Hey Guys! Sorry for the crappy updating job again. It's exam week and ugh need I say more? Anyway thank you to my awesome reviewers for taking the time to leave a comment: mariel and sarsi, Shellybelly93, RosesFromDrew, elyse.s2, Golden Perception, Flora73, PurpleChameleon, and rrswimmer2011.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight OR 50 First Dates.

Enjoy!

"If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if not it wasn't meant to be."- Paulo Cuelho

Edward POV

I opened my eyes slowly and shifted in my bed as I woke up. Once I was coherent enough, I glanced around to find my alarm clock so I could see what time it was. But instead of seeing my red digital clock sitting on my dark wooden night-table, I saw a purple alarm clock sitting on a tan wooden night-table. I immediately sat up in confusion and glanced around. I furrowed my eyebrows as I saw that the walls were a light blue color and the window was in the wrong place. In my still-half-asleep state, it took me awhile to figure out that I was not in my room but instead in Bella's room. I ran a hand through my messy hair as I realized that I must have fallen asleep on Bella's bed. I shook my head at my own stupidity and turned back to the clock and saw that it was 5:45 A.M. I relaxed back into Bella's bed, knowing I had fifteen minutes until Bella's alarm clock would wake her up. I knew I should leave quickly as I figured Bella would not appreciate finding a complete stranger in bed with her, but as soon as I laid my eyes on her sleeping form I couldn't find it in me to leave her. Her face was completely peaceful and of course beautiful. She was hugging a pillow to her and she had her legs tangled in the sheets. My fiancé, I thought blissfully. I couldn't remember a time where I have been happier than in that moment. Waking up to my fiancé, my Bella, was an amazing feeling that I hoped I got to experience many more times in the near future. I reached out against my better judgment, but I couldn't help myself. She had a stray hair lying on her face that was just begging to be brushed back. My fingertips found her warm cheek as I tucked the stray hair strand behind Bella's ear.

I saw Bella's eyes twitch in response and I reluctantly moved my hand away. I knew I had to leave before she woke up. But just as I was about to get off the bed, I saw Bella's eyes flutter, causing me to freeze in place. I smiled despite the situation as Bella woke up. She was so adorable. Her eyes opened and she brought her hands to her face to rub her eyes awake. I grinned wider, still not moving even though something in my head was screaming at me that this was my last chance to run. But I ignored it, remembering what Bella told me last night. She promised that she would not forget me so I had nothing to worry about.

Of course, I woke up two minutes ago and still wasn't thinking clearly so I didn't think about how Bella remembering me would defy certain laws of science.

I bit my lip in anticipation as Bella's gentle brown orbs met my own eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she studied me and then her expression grew horrified. I frowned at her reaction and reached out to comfort her, but as soon as Bella saw me advancing towards her she jumped up.

"Ahh!" she screamed.

I covered my ears at the sound. "Shh, Bella. Not so loud," I pleaded as I also stood up because that was the loudest scream I've ever heard. And that's saying something seeing as I spent a whole year with Alice—the queen of squealing.

"Wha-? How do you know my name?" Bella's eyes widened as she took a fearful step back.

I looked at her in confusion before realization dawned on me. This wasn't some fairytale. Bella couldn't magically remember me just because I asked her to last night. This was real life and the reality was that Bella would never be able to remember me no matter how much I pleaded with her or how many times she promises that she will. I winched as Bella took another step away from me towards her closet. How do I get out of this?

"Now, listen Bella, I know you're confus—" I started in a gentle voice before she interrupted me.

"Stop calling me Bella! I don't know you. You…y-you pervert!" she accused, pointing at me.

"What? Pervert? No, Bella. Look down. We both have clothes on. We didn't do anything. God, I would never do that without your permission," I begged her to understand.

Bella glanced down obediently, and I could see the relief in her eyes as she realized I was telling the truth. She was still wearing her red sweatpants with her grey tank top. She looked back at me in confusion and I realized that I was still wearing my dress pants and white-sleeved collared shirt from last night. She opened her mouth and I was sure she was going to ask about it before she snapped her mouth closed when she remembered she was supposed to be angry at me.

"So what? You climbed through my window and watched me sleep?" she spat, disgusted.

I flinched as I have never seen Bella this way. "No! That's just crazy. I would nev—"

"Then what are you doing her? In my room? At six in the morning?" she questioned, still angry. She was no longer scared but instead furious.

