Uncanny Deadpool II

Chapter 26: It's Kicking Off!

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

'Be one with the horse.'- Captain Kirk (Star Trek V: The Final Frontier)

The Silvermane Building, Manhattan-

Somewhere in the high-rise building known as the Silvermane Building a pair of well-dressed men were sitting around guarding what seemed to be a small armoury. The pile of guns looked like something that would make an 80's action hero jealous.

'Where do you think all this stuff came from, Phil?' One of the suited men enquired. 'I mean, jeez. This stuff must have cost a pretty penny.'

'Like I care.' Phil shrugged. 'We're not paid to think, Gary. We're paid to look after this stuff.'

'I was just curious, is all.' Gary shrugged. 'You can't blame me for that.'

'This is why we keep getting crap jobs like this.' Phil sighed heavily. 'You keep annoying the boss with all your dumb questions. You really gotta learn to keep your mouth shut, then we might actually get some decent jobs once in a while. I don't intend to be a glorified watchman all my life.'

Gary was about to say something when the sound of a commotion coming from the other side of the door caught his attention.

CRASH! BANG! CRUNCH!

'Arrrgh!'

'My spine!'

'Oh God, it hurts!'

'Phil, I think we got trouble.' Gary announced as he upholstered his gun. Phil just nodded silently and upholstered his weapon as well as he took a position beside the door.

BOOM!

The door swung open, hitting Phil in the face. Deadpool stood in the doorway with Bob, the former Agent of HYDRA, beside him.

'Ah, there they are…' Deadpool sighed happily as he headed inside the room to take back all of his weapons. 'Have you missed daddy? Daddy's missed you. Oh, yes he has...

'Stay r-right where you are, punk!' Gary stammered as he levelled his gun at the former Merc-With-A-Mouth.

Deadpool just looked back at the gun-toting goon not impressed in the least.

'Uh-huh. Right. I totally get that you're only trying to do your job, but do you really think that you've got any chance of beating me? I mean, I've got a bag full of guns for crying out loud. You don't think that you're going to come out of this whole thing unharmed, do you?'

Deadpool slung his bag of guns around his shoulder and patted Gary on the back.

'Nothing personal, buddy.' The semi-sane ex mercenary reassured the goon as he headed back the way he came before looking down at the unconscious Phil. 'Tch. Sleeping on the job. You just can't get the help nowadays, can you?'

A little while later-

Once the news of Deadpool and Bob's escape had gotten out, it seemed that all of Silvermane's goons had gone out to meet them.

'Now, this is my kind of fun.' Deadpool grinned as he reloaded his gun from the shelter of an upturned table. 'It feels so good to finally cut loose. Just don't tell Betsy, okay? You know how she gets when I go all shooty and stabby'

'I'm sure she'll understand.' Bob responded. 'We did end up getting betrayed and locked up.'

'Yeah, come to think of it, I bet Betsy would have loved to be here with us.' Deadpool nodded as he unhooked a smoke grenade from his belt. 'You ready, Bob?'

'I guess.' The cowardly former agent of HYDRA nodded as he watched Deadpool roll the smoke grenade towards the gang of goons in front of them.

Once the grenade stopped rolling it disgorged its gaseous contents, all but blinding the army of goons.

'Son of a…!'

'I can't see!'

'Blast him anyway!'

Deadpool leapt out from behind the table and opened fire on the goons.

BRATTATTATTA!

Bob cautiously crept out from behind the upturned table and followed his boss as he headed down the corridor, taking out goons along the way.

'I don't suppose any of your guys know where Silvermane's got himself holed up, do you?' Deadpool asked as he grabbed one of the goons and used him as a human shield. 'Now, come on. There's no need to be shy. Speak up somebody.'

'Umm, boss? I think they're dead.' Bob pointed out. 'There's nobody left to talk.'

'Well, I guess we'll have to do this the hard way.' Deadpool sighed. 'We'll have to fight our way through every floor and hope that Silvermane's in the penthouse.'

Bob let out a long groan at the news that he'd had to fight through dozens more miscellaneous goons.

'Oh, God. Everything has to be the hard way, doesn't it?'

The penthouse-

Silvermane already knew that Deadpool was battling his way through his army of minions and he wasn't best pleased. The old man didn't actually care that his underlings were being slaughtered, it was the fact that his building was being shot up in the process. Having your own hi-rise wasn't cheap.

