A/N: Anyone ordered chapter 26?
Whew! Glad I managed to finish this. I will be in Bali next week, and I wanted to upload this. I know it's a bit rushed and all, but I hope you enjoy this latest one. For all my readers who noted inconsistencies on my chapters, I;m truly sorry. I will amend them after I finish this series. I still have roughly 12 to 15 chapters to go, based on my last count of the outline. I keep on editing and cutting out a few scenes I don't want or I want to add. Oh well.
A little additional notes. Guess who the new character is? A lot of people are probably getting tired of all the past few chapters probing on Haruka's capability of forgetting Ren even after two years has passed. And although she did try to convince them that she is okay, it looked like she is really not. So she needed a good dose of gentle scolding from our new character. It's essential in this series that her confidence and will to endure and survive the heartbreak and hardships is reinforced in her. And yes, I do agree with one of the comments that a woman is more than just her body. And I intend to make her realize it in some way or the other in the future chapters. Thanks to onliafaze for highlighting that part to me.
Title implies Haruka on the verge of breaking out of her comfort zone and getting a lot of boost from a certain new character.
More notes below!
Pardon my grammer and spelling mistakes.
Chapter 26 Chrysalis
Satsuki Shinomiya wiped the thin trickle of sweat covering his brow, before turning to check his brother who came up next to him. Despite the cold December winds rampaging through the capital of Kathmandu, the bustling city was still filled with backpacking tourists, mostly college students and a few retired people in their sixties, dragging their heavy bags and camping gears around.
Indeed, with the temperature bordering to zero degree and bound to get colder still, the ancient city is bustling with modern buildings erected side by side with its ancient counterparts. Buddhist temples and remnants of palaces and ancient walls were dwarfed with multi-storey buildings. It was chaotic, noisy and wonderful to be in the middle of an unconventional city; his ears prickling with the cacophony of foreign tongues, blaring horns and the occasional goats bleating while peddled by locals trying to make a living.
Checking to see his belt bag is secured, he turned around to ask his brother where he wants to eat, when he found himself looking into an empty space beside him. Peddlers on the sidewalk hawking their carpets, prayer beads, street foods and wares jostled for space where his brother stood just a few seconds ago, is now occupied by a middle aged woman, carrying baskets of local goat cheeses.
I should have invested in a good GPS bracelet on Natsuki! He fumed, straining his neck, looking for his errant brother. He can't have disappeared when he was only standing beside him a few minutes before. Refusing to think the worse, he turned around, scanning the crowd. He would recognized his golden hair and impressive height anywhere. Natsuki must have been distracted by something interesting: woven carpets in an explosion of color, strange native music, Buddhist monks making their daily trips in the city, the list is endless.
He walked a few steps forward, looking here and there. Natsuki always like to roam without even telling him where he wants to go. His brother needs a babysitter not a traveling companion!
Then he spotted him crouched in front of a young girl wearing a bright tomato red winter coat. His brother was charming the girl with a simple magic trick of pulling a coin from out of her ear.
"Do that again!" the young girl squealed, as Satsuki reached them.
"Alright, one more time, and you need to give no more trouble to your mommy." Natsuki said, gesturing at the tall woman holding the little girl's hands. The child's family seemed to be part of a group of tourists travelling in the city. Satsuki noted the bus they were riding was parked in the gutter, apparently giving its passengers some time to soak in the city's culture and landscape before it brings them to their next destination.
The young girl nodded, and as Satsuki stood near them, he suddenly understood why the young girl mesmerized his brother.
She bore am aching similarity to a young woman they once knew.
His annoyed expression instantly melted as he perused the girl's laughing face, cheeks pink from the cold. She would have resembled her more had her hair been the same reddish gold waterfall that framed her face and her eyes in bright amber instead of light chocolate eyes.
