AN: Oh my gosh, it's finally here!! The chapter you've all been waiting for! I'm sure you want to know how super busy I've been, but I actually have a day off today. I mean I should be studying, but I've just finished my prac teaching and think I deserve it. I've been writing and rewriting this chapter for the better part of three months and now I have actually finished it. Actually lost bits of it somewhere which was very silly. And it's an extra long chapter because there was no way to cut it in half. Anyway, this chapter has really been ticking me off (though it does class as one of my favourites chapters of the series). It's been the hardest chapter to write of the whole series (and I thought Sam and Jack's dance in Sam's Wedding was hard). And not only because it is such a pivotal chapter. You see, in the past three years you think I would have kissed someone. Came close to it once though. So I had no idea how to write part of this scene. I mean, you don't have to go commit murder to be able to write a crime story about it. So, I watched Never Been Kissed (which is one of the best screen kisses), and read BT 4 + 5 which are my favourite kisses of the series (you all know what I'm talking about right?) and kind of got a feel for it. It's supposed to be the climax of the whole story though, so if you think it could be better, or it just totally sucked (could or could not be a Freudian slip) drop me a line. If you really feel the story (it's hard to feel it in the same way as the author sometimes), and think you could do a better job than me (not in an egoistical way) have a go, and I will replace my kissing scene. Or if you really like it despite these low expectations I'm giving you, you can tell me too. (hint hint)
Oh and thanks to ALIMOO for her previous suggestions, and giving me a kick in the butt to keep the story moving, though that was a whole month ago. Well, at least I'm determined to always finish what I start. (Like my uni degree).
Finally the chapter you've all been waiting for is here! (way too much bracketed stuff in this AN by the way)!

Chapter Twenty Five

(For emotional connection purposes, O'Neill will be called Jack in this chapter, but will still be the present Jack O'Neill).

Finally, Pete Shanahan was gone. Sam herself had escorted him to the topside and given him a hug goodbye before he had hopped into the car that would drive him to his motel. Janet had given him a clean bill of health, and after sorting everything out, including some paperwork; Sam had let him go.
It wasn't the hardest thing she had ever done, but a part of her was still reluctant to let him go. She wasn't going to deny that it had felt nice to actually have a life, to have someone who cared for and was there when she got home from work.
Now she was going home again, and would probably be doing nothing for the rest of the evening. If it had been her decision she would have simply stayed at the base until she was ready to face her empty house.

But she and SG-1 had been order some downtime. Just a week and she really had no choice but to go home.

She had asked if Janet and Cassie had wanted to come over and keep her company, but they had tickets for a show tonight and so Sam had driven home by herself, stopping at a takeout restaurant to get some healthy, substantial fast food.

Well, she hadn't watched Friends in ages. She was only up to watching Season 3, that could be fun to do. Switching on the light in her modest home, Sam settled in, but on further thought she went to check her mail box, finding various bills… and a note. "Sam, meet me at Wightman park at 1830, Jack."

It was 1815 and Wightman Park was across the road and down a little ways. Clutching the note in her right hand and her other mail in the other, she dashed into her house and chucked it on the table, grabbing her keys, a cardigan, her dinner and some sandals.

She locked the door behind her and checked for cars, crossed the road, and made her way to the table area.

She sat down and started eating, her mind had not even had the time to contemplate such a note, and she had instinctively obeyed it. But he had addressed her as "Sam", not Carter or even Major Carter, and had signed it "Jack" and that was a red flag for her.

Okay, so she had come to the conclusion earlier that she could love no one but Jack, but she had only a little idea of what he felt for her.

The past three weeks had not only changed the way she looked at their relationship, but his being there had made her realise how much Jack was a part of her life, and how she would hate it if he was not there. No matter what he felt for her, Sam felt so strongly, that if he wasn't there to share her life in any sense, even if it was just through work, she would feel empty. His attitude towards her had been funny over the past three weeks; a mixture of indifference towards her relationship with Pete, and a certain closeness and warmth that she was not entirely used to, and had made her more confused than ever.

And she still wasn't sure about him and his feelings because of that. In five minutes though it was quite possible that she would find out.