"I…well…I, uh, I…" I fumbled for an answer that would make sense and not make me seem like a complete sicko.

"I knew it! Sicko!" I sighed, realizing I was doing a bad job of convincing her I was a good guy.

"No, Bella, can you listen for one second? You may not remember me but I'm your boyfriend," I told her, desperate for her to believe me.

"Liar!" She narrowed her eyes at me before running to her closet. She rummaged through it, and I briefly considered just leaving before she turned back around. But before I could contemplate the best escape route, Bella came back. My eyes widened at the sight of her now holding a lacrosse stick above her. In any other instance I would have found this completely hilarious but now? Not so much. Though, I did find it in me to be proud of Bella. She was standing up for herself and fighting back. Granted, I would rather not have her fighting me, but right now she thought I was some sick stranger. She was doing all she could do to protect herself.

"Bella," I cautioned as I raised my hands up to block my face in case she decided to strike. "Okay, I know this is hard for you to understand but we are together. We've been together for awhile now," I explained slowly. Bella raised the stick higher, obviously not believing me. "Hey now. Let's not do anything rash." This time I was the one who took a step back. "If I wasn't telling the truth how would I know that you work at the bookstore every Sunday? Or that you have a niece named Nikki? Or that you your favorite breakfast item is chocolate-chip pancakes?"

"Stalker!"

Wow. Serious case of déjà vu. This wasn't the first time she has called me a stalker. "No! No, no, no," I reassured. "Don't you remember me? Even just a little?" I desperately asked, bringing my hand up and making the smallest gap possible between my forefinger and thumb.

Thwack! I clutched my forehead in pain as Bella pulled back from her hit. Gah, I take that as a no.

"Oh my God!" Bella dropped the vile lacrosse stick and ran towards me. I saw her reach out a hand towards me but then pull it back at the last second. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to actually hurt you. Are you okay? Oh jeez. I really messed up. I swear I didn't mean to. I just wanted to scare you so you would leave. But now look! You have a huge bump and it's all my fault." I hissed in pain as this time she actually did touch my forehead. Bella winched. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I said through a clenched jaw.

"No—"

"Really, Bella. It's just a little sting," I tried to reassure her because honestly she looked like she was about to cry. I shook my head slightly in amusement about how one minute Bella went from being furious and determined to being apologetic and sad. It just goes to show that my Bella would never intentionally hurt someone.

"Edward!" I heard a door slam from downstairs. I groaned, knowing immediately that it was Alice. "Are you here? You weren't at your house. Did she say yes?" Alice called, her voice getting closer and closer as she walked up the stairs. I rolled my eyes. Alice hated not knowing things and it didn't surprise me that she woke up before six in the morning and searched my house and now Bella's to find out whether or not Bella and I were engaged.

Soon enough Alice came into view. I saw her freeze in shock as she saw us. Me with my hand clenching my forehead, the lacrosse stick on the ground, and Bella's guilt-ridden face.

"Alice, you know this guy?" Bella asked, looking very confused.

And with that, Alice seemed to realize what had happened. "Yes. Um Bella, I'm going to take Edward and bring him downstairs. You, missy, are going to sit on the bed and watch these two tapes," Alice ordered, handing Bella the tapes that were on her desk.

Bella still looked perplexed. "But Alice, I think I should help Edward?" She glanced at me and I nodded, telling her silently that my name was indeed Edward. "I am the one who…ah…hit him after all."

"I'll be fine, Bella. Listen to Alice. The videos will explain everything," I promised her.

"Um okay," she said uncertainly, but did as we asked. Alice grabbed my hand and led me out of the room.

"I'm going to call Carlisle," she informed as soon as we were in the hallway and out of earshot.

"I'm fine, Alice. It doesn't hurt any more. I don't need a doctor," I said.

Alice shook her head in disagreement. "It looks pretty bad, Edward," she answered, her eyes filled with concern and sympathy.

I sighed, knowing she would call him no matter what I said if she was genuinely worried. "Fine. I'm going to grab some ice, though," I responded, heading towards the stairs.

"Wait Edward," Alice called.

"Yeah?" I turned around.

"Did she say yes?" Her blue eyes widened with curiosity.