Producing another coin out from thin air and eliciting a joyous clap from his young audience, his brother patted the young girl's raven tresses before he stood up and waved his goodbye to the mother, who murmured a quiet thank you to him, before pulling her daughter away from their spot with promises of hot chocolate for her mid afternoon snack.
Satsuki felt a light stab of pain in his chest, the prickle of a love lost and a heart that has yet to recover. He schooled his features when his brother finally noticed him.
"Sorry." Natsuki said, grinning. "I couldn't help but show-off a little."
He nodded silently, a slight frown marring his forehead as he tried to grasp the situation in front of him. Something about his brother's wistful expression when he smiled tenderly at the young girl's face.
For a moment, he wondered whether his brother ever felt something for Haruka. When they found out from Magenta that she was missing, he could not forget his brother's face. It was a mixture of both concern and apprehension; the same expression he had displayed when he got involved in a minor car accident a several months prior, the result of which, he got a few stitches on his head and some nasty bruises on his ribcage. Natsuki tried not to show he was worried, and went about arranging for his needs. It was the first time he displayed a sense of responsibility towards him that he never saw before. He was used to being the twin in charge of looking after his younger brother, though they were only born ten minutes apart. When it comes to him losing his composure, his brother would come rushing to take things off his hands and be admirably mature, if only for a few hours.
It was the same thing when he defended him from Jinguuji's veiled accusations of having to do with Haruka's disappearance. He cooly handled Jinguuji and put him on his place. He was proud of his brother that day, despite the fact that he was obviously very worried about Haruka. Natsuki was the one who first met her after all.
And he wondered still, yet again, where she is now. And whether she is happy. The first few months after her disappearance, he could hardly eat or sleep, racking his brains on where she could be staying and what made her leave Jinguuji. He was sure the bastard did something that spooked her to run in the opposition direction. Of what, he doesn't really know. The possible reasons are endless, and the more he tried to dig, the more they seemed ridiculous and highly unlikely. And these are just speculations. He had nothing concrete to prove on his theories against Jinguuji's actions towards her.
During the first few months, he did his own search, sometimes with his brother, a few times with Magenta, who was glad enough to contribute time in the search for her. But the clues Jinguuji provided were scarce, possible leads are either unreliable or obscure, except for the camera records of her withdrawing money from the an atm machine and boarding a public transit train, where it gave them some idea where she went afterwards.
But they scoured through the suburbs near Narita where she was last seen and they could not even find a strand of her hair, nor a breathe of her flowery perfume. Nothing.
"When a person doesn't want to be found, she would make certain she won't be." Magenta had surmised that day after clearing all the hotels and student hostels around the area. They have finally come to the last item of the list of places where she could be.
Satsuki had to agree. Magenta had never been more serious that day, and he was disappointed and crushed when they finally have to concede defeat. And his agreement with Magenta was a bitter pill to swallow: Haruka did not even have enough courage to approach him to ask for help. It was that knowledge alone that hurt the most.
"Here."
Satsuki was startled out of his reverie and saw his brother handing him a brown-wrapped package. Opening it, his nose was assailed with the smell of baked pastry and lamb. The samosas sold in the streets is piping hot, delicious and every bit as savory as what the online backpackers are raving about when he was doing the research for their Himalayan trek. And it only whetted his appetite in anticipation of their main meal.
"By the way, Satsuki." His brother has finished his own pastry and was about to drink water from his own insulated water bottle, when he spoke. "Shining Saotome is in Paris and has expressed his desire to meet with us over a possible collaboration with his student."
"Indeed?" Satsuki raised his eyebrows in suspicion.
Shining Saotome, was one of their deceased father's closest friends, who often collaborated with him during his works with the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra. Saotome, despite his unusual first name of Shining, was not actually someone who often interacts with other people, as strangers would have surmised with a person sporting that name, except when it pleases him. He was notoriously famous for being a strict disciplinarian, who has an eye for spotting talent a mile away, and rarely accepts students; unless they could afford his astronomical tuition fee. As one musical critique would summarize, "he shines dramatically when he has accomplished something that benefits the onwards progression of arts and music. And anything he touches turns to gold."
