I am very excited that I have an update for you! I hope to have a few more chapters coming soon! We have a bit of a flashback that I have thoroughly enjoyed writing. I will do my best to respond to reviewers as I really appreciate those who take the time to let me know what they thought.
She rolled over in bed to find her husband leaned against his elbow staring at her with a content smile. After blinking the sleep away and letting a yawn pass, she stared back at him. They were still for a moment. Slowly, he raised his hand to her hip and caressed her side up to her neck. His fingers found purchase through the hair at the base of her neck and his thumb ran gently over her cheek. He pulled her close to him and planted a loving kiss on her lips. She moved away first and rested her head on his pillow.
"It's only one week," he said into her ear.
"Yes, but 6 nights," she answered scooting closer to him.
Judging by the sliver of light just beginning to show, It was time for them to begin their long day. He closed his eyes to briefly block out the events that were to come.
"Are you sure you will be alright with both of them? I could bring Grace with me," he offered.
"I'm sure. I don't want to add complications to your ride or to your first day back."
The end of the season meant it was time to transfer back to Downton. Charles always went back a day earlier than the family and that was not to change. Elsie needed to stay in London for a couple days to close the house. They decided Grace and William would stay with Elsie so Charles could focus on the transfer of the luggage and did not have to worry about a 4 year old running loose. Miss Baxter was to stay and return with Elsie and the children.
"I am only trying to take away some complications from you. I don't envy you staying on here with our two beasties on your own."
She let out a grunt and turned up to look at him. "I am thankful that Miss Baxter will be here. Otherwise I may have sent them both with you."
"Well then I will give her my deepest thanks." He balked at the thought of keeping track of both of them by himself for a weeks time without his wife.
She snuggled in tightly to his chest. "This week should actually be a bit of a holiday for me." He pulled her away so he could see her face and attempted to understand her meaning. "I only have two children to look after instead of an entire aristocratic family, a staff of over 10 people, and a needy husband on top of that."
Charles rolled his eyes. "Oh, my heart goes out for you."
They laughed for a moment before she turned around on the bed and let him spoon behind her.
"I'll miss you. All of you," he said to her ear.
"I know." She stroked his hand that came to rest on her hip. "We should get up."
He squeezed her thigh gently. "But I don't want to leave yet."
She reluctantly pulled herself upright and began to stand. "This isn't goodbye, love. We will walk you to the station, just the three of us."
"Good," he said, submitting to the inevitable. "I will need a proper goodbye then."
As it turned out, almost the entire staff found a reason to walk with them later that morning. The footmen and hall boys helped with the luggage. Anna and Miss Baxter went to ensure the ladies cases were accounted for. Mr. Bates accompanied his wife. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy planned to stop in at a few stores before their departure the following day.
It was a pleasant day for a walk. The air was not quite so thick and hot as usual. There was a slight breeze that helped compensate for the warm sun beating down.
Elsie carried William and Charles walked hand in hand with Grace, relishing in these last few moments with her. Once at the station, Charles took charge of the luggage making sure all was accounted for and ordering his footmen this way and that. Elsie corralled Grace and William into a corner of the station where they could move about, but she could keep track of them. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy stayed nearby, waiting for the train to leave before they began their shopping.
After his third check, Charles closed his ledger as the cargo train shut it's doors. The train hissed, ready to take off. He gestured his thanks to the staff helpers and dismissed them from their duty. He walked towards his little family, parked near the third class train car.
"Gracie, come give your da a proper goodbye."
His daughter ran to his crouched form and jumped into his arms. He lifted her to the sky before her head settled on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his neck. "Love you da." She kissed his cheek.
Over Grace's shoulder, he saw his dismissed staff accumulating around him with smirks adorning every face.
He turned Grace around and whispered, "I love you too, my girl." He kissed her forehead. "Be a helper to your mummy, alright."
"Yes, da," she said sliding down his front.
Next, he reached for William who was holding his mummy's hand. William took the two steps to his da. Charles held his hands as he stood on his own.
"Don't you go giving your mother grief with your newfound skill, my little lad."
William giggled at his da and touched his nose.
Charles kissed William's hand and then his forehead before leading him back to his mummy.
Mrs. Patmore took William's hand and brought him to her side, freeing Elsie to give her proper goodbye.
Charles sighed as he stepped to his wife, but his eyes were fixed on the crowd surrounding them.
"Well, Mr. Carson," Elsie began, amused at her obviously disappointed husband. "So much for your proper goodbye."
