Turning off the lights, I lay down my bed with my fingers tracing my lips. I couldn't help crying, my mind flashing with memories of the way Dan kissed and touched me. The image of him breaking down pained me even further.
My head started to spin, my breathing uneven. I clung to my chest as if that could soothe the stabbing pain I physically feel.
I woke up around 7PM with a massive headache. Grabbing my phone, I turned it on and saw a lot of notifications.
And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT.
All of them from Phil. Some of them went like:
Can we talk?
Hey (OC/n)! Text or call me please.
Hope you're doing okay.
I'm sorry.
Out of all his messages, the last one made me wonder. What was Phil apologising for?
I messaged him and asked him if we can talk via Skype. Minutes later, I saw him go online.
"Hey Phil... I just..."
"(OC/n), is it okay if I go first?" he asked, his face all serious. I nodded.
"Dan told me everything as soon as he came home. Things look way worst than when you broke up with him back in 2009. Seeing him face-to-face like that... It was hard.
And when he told me your reasons, I just... I'm so sorry. I mean, I kinda suspected before that it was because of me. That's why I tried so hard to get you two to talk when I saw you during the tour but when I saw your reaction, I realised that I was wrong. You didn't break up with Dan because you hated me...but because you cared... A lot." Phil gave me a small smile and I realised his eyes were teary.
"Phil... I..." I wanted to explain, to just say something, but nothing came out.
"Are you a fan of Sherlock?" I heard him ask, making me raise my eyebrows.
"I... I love it. Why?" I replied, my voice hoarse, still confused.
"That explains a lot." he chuckled. "But just think... If you think that my friendship with Dan is similar to Sherlock and John, then you're Mary... Not because I think you'll shoot me or anything but because ever since the beginning, you accepted it wholeheartedly.
And sure it's scary. I understand why you're worried and why Dan's worried, but with everything that I've seen from both of you, I know we'll work it all out.
There will be times that you and Dan would need your time together. There will be instances when we have to be away on tour or conventions for days or weeks. But after I got to know you, after realising that you've been hurting all these years because you were thinking what's best for my friendship with Dan... Don't be afraid to take the risk.
We both care about Dan and I know we won't do anything that'll hurt him. We won't make him choose, (OC/n). I'm sure of it."
Phil's resolve could be felt even through the screen. I saw the determination, the assurance, the trust.
And I started crying. Again. Where the hell did all these water from my body coming from? Jeez. Shouldn't I be dehydrated or something?
"You two should stop crying. You're making me cry!" Phil protested, wiping his eyes as he gave a small smile.
"Phil, I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry." The words spilled out of my mouth over and over.
"No! Don't... The only thing you have to apologise for is doing all that crying!" Phil replied.
"I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I overthink! Ugh!" I whined, blowing my nose to a handful of tissues.
Phil chuckled. "That sounds like what Dan said earlier."
"See? We're too cynical to be together!" I exclaimed.
"That's why you guys need me in your life! See? We're already a package!" Phil mused, grinning.
"You're such a nerd." I told him, smiling despite the unending tears.
"I'll talk to Dan, okay?" Phil said.
"I... I still have to think things through." My mind was racing with all the possible outcomes, both good and bad.
"Okay. I hope you consider the things I've said too." Phil replied, his eyes bearing a silent prayer.
I simply nodded, my thoughts darting back and forth to light and dark places.