him so badly.' Lucius thought, "Well you put the broomslang in stir counterclockwise 20 times." He instructed.

"Thanks Lucius," Harry replied, "maybe we can play Professor and student later in the dorm!" Harry winked.

'Oh Professor, please punish me!' Harry moaned in Lucius' mind, making him drool.

"Potter, stop being a pervert, I know you can't help it, but please try to refrain from mentioning it in my class." Slughorn reprimanded.

"Oh you mean like this?" Harry asked, as he climbed out of his sit and sat down on Sirius's lap, and started to grind against an extremely happy Gryffindor.

He started making noises as he pushed their lower regions together, and he happily kept grinding against Sirius, much to the displeasure of a few Gryffindors (a.k.a James, Dean, and Lily) and a Slytherin.

"I would say this is a bit too extreme but considering how innocent Potter is, and the more innocent people are, the more they are affected, but I didn't even know it could be this bad." Slughorn muttered to himself, before barking "Potter get back to work!"

A couple hours later
"Ok, today everyone we'll be transforming your desks into pigs, and back, now can anyone tell me the spell?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry raised his hand, and McGonagall responded, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt" Harry sang as he slowly started peeling off his robe, and shirt. "I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants" he continued (while changing the words), while he started unbuttoning his pants, revealing that he was wearing green cotton briefs.

"Harry raised his hand, and McGonagall responded, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt" Harry sang as he slowly started peeling off his robe, and shirt. "I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants" he continued (while changing the words), while he started unbuttoning his pants.

"Wahoo! Take it off!" Dean cheered.

"Mr. Thomas!" McGonagall cried, outraged, "that's detention of a week."

"I don't care, as long as Harry takes off his pants!" Dean replied, now drooling over the pantless Harry, who was grinding against a support beam in the wall.

"Does anyone have a galleon?" a random person cried, from the back of the class.

"Now hold on!" Professor McGonagall said, but she was ignored as everyone started placing galleons down Harry's briefs.

"Mr. Potter put your clothes back on!"

"But Professor," Harry whined, "I feel so much freer!" (Freer is actually a word.)

'I wonder if I started stripping if people would give me chocolate…' Remus wondered, 'might as well find out.'

Remus started stripping and grinding up against Harry.

"MR. LUPIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!" McGonagall called.

"…I just want chocolate…." He said with teary eyes, "will you give me some chocolate?" he asked with puppy dog eyes.

"If you put your clothes back on…" she sighed.

"Yay!" Remus cheered, and put his clothes on the fastest anyone had ever seen. "My chocolate please." He said, holding out his hands.

"Fine" she sighed and gave Remus her only bar of chocolate, ignoring all the cat calls as Harry started to grind against Lucius. 'What in Merlin's name have I done to deserve this?' she asked herself.

REVEIW! REVEIW! REVEIW! PLEASE I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!