He grunted and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pulled her a few steps away from the group so the couple could not be overheard.
"I believe this is as private as we're going to get," he said finally looking at her face.
She took his hand in hers. "One week, love."
"One very long week without the three of you…"
His next thought was cut off by the train whistle.
She patted his hand and shuffled on her feet preparing to depart. "You best go on. I wouldn't want you to miss the train."
He nodded and also prepared for the inevitable. "One week, Els." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, very aware of his audience. "I love you."
She nodded, turning her head down. "I love you too. Please telephone when you arrive."
He nodded and took a step back, glancing at Grace and William before turning around.
He only made it about three steps before he turned back to her abruptly. Cursing under his breath, he moved back to her side. Without hesitation or warning, he pulled her head and waist to him as he planted his lips squarely on hers. When he felt her arms wrap forcefully around her neck, he pulled her tighter and deepened their kiss.
The second train whistle forced him to pull away, but not before giving her one more chase kiss on the corner of her mouth. He hurried to his third class compartment, as eager to get away from that group as to catch his train.
Elsie wouldn't say she was surprised that her husband gave her a proper goodbye, she was astonished. She couldn't remember a time when he kissed her cheek in front of the staff, let alone such a passionate display. That kiss still had her heart pounding. She was even more convinced that this would be a very long week. They were forced to part for the season in years past, but for the past 4 years, they spend every day with each other.
She watched the train jolt from it's standstill and chug along towards Downton. She waited until it turned the corner and escape her view before glancing at their audience.
The staff forced themselves to turn away trying to hid their gleeful smirks. Mrs. Patmore and Anna were the only two brave enough to look directly at the Scott. Their gooey eyes and pleased sighs told her they were enjoying themselves.
Grace held Williams hand and showed him where the train disappeared. "Don't worry, Will-am. Da will be back soon," she assured him.
Elsie walked back to her clan, lifted William to her hip, and took Grace's hand. "Thank you for looking after William, Grace."
Grace nodded and her lip stuck out involuntarily.
Elsie noticed the change in her daughter. "What is it Gracie."
Her lip protruded further and she blinked her eyes. "He's coming back?" she asked. "I want da to come back."
Elsie bit her own lip, finding it hard to see her daughter distraught and fearful of being left again. She squatted the best she could with William in her arms and lifted Grace's face to hers. "Oh my love, your da would never leave even for a short time if he didn't have to. Da's going back to Downton and we will join him in only one week." She wiped a few tears that managed to fall on Grace's cheeks.
Grace nodded, though not entirely sure she was okay with this arrangement.
"How would you like to sleep with me tonight, love?"
Grace lifted her head and nodded it quickly. Not able to hold herself together any longer, she fell into her mummy's side and nuzzled her head against her shoulder.
Anna lifted William from Elsie's side, freeing Elsie's arms to wrap around her little girl. Grace maneuvered herself closer to her mummy and strataled her bent knees. Grace was getting quite big for Elsie to carry, but she stood without complaint and motioned for the staff to begin their walk to Grantham House.
Elsie removed Grace's little hat so she could rest her head comfortably on her shoulder. Grace's forehead rested on Elsie's neck and she stuck her thumb in her mouth.
Elsie felt and heard her daughter's sniffles as they walked. Anna walked behind her with William in tow. The lad sensed something was wrong and pulled forward towards his mummy. He decided he didn't want to be held by Anna anymore and let her know it with a cry.
"Shhh," Elsie turned to see her boy reaching his little arms towards her. "You must wait until we get home, love. Mummy can't carry you both."
William didn't understand or accept his mummy's words and tried again to stretch his arms to her shoulder letting out a more insistent cry followed by a "Mum, mum, mum."
Elsie sighed. This would be a long week.
The walk back to the house took much longer than it did before. Anna set a now sobbing William down once they got inside. He latched to Elsie's skirts as soon as his feet hit the ground. William's cries only fueled Grace's. Elsie managed to walk into her sitting room without trampling her son. She sat in the chair closest to the door. Grace positioned herself on one leg and Elsie pulled William on the other. She leaned back and let out a deep breath.
She took a firm but gentle voice. "Gracie, you've had your cry and now you must stop. You're upsetting William."
Grace pulled her tighter, but simmered her tears.
"We will see da soon and talk to him on the telephone everyday."
That news made Grace turn her head. "I talk to da?" she asked.
"Certainly. You and William. Your da said he would call right when he arrived at Downton."
"Can I talk to him now?" she asked.