"Yes," I nodded, smiling hugely despite the pain in my forehead. "Bella's going to be my wife." And then I practically ran down the stairs but I couldn't escape it—I could still hear her excited squeal. But truthfully, I was so happy I was engaged to the greatest women on Earth that I felt like squealing myself.

oOo

"Hey." A soft voice greeted me. I turned my head away from the TV and saw Bella nervously standing against the wall.

"Hey, Bella." I smiled at her, trying to reassure her.

She fidgeted awkwardly as she walked slowly towards me. "I uh watched the videos." She came to a still when she stood right in front of me.

"Good. So now you know I'm not a pervert, sicko, liar, or stalker," I teased lightly.

She winched. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those mean things." She looked down guiltily.

"Hey," I took her hand and nudged her so that she looked up. Her brown eyes shone with shame. "I'm the one that should be sorry. I was only teasing. I didn't mean to make you upset." I tugged her so that she fell onto my lap. Bella blushed as I wrapped my arms around her, but didn't move away. She just readjusted herself so that she was sitting sideways on me.

She leaned her head on my shoulder and looked imploringly at me. She bit her lip when she glanced up at the nasty bump I was sporting. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"I wish you'd stop apologizing." I smiled at her because I truly did know how sorry she was. "I forgive you, though there is nothing to forgive. You did what any normal person would have done in that situation."

Bella scoffed. "Normal? Please? I'm anything but normal. I'm a freak. Who hits there boyfriend for no reason?" She shook her head in disgust and wouldn't even look me in the eye.

I sighed and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. "Bella, you didn't know I was your fian—I mean, boyfriend," I told her, refraining from telling her that we were engaged. Note to self: Must add the fact that she is getting married into the video. "You honestly thought I was some stranger."

"Exactly!" Her eyes widened, trying to make me see her point. "If I was normal I would know who my own freaking boyfriend is!"

"But you don't, Bella," I spoke firmly, wanting her to understand and to stop insulting herself. "Every day when you wake up you don't know who your boyfriend is. Hell, you don't even know that you have a boyfriend. Nothing is going to change that. I know that and it is wholeheartedly my fault for falling asleep in your bed. I should know better than that."

Bella looked at me in disbelief. "What? Edward, no. It's not your fault." She shook her head.

"And it's not your fault." I tapped her nose gently. "Neither of us wanted this to happen, okay? So can we agree that it was no one's fault?"

Bella bit her lip. "But someone has to be at fault. And obviously, it's my fault. I'm the one who—"

I placed my pointer finger and Bella's plump lips, successfully quieting her. "Bella, I'm not going to sit here and argue about whose fault it was. Someone has to be at fault? Fine. It was that lacrosse stick's fault." I smiled as Bella laughed.

"Okay." I grinned at her agreement. She laid her head back on my shoulder and looked up at me adoringly. "That damn stick. How could it ever hit someone as wonderful as you?" Bella asked as her fingers gently traced images on my cheek.

I smiled at her, wondering how I got so lucky. Bella grinned back. After a few more comfortable moments, Bella pulled her hand away. I frowned as she turned away from me before realizing she was just grabbing the long forgotten ice pack from the coffee table. She smiled as she readjusted herself so that her knees were straddling me in order to hold the ice pack against the bump easily. I don't know if I shuddered from the sudden coldness or from Bella's proximity. If I had to guess I would say it was a little of both but mostly Bella. I smiled at Bella's soft face and I pulled her closer so that our noses were almost touching.

"Breathe, Bella." I chuckled warmly, when I saw that she wasn't inhaling anything.

Bella smiled sheepishly and her sweet breath fanned my face, successfully clouding my senses.

I was just about to say something along the lines of 'you're so beautiful' but before I could, for the second time today, the door opened and slammed.

"Edward?" This time it was Carlisle's voice. "Alice called. Sorry I couldn't get here sooner. I had this patient who—" Carlisle entered the living room.

Bella immediately blushed and jumped away from me. Both Carlisle and I laughed at Bella's sudden interest in the carpet; her cheeks still a bright red.

"Hey, Carlisle," Bella mumbled.

Carlisle smiled, his blue eyes twinkling playfully. "Hello, Bella," he greeted warmly. "I see that you really showed Edward, huh?" He gestured towards my face.

Bella blushed harder but before she could go off feeling guilty again, I responded. "She didn't show me up; the damn lacrosse stick did." Bella glanced at me and we both burst out laughing at the same time.

