A/N: I'm so stinking excited about this chapter. I loved reading everyone's guesses about what Leah wants to talk to Nessie about. I'd like to hear your thoughts about what actually happens! Things are about to pick up big time, and this chapter kind of gets the ball rolling.

I probably don't need to say this anymore, but I own nothing.

Enjoy!

Give Me a Sign

Chapter Twenty-Five

Natural Life

You're right; I can never lie
Let me go try to find a home
I can't wait—try to stay awake
Dead inside, bothered by the lie
You're right . . .

-Natural Life – Breaking Benjamin

Renesmee

"What does she want to talk to me about?" I asked Jake as he drove to Leah's.

He shrugged and glanced at me. "I don't know. I'd bet it has something to do with the wedding, though."

I licked my lips and nodded. Even though I tried to let it go, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd already been invited to the wedding, but maybe she wanted me to do something for her. If it wasn't about the wedding, there were so many possibilities, I'd actually worked myself up to almost worried by the time Jake pulled up to Leah's house.

"You okay, Ness?" he asked before we got out.

I nodded. "Yeah; just trying to figure out what she wants."

He smiled. "Don't worry about it, okay? She's not going to hurt you."

I laughed. Of course she wouldn't hurt me. Physically. Leah was a very straightforward person, though, and sometimes I just didn't know how to take some of the things she said and did. It was difficult to know when she was joking and when she was serious.

We walked up to the house, and Jake knocked twice before he just opened the door. "Leah, we're here," he called.

Leah came around the corner with a smile. "Hi, guys. Come on in. I'm just getting some stuff together, but I'll meet you in the basement in a second." She disappeared around the corner again. I looked up at Jake. He shrugged and led the way down the stairs.

There was a table set up in the middle of the room where we'd watched movies, and it had several different flower arrangements set up. Jake groaned.

"What?" I looked up at him.

He laughed, but it didn't seem like he thought anything was funny. "Flowers."

"Yeah?" I touched a tulip as I leaned in to smell it. I frowned a little when I realized it wasn't real. "They're pretty."

"I guess. I really don't want to help her pick out flowers."

I looked back at him with a smile. "Well, maybe this was what she wanted me for."

He chuckled and touched my back. "I can only hope."

A few minutes later, Leah came down the stairs and waltzed into the room. "Okay! Who's ready to get to work? Jake, please, please tell me you're willing to help? I need male perspective on these things. I can't trust myself anymore. I actually wanted to pick out pink chiffon the other day. I don't even know what chiffon is; it just sounded pretty."

She set two more bouquets on the table and looked up at him with wide, dark eyes. Jacob laughed. "I'm here, aren't I?"

She skipped around the table and hugged him. I was surprised by a flutter of jealousy, but I was able to squish it easily. Leah was his friend, and she already had a fiancé. No need to be worried about that.

"Thank you." She pulled back from him and turned to the table. "Which ones do you like best?"

He shrugged. "They're all weeds anyway."

I narrowed my eyes. "They're not weeds, Jake; they're flowers."

He looked over at me. "They're just nice-looking weeds."

I rolled my eyes. Men. "I like the tulips best."

Leah nodded. "I like those, too. But then the roses are gorgeous. And I really like the red and pink lilies." She sighed.

I stepped up closer to the table, beside Leah. "You could mix and match to make your own bouquet. Use the tulips, roses, and lilies."

She looked at me uncertainly. "I know I could, but that would look weird."

"Not if you did it right."

She pursed her lips. "All right, Flower Guru. Show me how it's done." She stepped back and gestured for me to play with the flowers.

I glanced at Jake. He gave me a look that said I'd gotten myself into this, I get myself out. I swallowed and turned back to the flowers. I started with the tulips, since I liked them the most. There were three different colors, so I loaded up on four white ones, two purple, and two yellow. Then I picked out three pink roses and made sure that they had at least one tulip separating them. When I had those ready, I picked out two lilies and arranged them among the others. It didn't look right. It was pretty, but it needed something else. I looked over the flowers on the table, trying to decide what would make it complete. I pursed my lips and carefully picked out four things of baby's breath, putting them throughout the bouquet. I smiled to myself; it was done.

"What do you think?" I asked as I turned to Leah. She quirked an eyebrow and looked over the flowers. I glanced at Jake, and I swear he looked proud.

