I finally was awake
Like water to my face
I'd finally found my place
I'd never be the same
''Please don't tell me you didn't like it because it's not believable,'' Hayley groaned, watching as the credits began to roll on the television.
''I never said I didn't like it,'' Steve defended, sprawled out lazily beside her on the couch. ''I just don't get the hype around it,''
''Jurassic Park is a cult classic, I can't believe you. This has put a serious dent in our friendship,''
Steve rolled his eyes and laughed at how dramatic she was being. It was nice the have spent the evening with her just watching a movie. It reminded him of their nights spent together when they first met, just becoming friends over their little arguments about films. Hayley wanted to show Steve all the important movies he had missed, but it normally ended in an fit of laughter over all of the references Steve didn't understand yet.
It was the first evening that they both had free. Hayley had signed numerous forms that week and attended a number of briefings with Coulson's replacement, digesting all of the necessary information needed to begin any work as an agent. Coulson's faith in her sped things up slightly, but in the end it was down to SHIELD's tests that determined where she started in this new field of work.
''Oh, well if that's how you feel maybe I'll take the rest of the pizza and be on my way,'' he teased.
Hayley all but leaped from her side of the couch over to him, landing on top of Steve before he could reach out to the pizza box on the living room table. Steve then grabbed her arms, securing her within his grip as he sat up, Hayley now sitting on top of him, unwilling to give up.
''Are you testing my strength?'' Hayley asked suspiciously.
''Just seeing how all that training is going,'' he smirked.
''I bet I can escape Captain America's grip in less than a minute,''
Before Steve had a chance to ask how she planned to do so, Hayley leaned in and kissed him with a force that pushed him down onto the couch on his back. His hands were still gripping Hayley's shoulders as she ran her hand along his jaw, resting just above his chest. Her lips moved softly, but Steve could feel the urgency in the kiss, parting his lips and sliding his hands down to her waist.
Neither of them had spoken about how their relationship had changed since moving to a slightly more romantic stage, but right now as Steve's hands began to move into her hair, it marked the furthest they had been from friendship.
As their lips remained locked together, Hayley slid her hands up to wrap around Steve's, pulling them down to pin beside his face. Hayley broke away then with a sly grin, looking back at Steve's flustered and breathless expression.
''Told ya,'' she chuckled.
''You, uh, cheated,'' Steve retorted in a shaky breath.
''Well, you didn't say I couldn't,''
Before anything could become uncomfortable, neither of them knew how to continue a conversation after that, Hayley's phone began buzzing and ringing on the table. For a brief moment she thought about ignoring it, but eventually climbed off the couch and took her phone out of the room to talk.
Steve was still laying back on the couch trying to catch his breath as he heard Hayley greet whoever was calling, his mind far from who it could be. Steve's experience with romance had been limited to a few kisses with Hayley over the past few weeks and he had only just become comfortable with touching her waist. What just happened between the two of them was much more than he expected.
There was no denying the feelings he had for Hayley, but in regards to a relationship, Steve had no idea what he should be doing. He was from a time where people dated before kissing, where the guy walked the girl to her door at the end of the night and maybe received a peck on the cheek. And that was only from what Steve saw in movies and heard from people his age. Steve never dated, and right now he was just as clueless as that young boy in Brooklyn.
A few minutes later, Steve was sitting upright on the couch watching the news when Hayley walked back into the room, throwing herself down next to him with a yawn. It was clear that what just happened was, again, not going to be discussed.
''I forgot how mother-like my mom actually is,'' Hayley laughed, shaking her head.
''Everything okay?''
''Yeah, just reminding me that it's three weeks until the anniversary party and to make sure I don't show up in cargo pants and a t-shirt like their last anniversary,''
Steve laughed at her roll of the eyes.
''Did you forget it was a party?''
''I was late, as usual. Oh and she called to remind me not to be late,'' Hayley chuckled at the reminder. ''And I have to make sure that Mr Steve Rogers receives the invitation,''
Steve stuttered for words then, pointing to himself as if he was questioning who she was referring to. This was the O'Connor's anniversary, it had nothing to do with him, he had never met them. The last thing he wanted to do was intrude on such a special occasion.
''They...they invited me to their anniversary?'' he asked, confused.
''They want to meet you,'' Hayley assured. ''Blake's told them all about you. Nick idolized Captain America and I know your legend played a big part in my dad enlisting,''
''They want to meet Captain America,''
''No, they want to meet Steve Rogers. The guy who helped me be myself again, who took care of me after the battle,'' she clarified. ''It'd mean a lot to them, and to me,''
Steve thought about facing a crowd full of people and being expected to be the man they read comic books about and traded cards over. It was hard enough having the whole world already holding him to such high expectations, he didn't want to disappoint anyone. When Steve was with Hayley, Captain America didn't exist. It was just Steve Rogers, the same kid from Brooklyn.
''I'm not gonna make you go,'' Hayley sighed, reaching over to place her hand on his shoulder. ''Just know, my parents asked if Steve Rogers would like to come, not Captain America. Because that's who my friend is and that's who I tell my mom about and that's who I want them to know,''
A smile crept onto Steve's lips as he took in her words. Everyday Hayley said things that made him wonder how he was lucky enough to be considered a friend to her,.