Natsuki nodded, "Yeah, he's been raving about this student he recently accepted. And wants us to do some kind of collaborated album for her debut. He personally secured a couple of invites for a special sneak preview of her talents at some charity function."
"What has gotten into that stubborn old goat again, bothering us with his absurd ideas." Satsuki replied irritably, momentarily forgetting his musings about Haruka. "I thought he was hibernating for good?!"
"He's on a two year sabbatical, touring Central America and perfecting his bongo playing." His brother corrected, grinning. "Can't blame the old man for trying to perfect his craft even after enjoying the fruits of his success."
"True." He grudgingly agreed. "But can't he just quit bothering us to visit him. I swear! He's like an irritable father constantly nagging us to get married year after year." He gave a shudder, remembering the last time Shining Saotome invited them over for a short visit. He had sent over his private jet with instructions on his crew to help them pack for their vacation. And they ended up in the middle of nowhere. Literally.
"Aww, come on!" his brother gave a chuckle. "Time spent in Antartica is a humbling experience!"
"Don't remind me!" Satsuki clapped his hands to cover his ears, ignoring the surprise looks thrown by the passersby eyeing them cautiously. They must have looked impressive in the eyes of the locals: two towering blond giants with green eyes and looked exactly alike. "Three weeks of hearing nothing but howling winds and noisy penguins is a nightmare. And the night is so eerily quiet its deafening!"
"At least we got to hear the whales sing under the thick layers of ice." His brother enthused happily.
Trust Natsuki to get the most out of everything. After their expedition to the remote continent, he had managed to acquire the rights to do the entire soundtrack composition of a famous European adventure explorer's documentary of his own Arctic adventures. The documentary won an international film award and garnered several prestigious nominations.
Satsuki sighed, albeit somewhat relieved to see his brother in his usual spirited self. He had been so wrapped up with his own feelings of helplessness and hurt over Haruka's disappearance that he never bothered to pay close attention to his brother's welfare for once. It was selfish on his part, and he was a bit guilty for the neglect. Neither of them really made the effort to talk about it since they both agreed to stop looking for her. It was still a painful topic they both avoided to discuss.
"Fine." He said wearily. He mentally counted the days left before they depart for Paris. Roughly a month before Christmas comes. They still have time to skirt around Bhutan and head straight to Myanmar. They can take a flight out of Rangoon and head straight to Istanbul for a few days before coming to Paris. He estimated they could arrive there a few days before the holidays. Just in time to avoid the crush of passengers scrambling to get to their respective homes to spend their holidays. The small apartment listed under their father's name was still being maintained by the old Parisian couple who took care of their father when he was studying there decades ago. They can take their much-needed rest.
If he had his way, he would have preferred to just go home back to Tokyo as originally planned and bury himself with the work they put on hold because of their trip. They have been extremely busy especially the good part of the past year, as a surge of commercial jingles and soap opera theme songs kept them preoccupied. There were a few songs they have not delivered yet for a pop artist, but nothing he could not manage. "Uncle" Saotome has beckoned, and they must heed his request to see them.
oOoOoOo
It started as a soft hymn, building the mood slowly. Haruka closed her eyes, concentrating on the sheets she had practiced so hard for the past two weeks. Her private instructor only gave her that small time frame to prepare something to present, and she had wished she should not have neglected to practice daily instead of the regular allotted time she had set up with the events organizer to prepare for her debut. She was having so much fun enjoying the streets of Paris again that by the time she realized it, it was already a full month before the scheduled Midwinter Ball.
She was almost horrified to find the handwritten letter waiting for her once she got home from a private night museum tour of the Louvre that Masato had arranged for her, alone. She missed visiting the museum; missed staring at the statue of winged Nike, the goddess of victory, standing at Daru staircase in all her glory; or Venus de Milo, her beautiful face forever frozen in marble by the ancient sculptor Praxiteless. Now, the refreshed memories of priceless marbles crumbled into dust as she perused the letter's contents.