Elsie smiled and shook her head. "No Gracie. Da is still on the train."
She processed that information. Meanwhile, William stopped his weeping and was content to lay against his mummy. Elsie was trying to think of a way to occupy her two children so she could do some work.
"Mummy," Grace called.
"Yes, love?" Elsie maneuvered her arm so her fingers could brush Grace's hair.
"Do you miss him?"
Elsie smiled down at Grace. "Of course I do. I miss him very much. But, this time, I know I will see him very soon." There was a touch of sadness and reflection in her voice.
Grace noticed. "Did he go away before?" she asked innocently.
Elsie moved Grace farther back on her knee so she could see her face. "First off, I hope you know that your da would never leave either of us if he didn't have to. He loves all of us so much, as do I."
Grace nodded, but kept listening. Her question had not been answered yet.
"Yes," Elsie began. "There was a time when I didn't see your da for a couple months. And I missed him very much."
"How much is months?" Grace asked curiously.
"It's… too long, love." Elsie decided to forgo that explanation for another time.
Grace was still confused and sad at her mummy's admission. She didn't want to think about her da leaving them for a long time.
Elsie settled down ready to continue her story and hopefully cheer up her girl. "It was right before you were born, love. You were tucked up in here." She motioned to her stomach.
Grace scooted further away to get a good look at her mummy. "Tell me the story!"
Elsie was glad to see Grace's mind was off her own problems. "I'll start at the beginning." She glanced at William who was still content. "Your da and I were married for almost 7 years when I found out I had a little Grace in my tummy."
She tickled Grace's belly and sent her into giggles.
"I went to see the doctor that morning and couldn't wait to tell your da."
Four and a Half Years ago…
She had to see him. It wouldn't feel real until she saw him. She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit to thinking of how this moment would play out countless times since they married. She walked right into his pantry without even taking off her gloves or hat.
She stood in the door and watched him at his desk. "I'm back, Mr. Carson." Her red face still stung from the cold autumn day, but she was sure no one would guess the dampness under her eyes were from happy tears instead of the weather.
Mr. Carson was bent over his ledgers double checking he had the correct wine in stock for the family dinner. "Ah, Mrs. Hughes. I thought you would be out most of the day. It's not even lunch time."
Elsie felt her heart race and there was no possible way to contain her smile. She closed the door behind her, without looking away from her secret husband.
Charles noticed she closed the door after she entered. "What is it? Is something the matter?" He just noticed the odd look on her face. The more he gazed at her, her odd look was on more than just her face. It seemed to consume her.
"I'm fine, really… And everything is fine… Wonderful, actually." Elsie managed to break her gaze from her husband. She tried to compose herself and follow through with her plan.
Mr. Carson stayed sitting at his desk, but his interest grew. He made sure the doors were closed before whispering, "Elsie, where did you go today?"
She sat down across from him and folded her tingling hands in her lap. "I planned on going to the post office and pop in some shops, but I never got there." She bit her lip to cover her smirk.
"And why not?" he returned to his ledgers momentarily.
She swallowed, and stood. As she walked home that morning, this scene played in her head countless times. He would ask after her errands and she would brush him off before walking behind his desk, taking his hand, placing it over their growing babe, and watching his face as realization hit.
But before she had a chance to speak or even step closer to him, there was a knock and the door opened.
"Mr. Carson," Mr. Barrow began. "I wondered if we could discuss the footmen arrangement for tonight. We will be short one."
"Of course. We will need to readjust." Mr. Carson answered without hesitation. "Was there anything else Mrs. Hughes?"
She was suddenly very uncomfortable with her husband and Mr. Barrow in the room while she still held onto her secret. Her secret as well as their secret. Lord and Lady Grantham were the only two who knew about her identity as Mrs. Carson. Everyone else was in the dark about their second life. "No, Mr. Carson. I shall speak to you later."
Yes. Later when he was not so busy. Perhaps after lunch or before he began dinner service. For she knew one thing, she wouldn't be able to keep her secret for long.
After lunch she smuggled him into her pantry and shut the door behind them.
"Elsie," he whispered. "What is it you were trying to tell me earlier?"
"Charlie, why don't you sit down." She was growing giddy again.
He sat at her small table and she sat across from him. "Why don't we have Daisy bring us some tea? I could use some fortification before tonight."
Elsie brushed off his remark. After hearing her news, she could see him dropping a cup or spilling his tea all over his livery. No, tea was not a good idea.
"No tea, darling. And, yes, I do have something to tell you." She stood from her chair and walked towards him.