Carlisle looked confused but neither Bella nor I were in the position to explain it to him. Once we calmed down, Bella immediately offered to get me more ice. Carlisle switched to doctor's mood as soon as she left and began to examine me.

Bella Pov

I whistled happily as I grabbed a Ziploc bag and started shoveling ice into it. I grinned as I zipped it up and made my way to return to my boyfriend. But just as I was about to enter the room, I heard them talking.

"How does it look, doc? My temporal lobe doing okay?" I heard Edward joke.

I peeked in and saw Carlisle lean in and regard his bump seriously. "Don't worry; I don't think you're going to suffer any short term memory loss." He smiled.

I frowned. I knew they were just joking but I couldn't help but to feel like they were making fun of me. I stood where I was, not making any noise and continued to listen to their conversation.

"So where did Alice run off to?" Carlisle asked as he continued pressing his fingers against the bump.

"She had to take care of Tyler. Actually, I have to leave soon for Tyler's piano lesson," Edward answered while wincing at Carlisle's probing fingers.

"Ah. You know Alice told me about your plan to travel to Europe pretty soon."

"Yeah." Edward nodded. "I always wanted to travel and a 3-month trip to Europe to get some inspiration and just relax sounded great a year ago." I frowned. I never heard about this vacation.

"Oh?" Carlisle asked. "And it doesn't sound so good now?"

"Of course not. I'm not going. I don't want to leave Bella for three months," he answered like it was obvious.

"I understand that. I never want to leave Esme for any amount of time, but you've planned this trip for weeks. You should go. Bella will still be here when you get back," Carlisle responded as he pulled away from Edward and sat next to him on the couch.

"No," Edward shook his head in disagreement, causing his bronze hair to flop with his movements. "Bella needs me here. I'm worried that if I leave now, I'll ruin all the progress she's made. I know you think I'm crazy but deep down I think she's starting to remember who I am." Edward's answer broke my heart. He's not really that naïve, is he?

"No, Edward," Carlisle said seriously. "That bump on your head is proof of how she hasn't gotten any better. She'll never remember who you are." Tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks as Carlisle talked. Even though I knew that my condition was irreversible, I couldn't help but be sadden by the blunt confirmation of it. "That's what you want to believe. That's what everyone wants to believe. But it's never going to happen." I choked back a sob.

Edward sighed, and I could hear so much sadness in that one sound. "So am I okay?" he changed the subject.

"Yup. Just ice it and the swelling should go down soon," Carlisle answered.

Edward nodded. "That's what I thought. I told Alice that she was worried for no reason but she didn't listen to me."

Carlisle smiled. "We were all worried, Edward. We care about you. You're officially part of the family now."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that." Edward grinned joyfully. "I wonder where Bella is?" he wondered out loud as an afterthought.

My eyes widened as I jumped behind the wall.

"I don't know. Probably in the bathroom or something."

"Hmm. Okay, well I got to go teach Tyler some songs. Can you tell her I'll be back soon?" Edward asked.

"Can do." I heard them pat each other on the back and then I heard the door open and close as Edward left.

"Poor kid, he could go to the moon and back and Bella would never know he left," I heard Carlisle mumble to himself. I sniffled, realizing he was telling the truth. Edward was ruining his life for me. And I was going to fix it, even if it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.

Edward POV

"Good job, Tyler." I said excitedly as he played a successful verse of the Funeral March on the piano.

He grinned proudly, showing all of his teeth. "Thanks, Uncle Eddie."

"Of course. Now I want you to that same verse again but this time try to go a little bit slower and really concentrate on hitting each note perfectly. You did well, but I know you can do better," I instructed, feeling proud. Not many six year olds can play a verse of one of Chopin's classical melodies.

Tyler nodded seriously before turning back to the piano and his bottom lip stuck out lip adorably in concentration. He was mid-way through when the door-bell rang.

"I'll get it, keep on practicing," I ordered as I got up and walked towards the door, wondering who it could be.

I opened the door and was pleasantly surprised when I was greeted with Bella's beautiful face. "Hey, Bella." I grinned as I opened the door wider to let her in.

She entered but didn't look at me. Her gaze stayed trained on the floor. It was then that I noticed she was carrying something.

"What's that?" I asked her curiously.