Dear Mademoiselle,
I am very pleased to invite you for a short assessment two weeks from today's date.
Yours sincerely,
S.S.
Haruka winced slightly when her fingers failed to press one correct key. She had chosen to play La campanella, the third etude from the Grand Paganini Etudes, a personal favorite of hers because of its brisk allegretto tempo. She wanted something beautiful and difficult to play, the latter reason would help her impress her private instructor. Masato, though influential enough, had mentioned that he did have some difficulty persuading the man to accept her, and she does not want to disappoint.
Gritting her teeth, she closed her eyes, feeling her tension seeping from her fingers as she worked her way through the ivory keys. Her right hand jumped between intervals, and as she builds the climax, her speed increases.
Why can't I just sit back and enjoy the music? She thought to herself, hitching her breath when her finger missed another key again. Thank God her debut program won't be as difficult as this. She bit off more than she can chew when she chose this piece, and its too late to regret now.
She frowned a little, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes, when she finally finished playing. She wanted to say her thanks and leave while she still has some of her remaining dignity. Ashamed at her own stupidity and arrogance, she wanted the floor to open up and just swallow her whole. She had performed poorly.
A small clap.
"Very brave of you, Miss Nanami, to chose this piece to play. I noted you missed a couple of keys somewhere during the second and fourth part." The gruff voice of the instructor said mildly.
She stood up from the small bench and bowed politely. "My apologies for not playing my best. Giving out excuses would be unacceptable and I blame myself for being overly confident and assuming that I can tackle this piece."
"Oh, I understand, Miss Nanami, what you were doing. You were trying to impress me."
She cursed inwardly. He'll probably kick her out of his posh apartment and banish her from playing such an abysmal interpretation. And she was just starting her career and already, she made a bad impression. Unprofessionalism will get her nowhere. She should have addressed her limitations right from the start.
"Come." He extended out a hand toward her.
She looked up at him with her mouth hanging slightly open, surprised that he still hasn't shown the way out to her.
His brown eyes twinkled with humor; his disheveled, curly, brown hair clashed magnificently against his blue and green Hawaiian shirt. Deeply tanned, probably because of spending too much time under the sun, his skin coloring made his teeth look even more whiter, including the whites of his eyes, despite the dark tint of his gold-rimmed eyeglasses covering them.
Shining Saotome.
An unusual name for such an unusual middle-aged man. Haruka only knew the man in front of her during her first few weeks at Vienna, when his name was casually mentioned during one of her classes. Shining was very popular today because of his uncanny ability of spotting raw talent. He has been credited to kick-starting the career of a few dozen musicians and musical prodigies after assessing their capabilities. And his influence is vast, often reaching out to his friends in the music business, suggesting possible collaborations that often came to fruition. And he is always given credit when prestigious awards were given in recognition of the collaborations.
For the past decade, his name was often synonymous with talented individuals. Indeed, anyone caught by Shining Saotome's discerning eyes literally just shine.
She tentatively took the hand offered to her. Though she was still shaking from embarrassment, with the way he was accessing her, she felt herself calming down. His energy seemed to radiate from within his body, and pushing its power towards her fingertips.
"Ah ma belle you shouldn't despair about the etudes. Paganini made sure that his works would be extremely tricky as befits a genius like him. Although I must say, your attempts are impressive enough, but your demeanor is more suited for jazzy, dreamy tunes." Shining Saotome nodded to himself, leading her out to the back patio of his penthouse suite, where the French doors were fully opened into glass structure filled with lots of exoic flowering plants blooming magnificently despite the cold weather outside. Haruka noted that the temperature was carefully controlled in this part of the suite. The weather outside is chilly with the oncoming northern winds, signaling the end of autumn and the start of the reign of winter. She herself went out of Masato's Parisian apartment, bundled up in a thick coat, though her palms were sweaty with nerves.