"I think I like it," Leah said, nodding. "I have a ribbon we can tie it with." She got the ribbon, and I held the flowers while she tied it around the stems. When it was tied, she took the bouquet and smiled at it as she set it aside. "Do you think you could make like four or five little bouquets for the tables?" she asked.

I nodded. "Sure. Do you want them with the same flowers?"

She shrugged. "Whatever you want to use is fine. I trust your judgment." She kissed my cheek and handed the roll of ribbon to me. She turned to Jake and clapped her hands together. "You were spared of the weeds, but I need you upstairs."

He chuckled and came up to kiss my head. "Thanks, Ness. I'll be back in a bit, okay? You're okay with this?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine with this. You go do other stuff upstairs." I stood on my toes and kissed him. As Jake and Leah went upstairs, I got to work on the table bouquets. I decided to use the roses since Leah said she liked them the best, and I mixed them with smaller flowers like geraniums and pansies to make a smaller bouquet. I'd done three of the bouquets when I heard someone come down the stairs. I peeked over my shoulder, a little surprised to see Leah.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

I smiled and held up the flowers I was tying together. "Doing great. I'm almost done; just two more to do."

She nodded and looked over the ones I'd already done. "These are beautiful. Thank you so much for all your help."

I nodded. "You're welcome. Where's Jake?"

She smiled. "He's upstairs picking out hors d'oeuvres. I think he's happy that he gets to work on food."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."

She leaned back against the table and sighed. My heart rate picked up, and I got nervous. I had a feeling that she was about to bring up whatever it was she'd wanted to talk to me about.

"So how are you and Jake doing?" she asked, looking down at the floor.

I shrugged, not sure she could see it. "We're doing okay."

She looked up at me. "I hear you're going to start therapy soon?"

My fingers stopped on the flowers I was holding. "Jake told you about that?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to be upset or not. I knew Jake talked to Leah a lot, and that they talked about me, but wasn't that a little personal?

She nodded. "Yeah. I think it's great, you know. He really cares about you." I nodded. I knew he cared about me, but why would he talk to her about that? "He just wants you to be happy and healthy. He knows that if they can help you, you'll be able to think about your dad and everything without freaking out."

Freaking out? Was that what Jake had said; that I 'freak out' when I thought about my dad? My stomach hurt, and I felt tears in my eyes. I just nodded again and turned to the table, trying really hard to keep the tears from falling. I couldn't really say why it hurt so badly.

"What's wrong?" Leah asked.

I shook my head and picked out two more pansies. She put her hands on mine, and I looked up to meet her eyes. She looked really concerned. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

I shook my head again. "No, it's fine. I do freak out. I just didn't know he said it like that."

I was confused when she pulled me into a hug. "He doesn't, Ness. He doesn't say it like that. I just don't know how to be sensitive sometimes, and I'm sorry."

I was a little relieved. "I guess I'm just overly sensitive. It's okay." I patted her back. She squeezed me lightly before she stepped back.

"Okay. What I really wanted to talk to you about actually has nothing to do with you and therapy. I want to talk to you about Jake and therapy."

I sniffled and raised my eyebrow. "Jake and therapy? I don't think he's going. I mean, he'll be there with me, but he hasn't said anything about going for himself."

She nodded. "I know, but that's what this is about. I want you to talk to him about it. He wants you to go so you'll be happy and comfortable, right? Well, right now he's just taking medicine that makes him calm some of the time. If he saw someone, there's a really good chance he'd be happy and comfortable all the time. Yeah, he'd still have issues because he's still bipolar, but the same would be with you. You'll probably still have times when you cry like before, but you'll be okay. I want Jake to be okay, and I know you do, too."

I did want Jake to be okay. "So the medicine he takes doesn't really help?" I was confused; it seemed to help.

"Well, yeah, it helps. It keeps him from being so angry all the time that he hurts himself or other people. But even with the medicine, he's upset. I'm not saying that therapy alone would cure everything; he probably does still need medicine. But his doctor is just prescribing whatever sounds good. I doubt he even knows what he's prescribing. A therapist would talk to him, find out what exactly he needs, and go from there. He wouldn't just reach in a hat for the next medication. Think about it, Nessie. He needs to go."

The thought of Jake taking something that even the doctor couldn't explain made me nervous. It did seem to help, but it was still scary. "Have you talked to him about it?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I have. He won't listen to me. He had one bad experience with a therapist and won't go back."

I furrowed my brow. "He's only told me about one therapist, when he was first diagnosed."