Bella jumped, startled, as if she had forgotten I was there. "Oh uh it's my journal slash scrapbook," she answered as she flipped though the huge purple book so that I could see. It was filled with doodles, pictures, and diary entries. "I write in it every night."

I frowned. "You don't like the video?" I asked curiously, trying not to take it personally.

Bella's gaze finally hit mine and I was dumbfounded by the sadness I saw swimming in her brown orbs. "No," she disagreed softly. "I love it, I do. It's just sometimes when I see it, I feel like I'm told about my life from someone else. But when I read this, I feel like I'm telling myself."

"When did you start it?" I questioned.

"Um after the date at the bonfire. Remember? I sent an e-mail to Nessie describing one of our dates and she said she'll send it back to me. Well, she did and I read how I described our date and I really like knowing how we spent our days together. So I started recording each of our dates in here. The pictures, too. Then when we had that date where we went to your house to watch Harry Potter, we talked about how I spilled coffee on the couch, I realized that I wanted to remember everything, not just the dates. So I write in the journal everyday at the bookstore and I try to at night, but sometimes I fall asleep. Like yesterday. I have nothing in here about our 50th date," Bella explained in a quiet voice.

"That's great, Bella. I mean, it's not great that you didn't write an entry for our 50th but it's great that you can write about other days and read about them later." She nodded slightly in acknowledgment, but didn't smile. "So uh whatcha doing here?" I questioned a little nervously.

"I uh I…can we go sit down or something?" she asked but didn't wait for an answer before she started walking towards the living room. I followed her, feeling like something was not right, but before I entered the living room, I went into the piano room and told Tyler to keep practicing and that I'd join him in a little bit.

Once I left him to his own devices, I found Bella sitting on my couch while she stared blankly at the wall. I hesitantly sat next to her and took her hand. She was really worrying me now. "Bella? Why are you here?" I asked again.

She turned to face me but I had to look away when I saw the devastation in her face. I don't know how, but somehow I knew what she was going to say. And I also knew that what she was going to say was going to break my heart. "I came to break up with you, Edward," she said, and that sentence, that one sentence, did more damage than a hundred lacrosse sticks could do to me. "Edward? Look at me, please." But I couldn't, I didn't want to. I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

I heard Bella sigh sadly at my noncompliance. I focused on the wall as she continued to speak. Each word piercing my heart. "Edward, you had plans and a life before you met me and now all you have time for is to make me fall in love with you every single day."

I turned to face her, knowing I couldn't just let her go. I had to fight. "That's not true, Bella. I taught a six year old to play Chopin today." Just then, we could both hear Tyler as he hit a note off-key. I sighed in frustration. "Which I'm going to have to do again tomorrow."

"Edward," Bella eyes pleaded for me to understand. But I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself. My world was falling apart and she was the one causing it. "I've seen what I've done to Emmett's and Charlie's lives. Before they do anything they think of me first. They work so hard to make me happy. Everyone does. And I don't deserve it. I see in everyone's eyes sadness and hurt when I don't remember something. They try to hide it but I see the hurt and just trouble I'm causing them. I can't let myself be a burden to you like I am to them. I just can't."

I wanted to cry. But dammit if I was going to let her see my tears. How could she? She had to know she was destroying me with every word she said. "Bella," I looked away from her and held in my tears. "Don't you get it? You could never be a burden to me. You're not ruining my life because you are my life. I had no life before you Bella. Not like the life I have or…had with you. Please don't do this," I begged and I felt pathetic for doing it.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

Anger surged through me at her words. She wasn't sorry. If she was sorry she wouldn't be doing this right now. "What do you want me to do, Bella? Huh? Be some stupid chapter in your stupid scrapbook and be on my merry way?"

"No, Edward." Bella tucked her brown locks behind her ear and took a deep breath. "My plan is to erase you completely from my memory so that it's like you never existed."

Shut up. I wished she would just shut up. This wasn't Bella. Bella wouldn't do this. Bella loves me. She loves me, right? Why did she want to erase me? Am I nothing to her? She's everything to me. Everything. Why didn't she see that?

"Why are you doing this, Bella?" I asked desperately, standing up and walking away from her. I neared the wall and kicked it out of frustration. I saw Bella winch at the sound from the corner of my eye. But she doesn't care. She lost the right to care about me when she started breaking my heart. And now she was just standing here to watch me fall apart. She just wants to grab the already broken pieces and just stomp on them. "Why are you doing this to me?" I turned to her, my anger clearly showing.

