The next morning is a struggle.
Madge didn't wake me up to say goodbye. She just left. Effie said that she was wearing my shirt, so that makes me feel a bit better, but not enough to function properly. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was kissing the baby bump and then her forehead. Madge clung to me all night.
According to Effie I look like a truck hit me. I feel like it. She found Portia to get some food for me and I force that down, but it's so hard. Every swallow becomes thicker and thicker, especially with Effie and Portia snapping at one another. "Will you two just quit it?"
Portia drags me away from the table and gets me ready for the pre-Games interviews I'm going to have to endure. "Make sure you don't smile. Just make that scowl you always make." I scowl even more and Portia gives me a soft smile. She shows me the videos of Haymitch and Madge getting on their hovercrafts and I nearly laugh at Madge.
She's literally only wearing my shirt. There are so many hickeys visible on her neck and collarbone. I left them all over, on her neck, collarbone, breasts, everywhere I could reach. I think I did it on purpose, to leave a bit of me with her. I know that they will be there days into the Games, as will the ones on me. "You two..." Portia wags a disapproving finger at me, but she's smiling.
I swallow thickly and allow Portia to fix my hair and make sure I look alive, because I feel so dead inside.
"What if... what if I do lose her?"
"If you think like that, you will."
I sigh and rub my eyes, "what if I do, though?"
"Then you piece yourself back together. You're strong, you can do it." But I can't, oh, I can't. I don't think anyone else understands that if Madge dies, my life is over. She's everything to me, and so is the baby inside of her. She's the only one that I want to be with me.
There is no one else.
Within moments there's reporters swarming on me. They ask question after question and only respond because I have too. There's only one question that trips me up.
The pink haired reporter asks, "do you know who the father of Madge's child is?"
It takes all I have not to sock her in the face. "No. No one does. Only Madge." I pause and wring my hands together to prevent myself from screaming, "she'll only tell you if she gets out. So I advise that you get her out." I hiss, before Effie pulls me away frantically to get to the Mentor Room.
Nothing in this room is comforting. Especially not all of the Victors talking about Madge's pregnancy. I examine my station and find that there are four screens, two for each of my tributes. One has a camera on them at all times. The other has their heart rate, blood pressure, and everything that I'll ever need to know. Both of those screens are on. Madge's even has a little thing below it that tells of the baby's vitals. That makes me so happy.
I look around and find Johanna lounging in her chair, tapping on some buttons. I look and see that she's playing some game. "You're very productive, aren't you, Jo?"
She snorts, "like you're doing any better." She's the only person I will talk to this week. I look around the room some more and find a lot of the Victors conversing. Mostly the Careers, excluding 4. That's odd, but that might be because it's Annie Cresta at the mentor station. She won't talk to anyone either. Finnick's told me about Annie, how they're in love and such. And I hate to say it, but with Madge in there, I frankly don't care. I just hope he goes quickly.
When the two other screens kick on, Madge's is at a standstill as Haymitch's moves up into the arena. Hers doesn't move for a second, like there's a problem, but then it does and I stop thinking of all of the bad possibilities.
Her capsule stops a second later than everyone elses and I'm not comforted to see the frozen wasteland. They're going on complete opposite sides of the spectrum, with a desert last year to this now. I'm even less comforted to see that the tributes don't have on proper clothing. Most of them are already shivering.
They're wearing black jumpsuits, thick wool socks, and good sturdy boots. Each has a thin jacket that's doing absolutely nothing to block the harsh wind that's hitting them all.
Madge looks miserable. You can just make out the edges of some of the hickeys that I left and the announcers mention that as soon as I think of it. "And, would you look at that, it looks like Ms. Undersee had some fun last night! Perhaps with the father?" I swallow thickly.
As the clock runs down, I look over the surroundings. Frozen, frozen, frozen. That's all I see. It looks like there's some supplies in the Cornucopia, but it's mostly weapons. That means that they'll have to fight for the supplies, which makes my stomach drop, just as the clock drops down to 1.
And then that dreaded gong goes off and Madge is sprinting towards the Cornucopia, a few other tributes behind her. She and Finnick make it there first.
"You sticking with me, Blondie?"
She snorts. "Said I would." This surprises me. I assumed she and Haymitch were going to be together. "Get 1 and 2?"
"You be careful." Madge nods and grabs a backpack and throws it at Haymitch who's just making it to the Cornucopia.
"We need to move!" Finnick bellows and the three of them, with backpacks and weapons in tow, hurry away. They don't make it very far until Gloss comes up and slashes. It takes me all of two second to realize that they're aiming for Madge's stomach. My blood boils. Haymitch kicks Gloss in the nuts and pushes him over and they continue on their way. Haymitch gets pretty beat up protecting Madge from the blows that are coming towards her. Finnick pushes through and Madge just does everything she can to stay away.
I don't realize that my fists are clenched until they've made it out of the area. The three of them push through the hills of snow and ice. They stop when they're under the cover of some trees.