They sat on one of the wrought iron tables and chairs, where a small spread of snacks was on display: delicate tea cakes and cucumber finger sandwiches, along with pots of hot tea and coffee. His own personal butler has just finished pouring out a cup of Earl Grey for her which she accepted before withdrawing from the room to give them some privacy as the man contemplates on her future.
"Talent just pours out from your very fingertips." Shining Saotome continued, taking a sip of tea from his own cup. "However, I might encounter some roadblocks from you."
Haruka almost choked on her tea, splashing some on her dark skirt. How ghastly! "I-I beg your pardon, Monsieur?" Perhaps, this is how he will inform her that he changes his mind about accepting her.
He gave a deep chuckle, and she winced slightly, expecting a torrent of words to describe her horrid performance. Stop it, Haruka! And pay attention!
"I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I have this curious habit for spotting talents like you. I mean, I know your patron; Hirijikawa has been lobbying so hard these past few months for me to accept you as my student. I have to admit; I was very much reluctant at first. I was bored and I was on the verge of spending more time in Central America." He pulled something out from a designer bag, next to the chair where he was sitting. Something about the old notebook he was holding seemed familiar to her.
Her notebook.
The notebook she left behind in her dingy apartment more than three years ago. The notebook where she wrote down every private thoughts that run through her mind while trying to make her living in the streets of Paris. Her dreams, her poems, her songs. Her thoughts. Even her private dreams about Ren Jinguuji.
She paled. "H-how… Where.."
He noted her expression, and his grin died down. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mademoiselle. I know this is your precious possession. I did not read all your entries here. I swear. I only peeked at some of the poems and lyrics that you wrote. Such raw talent!" he praised, holding out the tattered notebook to her.
She took the bound notebook with trembling fingers. It was one of her mother's last gifts to her before she died. It was her twelfth birthday. She had remembered feeling particularly miffed. She wished for a beautiful piece of black onyx sculpture she had her eye on for quite some time. But her mother was all for mushy mementos of highschool crushes and all the anticipations and disappointments that come with preparing for prom, hence the velvet journal.
"something to record your wishes, and the giggles and tears you share with your friends." Her mother said beaming, missing her crestfallen face.
The journal represented all her mother's hopes and all her own regrets. When she was given the time to sort out mementos to take with her before she was assigned to a foster care home, she unearthed the journel underneath a pile of discarded textbooks. And her heart crumpled. She did not even managed to thank her mother properly for her gift; even after her father bought the onyx sculpture for her that night. The journal stayed with her, the sculpture did not. It was one of the items that was quickly sold in the auction block.
It took her quite some time before she was able to crack open its pages. The velvet still retained some of her mother's smell. Diorissimo. Her mother's favorite perfume. A scent from a time lost and a past filled with love and dreams.
And when she finally had the courage to write on it. She dedicated the first page to a poem she wished she could have recited to her parents while they were still alive. And after that, the next pages were easily filled with her mournings. The tears she was unable to shed when her parents' coffins were lowered to the ground. All those years of sadness and loneliness which she had slowly and painfully exorcised out of her heart and soul.
"Your songs and poems are touching. It brims with much unhappiness and regrets that it shook me to the core. They evoke powerful memories of my own regrets. You have the passion I want. But your grips to the past is still apparent in the way you move, the way you play your instruments, the way you tilt your head, the way you breathe. I cannot teach a student that is living and breathing but is on the verge of dying any moment." He looked somber.
Tears welled up in her eyes when she looked up. "I-I…" she stopped. Is this what he meant by roadblocks?
Tomo-chan was saying the same thing to her. Even Masato, breaking his usual decorum of not showing his emotions around her, promised to be by her side. Was she really turning into a vacuum of despair? Had her years of staying in Vienna still not fulfilled its promise of letting her forget her past? Was it that apparent?