As 1830 drew closer and Sam's stomach tightened with nervousness, she speedily ate her dinner, her head was aching already with all the thinking she had been doing. Second only to the days after the Zaytarc incident and Martouf's death, Sam had never felt so troubled or her mind in such tumult. This came extremely close though. She packed up her things and put them in the trash and took a large swig from the accompanying bottle of water, and waited.

Presently she heard a car pull up, and saw Jack coming into the clearing wearing jeans and a plain polo shirt with one hand casually placed in his pocket and the other carrying a bright orange basketball.

He noticed her and gave her an awkward smile before sitting opposite her at the picnic table letting the basketball fall to his side.

'Hey, Carter', Jack said carefully, sticking with their old formalities to make her feel more comfortable.

'Hi, Sir.'

'How's Pete?' He asked casually, and then regretted it, seeing her baulk.

'He's… gone.' She said with a heavy sigh.

'And you're okay with that? I mean, I know you cared about him.'

'It was for the best. I assume General Hammond told you that he did a background check on me.' She looked up to see him nod. 'You were right about the trust thing, Sir. I told him I couldn't tell him and asked him to trust me. I guess it didn't really hold up on his side though.'

'Yeah, but you can't blame yourself for that, Sam. It was his choice, not yours, and because he interfered, he had to stick with the consequences. I'm just glad for him, that he can't remember having a snake in his gut. Wish I could forget that. Though if it means forgetting you too… that might not be so good.'

Sam looked at him carefully and thoroughly. He wasn't that old, but he had a few small battle scars that lined his face, that she had come to recognize and love over the years she had known Jack O'Neill. They were a part of Jack O'Neill now. There was the small scar over his left eyebrow that he had obtained when he was "touched." It seemed that it had always been there since she had known him, and she thought of it now as a distinguishable feature. Sometimes it also reminded her of their first, feisty and slightly non-consensual kiss that they had shared.

She visually traced his eyebrow with her eyes, just stopping herself from physically reaching out and doing it with her fingertips.

Then there was that small chicken-pox look a like scar that was actually the result of using a memory recall device far too many times. It had also been used to recall some very specific and intense memories for the both of them; memories which had been recalled in recent days without the use of the device. She shivered at the thought of that ordeal they had gone through that day, and the feelings he had expressed. "I didn't leave because I care about her…a lot more than I'm supposed too." She was still looking at him, now looking into his eyes, trying to see a glimpse of what he felt.

He was staring back at her, unsure of what to make of her observations, but relishing in their open looks; something they had been too guarded for before.

'Sam.' At the use of her first name she lost all semblance of reason, leant over the table and placed a sweet and tentative kiss on his cheek.

Pulling back, she looked at him earnestly; he had an incredibly dazed look on his face that looked like "sweet" in that way of his.

'Jack?' That seemed to bring both of them back, and with a serious look on his face, he took a hold of her hand.

'Samantha, there's something I should tell you. I'm not one for speeches, but here goes…' He paused and took a deep breath. 'I love you. It's amazing and unbelievable how much I love you, but I do. No feeling has ever come close.

'Your experience with Pete has let me know something. I can't stand being apart from you, and I can't stand not being with you like that. I know I would give anything to be with you, even if I have to wait. I thought you have a right to know that Sam and a right to make your decisions knowing that.'

While he had been talking, he had kept his eyes trained on the table, tracing along the ridges with his eyes. Now he dared to look up at her, and found her staring at him with an inscrutable expression on her face.

'Jack… gosh, I can't… I don't know how to respond to that. I… wasn't expecting…' Sam fumbled with her words. She had guessed that something like this was coming but it both surprised and shocked her, not only at the revelation, but also at his eloquence.

'Jack…' she could not call him "Sir", not after that. He looked at her imploringly, and she took a hold of his hand across the table.

'I never thought I would be the one to inspire such a love, but I'm grateful for it.'

Jack gave a small grimace. Grateful was not exactly the type of response that one wanted to hear after such a declaration.

'I've wanted to hear that for so long; I thought it would never end up happening.' Tears filled her eyes, but she tried to rein in her emotions.

'Jack, is this real?'

'Er…sorry?'

'I had a dream like this once, and I was so disappointed when I woke up that I… well… Something in me is saying this can't be real, however much I want it to be.'