''You tell your mom about me?'' he asked with a soft grin.
Hayley rolled her eyes and stood up from the couch, picking up a pillow to throw in his face as she walked toward the kitchen.
It had been quite some time since Hayley shared the room with Dr Rafferty. The first thing she noticed about his office was that he had acquired a new clock. The older one was much easier to see, this one was smaller and the numbers required you to squint. It made you really work toward counting down however long you had to spend in here.
''How have you been Private O'Connor?'' the doctor asked, folding one leg over the other and opened a new page in his notebook.
''I assume we're talking post-alien battle here,''
''Well, yes,'' he nodded, fixing his glasses. ''I understand you were injured,''
''Barely, but yes. Nothing a few stitches couldn't fix,'' Hayley told him with a light smile, desperately trying to show him it didn't bother her now.
Dr Rafferty stared back at her, analyzing her movements and the way she expressed her words. Hayley hated therapists, they always had a motive when they asked a question and it was such a high stress environment. Every word had to be carefully thought about before being spoken.
''You're here because you want to be an agent,'' he cleared his throat, changing the topic. ''Being cleared by me is the last step to that, correct?''
Hayley really hated this.
''It seems that way,''
''During your last visit with me I believe you were coming to terms with your diagnosis,'' Rafferty continued coolly. ''You haven't accepted prescriptions so I can't imagine sleep has been easy for you these past few months. Reviewing your file here, no PTSD workshops or sessions and no therapy. So, how are you feeling?''
Blood was beginning to draw from Hayley's lip where she was biting down. The way Rafferty spoke to her brought out all of her anxiety, it caused her more stress and anger than any of effects of her PTSD.
''I'm feeling great, honestly,'' she told him in a calm voice. ''Physically and mentally better than ever,''
''How have you coped without my recommended approaches?''
''I faced everything that scared me. I've got good friends, guess I just needed to stop doing it alone,'' she shrugged. ''I'm back to who I was before all of this. Not entirely, but almost''
Dr Raffery, for the first time in all her visits, gave Hayley a genuine smile of admiration. It wasn't a mocking smile, one that let her think he believed her words. It was a real and satisfied grin.
''Your assignment with Steve Rogers played a big part in your recovery, didn't it?'' he asked.
Hayley thought carefully about her words, not wanting to drag Steve into this, but wanting Rafferty to understand that she had definitely changed because of him.
''It did, yes. Being with someone who can relate to what I was going through, granted not to Mr Rogers extent, helped more than I thought,'' she admit.
''Accepting help isn't easy, but I'm glad it worked out for you,'' Rafferty nodded, scribbling something down in his notepad. ''Now, let's talk ways we can continue this positive growth you've gone through,''
Another day, another meeting with a shield officer. Becoming an agent was a tiresome and lengthy journey. Within just the week, Hayley had been in multiple offices on various levels of the building talking to higher ranks, forgetting names as soon as she walked out the door. All Hayley wanted was a mission, somewhere to begin.
Today was her final meeting, the final step in becoming Agent O'Connor. Being on the field for so many years took out a few of the tests that would normally be administered. But being in the field didn't give her a clear path to becoming an agent, it only took away a few of the hurdles.
''Agent Lewis,'' Hayley stood, extending her hand to the man who walked into the room.
''Hayley O'Connor,'' the man smiled, letting out a long sigh as he sat down across the table. ''It is good to finally see you again. Had me worried you weren't going to hand in that application,''
''Well it took a while but I eventually made my mind up,''
''It's a tough choice between the two fields. I worked in the defense unit during my first years, learned tactics that have helped me through my whole career,'' the man smiled, folding his arms as he leaned back into his chair. ''Now, I've received all your papers back from higher up and you've been cleared,''
Hayley blinked a few times, her gaze moving from the file on the table to Lewis' eyes. Every test she had done, every interview and questioning she sat through, she had passed them all. She was fit for duty.
''You look surprised,'' Lewis noticed.
''I'm just trying to take it all in,'' Hayley shook her head. ''It's not every day you're told you can be an agent,''
''Well you've deserved your day,'' he assured. ''But you'll be starting on a few smaller missions and then those will get reviewed for future operation and so on. Your first assignment will be coming up two weeks from now. Details will be discussed further on of course when we appoint a partner,''
''Partner?'' Hayley asked, confused. ''I didn't think the smaller missions required partners,''
Blake had filled Hayley in on almost everything about being an agent. She had been with him through the whole thing, she knew how it worked.
''We always appoint a partner for an agent's first mission, whether they work as a team or covertly, just in case anything goes wrong. Your first mission however does require two agents as it requires some undercover work and the assumption of a new identity,''
''Huh, kind of feels like a spy movie,'' Hayley chuckled, unable to hold back her inner thoughts.
''It does, but this is no movie, it's all real,'' he warned. ''In the meantime, I'd like you to use the SHIELD training facilities. I'll be assigning an agent to run through what you should be focusing on. You'll be hearing from me Agent O'Connor,''
Hayley nodded in understanding and appreciation, standing up and leaving as if she had just been briefed as a soldier. But she wasn't a Private any more. Agent O'Connor sounded funny in her head, but when Lewis called her Agent, Hayley was actually proud of herself, and she knew Nick would be too.
*Never Be The Same - The Rubens
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