John found Jerrod in their shared room. Jerrod was laying on his bed, turned on his side and away from the door. John knew he wasn't asleep.
"Wanna talk?" John asked.
"Nope."
John sighed and rubbed his face.
"Turn around."
Jerrod didn't comply. John forcibly turned him without much of a struggle. Jerrod was holding his knife and John saw deep gashes in the wall next to his bed.
"Well at least it's the wall." John scolded.
"What, do you think I'm emo or something?"
"I wouldn't put it past you."
"Screw you John!"
"Screw me? Screw you!"
Jerrod sat up and swung his legs out onto the floor. John tensed for a fight but one didn't begin. Jerrod clenched and unclenched his hand and chewed on his lower lip.
"We should've done something..."
"Like what?" John asked expectantly.
"Kill that asshole! Both of them!"
"Really? So you would've just shot them right then and there, huh tough guy?"
"If I had a gun I,"
"Shut up! Killing isn't that easy, and killing someone like Ricardo sure as hell wouldn't have been easy."
"You did it easily enough with a damn pot!"
John lost his voice from that. He felt himself scowling at Jerrod but the younger boy's eyes looked triumphant.
"Where'd your guts go John?"
"They sank to the bottom of my stomach Jerrod. I've killed only two people, two! But I feel like I've killed two hundred. The thought of going any farther is..."
"Fun." Jerrod cut in with a disturbingly serious tone.
"Whatever man." John scoffed.
He stormed out of the room in anger at Jerrod's stubbornness. Jerrod remained, he tossed his knife at the wall. It stuck awkwardly, but didn't fall. The rest of the night the two boys didn't speak to each other. Rather they both messaged a sympathetic ear.
Anastasia ignored the beeping of her omni tool for the moment. The final customer in a long line of confused, angry, or dim witted people approached her with an outfit in hand.
"Excuse me, you don't have my size." The plus, plus, plus sized woman stated.
Anastasia only needed a glance to notice that the outfit was the largest variety they carried.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid that is the largest size we have available." Anastasia explained politely.
"You know what? You guys should really think it through before you make these things when it comes to sizes!" The woman said, dropping the outfit onto the counter.
"Ma'am, we don't make the clothing..."
"Good!" The woman exclaimed before storming off.
Anastasia waited until she was out of ear shot and snickered wildly. She locked the door to the store for the night and took outfit back to it's place. She checked her omni tool while she did.
Big J: I just don't know what to do about him.
Little J: He's being a prick!
"Oh, you two." She said to herself tiredly.
She walked to the back area to gather her things out of her locker. She replied to them both.
You better figure it out, who else is going to if not his big bro?- Big J
Calm down Jerrod, you don't mean that.- Little J
She punched out and left through the back exit. The shopping strip was still bustling with people crowding the late night shops, and with people loitering with their friends and family. She made her way towards the landing pads, and he omni tool went off again.
Big J: Well thanks for not pressuring me...why doesn't his big sis say something?
Little J: Don't tell me to calm down. He's always talking down to me, it pisses me the fuck off!
She got into her hovercraft and strapped herself in. She had forgotten again to turn off her radio before exiting and the music assaulted her ears. It took her by surprise and she fumbled for the volume control. She turned it down and waited for her ears to stop ringing. Two more beeps from her omni tool came as soon as they did.
Little J: Sorry.
Little J: For swearing so much I mean.
It's fine.- Little J
Why would anything I say calm him down, if you can't?- Big J
Anastasia took off and was soon zooming through the airways. Her work was a trip away from home but with the traffic being dead at this hour, she was making good time. Her omni tool went off twice more but she refused to check it while flying; she had already gotten a ticket twice for that. Being stuck in the middle of John and Jerrod's quarrel had already exhausted her more than work had. It wasn't the first time they bickered with each other, and every time she had to be the mediator.
She landed two blocks from the Reds base. The under city, despite never having direct sunlight, grew darker still at night. Fortunately thousands of lights from business and machinery provided enough light to see. She checked her messages as she walked.
Big J: You've got a way with words! And that motherly aura about you.