She stopped dead in her tracks as Mrs. Patmore opened the door without knocking. "I thought you could use some tea before they all descend."
"Ah, thank you Mrs. Patmore. This is just what I needed." He quickly poured himself a cup and one for Mrs. Hughes. He noticed a third cup on the tray. "Is there anything we need to discuss for this evening?" he directed towards the cook.
"Actually, there are a few details. I would feel better if we could iron them out before all hell breaks loose." Mrs. Patmore sat in Elsie's recently vacated chair across from the butler.
Neither saw the housekeeper's silent huff as she briefly turned away. This was not going as planned. She collected herself and sat in her desk chair, only half present in their conversation.
Would it be a girl or a boy? Who would it resemble most? They wouldn't be able to keep their secret, not with her looking like she swallowed a watermelon. How would the staff react? How would the family react? Would they have to move away? She tried to keep her thoughts away from the latter questions.
"What do you say, Mrs. Hughes?" Mrs. Patmore asked.
Hearing her name brought her back to earth. "I'm sorry Mrs. Patmore. I'm afraid I was wool gathering."
"I'd say so," the cook responded. "I would give me right arm to know what wool put that smile on your face and that gleam in your eye."
She must have blushed as she tried her best to brush off the comment. "You talk rubbish, Mrs. Patmore. Now, I thank you for this lovely tea, but I'm sure you are busy with dinner preparations as we should all be."
Mrs. Patmore stood as the housekeeper did. Mrs. Hughes opened her door and gave Mrs. Patmore no choice but to walk out.
"Well," the cook began. "I know when I'm not wanted. You don't have to tell me twice." There was certainly more than a hint of malice in her voice that Mrs. Hughes chose to ignore.
As she shut and locked the door, her husband stood.
"Elsie, that was quite rude and precarious I might add." They were always careful, extremely careful.
Elsie disregarded his chide. She was going to tell him if it killed her. "Sit down, Mr. Carson. And do not move until I tell you." Her voice was firm and filled with annoyance.
Charles sat, unsure how he earned her tone. "Els, what have I done to upset you so?"
"You've done nothing." Her voice suddenly softened and turned airy. "You've done everything."
He was even more confused than before. He began to stand in order to walk to her but she stopped him.
"I said don't move, Mr. Carson." To ensure he would follow her instructions, she plopped herself down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
Charles struggled against her. "Elsie! We can't. Not in the middle of the day? Surely someone will open that door any moment."
"No they won't. I locked it." She smiled mischievously and that made him nervous.
"Elsie…" he began, trying to warn her again.
"Shh," she quieted him with a finger to his lips. "I only ask for a moment, Charlie."
He sighed and gave into her momentary lapse of sense. He relaxed his one arm across her back and let the other fall on her stomach.
The significance of his hand placement was not lost on her and made her heart speed up again. She moved one hand to his face and stroked along his ear.
When she finally found her breath she began. "Charlie, darling…"
A forceful knock followed by a bang as someone tried to open the door nearly scared the butler out of his skin. As it were, it threw the housekeeper to her feet.
"Mr. Carson?" Mr. Bates voice followed another knock.
Mr. Carson quickly picked up his tea cup and gestured for Mrs. Hughes to open the door.
She was beginning to accept the fact that the baby would tell it's father it was there before she would have a chance.
She unlocked the door and played with the lock as she opened it. "That's strange. It never locked before by just closing. Can you have a look at it later Mr. Carson, or perhaps ask a hall boy?"
"Certainly Mrs. Hughes." He exhaled his brief panic. "And what can I help you with Mr. Bates?"
Mr. Bates seemed to accept the broken lock story. "His Lordship asked for you to meet him in his dressing room."
Mr. Carson stood. "Certainly, Mr. Bates." He turned to the housekeeper. "Will our conversation keep?"
Mrs. Hughes felt like she had no choice. "Of course, Mr. Carson. It will keep."
Mr. Carson left, knowing his secret wife was thoroughly annoyed with him and the circumstances of the day. He knew he had to find her alone before dinner service.
As it were, they seemed to just miss each other the entire afternoon. Every time Charles would look for her in her sitting room, she would be looking for him on the first floor and when Elsie looked in his pantry, he was checking the bed rooms.
Elsie had enough. He was going to know before the day was done and she would make sure of it.
