Finally, here it is my new chapter! Writing and translating it felt like giving birth XD Thank you so much for your comments, they made my day 3 And huge thanks to Ginx, who corrected this chapter of mine.
TsundereTwin: Thank you for your comment! Yes, Pepper noticed, maybe even too much. Of course she's not happy about the fact that Tony has feelings for Loki and she's very worried about him. She won't be the "other woman", though, nor will she be the villain. Also, she doesn't want to hurt Bruce, so no worries about that :) It will be difficult for Loki to let go of his self-hatred and all his issues, but Tony is really helping him, so little by little he might succeed. Glad you're still interested in my story!
Wicked Witch of the Web: Thank you for your comment, glad you enjoyed the last chapter!
Nothing is What it Seems: Hi, thank you so much! Your words mean a lot to me, especially since I really care about writing the characters well (to have them behave IC and in a plausible way is one of my main goals) and since you don't usually enjoy slash fiction. I really hope my story won't disappoint and I'm the one who's glad you found it.
xxDustNight88: Tony is helping a lot, but Loki has centuries of issues to overcome, it won't be easy. Things are starting getting better, though, little by little ;) Thank you for your comment!
Teska: Thank you so much, you're always too kind! FrostIron is coming back on the scene, just wait for Loki to recover a little more ;) Glad you like the Bruce/Pepper pairing! I admit it wasn't planned, at first, but by now I came to like the idea a lot. I fear I would be the only one who liked them, though XD About my book, there's only the Italian version, at least for now (I'm still looking for a way to translate it professionally to English). You can find it on Amazon, it's "Come ombre nella notte" by Mary Durante. Thank you for your interest!).
Chapter 25: Trust
Tony couldn't move.
He had just remembered why he was dressed in so many layers of clothing—as there was a very attractive but very wounded god by his side. That's when said god, taking advantage of his distraction while he was still trying to explain what had happened during the last few hours, had assaulted his mouth. He was left panting from such an urgent kiss, full of possessiveness and violence—because there were teeth digging into his lips, there was a tongue thrusting into his mouth, demanding his compliance, and he allowed it, letting Loki explore his mouth while he was still frozen in surprise.
His brain must have been stuck on the image of the god dying—that foreign appearance and his breath that seemed like a wheeze away from shutting off at every moment—considering how long it took him to process that kiss. But the touch of Loki's mouth was familiar, he had missed it, and his body reacted before he managed to collect his thoughts.
Like it had its own mind, his hand tangled in the god's hair, to keep him close, and he stopped passively accepting the kiss, starting to deepen it instead, with a moan that echoed between them more telling than any words.
He tasted again that hint of snow that he was used to associate to Loki's mouth, this time more intense than the usual, but he recognized blood too. It was what stopped him, what made him pull back, breaking the kiss abruptly and moving his hand from Loki's nape to his shoulder.
"Slow down, Maleficent, I want to remind you that you're a lung and a half from your dazzling form."
The god's green eyes narrowed.
"You dare to reject me?"
"No, I'm just an idiot who's worrying about your ungrateful ass."
There was a moment of tense silence, then, to his surprise, Loki burst into laughter.
"You indeed are an idiot, Stark," he told him, while his laughter ended in a strangled gasp. But there was an amused light in his stare, showing that his pain wasn't so strong that it would put his survival into question.
Tony found himself without a ready answer.
The day before—that is, if it truly was the day before, considering that, since the wounded god appeared here, hours had passed in a whirl of tension, powerless rage and anguish, without any perception of how much time had passed— had sapped him of all his energy, to the point that he hadn't even tried to crack a joke about the Blue Fairy. But now Loki was himself again. The weakness still present in his pale face and his sluggish movements, but his sarcastic humor was back, alleviating the feeling he had to deal with a defeat god, someone so broken he could never put himself together again.
The urge to kiss him was so intense Tony had to sit up and put some distance between them.
"I'll forgive your last comment because it's clear you're still delirious. So, what about some breakfast? Or lunch, or dinner, I'm not sure of what time of the day it is."