She took a step towards me but I took a step back, disgusted with her.

I saw her flinch again from the tone of my voice. Good. She should hurt just like I'm hurting. I watched in continued anger as she opened her mouth and closed it as she tried to find the words to explain her twisted up plan. "Because," she finally said, stepping towards me again. "You have to understand that there is no future with me. Edward," She reached out a hand to touch me, but I moved away from her. I didn't want her sympathy or pity. "Don't you want marriage and kids?"

"Yeah, I asked you to marry me last night and you said yes. Kids? Yeah I'll love to have some," I answered, watching as Bella glance down at her engagement ring in shock.

"B-But Edward, how is that going to work?" she asked urgently once she had recovered from her shock. "I'm going to wake up every day with a huge enormous pregnant belly and no memory of how it got there?"

I scoffed. "Fine, Bella," I sneered her name. "Give up. I never knew you were a quitter."

"I'm not. This is for the best, Edward. One day you're going to realize that what I'm doing makes sense."

I shook my head at her. "If you really think that, then you're not as smart as I thought you were. How in the world does you breaking up with me make sense? You're just giving up on our relationship. Dammit, Bella, I will never understand why you decided to break my heart."

Bella flinched again from the tone of my voice. "Edward…"

"I love you, Bella." My voice cracked as a tear slipped through.

"I know you do, Edward. But you will get over me soon enough. You'll meet some normal girl who will be able to remember you every day. Who can love and cherish you like you deserve." Bella sounded certain.

I laughed sardonically and Bella jumped at the harshness of it. "You're not that dense, are you? I don't want anyone but you, Bella."

"You think that now, but—"

"No! Dammit, Bella, just accept the fact that I love you and always will." I stared at her, willing her to change her mind. "And you love me, too," I added softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

But she heard me. "No, Edward, that's where you're wrong. I don't love you. I never will love you. And I have never loved you." Her voice robotic and unrelenting.

"No." I refused to believe it. We were in love. We are in love. She just seems to have forgotten that.

"Yes, Edward. I can't love you. I don't know you! You have no future with me," she repeated.

I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them I would realize that this was just a dream. That I'd be back in Bella's bed, with her sleeping form lying next to me. I slowly opened my eyes, ready to see my loving Bella, not this monster, but instead I set eyes on Bella's cold gaze. I said earlier today that Bella would never intentionally hurt anyone but I was wrong. She was hurting me; she was hurting me so much. I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to. If she was not going to be in my life, then what was the goddamn point? She was my life and without her, should I even go on?

"You know what? Fine. Break up with me. Break my heart. Whatever. I'll just see you tomorrow, when you forget that this ever happened," I told her, breathing a sigh of relief. Yes, she would forget about this Break-Edward's-Heart-Until-The-Point-In-Which-He-Contemplates-Suicide Plan.

Bella shook her head, her brown hair swaying with her movement. "I'm not going to forget. I won't let myself. I'll write it down somewhere. I'm going to do this whether you want me to or not."

And that was the moment I realized she would. She was doing this no matter what I said. So I gave up. If she's given up on us, why couldn't I? It's over. It's over.

It's over.

My god, it's over.

Bella Pov

I could see that I could never make Edward understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. But you can see that I did the right thing, can't you? You can see that this is for the best. Yes, you are a sensible, logical human being. You see that this can't work out. It's obvious. I just wish I could have seen it sooner. That way I could have saved us both a lot of heartache.

I had to. Tell me you see that. He has a life to live. A life without me. I'm a burden, I see that now. He has to go to Europe, get some inspiration, compose beautiful music, make millions, fall in love, get married, have kids, die happy. He can't do those things with me. I can't love him like he deserves to be loved. I can't keep on standing in his way. I have to let him go, no matter how much it pains me.

And it does. I love him. I know I told him I didn't, but I had to. It kills me to see him. Look at him. He looks defeated. His shoulders are hunched over, his fists clenched, his face pale and sullen. And his eyes. Oh his beautiful eyes. They don't twinkle. They don't glow beautifully anymore. It looks like they've had the life sucked out of them. I see tears run down his face. I see his lips quiver with pain. I see his heart shattering. But I stand strong. I have to. One day, he'll thank me. He'll realize that I did the right thing. I'm doing this for him. I'm doing the right thing, can't you see? I love him. I do. That's why I'm doing this. I need him to be happy and he can't be happy with me. He has to be happy with someone else. Someone worthy of his affection.