"Yeah, that was his bad experience. He told me about it, and I can't really blame him. The woman put him through anger management, but instead of encouraging him, she was disappointed when he didn't show results right away."

I nodded. "So you want me to talk to him? Why would he listen to me if he won't listen to you?"

She smiled. "Because he loves you, and he would do it for you if you ask him. I'm not saying you won't have to ask a few times, or that he won't fight you, but if you beg him, he'll do it. Tell him you won't go unless he does."

I couldn't do that to him. Not after I'd already said I'd go. And even if I did, he'd find some way around it. I was sure of it. "I'll talk to him about it, but I won't tell him that."

She hugged me again. "Thank you, Nessie. I know he'll do it for you."

I hoped so, because just like Jake wanted me to be happy, I wanted him to be happy. Just as Leah was pulling away, we heard footsteps on the stairs. She pulled back and started looking over the bouquet's I'd already finished. I took the hint and picked out a few more flowers to finish the one I had in my hand.

"You guys still down here?" Jake asked. "I finished what you wanted me to do. Why the fuck do you think you need that much food?"

"For the guests, of course," Leah laughed.

Jake looked between us for a second. I tried really hard to make it look like I wasn't hiding anything. "What's going on? You two look weird."

Leah turned around and hugged me again, this time from behind me. I was surprised. "We were making out. It was hot. You missed it all." My eyes widened, and I turned to see her face. She winked at me and kissed my cheek before she pulled away.

Jake chuckled and went to sit on the couch. "Dammit. That would have been hot."

I blushed and hurried to finish the last bouquet. When it was done, I turned to Leah. "Do you need me to do any more?"

She shook her head as she started to put the flowers in a box. "Nope, that's all I needed for today. Thank you both for your help; it got done faster than I thought it would."

I nodded and went over to Jake. He got up before I could sit down and put his arm around my shoulders. "Anytime, Leah. You sure you're done with us?"

She smiled and walked over to hug him. "I'm sure. I'll see what else needs to be done and probably call you in a few days."

He laughed and kissed her head. I tried not to narrow my eyes. "'Kay." He looked down at me. "You ready to go?"

I nodded and hugged Leah quickly, then we left. As soon as we were in the car and out of the driveway, Jake looked over at me. "So what were you and Leah talking about?" he asked.

I tried to look like I wasn't lying. "Nothing much. I showed her what I'd done with the flowers, and she told me that she liked them." I stared at my hands as I spoke, knowing he'd catch me if I looked at him.

"Hmm. Okay." It was plain in his voice that he didn't believe me. He was probably going to drag it out of me, and I didn't mind telling him once we got back to my house. He was quiet as he drove, and I didn't feel any pressing need to break the silence. I tried to think of how I would bring everything up. I had a few ideas, but I hadn't decided on anything when we got back.

Jake came in with me and shut the door behind him. "How are you doing?" he asked as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm okay." I hugged him tightly.

"What did you and Leah talk about?"

I sighed and looked up at him. "It's just eating at you not knowing, isn't it?" I smiled.

He smirked and kissed me. "I just know how Leah is, and I want to make sure I don't need to chew her out for anything."

I nodded. If he didn't want to listen to Leah when she talked about therapy, he probably wouldn't be very happy that she'd talked to me about it. "Well, she said she was happy that I was going to be starting therapy. I was a little surprised that she knew about that."

He ran his fingers through my hair. "I talk to her about everything. I always have. I'm sorry if it upset you."

I shook my head. "No, I'm okay. I don't mind; it was just surprising."

He kissed my forehead. "Okay. Did she say anything else?"

I swallowed. "Yeah, kind of. Um, could we sit down?"

His brow furrowed, but he nodded and sat down on the couch. I sat next to him and licked my lips. "So what did she say?"

"Well, um . . . she asked me to talk to you about something." I looked up at him, and I swear his eyes darkened.

"About what?" It was subtle, but his voice was just a little bit harder, too.

I took a deep breath. "About therapy. She wants you to go, too."

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Okay, what if I said I want you to go, too?"

He met my eyes for a second. "I will be going with you, Nessie. You know that."

I licked my lips again and turned my body to see him better. "I know, Jake. But you want me to go so I can be happy, right? If they can help me, I won't have such a hard time remembering my dad and all that. What if they can help you, too? She told me that the doctor just gives you medicine without really knowing what it is. That's not very healthy."