You saying I'm old?!- Big J
Big J: Older than me, heh.
"Uh, you little dummy!" Anastasia exclaimed aloud.
She picked up her pace, becoming more and more eager to get home. It was not lost upon here that the streets became more dangerous at this hour. She could feel the stares of people she passed, of people across the street, of people staring at here from alleys, windows, and parked hover crafts. She was not so naive as to believe that she went untouched because the people were not all that bad; she knew she had a reputation. A member, unofficially, of the Reds, and a girl no less. The other gang members reacted badly when a boy from their group was wronged. The few incidents when it was a female member were even worse.
Anastasia shook her head free of those thoughts. She did not support the gang lifestyle, especially not the crazy violent criminals that originated from them, but she could not be such a hypocrite as to condemn them entirely. Her father had been a part of this game for as long as she could remember. So have John and Jerrod. She loved them too much to judge them harshly.
She arrived home, the Reds base, soon enough. The night was young and teens and adults still skulked about the hallways. An elevator ride was all it took to separate the few floors with rabble from the rest of the floors, the Reds territory, official by street credibility alone. Despite this being the base of 'operations', few members actually stayed here. So the halls were quiet, and dark. She stopped on here way at a door that had light shining through a space between the sliding rail and the wall frame. The door swished open at her touch and she stepped into Jerrod's room. Four lights placed around the room kept up a barrier against the shadows of the dark room. Jerrod was sprawled across his bed, with his back propped up against the wall and his face buried in a data pad.
"Evening." Jerrod greeted.
"Evening..." She replied.
She stepped towards him and, playfully with one finger, lowered the data pad so she could see. He did not resist, smirking.
"50,000 Shades of Gray?What, a, perv!" She teased.
"Its not just about the crazy sex. Its a legitimate romance!"
"With whipping and spanking?"
Jerrod titled the data pad back up, hiding a face that legitimately looked like it had been attacked.
"Love hurts." He added, with a surprisingly serious tone.
Anastasia pressed her full lips thinly, she could tell from his tone that his characteristic sensitivity was acting up. She laid down across his legs, propping her head up on her elbow. She noticed suddenly a knife stabbed into the wall, two feet above their heads. She looked at Jerrod again and found him staring at her, his look being one of shock and shame. He aggressively reached up and yanked the blade out of the wall and tossed it across the room, making a loud bang and then falling out of sight.
"Jerry..." Anastasia said.
'What?!" He snapped.
She did not give a reply immediately, she merely looked him over. He diffused himself in moments under her gaze.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"How was work?"
"Eh, horrible as always. How was your day?"
"Eh."
"Don't 'eh' me Jerry. I've gotten an earful over text messages from you already, I know a little more than 'eh' happened."
"Why don't you ask mister know it all?"
"I will, after I get the story from mister implacably resentful!"
"The story is..."
Jerrod thought it over in his head. He knew that Anastasia knew he and John were occasionally sent to get their fingers dirty. But to have come as close as they have to possibly dying, he did not think he should be spreading that around. He could not worry her like that.
"Is that no matter what, he treats me like I'm stupid, and I can't handle myself. Everyone does."
"He doesn't think you're stupid Jerry. No one does. And if they do...fuck em!"
"Woah!" Jerrod exclaimed, for Anastasia rarely swore, if ever.
"I hope you enjoyed that, because it won't be happening again anytime soon. There's only two people whom you need to worry about, when they think about you."
"Oh?"
"John..." She accentuated.
Jerrod rolled his eyes. She poked his belly, making him giggle involuntarily. When their eyes met, she gave him a look of absolute care and attention. Jerrod was so overwhelmed, he could not stop his grin from quivering to hold back tears.
"And me." She added.
He held one of her hands in his, caressing it warmly with his thumb.
"John is gonna look out for you; you're the little brother he never had. And the both of you boys are the little brothers I never had, so you're gonna get it twice as bad from me."
Jerrod had to blink rapidly to hold the tears at bay.
"I think I'll live." He said.
"You better. I can't lose you Jerry. So make nice with Johnny, and no more, knives, please. For me."