Haruka Nanami, you are a fool! The voice inside her head said. Indeed, how can a butterfly emerge out of its cocoon if it keeps holding in to the recesses of its chrysalis?
Are you afraid, Haruka? Tomo-chan had asked. She had reassured her friend she is ok. But her reassurances were half empty. She was still unsure of the path she was in. And it was affecting the people around her.
She tightened her grip on the notebook. "I know my limitations. And I am familiar with my weaknesses. But I am determined. I guess therein lies my passion." She said with finality. She knows very well the taste of defeat and humiliation.
"Haruka. I have very little to teach you. All those studies on how to read music, the moods, the pitch, harmony and other technical terms you associate musical creation with, they all mean nothing without passion. And I see you glowing with it." Shining Saotome put his teacup down and took her hands with his. His large, calloused hands feels very warm and loving.
"But.." she protested, her courage wavering slightly. "I am just starting and I would need your help. I cannot do this alone." She said a little uncertainly. What is he trying to say? Will he accept her or not? She held her breath.
"But of course you will have it!" he said, smiling slowly. "I would be delighted to guide you. And you should be confident. You cannot forever bury yourself to the past. It is time to spread your wings and test their capabilities. There would be mistakes as you go along, but it is part of the learning process. To endure with grace and fighting spirit."
Haruka heaved out a sigh, relieved. She had passed the hurdle. And this man will be able to guide her.
They talked a lot afterwards. He had asked many questions about her. Deep, probing questions that seemed at times a bit intrusive and personal. It was a bit awkward at first. But the longer she talked, the more comfortable she feels opening up to him little by little. She sensed he was still assessing her capabilities. He could very well have got the necessary information about her through Masato, but it seems that Monsieur Saotome may be digging deeper on how to handle her case. She trust him enough to know that she is in his capable hands, her career is secure. She knew that deep inside, and her confidence grew, the more she talked to him. By the time he was escorting out of his penthouse suite and into the portico at the sumptuous first story lobby, where a car was waiting for her outside, she was laughing and talking at ease with him like a niece to a doting uncle.
"Ma belle, I will see you for tea next week, my secretary will inform you the time and place. Our lessons will start afterwards." He was leaning over the window, after she was safely ensconced within the inside of the car Masato had designated for her.
She nodded, feeling quite happy and bubbly for the first time in two weeks. She was already waving goodbye to him when it suddenly occurred to her to ask him where he got her journal.
Quickly, she leaned out of the window. "Uncle Saotome," she called out, for that was what he insisted her to call him, "May I ask where you got my journal? I thought it was lost during my untimely eviction from the building where I stayed years ago."
He looked mildly surprised at her question, as if to think she should have known where he got it. But he shrugged. "Masato. Masato Hirijikawa. He always carried it with him whenever he visited to persuade me to accept you."
"Oh." She was puzzled. How the hell did Masato managed to acquire her notebook then?
"It was thanks to that notebook that I finally consented to accept you. It fell out of his inside pocket of his coat during his last visit. He was most annoyed when I started flipping through it and read your works accidentally. Like he doesn't want anyone to see it and know that he has it. But there you go. The musical gods are apparently conspiring for it to happen. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here." He waved his goodbye before turning back to walk inside the glass revolving entrance doors of his luxurious apartment building.
Haruka was frowning when the car finally pulled out of the driveway. Her brow furrowed, mind, deep in thought. Masato hiding her journal. What else was he hiding from her?
oOoOoOo
A/N: I do hope I managed to send all my thank yous to readers who took the time to comment on the latest chapters. If not, let me thank you again for your patience, understanding and wonderful inputs on the story and characters I am shaping. You guys rock! On a special note, .7, yes I kinda agree that Haruka needs a bit of change to make her look more mature. I shall see about how I want her to look when she makes her debut at the Midwinter ball.
I look forward to reading your comments soon. And I hope you check out my other works. I'm due for another update on Cecil's Muse and Porcelain. So please watch out for it.
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