He looked around, feeling a little disoriented; it was a familiar sensation, though, like when he woke up from his own creative frenzy, finding himself in a world that had kept going without him, while he had spent hours, days, even weeks working almost without pause on a new invention.
When Tony looked at him again, the god had his eyes focused on his face.
"Some food would be acceptable," was his answer, with a grimace showing too well how annoying the idea of depending on others was for him; but there wasn't the shadow of defeat hardening his gaze anymore, nor was there the desperation that had brought him to breaking point. Loki was truly back. Wounded, sarcastic, the usual little shit that one moment would devour his mouth like he wasn't able to breath without tasting him, and a moment later would offend him with disdain. The relief washing other Tony warmed his chest beneath the Reactor. And, now that he was thinking of it, he was starting to feel warm all other. Not that he should be surprised, since the god had his usual appearance back, the temperature of the room must have risen again.
"Give me five minutes and I'll bring you something to eat."
He took off one of his sweaters, feeling the need for a shower. And he was sure he wasn't the only one, but if he could have his way, he would have tied Loki to the bed, for once without any sexual goal in mind, to prevent him from doing something idiotic, like moving around and worsening his wounds.
As if agreeing with his worries, the god panted, trying to sit up. Tony glared at him, searching in vain for words that would convince him to lay down and keep still. Because he was sure that forbidding him from something would just make him try to do the opposite even more, a behavior he had to admit was very familiar to him. With a hostile gaze, Loki lifted himself with his elbow and then managed to straighten his back. So, with a sigh, Tony took his own pillow, putting it against the god's own, so that he could have some support and could stay comfortably seated.
As soon as he had regained his breath, Loki sent him a contemptuous gaze, despite his pale face.
"You told me you would go to fetch me some food," he told him, the blame clear in his voice.
"So you can try to reopen your wounds? Not a chance, Cruella."
The god's expression resembled a storm.
"I am no fragile mortal. Save your concern for those who belong to your pathetic race."
But Tony wouldn't allow him to make it a point of pride, nor would he allow him to shatter that light atmosphere that had been there since after the kiss, when his pulling back out of concern had been welcome with a laugh.
"Jarv, please, do babysit Reindeer Games, "who still hasn't understood that for someone who's spent the last day risking his divine skin, should remain still and relax. Warn me if he does something else aside breathing and blinking."
Loki grimaced. "Watch your tongue," he threatened him, even if his words didn't carry any true heat.
"Sure, sure, when you feel better you'll eviscerate me, nothing new about it. I'm going to bring you something to eat, try to be a good god and stay exactly where you are."
Loki snorted, but it seemed he was tired enough to not try to move, so Tony decided to exit the room and walk towards the kitchen, yearning for some solitude. Between the fight with Pepper and Bruce, the anguish and the desperation, and that scaring realization of how much the god meant to him, he felt too exposed, too vulnerable. He needed some time alone to rebuild his defenses.
"Do not make me wait, Stark." Loki's voice accompanied him with an echo of his usual imperious tone while Tony was walking through the door, but he couldn't actually be annoyed: the god was better enough to behave like a little shit again. Now he had no doubts he would survive.
It must have been an hour.
Tony had taken advantage of that to recharge, to be in touch with the world outside Loki's room and to feed the god and himself, thanking Jarvis' readiness, who had ordered some food—cheeseburgers, tacos, some Chinese takeaway—even before he had asked him to. Now, they were both sitting on the bed. He had had a shower and Loki was resting after the meal, with his back against the pillows, sliding his Tesseract shard between his fingers. Tony took it as a good sign, that the god wasn't trying to hide it anymore. Or maybe he was just testing him, but it didn't matter, as he had no intentions of trying to take the shard from him unless Loki used it to attack them. He wanted him to feel safe and relaxed instead, because he knew he couldn't wait any longer. Sooner or later, Pepper and Bruce would come back to press him again, and he knew they were right, more than he wanted to admit; besides he'd rather manage the situation on his terms, instead of finding himself cornered, in what could have catastrophic consequences for the god.