Jack gave a small chuckle. She was right. It felt surreal that she was saying she had wanted this for a long time. At least that response was more favourable, and it gave him hope.

'Sam, I know how you feel.'

She looked at him thoughtfully. 'Why now? Why wait so long? Why now when we're worrying about Anubis?' she asked.

'Sam, you know when we did that Zaytarc thing? I knew I cared about you a lot. A lot. But I never realised until recently just how much I love you. How much I would hate it if I ever lost you. When you were lost on the Prometheus I felt so helpless and discouraged. If this thing with Anubis did crack us, I would have never gotten the chance to tell you. I guess your thing with Pete was just the catalyst for all this to come out. There's something else that happened that I can't really explain; but now seemed like a really good idea to tell you.

'So, if it's always been up to me, that's why you haven't made a move?'

'That and I'm not allowed. You seemed so intent on not talking about the whole thing that I thought you just wanted to get past it. And then Pete came along, and I sort of assumed that you were past it.

'But let's face it, Sam. I would get the better end of the deal. You're young, beautiful, smart and amazing. I'm an old sarcastic, grumpy man, and I've already done the whole family thing and I've got baggage. I thought you deserved better. I though Pete was what you wanted.'

'Don't sell yourself short, O'Neill.' Feeling bold, Sam stood up and walked over to his side of the table. She sat down next to him, her back to the table so that she could look more directly at him.

'Jack, you may not think yourself a great person, but you are. I know you're all modest, and don't want to hear this stuff about yourself. But despite your grumpy, sarcastic façade, you're a good man. If there's one thing I've learnt though our years working together, it's that you are a very kind and determined soul, and… and I love you for that.'

Jack clasped her hand tightly, but she looked away. It was hard to get the words you need to say out when someone is staring at you intently.

'These past couple of weeks have been a bit… awkward, I guess you could say. You know, I did enjoy being with Pete; being able to care about someone openly. But these events have taught me something as well.

'I can't-' she tried again. 'I thought that I could be happy with Pete, and I tried to be. But I can't be truly happy with someone who's not you. That's what I found out.'

Jack gently placed a hand on her cheek and she looked at him, her breath catching in her throat, still unable to believe that he was looking at her like that.

'Sam', his fingers caressed her lips and he took a deep breath as he stood up away from the table. 'Let's shoot a few hoops before it gets dark.' Sam looked at him oddly for such a suggestion at such a time, but her reflexes were still on par as she caught the basketball he chucked her way.

They had done this before. Sometimes one-on-one, or with Teal'c and Daniel. Sometimes as part of their physical regime for work, or for recreation.

They knew each other; they anticipated each other's moves and strategies. They played with fervour, passionately defending their hoops and with the same passion, gave their offensive attack.

It was like playing noughts and crosses (tic-tac-toe); a game which can never be won, when two people are so equally matched.

They played as if it were a life and death situation, letting out all the pent up stresses and worries that had been building during the past three weeks.

But they weren't playing with aggression towards each other, but the ball.

The barrier between them. Anything that seemed to be impeding their opportunity to be together.

Finally, Jack let Sam get through and she scored triumphantly, letting the ball go through the hoop, and bounce carelessly away.

She didn't crow victoriously or jokingly rub it in his face like she usually did. She stood their looking at him with a fierce intensity as she caught her breath.

'Jack', she breathed out. She moved closer towards him.

She was the one to make the first move. It was a split second, and suddenly her mouth was on his, and she was kissing him. Sam showed as much passion as she did in basketball, and she kissed him, still breathless from their game, desperately and earnestly, letting him know how much she needed and loved him. She instinctively reached for his hair and ran her hands through it like she had ached to for so long. And then just as suddenly as she had started, she slowed the pace down, allowing Jack to return the kiss properly, his lips softly playing on hers before he deepened the kiss again, pouring all of his longing and regret into it. Sam's lips curled into a smile as his arm snaked around her waist and held her all the more tighter.

'Jack…' she murmured in between breaths. He loved hearing her say that, but the necessity of air made him pull back though he kept a tight hold on her waist, as if afraid of letting her go. 'I love you, Jack!'