Just a little note to say firstly thank you to all those who are still reading and reviewing, and as usual I don't own any of the twilight people but I so wish I did xx
It had just been over a week since I had arrived back home and to say things were strained was an understatement, I hadn't let Bella or Edward any where near my head, I might not have remembered anything when they put that collar on but I sure as hell remembered everything now and some of it made me feel sick, the last thing I needed was them seeing every little thought I had, charlotte and peter were a little more sympathetic to the whole eating human thing, but that made it worse it wasn't alright to kill humans it was far from it, mum and dad didn't stop with the constant parental, "its fine dear, we understand dear", Alice was just sick with herself because she didn't know or see the full extent of what had happened and Robert was drowning in his usual I cant believe I let her get hurt again, Emmett and rose where probably the only normal ones around me, they had both promised me in no uncertain terms what they would do to me if I ever pulled a stunt like that again lol, but the weirdest thing was toto, it turned out his whole tribe well the young ones were actually all wolfs and knew about us but knew we didn't mean any harm, he had introduced me to them and Carlisle, it turned out Toto was the alpha and basically ruled them lol toto had become my best friend and had kind of stayed my second in command, we had a good friendship forming and peter had said he thought that the wolfs probably had a part in this up coming battle as well,
As you have probably noticed there was someone missing from my catch up list, well it wasn't as though he wasn't here it was worse he was here but we hadn't spoken since the plane and since I didn't really need any sleep and spent most of my time with Em, rose and Toto I didn't even see him in the room any more I have even stopped referring to it as our room, mum had said my own room was still there and I was happy just to use it when I needed down time,
Sitting in the garden staring out at nothing as usual I was waiting for Robert he had asked to speak to me this morning and I had to accept usually I was quick enough to get out of the way before any of them had to speak to me but today I had slipped up and spent to long getting ready, I heard the door open and he was at my side budging me along the seat,
"Morning jade" his tone was forced and strange,
"Morning Robert" I replied just as forced,
"Jade I uumm I just want to say uumm look im sorry ok" his voice was almost a whisper and I think if I didn't have bat hearing I would have missed it,
I looked round and his face was strained, this was eating him up inside I had to help him,
"Robert what are you sorry for, you haven't done anything wrong" my tone was softer now,
he turned to meet my gaze and for the first time this week he didn't flinch at my eyes, the fact that they were almost golden coloured probably helped,
"I swore to keep you safe and 3 times I failed you, 3 fucking times, I make you one of us and I offer you up as a fucking warrior you're my baby sister and I left you in that fucking hell hole for months so don't tell me I have nothing to be sorry for" his eyes filled with venom but it would never spill over, his body heaved in a silent sob as his eyes moved back down to look at his feet, my heart was breaking for so many reasons and I needed to stop his pain, I done the only thing I could as I knew words would only sound false, I leaned over and grabbed his shoulder and forced him to hug me pulling his head into my chest and holding it tight the sobs came harder from him this time, I stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head, his whole body was tensing,
"Robert its ok, I just want my big brother back, I want to be just like it was" I whispered in his hair,
He held me tighter and in return I held him back, finally he was letting go and letting me take my share,
once he had stopped, he let go of me and sat up, his smile was my smile that one that made my heart jump and I knew I was safe this was my big brother my protector and I loved him,
We heard Alice come down the garden and we both turned to face her, her usual cheery face was drawn but she was trying to smile through it,
"my fav little pixie sister" I yelled at her, her face let up and she bounced in between the two of us, I put my arm around her and pulled her in kissing her head,
"its going to be ok my little pixie" I whispered into her spiky little head, god knows how long we sat there just laughing and catching up with all the usual shit, god I so had missed this it was good to have my brother and sister back now all I had to do was sort out Edward and Bella and then tackle the huge problem that was jasper, yeah no fucking bother,
we finally parted ways and I decided to go talk to Toto, for the first time since I arrived home I felt happy, shit I was even smiling, I wandered into the garage and looked around surely I could borrow someone's car, their was a noise at the far end, I looked over and saw jazz cleaning something, not wanting to have this conversation just now I turned to borrow Alice's car but jazz had other thought on the matter,
"Hey jade what you looking for" his tone was quiet
"Was just going to borrow a car to go see Toto" I turned as to walk out again but he stopped me again,
"Well im just polishing the ducati but your welcome to use my other baby" he looked behind him to a black and silver bike god she was gorgeous she just oozed sex appeal god I was falling in love with a fucking bike,
"Jesus jazz she is gorgeous, where you get her, I so need to get one" he smiled like a proud parent,
"a while back but I have driven her yet she's a new MV Augusta f4cc she cost a pretty penny as well but she was worth every penny" I could only nod my head, he ran his fingers along her and I couldn't help but let out a little groan,
"No its cool I don't want to take her on her maiden trip that is your gift to treasure" I smiled and went to leave,
"I tell you what little one why don't we do it together I will run you to Jacobs and you can share the ride"
The thought of riding up close to him like old times was too much I nodded my head again Jesus I was starting to look like one of those fucking nodding dog car toys,
he carefully wheeled her out of the garage and into the drive god she was amazing he climbed on and she purred to life he held his hand out and I climbed on behind him, my outfit was maybe not really bike riding material but fuck it, I liked my new look, I had on a black leather zip up top that just reached my abdomen and no more, a short black denim skirt, my knee length black boots with heel I could spear a rhino with and my long black leather coat, definitely going for the rock chick effect I thought when I dressed this morning,
we took of down the road and the feel of the bike purring under me and the thought that all I had wanted to do was hold jazz close to me since I arrived was slightly dampening my mood a little, in no time we were at the reserve, we both climbed of the bike and jazz handed me the keys
"here I will run home you take these and I will see you later" he was gone before I could protest, I turned the key in my hand and looked over as Toto came out his house and his jaw hit the floor,
"Fuck me Dorothy I don't know what looks better you or the fucking bike" his usual carefree tone,
All I could do was laugh and watch him come towards me and stroke the bike,