If Loki felt himself cornered or in danger, when Tony just wanted to gain his trust, everything could crash and burn, and literally too. Better if he was the one to bring the subject up, so that he could have this conversation without any other people.
He decided to start gradually.
"So, was the meal to your liking?"
Loki seemed still worn out by the task of eating, but he looked less pale, now.
"Considering that it was prepared by a mortal, I found it more satisfying than I expected." A grin curved his lips. "I surely noticed the difference from your cooking."
"Good. Now that you feel well enough again to be the annoying Princess and the Pea we've all resigned ourselves to love, what about discussing about our situation?" He had spoken with a light voice, but he didn't miss the flash of emotion crossing the god's eyes, that hardened his expression, even if he was still grinning.
"Our situation?"
"Exactly. As I already told, you several times by now, I want you as an ally, and I think that it's the unavoidable consequence of what happened. But there are some details we need to discuss, especially for what concerns my teammates."
Loki tensed, and this time his smile disappeared completely.
"The beast."
"I'm not talking about the Jolly Green, who has a name, by the way, and I doubt you'll ever have to meet again if everything goes as smoothly as I hope. And Bruce is almost as smart as I am, it didn't take long for him to realize that your presence is an advantage for all of us, given the upcoming Star War we're about to experience first hand. But Capsicle, your not-brother, and the two spies should be warned about your addition to the team."
"I do not remember of ever accepting to be part of your so called Avengers."
"That's a pity, I bet Fury would have a stroke if I presented you as the new honorary member."
The god's lips quivered, but the light of dark amusement that flashed in the green of his eyes was enough to give away his thoughts.
"I could accept you all as vassals. If you knelt and begged me to guide your mortal lives." The amusement turned into something more vivid and burning, something raw and intense, and Tony felt it licking at his skin like a blowtorch. "Especially you, Stark."
He was forced to take a deep breath before he managed to retrieve his voice, without revealing how much that idea was tempting him, with the unavoidable meaning Loki had to be aware of. The memory of when the god had made him kneel at his feet, to forcefully steal that refusal from him, that had given Tony his voice back, had never been so far away.
In that moment, if only Loki weren't so hurt, he would already be on his knees without a second thought.
After all he had endured, between the days when he had been worried sick because of the god's disappearance, and the last couple of days when he had struggled to keep him breathing, he yearned to feel him—to feel he was alive, to feel it with his hands and mouth, so that he could truly reassure himself that he had saved him, that the god was still there, that he would stay.
"Let's agree to talk about this again as soon as you're better, and that you'll never mention other people, okay?"
There was a glimpse of white teeth.
"You do not want that I talk about your precious teammates?"
"Hell no, if that's about sex." He answered with a scolding glare to the vivid satisfaction that had appeared in the god's face, before clearing his throat. "And, talking of them." Loki's smile withered in the blink of an eye, so Tony stopped, knowing he had to choose his words carefully, because he could only imagine how the god had to feel, 'cause he was vulnerable like that and about to face the people he was used to consider as enemies.
The first step to make things acceptable for him was to convince him that they weren't enemies, not anymore, but possibly an ally with a common goal. Starting with Capsicle would be easier, instead of starting with the two spies. Tony knew what Barton's reaction at Loki's presence in his tower would be. The second step, to make sure Loki trusted him. Tony was ready to fight against the god's huge pride, certain that he would never be happy being so wounded and helpless, but he wouldn't be able to accept hostility born out of mistrust. "Aside from Bruce, none of them know you are here, and I think it's the time to tell them."
Tension filled the air so abruptly that Tony almost expected to feel that sharp cold biting at his skin and lungs, or to see the god disappearing in a flash of green light. Instead, Loki closed his hands into fists, but didn't move.
"Do you need their permission? Or their approval?"
"Hold on, Rock of Ages. It's not because I'm asking permission and surely I don't care of how they're going to react to your presence." And they would react badly, at least one of them would, Tony was sure. But he couldn't keep Loki hidden for much longer. "I just want to avoid that they discover it in the worst way and to be sure that they can keep the secret from Fury. Besides, it wouldn't be bad if we all became allies, or at least if you could give us some useful information about the big bad who's coming to attack the Earth."
