A/N: I'm very sorry for not being able to update the story last week. My computer gave me some trouble. Thank you for the lovely reviews.

Chapter 26 – Visitors to the Cottage

Edward's POV

Wait a minute that last hand signal was vaguely familiar and come to think of it I could read minds. The hand gestures were sign language and it read "f*ck her harder." What the hell!

"JASPER! EMMETT!" I screamed.

"What?" Bella's heartbeat grew even stronger as she looked at me with a bewildered expression.

"Bella, that was Jasper and Emmett, not aliens." I quickly closed off the retractable roof and grabbed the two bath robes that were in the bathroom wrapping us both in them after rubbing us down as fast as I could. What were my brothers doing at this time of the night at our cottage? I listened to their talk.

"I told you it was a bad idea, you didn't listen." Jasper was telling Emmett.

"But wasn't it fun to scare them?" Emmett was giggling like a girl. I cringed.

"Bella was really scared; I don't want to be in her bad books. She might not allow me to wear the civil war uniform to the wedding." Jasper sounded very worried. Will my girl change her mind? I looked at Bella she looked pissed off. I couldn't help the smile that spread on my face.

"Where are they Edward? Wait till I get them." She was huffing and heading for the front door where we came face-to-face with our cat burglars or should I say 'cat interior decorators' since they were carrying the washing machine sculpture from the store room to the living room.

"What do you think you are doing?" My girl shouted at the two frozen statues in the living room.

"We...er…well I can explain…" Jasper stammered. He was really agitated. Emmett, however, was all smiles. I swear nothing fazed him.

"We are just helping you decorate, Bella." He said.

"Well, you have a really bad eye for color. How on earth do you think a pile of metal matches with the warm earthy tones in this living room?" She was really pissed off and sounded very sarcastic. Her hands were at her hips in a very aggressive stance making me take a step back. She was going to make a formidable vampire. The two large vampires slowly kept 'the sculpture' on the ground.

"We didn't actually think of that…er we could change it?" Emmett was scratching his head.

"Change it how?"

"Anyway you want Bella."Jasper put in.

"Paint it to match the color on the walls of the library. I want it in this corner." Bella pointed to a hidden side corner which is not so visible from the living room. I heaved a sigh of relief. These two really did think they were geniuses for making the sculpture so I didn't really want to hurt their feelings, but the pile of metal really did look horrible, just like a pile of scrap metal is meant to look.

"Okay, Bella we can do that. What were the two of you doing in that hot tub?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows.

"That is none of your business Emmett. I was having some alone time with my fiancé and I think you should be ashamed of yourself for interrupting it. Isn't it bad enough we have Alice up our asses 24/7?" Bella huffed.

Jasper looked very embarrassed and I could see a faint blush on the tips of his ears. Now all of us were feeling embarrassed including Emmett. Great just great, looks like Jasper was finding it hard to control his emotions.

"We are very sorry Bella; we only came to put the sculpture in its proper place before your parents came to visit. Please, do forgive us for the interruption." He put in his most gentlemanly southern accent.

"Sorry sis, we really didn't expect to find you here. When you called us aliens…err…we just couldn't help playing up to the parts." Emmett stammered.

"Oh, never mind I forgive you. Just don't make it a habit. Now get on with the sculpture. And I think you should sort of crush it a bit more to really get it to fit in nicely in that corner." Bella showed the corner she mentioned earlier again.

"Sure, will do sis." Emmett nodded his head much too enthusiastically to my liking, but I let it go.

"Shall we cut some fresh flowers from the garden Edward? I think it would give the cottage a warm welcoming look if we have some wild flowers around. What do you think?" Bella asked me smiling.

"I think that's a lovely idea." That's how we ended up plucking flowers and arranging them into small vases around the cottage during the early morning hours. When dawn broke, we rushed home to Charlie's.

Bella's POV

I looked at the eager faces of my parents staring at me.

"Mom, dad, I've got a surprise for you. Come let me show you." Renee was of course very excited and talked non-stop all the way to the cottage trying to get me to tell them what the surprise was. Charlie looked more thoughtful.

"Well, this is a nice bridge. I never noticed it before." Well that was because Alice built it just last night. I heard from Edward that she and Esme had walked over it many times to give it an old worn out look since Charlie might become suspicious about how we got over the river to build the cottage and decorate it without a bridge.

When we reached the clearing and came to the cottage surrounded by the roses and the wild flowers, Renee and Charlie both gasped and looked speechless.