The three, all breathing heavily, unload their backpacks and drop them on the ground. Madge collapses and I see her chest rise and fall. She's exhausted. The fact that she now has to provide for two people, makes this so much harder. I know that the baby will take most of her energy.
Haymitch starts digging through his pack first and lets out a shout of joy when he sees what's inside.
There's a sleeping bag that turns into a jacket, some dried food, matches, and two bottles of water. Finnick looks at his next and finds the same jacket thing, as well as some very useful knives and food. Madge is last too look. It seems like every backpack has one of the sleeping bag/jacket thing, and she quickly pulls it on. They have a lot of useful things.
"Eat." Haymitch says, pushing some dried fruit towards her.
"I'm fine." She protests, pushing it back. "I'm pregnant, not helpless."
I glance at her vitals. She seems alright, heartbeats a little fast, but other than that she's fine. "Well at least make sure you eat plenty. There's two of you now." Madge scowls. She probably picked that up from me.
The cameras switch to the bloodbath, where blood now stains the white snow. I find that the part where they started was ice. They were on top of a frozen lake, that I know is going to break at some point. I just hope my group isn't anywhere near it when it does.
Several people now lay dead on the ice, with some horrific injuries. Two or three are still alive, but not by much. They'll die soon. That's a few less I have to worry about getting in the way of Madge getting home.
Johanna sighs heavily from across the room. "Well, I can leave now. My tributes are dead."
"Already?"
She nods and grimaces. "Both had no chance. First two to die."
"I'm sorry."
Johanna shrugs. "There's no one that I love. I'm alright. I'll help you with Blondie and the Drunk." I scowl as she moves so she's in the chair next to me. "Aw look there's even a little monitor for the baby's stuff how adorable." She spits out and I growl.
"Shut up, Johanna."
"The thing isn't even going to make it through day one." I can't tell if she's talking about Madge or the baby, but I don't care.
"So God help me, I'm going to kill you if you don't shut the fuck up."
Johanna snorts. "Like you care about her. You probably don't even know who knocked her up in the first place." I look at her quickly and she falls quiet. "Oh. Alright. I'll stop."
I let out a sigh. She picked up on that real fast. I watch Madge's vitals monitor for a minute, especially the baby's heartbeat. It makes me feel a little better.
The cannons ring out about two hours later. 12. 12 people are already dead.
"Wow," Madge murmurs, curling into her heavy parka more, "that's half."
"I know," Finnick replies, looking up at the sky. "Already halfway there." Madge nods, and shifts. Her hickeys are now fully visible and I flush, but feel a little smug.
The announcers have a cow at this. "Dear God, it looks like she had a lot of fun last night!" Johanna nudges my side and it takes all I have not to break her nose.
Finnick doesn't miss it either. "Hey, uh, Madge, you might want to cover those up." Madge blushes a deep red and quickly zips up the parka so no one can see. "That's better."
Haymitch is already asleep, so it's just the two of them up. "So, do you wanna spill the beans on who the father is?"
Madge shakes her head. "Nope. No one's finding out except for him, me, and a few others."
Finnick rolls his eyes. "Well will you at least tell me what he's like?"
My girlfriend sighs and then nods. She fiddles with the few strands of hair that have fallen out of her ponytail. "He's... he's amazing. He's strong and he's wonderful and he's great with children. He doesn't think he's ready to have children, but... I know he is. I know that he's gonna do everything to provide for us when I get back and I love him very much." My heart swells with these words and it takes all I have not to go down to that Gamemaker room and demand to stop the Games.
"Sounds like he's a good man."
"He is," Madge agrees, and when she looks at Finnick, I know that he knows I'm the father. Maybe it's the permanent scowl Madge now has on her face. Or maybe it's the hesitation she has before she says anything, like she's afraid that she'll say my name.
Johanna taps my shoulder. "You get ready," she whispers, "when they find out, they're going to have a field day." I nod. "You gotta go, now. Apparently you have a ton of appointments."
It's so hard and so wrong to be having sex with other women when my girlfriend is pregnant. After every appointment I feel more and more disgusted with myself, because Madge should be the only person I'm doing this with. Not the entire Capitol population.
I'm the only Mentor doing this, and I understand why. It's because Snow knows that Madge is carrying my baby, and he knows that I hate doing this.
There was one appointment that demanded that we did everything, and it was horrible. I am never having sex again, that has scarred me. She left even more marks all over me, and I hate it. The one Madge left on me are fading a little bit, but they're still there, and I can tell which ones they are.
Their small alliance is alright. Finnick demanded that Madge sleeps, while he and Haymitch keep watch. Finnick went hunting for something to eat and Haymitch is now watching over Madge closely.
Now that I'm back in the mentoring room, after several hot showers, I see that all vitals are still normal and their sponsor money is filling up. It must be because of Madge's description of me.
All I need is to get her through another day. Another dusk, another dawn. We just have to take it day by day.
A/N: So next two chapters are not going to be pretty. At all. Actually, the rest of this story is going to be kinda sad. Until the last chapter, it gets better. Not much, but better. Thoughts? I don't like to get descriptive during fights or Gale's appointments, so don't expect big bad fights or anything.