His jaw was clenched, and he was breathing heavier than usual. "I can't believe this shit."

"Jake, please. Don't take it out on her. If I didn't think it was a good idea, I wouldn't have brought it up. I would have told her I wasn't going to talk to you about it. But I do think it's a good idea, and I think you should consider it."

"Why, Nessie? My doctor is fine." He pulled away from me, clearly angry. He leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees. His fingers clasped together, and he stared at them as he spoke again. "I don't need a fucking shrink."

Something inside me bristled when he said that. I wasn't sure if it was because he was denying his need for some kind of help with his anger when he was so angry, or if it was because he thought I needed a 'fucking shrink' when he didn't.

"Listen to yourself, Jake," I said, leaning forward. "You're angry right now."

He looked up and met my eyes. "Yes, I am angry right now, Nessie. I'm pissed off because I've talked to Leah about this and she knows where I stand. She knows I'm not going back. They can't do shit for me anyway. It pisses me off that she went to you to get to me."

"She's just concerned about you."

He sighed. "She doesn't need to be. I'm fine."

I closed my eyes for a second to try to gather my thoughts. "What if I told you that I'm asking you because I want you to go? Not because of Leah, but because of me?"

I opened my eyes to see him shaking his head. "It has everything to do with Leah. If she hadn't stuck her nose where it doesn't belong, you wouldn't even be asking me. I don't need to see anyone, Ness. I'm fine."

He could say he was fine until he was blue in the face, but the fact was that he was getting upset just because Leah asked me to talk to him. I wasn't sure if that would ever stop, but I could have hope that he'd be happier. "I know you think you're fine, but what if they could help you more? At least give you medicine that they know something about. Leah told me why you don't want to go, and I think that's silly. If I went based on the first therapist we saw, I'd never go to anyone. You know that not everyone is the same. There's got to be someone out there who can help you."

"If I agree to think about it, will you back the fuck off?"

I sat back, surprised. I felt a hard tug in my chest, and my stomach hurt. "If you really want me to back the fuck off, Jake, I will. But you just remember all those times you asked me to think about something and I did it for you." I didn't understand why he could ask me to consider something, but I couldn't ask him.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds before he met my eyes again. "Fine. I'll think about it. I really will think about it, Ness, but on one condition."

I swallowed. "What's that?"

"Move in with me."

I couldn't really react for a second. I should have known that would be his condition. Didn't he understand that I couldn't do that? "Jake, I—"

"If you want me to even think about this, Nessie, you have to agree to move in with me."

I stood up. "I can't do that. I won't do that to you. I really wish you would stop being so unfair."

He stood up with me. "How am I being unfair? You're the one that brought up the things I've asked you to consider. I've given you plenty of time to think about moving in with me. Unless you can give me a damn good reason why you can't, then that is my condition for therapy."

If he wanted reasons, I would give him reasons. I was so upset I didn't care that he was going to dismiss everything I was about to say. "I can give you several good reasons. I love you too much to let you do that. You should know by now that I'm not the easiest person to live with. All of your windows have to be blocked all the time, and I won't be able to help with any yard work. I can't cook worth shit. I can clean, but that's pretty much it. You'll get sick of me, Jake." Why in the world would he want to share his house with me?

"That's bullshit. None of those are good reasons, and we've already been over this. I'm not going to get sick of you. For the love of God, please stop being difficult and just understand that I want to help you and take care of you because I love you." He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

I sniffled. He'd put my options in front of me, and now I had to choose. If I gave in, he would think about going to therapy. I didn't like that. "If I agree to move in with you, I want you to do more than just think about going to therapy. I want you to really look into it like I am. Talk to the people we go to see with me."

"Okay. You move in with me, and I see a shrink with you."

I sighed. I didn't like this. "Okay."

He smiled. "Really?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

He pulled me into a tight hug. "Don't act like it's the worst thing in the world, Ness, please? Would you rather be homeless than live with me?"

I looked up at him. "No, Jake, that's not it at all. I love you, and I do want to be with you . . . I'm just scared."

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "I know. It's okay to be scared, baby, but you need to trust me, okay? I'm not going to get sick of you or ask you to leave. Ever. Okay?"

I wanted so badly to believe him. I sniffled and put my forehead on his chest. "I'll try."

He leaned down, and I felt him nod against my hair. "Thank you."

A/N: Sooo . . . what did ya think? Thanks so much for reading!