"Mom, dad, this is our cottage. This is where we will be living after we're married." I felt Edward putting a comforting hand around me and kissing the top of my head. I couldn't help the wide grin that spread across my face. I was so happy.

"Edward built it and I decorated it with help from the family. Do you like our new home?" That finally brought them out of their shocked stupor.

"Bella! Oh, my God! This is…this is…it's so beautiful honey. You're going to be so happy here." Renee gushed moving forward to hug both of us. I saw suspicious looking moisture in Charlie's eyes and I couldn't fathom the odd look on his face. I had never seen it before.

"It looks nice kiddo," was all he managed to say, but there was so much emotion behind his words, and I saw him nod at Edward who gave him a proud smile.

I unlocked the door and lead them into the living room.

"Wow, this looks like something out of a fairytale. I love it honey. Where did you find all this furniture? It looks perfect for this place." Mom moved forward reverently caressing the living room sofa. I bought the one with the softest cushions so that I could cuddle with Edward during cold winter evenings near the fireplace. It also has a very sturdy frame in case my husband gets a little frisky during those cuddle sessions.

"How many rooms does it have?" As always, Renee was rushing to check the rest of the house without taking the time to look at the room she was in.

I showed her the beautiful bedroom with the heavenly bathroom. I saw Emmett and Jasper say something earning Emmett a knock on the back of his head from Rose. The tips of Edward's ears became slightly red while Jasper ruffled his hair muttering something to him. Alice was grinning like an idiot. Okay, that was one exchange I was glad none of the humans could hear, including me.

The large four poster bed covered with white drapes was the centre piece of the bedroom. Small bedside cupboards adorned the sides. When Renee saw the extensive wardrobe Alice had made for us she was like a kid in a candy store looking at all the gorgeous clothes Alice and I had bought. I had a say in each purchase so yes they were all gorgeous. Charlie simply shook his head and I saw Edward sharing a smile with him. The walls were bare at the moment since I was planning to hang framed pictures from our honeymoon on the walls. They were going to be landscapes. I trusted Edward when he said that I was going to want to take pictures of the beautiful scenery we would see. Alice had agreed with him.

"Bella, honey, this bedroom is beautiful and you know I saw the most wonderful tie-dyed curtains you could get for a change, it would brighten the whole place up. I can buy them for you." Renee stated and I saw Edward's eyes go wide which was probably what I looked like. I totally needed to stop the crazy décor train, and quickly.

"Mom, I appreciate you offering." I felt Edward squeeze my hand in encouragement. "However, I want to live with these for a while because I just love them so much and so does Edward. We spent a long time selecting them." Okay that was partially true; we may have selected them, but did so in about 5 seconds flat. We were using soft whites and creams so that we could have a sort of a blank canvas.

"We are planning to hang some beautiful pictures on the walls from our honeymoon so we don't want anything to clash with them." Edward suddenly added.

"I love the place where Edward is going to take Bella. I'm sure the pictures will add a lot of vibrant colours to the room." I saw Edward glare at the pixie who cringed once she realized she'd given a way some information about the honeymoon location to me."

"Oh! Vibrant colours ha? So I guess I should cut off Antarctica from the list." I couldn't help teasing Edward. I saw a reluctant smile spread across his face.

"Sure, love. I don't particularly want to eat penguins." Edward made a face. I saw Charlie looking at him at his serious tone and then just shake his head as if to clear it.

"Mom, it's going to be beautiful in here."

"Alright sweetie, but if you ever want them, just let me know."

"Thanks Renee, we will." Edward said and my mom smiled.

We moved onto the ensuite, glad to have dodged psychedelic Renee. Charlie really liked the Jacuzzi tub and the retractable roof. I was surprised at that. Renee loved my small kitchen and then finally we came back into the living room. It was then that I finally remembered to look for the dreaded sculpture. Crap!

Edward's POV

"Edward, please tell me that's not what I think it is?" Bella gestured toward where the washing machine sculpture should be. I nearly fainted when I saw it, and gasped in shock. Holy shit! This was surely not happening to me. However, the thoughts coming from the others confirmed my worst fears. Esme gasped disbelievingly, but quickly tried to get Charlie's and Renee's attention diverted elsewhere to the fireplace.

Bella's warm hand squeezed mine a little more tightly.

"Edward, is that a… sprouting out of the water?" She blushed and her heart rate doubled.