The god's expression lost every emotion.
"Would that be the price for having been granted asylum?"
For Tony, it was like a punch to the face.
"Do you really think I've been spending whole hours risking to freeze to death and fighting against your almost-a-corpse status, just to gain something back?" he asked, with a strained voice that needed all his will power to prevent from screaming.
And there were other words he wanted to say, words filled with rage and hurt, that carried the same resentment burning his chest and throat. Because despite everything between them, still Loki didn't trust him. He still believed he was capable of acting for sheer personal interest.
Loki tensed like he was getting ready for a fight.
"I do not." He grimaced, then he averted his gaze. "But neither do I understand."
He seemed so lost, and at the same time so annoyed for feeling that way, that Tony forced himself to overcome his rage. He sighed, passing one hand through his hair, before trying to meet the god's eyes, wanting to help said god to overcome the suspicions a whole life spent among lies, violence, and manipulation must have sewn to his every thought.
"I don't want anything in return. If you want to fight against the bastard that did that to you, you can do it at our side, as our ally. And I assure you that it would be an advantage for all of us. But, if you don't, nothing will prevent you from disappearing from my tower once you're better, and no one will try to stop you."
The god lifted an eyebrow.
"No one?"
"Okay, maybe one of Fury's little two friends will make an attempt, but it would be offensive if you didn't think I would be enough to handle them."
For a moment, the surprise crossing Loki's eyes was as clear as a wound.
"You would side against them?" the god asked him.
His eyes were cold and burning at the same time, now, searching for something on Tony's face, almost challenging him to admit it was a lie, to reveal what he was truly thinking, and Tony met them without any shame or hesitations.
"My house, my rules, and you're my guest. If they're so ill-mannered that they attack you, I'll have to put on my suit and give them a good old ass whooping."
Loki continued to scrutinize him, as if to look for deceit, but little by little the disbelief that filled his eyes disappeared, replaced by a hint of surprise and again that burning, too vivid emotion that messed Tony's thoughts up.
"What would your intentions be? To call your teammates, and then?"
"For the moment, just talking. I make them know you are here, with necessary tact, and then, if you agree, we could discuss our alliance." The god made a grimace, without replying, so Tony decided to keep going. "I was thinking of starting with our boy scout in stars and stripes, who happens to also be the only one of the team who's currently here, not counting Bruce. I know he doesn't shine in insights, but even him could become suspicious if he hasn't seen anyone around here for a couple of days. I doubt he would react too badly, after all he seems to be more bearable and less prone to show his annoying judgmental side, after the last fight we had."
"I can accept that."
"And if he weren't reasonable, I could always throw him away from my tower, and..." Tony stopped half sentence, while his brain processed the god's answer. "Wait, what?"
The annoyance in Loki's face increased.
"Do not make me repeat myself."
This time, it was Tony's turn to be surprised.
"So you won't try to magic yourself away before you recover, and you won't try to kill me, or to kill the other members of my team?"
"I shall not." A pause, like Loki was about to retract. "Until my staying here is tolerable."
Tony nodded.
"And are you up to talk with Capsicle and the others when you're better?"
"On some conditions."
"What conditions?"
"No one shall try to steal my Tesseract shard. You are not to call Thor before my wounds close. And if one of you attacks me, and I mean anyone, it will be at their own risks."
They were all sensitive requests, nothing Tony hadn't expected, and way more acceptable than he had feared. He nodded before thinking and stood up.
"I'll go tell them the good news, then. Or you need my presence?"
The deadly seriousness with which Loki had dictated his requests was replaced by a disdainful gaze.
"I fear you are overrating the pleasure of your company, Stark."
"I like you too, Rock of Ages." Tony sent him a smile, maybe less sarcastic than he would have wanted, then walked towards the door. "Jarvis, be a good boy and call everyone in the common room. It's time to face the American legend."