"So I guess that's it." Edward weak voice finally broke the tense silence. I look to see more tears run down his face and I start to cry myself. I can see he's given up. There's nothing more to say. We've got to go our own way now.

"Yes," I agree hoarsely.

Edward glares at me. I can see his anger. I can see his disgust. But even after everything, I can still see the love he has for me pouring out in waves. There's a pause. Where he says nothing and I say nothing. I know, and he knows I know, that I could say gotcha! I could tell him that I have changed my mind and he would take me back without hesitating. But I do not say anything, and the last bit of hope he has disappears as his whole face twists up in pure agony. I look away cowardly, not wanting to see the damage I've done. I did the right thing, don't you see?

I hear Edward as he turns around and walks away from me. My eyes clench in pain as I cry out. "Edward!" I beg him to turn around. I love him. I need him.

He swivels on his feet and I gasp at what I see. His whole face is lifeless, blank, uncaring, and I immediately want my sunny Edward back. The one who makes me laugh when I feel guilty, the one who whispers sweet nothings to me, the one who calls me beautiful, the one that laughs and plays and loves me. But I can see that I have single-handedly destroyed that Edward. We stare at each other, both of us crying, both of us saying nothing.

"Edward," I breathe but his expression stays stolid. And maybe I am selfish or masochist but I needed one more thing from him. "Edward…can I have one last first kiss?" I ask desperately. Edward's blank stare blinks at me before he nods yes. I hold my breath in anticipation as he stalks towards me. When he reaches me, he pulls me roughly towards him and slams his lips to mine. This isn't some slow, romantic, sweet kiss. It's a desperate kiss. It's a teeth-clanking, sloppy, bruising-lips kind of kiss. It's a kiss filled with broken promises and unspoken words. It's a kiss full with goodbye, what more can I say?

Edward's arms wrap around my waist and my arms snake around his neck and forcefully tug his hair. Edward's grip on my hip tightens and he presses his lips against mine even harder. It's like he wants to hurt me. Like he wants me to feel pain.

But just as soon as I think that, things change. His kiss turns savoring and his lips caresses mine. He rubs circles on my hips with his thumb and his tongue gently explores mine. I, in turn, stroke the ends of his hair lying on the nape of his neck. I think we both realized at the same time that this was truly our last kiss and that we wanted to savor and adore the other for the last time. Our tears mix together as we silently tell the other we love them. It's a kiss full with goodbye, what more can I say?

I pull away eventually and Edward stands there with his eyes close. A sob escapes me as I see tears run down his face. I take off my engagement ring, grab the scrapbook, and shove them into Edward's arms. Edward's eyes open in surprise and I see the lifelessness in them.

"Keep them," I managed to order between my sobs. Edward stares blankly at me, like he doesn't know who I am anymore. I run out of the living room and to the front door. The daunting tone of the Funeral March from Tyler's piano follows me as I leave and I hear one more "Bella!" from Edward before I'm outside. I climb into my truck and throw it into drive. I back out of the highway, tears still in my eye, as I see Edward standing outside his open door in the rain as he watches me leave. I drive until he is out of my view. I pull over, knowing that I couldn't drive in my condition.

I did the right thing, can't you see?

There you go. I know, sad chapter, but hey its not like it can get any worse… Oh and I need some help. This chapter was one of my easiest chapters to write—I finished it in one day. I think that's because I've been picturing this chapter since day one so I'm really excited to finally finish it.. Oh and I have the next chapter planned, so don't worry me doing a terrible updating again. Review if you want a sneak preview! Lastly, like I said, its exam week so in 4 days I'm officially out of school and done with freshman year! Yay. So I'll have more time to write. And I really want to get to 200 reviews (just ten more) so if I get 10 reviews I'll update next Thursday, if I get 8 or 9 I'll update next next Monday, 7-5 Tuesday, under 4 and I'll update next next Wednesday. So please vote and review.

Hope You Had A Great Memorial Day Weekend!

Thanks For Reading.

Until Next Time,
Valerie