Disclaimer: Did this ever happen to you, too? You own Phil of the Future. Life is good and makes sense -- then you're abducted by aliens. When they're done probing you (ouch) and let you go, all traces of evidence of PotF ever being yours are now unexplained, forgotten, oblivious -- or, in the vernacular, U.F.O. "The truth is out there?" Maybe. If you find my ownership deed, drop me a line, but until then I must, for legal reasons, state (not admit, "state") that I don't own Phil of the Future or a DeLorean that tops out at a measily 88 miles per hour.
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Neil? Neil, would you please pick up if you're home? Your lights are on, but your curtains just closed. This is Beverly, you know, Veronica's mother? You two went out for a while, but it ended, so we never did get together for Christmas, but that's not important right now. I was just driving by your house when I noticed something fishy was just going on in your backyard. Some pumped-up muscly beach god with blonde locks down to his shoulders was talking with -- maybe it was a couple of teens -- maybe it's a gang? I don't know. I thought this was a nice neighborhood when I visited last time. Didn't hear your yappy dog this time, but there was a strange light in the sky above your house. It appeared suddenly from nowhere, hovered over your house for a minute, then rocketed away like something from, well -- you are still a member of the Pickford U.F.O. - Chili Tasting Club, aren't you? Maybe some of your fellow nuts, I mean 'members' also saw it -- OH MY! Or maybe I'm a nutter, too, cuz I think I just saw my first alien encounter! Neil? Are you there? This is fantastic! Neil, I'm walking up to your front door right now. With that light in the sky gone, everything's gone quiet. Wait, I hear a someone inside your place. Neil, it sounds like you. What are you doing, counting to a thousand before answering the phone? Is this the thanks I get? This is the last time I try and be a good neighbor for you. Veronica was right about you! The kids are right, too! You really do put the 'ass' in 'assistant' principal.
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