Dear Editor,

I am an actor, a thespian. I have been involved in stage productions since I was a small child mewling at my mother's feet. There is none better than I to qualify quality drama on stage. I live and breathe the theater.

Even in the Enchanted Forest I was more than a mere vagrant. I come from a long, distinguished line of actors in the traveling troupe known as the Ferris Family. I'm certain you've heard of us. I am a direct descendant of Felina Ferris, the woman known throughout the Enchanted Forest as the only actor to ever bring a king to tears, and she did so through her brilliant interpretation of Queen Reyna. I'm certain you know of which story I speak.

In Storybrooke, I am the owner of local theater, and I have produced many brilliant dramas and comedies over the years spanning from the ever eloquent Shakespeare to even a few lower class yet no less brilliantly produced musicals from the likes of Rodgers & Hammerstein.

I have dedicated my life to my craft, and, in so doing, I've equally dedicated my life to providing the very best the theater has to offer to our citizens. I have sacrificed for the theater, giving everything I have: my blood, my sweat, and my tears.

As such, I feel nothing but disdain for the influx of insulting and demeaning comments from the citizens regarding the list of upcoming shows for the summer season. You all act as though I've come to the decision to run these shows based on some arbitrary deciding factor. I assure, I have not, and to insinuate otherwise is beyond offensive.

Les Miserables is an iconic musical based on an equally iconic book that tells the story of those who suffer in their lives at the hands of their oppressors, yet, despite their leadership's attempts to keep them downtrodden, love and hope still find a way to prosper and survive. It is not, as some of you have said via my comments box outside the theater, a "lame attempt to create some kind of obvious parallelism between what happens in Storybrooke and what happens in the show." I beg to differ! What happens in the show is about the human condition, and it cannot be helped if those same themes that run through the show also happen to run through most of our lives. It's purely a product of art reflecting real life.

Mamma Mia! Is not an excuse to dress anyone in drag. How very crass to even suggest such a thing. To whomever put the note in my comments box stating, "Yeah, sure, I'd love to see Guy Stevenson in drag, but just make sure he shaves every night because otherwise he'll just look like a transvestite who doesn't care," I can only say that you, whomever you are, are a thoughtless and heartless clod. First of all, this show is a modern classic and a crowd favorite. Second of all, do not insult either Guy or the transvestite community in that way. It's demeaning to us all.

Romeo & Juliet is a Shakespearean classic. I cannot imagine how anyone could have issue with the Bard himself, and, yet, you people seem to. There's nothing more endearing than story of two people in love. To whomever wrote, "The last thing we need is a true love story that doesn't end in a happy ending. We have enough of those now days," all I can say is that you clearly have missed the point of the play. It's not about happy endings because life isn't about happy endings. It's about finding love, regardless of how long the two people have to be in love. Of course, I don't know why I'm wasting my time attempting to explain this to you. Clearly, you don't care or don't understand to.

And, to whoever it is that doesn't seem to appreciate Mame, all I can say is that you lack any taste or class. I'll not even dignify your comments with an actual response.

People, I am trying to bring to this town a sense of culture. I'm not here to present some kind of lowbrow entertainment. If you want to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show, then go talk to Bill Cates, the owner of the movie theater. Don't keep stuffing my comments box with demands for Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert.

I wouldn't have bothered to write anything at all in reply to any of this, but the last comment in my box was the final straw. To the person who wrote:

I don't think you appreciate how much money you could bank if you did a once a month show for either Rocky or Priscilla. Just think about it, you'd have regular attendance, a guarantee of income, and who wouldn't pay to see Regina Mills dressed up as Dr. Frank N Furter?

First of all, Regina is a woman. Therefore, she can't be a transvestite. She'd be more likely to be Columbia, not that I want to encourage this lewd train of thought regarding our mayor. Secondly, I refuse to put on productions that encourage audiences to throw things my employees then have to clean off the floor, which leads me to my final point.

Plainly spoken, it's not going to happen; stop asking me.

Now, I've have provided quality production to the masses for well over forty years, including both time here and in the Enchanted Forest. I do not need a group of prepubescent juvenile delinquents telling me, repeatedly, what I should be producing simply so they can get a jolly or two. If you want that sort of thrill, go to the docks.

Above the riffraff,

Eleanor Montgomery