"Do you like the cock waterfall Edward? You and Bella gave us the idea. We thought it would hold special memories for you to have of both the tub and the washing machine. Although, it would've been better if you modeled for us." Emmett grinned.

I couldn't really say anything because I was totally rendered speechless. There was a cock shaped object on one side of the washing machine bowl which was now nicely decorated with pebbles and filled with water. Two large pebbles acted as the balls. The cock sprouted out water from its head like a waterfall. The whole thing looked amazingly like an art sculpture since it was now painted to match the wall. You could not guess that it was formerly a heap of metal. There was even a switch board in front. Small plants adorned the small bowl like a pond. It actually looked really nice like a small miniature waterfall; that is if you can ignore the giant pink elephant in the room that, it was of a cock. I wondered whether anyone else figured it out.

"What is this?" Charlie moved towards the water fountain.

"It's…er…it's…a…" I stammered. I think I'm sweating; could vampires sweat? Jesus! Bella and her family sure know how to bring out the human in me.

"It's a housewarming gift from Emmett and Jasper." Bella completed my sentence. I gave her a grateful look.

"We made it ourselves; guess what it is?" I was so thankful that he didn't come right out and say what it was.

"I helped with the plants. They wanted to make sure it blends in nicely with the room décor. Bella had insisted on that. So I added the bit of greenery to give it a warm fuzzy feeling." A dreamy look came over the face of the little pixie, who I might add was chirpy as ever. Of course she knew of this disaster in the making. I glared at her for not saving us. And she had the audacity to shrug. I'll get her back for that.

"Well, this is something." Charlie bent down to take a closer look. He noticed the cock shaped thing sprouting out water and shook his head as if to make sure he was seeing correctly. Then he chuckled to himself giving me a pitying look. I was so embarrassed that he knew what it was. He actually reached out and patted me on my back.

"Boys will be boys," he muttered under his breath. I'm sure Bella heard him because she gasped and I could see a fresh wave of heated embarrassment from her. I cuddled her closer to me with my arm.

"Oh, what a lovely thoughtful gift, look how velvety soft this log is." Renee said reaching out to lightly run her hand over the smooth surface of the cock. Oh! God! She didn't just do that did she? Jasper and Emmett burst out laughing along with Rose and Alice. Even Esme covered her face with her hands in chagrin. Bella hid her face in my chest. Charlie and I visibly cringed while Carlisle finally decided to come closer to get a better look at the object that created such a wide range of emotions within our party.

As soon as he saw it he figured out what it was.

"Boys!" He admonished Jasper and Emmett shaking his head in disbelief, but a small smile tugged at the side of his lips that gave away his amusement. When he finally met my eyes he thought at me, "I'm sorry Edward, it really is a fine piece of work, I can't help admiring their ingenuity for creating it."

"What's this?" Charlie asked pointing to the control panel on the side. Well the control panel of the washing machine to be exact.

To my horror he pressed on the fuzzy function button and a valve in the bottom of the bowl opened and closed blowing out bubbles periodically. I hadn't notice it previously. My perverted mind realized that it represented something vulgar. I couldn't help the questioning glance I gave Emmett.

"Yep, it's one of those girly bits. We just couldn't leave Bella out of it could we? She'd say it was discrimination if only males were represented. So we decided to have female representation as well." At least he had the sense to think this at me without blurting it out. My god! I had a vulgar sculpture in my living room. How could I ever live with this?

"What are all these buttons? Economy, Delicate wash, Jeans? There's even buttons for spin and water level adjustments. Did you get the parts from a washing machine?" Charlie asked.

"Yep, it's the one that Edward and Bella broke the first day you came to lunch remember?" Emmett enlightened everybody to the last bit of juicy information I had feverishly hoped would remain unsaid.

"Reduce, reuse and recycle." I was so embarrassed that I didn't think much about the next words that I managed to blurt out. Shit! Did I just say that out loud? Esme smiled and gave me a reassuring look. Yes. I guess I did.

"Oh! I remember, naughty, naughty…" Renee gave me that funny look and I remembered she figured out exactly what happened in the laundry room that day.

"So do all the buttons work?" Charlie asked valiantly trying to control his laughter while giving me a dirty look that said, I know what you did kid. He finally figured out that we must have broken it while making out on top of it. He remembered our rumpled appearance from that day. He thought about his gun and then about how he'd already shot me. Then he thought to himself, "These kids are more trouble than I ever thought they could be. I don't know how Carlisle and Esme manage them," shaking his assumed that Emmett and Jasper must have done something too, to cause the damage he saw.