It wasn't until right before the dinner service when the family was gathered in the drawing room that he finally found her. She was in the servery laying out the serving cutlery and double checking that he had everything he needed before their show began. He was about to make his presence known, but he stopped upon hearing something peculiar. She was singing. In Gaelic no less. It was a soft song, like a lullaby. Before he could attempt to translate the words, she hummed the melody and swayed softly. He was entranced. She straightened the decanters with one hand and the other hand made it's way to her side. Her fingers spread over her lower stomach. There certainly was something different about her, but he'd be damned if he could figure out why.
She took out, what appeared to be, a note and stuck it under one of the large spoons she placed on the table. He didn't have any time to think or stop her as she rushed down the servants stairs.
His curiosity piqued, he lifted the spoon and found a note addressed to Mr. Carson with her obvious script.
He opened the small piece of paper and read.
"If the true concord of well-tuned sounds,
By unions married, do offend thine ear,
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering;
Resembling sire and child and happy mother,
Who, all in one, one pleasing note do sing."
"Mrs. Patmore is ready, Mr. Carson." Mr. Barrow entered the servery in a hurry with the first course in his hands. The rest of the footmen followed carrying various trays.
Mr. Carson hid his note in his hand and turned to place it in his trouser pocket. He took the tray from Mr. Barrow and chose the appropriate serving utensil.
The procession began. Mr. Carson made his way around the table and served the guests with the upmost diligence and style.
Once everyone was well into their meal and conversation, he stepped back and allowed his mind to wander. There was something Elsie wanted to share with him and she was willing to take risks with revealing their secret to tell him. It must have something to do with where she was this morning. And then he overheard her singing. She sang for him many times before. But only in private: on their brief honeymoon and some nights when he couldn't seem to relax. She did have a lovely, soothing voice. But it was her subtle sway along with her voice that made his heart race.
His thoughts turned to the poem. He managed to read the entire thing before quickly putting it away. It was Shakespeare, he was sure, a sonnet. 'True concord of well-tuned sounds,' 'One string sweet husband to another,' 'Resembling sire and child and happy…'
He stopped breathing and struggled to hold still. 'Resembling sire and child and happy mother.' Elsie, happy mother? But that would mean… Could it be? All the pieces were there and seemed to fit together. But he still couldn't bring himself to believe it.
Then he remembered the way she placed her hand over her stomach as she hummed her lullaby.
One way or another, he had to see her. He motioned for Mr. Barrow to follow him into the servery.
"Mr. Barrow, I'm leaving the rest of the service to you. I am not feeling quite myself at the moment." All of which was true.
Mr. Carson was down the stairs before hearing a reply. He did his best to answer the questionable looks he received from staff members he passes as he made his way to his wife's sitting room. She was gone. Of course, just his luck. He noticed her hat and coat were missing from their hook. Without drawing attention to himself, he snuck out the back door and made his way towards the gardens. She often told him how much she enjoyed those walks and the moon was bright enough to light the way.
After searching furiously for about ten minutes, he found her sitting on a bench. She sat upright with her eyes closed and a smile on adorning her face, completely at peace. As he expected, both her hands locked together at her waist.
Charles couldn't keep himself silent for long. He rushed to her and called, "Els!"
His presence startled her, for she jumped from the bench. "Charlie! What on earth are you doing here? What about the dinner?"
He ignored every one of her questions and pulled her hands into his. "Elsie… my darling… is it true?"
Unconscious tears pooled in his eyes. By God, he hoped he was right.
Elsie knew this was the moment she was waiting for. She placed the note to pique his curiosity and expected him to come to her after dinner. Though she didn't imagine him to come looking for her all the way out here, it made the moment so much more special. "Charlie, sit down."
He saw in her positively glowing smile and airy voice that he must be right. He sat on the bench and pulled her into his lap. With his eyes fixated on her beautiful face, he took her hands in his.
This is perfect, utterly perfect. She thought. She didn't wait for anything else to crop up before getting straight to the point. "Charlie… By the Grace of God, we're having a baby."
Present
Elsie stroked her Grace's hair and pulled the top of her head down for a kiss. Grace's eyes had long since closed as did her brother's. She would have to continue the story another day. Elsie didn't realize the late hour and cursed herself for not doing anything productive. Yet being able to hold her little Grace and William, her greatest gifts, was much more worthwhile.
She managed to slip away from Grace as she stood and Grace curled up on the vacated chair. William was still latched onto her neck and was unwilling to let go. She sat in her desk chair and looked over all the accounts and papers she had to get through before closing the house. It was quite the chore, but she had the greatest possible reward waiting for her back at Downton.