Jerrod only nodded, he could not form any words to compliment this tenderness. She smiled and squeezed his hand before getting off his legs. She spared him a wave goodbye as the door closed behind her.
Jerrod put down the data pad, feeling the residual warmth left behind from her leave his legs.
"For you."
As Anastasia stepped out of the room she bumped into someone who was standing just off to the side. She grabbed them to steady herself, placing a hand on a stiff should and another on a firm and somewhat bulging bicep.
"Excuse,"
"You!" John finished.
"Oh, what are you doing just standing out here?"
"Spying, gathering intel. I was coming to talk to him, but I heard you two and stayed back."
"And what've you gathered secret agent dummy?" Anastasia teased.
They started walking down the hallway together, towards her room.
"I learned that you have way better people skills than I do."
"Well, I am real charming!"
"My lucky charm."
"I'm your lucky charm?" She asked with amusement.
"Yep. Jerrod might've killed me by tomorrow had you not talked him down." John joked.
Anastasia got quite after he said that. John let the silence linger, and analyzed her. She looked to be deep in thought, examining her response.
"Whats wrong?" John asked.
"You shouldn't joke about things like that. Especially when it comes to Jerrod."
"You're taking this to heart?"
"You know how important you guys are to me, I don't like it when you fight about anything. And...its dangerous."
"What is?"
They had reached Anastasia's room. The door opened and they stepped in. John rarely came into her room, he did not have any need to and he felt it was rude unless asked. He took note of how it looked. Girly, but mature, beyond her age. Anastasia sat on her bed and John pulled up a chair.
"I'm not stupid John,"
"I never said you were!"
"I know! I know. I'm just saying, I know that you guys are banging out there, running drugs and stuff, flying the colours maybe. It's dangerous stuff."
"We do it because,"
"Its stupid!" She suddenly snapped.
John stayed quiet for the moment. She was staring at him intensely, not angrily, but with concern and sadness.
"Its the life we have. It provides. I don't like it either." John said softly.
"I know you don't, and thats what makes me happy. You're better than that, and because of my dad you're caught up in it. Do you ever wish,"
"No!" John cut in.
"I was gonna say,"
"You were gonna say, "Do I ever wish that I had done things differently?". Hell no."
"Hell no huh?" She asked tiredly.
"Your dad is a better man than he gives himself credit for, and as gangs go, this one is pretty, 'classy'. I've had a better life with it than I ever would have at that damn orphanage. To be honest Anastasia, I probably wouldn't be alive right now if I had stayed. I wouldn't take back a single thing. It got me you..."
She looked up at him expectantly. A lump in his throat stopped what he wanted to say, what he had been feeling for years.
"And it got me Jerrod."
"Jerrod..."
"You said it was dangerous, a few minutes ago, when it comes to Jerrod? What did you mean?"
She looked like she was struggling to accept what she was about to say. She looked like she hated herself for it.
"He's not right John. Don't get me wrong; I love him so much, but he's not right. The knives, the impulsiveness, and have you seen the way he looks at people? He looks like,"
"He wants to hurt everyone and everything." John said.
"I wasn't gonna say that."
"You didn't want to say it."
"Why are you being so cynical?"
"Hey, you brought it up not me. I just speaking from what I see. You aren't wrong. I can, empathize with him."
"Meaning?"
"I don't really know, its too scary a thought to voice."
"John, if he's like this already, just think about what he would be liable to do when pushed?"
Like what I've already been pushed to do. John thought.
"I won't let him get to that point. I promise. I promise you." John told her.
John realized that, by making that promise, he would be choosing to cut off Jerrod from the part of his life that Alexander had just invited him into. But he would do it. He would step up to Alexander's plans, he would defend his people from the likes of Ricardo, and he would keep Jerrod from falling as low as he had. All for her.
As I have now updated on my profile, I have not been around for a long time. I'll admit to you, the reason is because I was in jail. I had no internet access and I wasn't in any mood to be writing, as I'm sure you could understand. I hope that any readers that may have been frustrated can forgive me. It's gonna be tough getting back into the rhythm of things, but I hope to get back on track.