Renee proceeded to press each button. The delicate wash made the water flow out really slowly creating a small stream while jeans made the water flow out with more pressure creating a fountain. The economy was the function it had been on earlier. The water level of course controlled the actual water level. Spin made the water swirl around. I had to reluctantly admit that it was a very nice miniature water fixture if not for its crude representation of certain body parts.

"You boys are so creative. I love it. Will you make one for me too? I mean it doesn't have to be from a washing machine. Any other appliance would do." Oh god no! Renee didn't just ask them to make another sculpture.

"Sure Renee! We'd love to make one for you. What would you like in it? What are your hobbies? We made this one to represent Edward and Bella's favorite hobby." Emmett had the nerve to wink at me. Charlie and I had identical looks of shock on our faces. SHIT! Thankfully Charlie decided he just didn't want to know. Three more days…three more days…he kept muttering to himself.

"Oh, thank you boys so much. You know I want to get in on the ground floor before you get famous and I'll have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for something of this size. Size definitely matters." Renee went on.

'Hmmm, size of my husband, now that's a size that matters. Oops sorry Edward' Esme thought and I had to refrain myself from visibly cringing.

"Why yes, size is important." Emmett stated. "And we know Edward would want something substantial as he's a large and in-charge kind of guy." I was mortified and I saw my girl blush beet red but the little minx's next words, 'I like how large and in-charge you are,' left both Emmett and me slack jawed. Edward junior was pretty happy to hear this or should I call him Big Ed?

"I'm sure Bella appreciates that about Edward, but you two should think about showing your things at one of those art shows they have in Seattle every so often. I've been to a few and I can say that what you've made here is far better and more interesting than anything I've seen there." Renee added.

"Really? Wow!" Jasper and Emmett were now smiling from ear-to-ear. Alice thought that they were about two seconds away from strutting around like peacocks. I had to agree with her.

"Absolutely. Carlisle, Esme, you really should encourage them to do it."

"Of…course…" Esme barely got out looking at Carlisle.

"We always encourage our children in their pursuits." Carlisle responded while valiantly trying to hold in his laugher.

"I'm so happy to hear that because lots of parents aren't so open-minded. It's so nice to see such talent not go to waste." Renee went on.

"Oh mom and pops always support us in everything we do, whether it's wresting bears or like when Alice wanted to join the circus to be the human cannonball. She actually did manage to fit in there because she was so small." Emmett rattled out and we all stood there shocked, well more like worried that they'd believe that.

"I DID NOT want to join the circus; I wanted to go to the circus you nutball. There's a difference. I may have climbed into the cannon, but that was just to check what it felt like." Alice defended with a huff.

Oh, shit! We were digging even bigger holes trying to explain things but just then Charlie and Renee both burst out laughing. Their thoughts indicated that they found it all very funny. We joined in their laughter.

"Oh look at the time, come on Charlie, we need to get back to the house before the delivery guy gets there." Renee quickly ushered Charlie out the door.

"We'll walk you to your car." Carlisle said and took Esme's hand as they followed them out the door leaving us with our artists.

"Ooo, look, gotta go, sculptures to plan and make." Emmett practically bounced out of the house.

"Hey you guys, do us a favour and please go at it on any other appliances you can find and break them; you should get on that now and save the parts for us." Jasper yelled as the four of them ran out the door laughing leaving us standing there slack jawed and staring at one another wondering if all that really happened.

Bella turned to me and walked her fingers up my chest putting her arms around me and whispered in my ear, "you, me, the dryer."

I smiled as I quickly grabbed her into my arms and whisked her towards the said appliance.

A/N: Jasper and Emmett want to know what you think of their sculpture. Please review and let them know. Maybe they just might make a sculpture for you!

Thank you Dazzleglo for the wonderful beta work!

I would also like to mention that Dazzleglo and I are writing a story for the Toys for Tots compilation, so for as little as $5 you'll be one of the first to read Vamp & Were's Place. Emmett watches too much Food Network with Seth and they decide to open a vampire and werewolf themed restaurant, only they go a bit too far. The Voluri are invited to the pre-opening, Bella & Edward end up with an addiction (something funny), and there are some interesting illegal-ish activities of sorts that are going on to serve the diverse guests. And you never know what's on the menu…

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