Typhoid Mary paced nervously in the penthouse. Silvermane had captured her lover and threatened to kill him unless she set a trap for Deadpool. The redheaded woman was starting to have second thoughts about betraying her friend.

'What are you doing standing there?' Silvermane snapped. 'Help me pack everything before that psychopath gets here!'

Typhoid pursed her lips in determination.

'No. I'm not going to betray my friends any longer.'

'What?!' Silvermane spluttered in surprise. 'You do know what'll happen to your precious Pyro if you don't do as I say, don't you?'

'I'll find John.' Typhoid warned the old man. 'I don't like being played with like some pawn. As a matter of fact it makes me so angry that it… burns!'

'What are you…?' Silvermane spluttered as his body started to smoulder and smoke. 'Stop this!'

BOOM!

Just at that precise moment Deadpool kicked the door open and gawked at amazement at what was going on in the penthouse.

'I guess somebody had a change of heart.' The former Merc-With-A-Mouth stated.

'Sorry Wade.' Typhoid apologised sheepishly. 'No hard feelings, right?'

'Pff. Think nothing of it.' Deadpool waved it away. 'I knew it wouldn't last. You didn't want to end up pissing off the missus, right?'

Typhoid was about to say something in response when the still-burning Silvermane stood up, revealing that inside the skin of an old man was a body of a deadly killer robot.

'Oh, yeah. That's right.' Deadpool snapped his fingers as he remembered something. 'Silvermane's a cyborg. Silly me.'

'You will all die for this!' Silvermane snarled at the trio. 'I don't need henchmen to destroy you when I can do it myself!'

'You're not the first one to spout off about how he's gonna kill me, buddy.' Deadpool retorted. 'And you sure as hell aren't going to be the last.'

'Oh, is that a fact?' Silverman sneered as he reached out and grabbed Deadpool by the throat. 'How about now?'

Typhoid tried to attack the cyborg with one of her machetes, but was swatted aside for her trouble.

PANG!

'Bob…' Deadpool croaked. 'Little help?'

Bob peeked out from his hiding place behind a statue and looked at the scene. His employer was having the life squeezed out of him, and Typhoid Mary was out for the count as well.

'This totally goes against my HYDRA training.' The former agent of HYDRA muttered to himself as he stepped out of his hiding place. 'RRRAAAAAGHH!!'

Bob charged at Silvermane with the fiercest yell he could manage and tackled him straight through the penthouse window.

CRASH!

'Bob…' Deadpool coughed as he got up from his position on the floor where Silvermane had dropped him before Bob sent the cyborg tumbling out the window. 'Jeez, buddy. That was what I call a heroic sacrifice. I'll remember you always, friend.'

'I'm not dead yet…' Bob wheezed as he struggled to climb back through the window. 'I managed to grab on.'

Deadpool offered a hand to help his friend back into the penthouse.

'You do know that was totally working against the stereotype of a cowardly sidekick, right?' Deadpool teased him. 'People're going to start thinking that you're a hero or something.'

A little while later-

The authorities had taken away Silvermane's shattered remains. All that was left for Deadpool and Bob to do was to bid Typhoid Mary goodbye.

'Are you sure we can't help you rescue John?' Deadpool asked. 'There's nothing I like more than a good old rescue mission.'

'I'm honoured, but I'd much rather do it on my own.' Typhoid shook her head. 'I've already imposed on you too much.'

'Impose, nothing.' Deadpool laughed. 'It's always good to wreak miscellaneous havoc with friends. Good luck with finding Pyro, okay? Don't be a stranger.'

Typhoid waved goodbye to her two friends and headed off to find her missing lover. Once she had gone Deadpool hopped into his car.

'Well, as fun as that was, I think I need a vacation.' Deadpool sighed.

'Where are you thinking, boss?' Bob asked.

Deadpool thought for a minute.

'London!' The former Merc-With-A-Mouth. 'The city of cheeky Cockneys and chirpy singing street urchins! Or so the TV has led me to believe.'

TBC…

Next: Mr Deadpool Goes To London

Deadpool and co head to London to meet up with Captain Britain and the members of Excalibur. Nothing could possibly go wrong… could it? Yeah, right.