Well, it has been a busy week for your favoritest author. But I'm really enjoying my job, even though I've been putting in 10 hours a day instead of 8 like I used to. I barely notice until I look at the clock and go "Oh shit, it's three o'clock. I should probably eat lunch at some point."

Anyway, my water heater fun is completely over now. I've got the carpet fixed and the living room put back in order… Mostly.

Anyway.. Thanks to Evalyne, USAF713, you can't see me, and Sasuke's Kanojo for the reviews.

I'm going to put the rest of my comments on this chapter and the previous chapter at the bottom, I don't want to spoil it for you :) (Now if only there were a way to count how many of you just hit the End button :P )

Enjoy!

.oO***Oo.

The tension was thick in the air of the camp. When Alistair had returned Leliana had beamed at him. Her face fell when she and the rest of the group realized Kallia wasn't with him. He could now feel all of their eyes on him as he sat staring into the fire— watching his every movement, every twitch of his face, as though hoping for answers to questions none of them dared to ask.

What happened between you two? Where is she? What did you do to her? Did you kill her?

He should have belayed their fears without them having to ask. He should have simply told them Kallia was taking her bath and would be joining them shortly. Of course he also should have attacked her back when she'd attacked him, so maybe it was a good thing he didn't do everything he should have.

He was too caught up in his own thoughts to care about theirs at the moment. The dagger hidden in his boot felt like it weighed a ton but he daren't take it out. He didn't want to think of the implications of taking the dagger (with much protest, of course) when she offered it. He didn't want to think about what it meant that she had asked him to keep it…

It really is your job.

Why? Why was it his job? He wasn't a Templar! Hadn't he made that clear? Hadn't he done everything he could to prove that to her? Why was it his job? Why not Wynne? Or Morrigan? She certainly would brook no protest to the duty.

Ok… Maybe not Morrigan, she'd probably be all too pleased to kill them all in their sleep if given half a chance.

"I…" Leliana made a hesitant movement, holding her bathing bucket to her chest. "I'm going to take my bath…" Alistair knew what she was really saying.

I'm going to go check on our fearless leader.

He didn't blame her for wanting to check. He had no doubt Morrigan or Wynne had informed the rest of the group of the magic that was being used. Leliana disappeared into the trees, oddly hesitating as she passed Mangy, as though half-expecting him to stop her.

.oO***Oo.

Leliana purposefully stepped on several twigs as she approached where the young elf was sitting. She sat next to the mage and waited for her to speak first, though she didn't have long to wait.

"I do not understand life outside the Tower," Kallia told her.

Leliana giggled, "Well, few of us are able to understand what life inside the Tower must have been like, so I suppose that's fair. What don't you understand in particular?"

"He cares about me," the young elf answered as she stared at something in her hands.

"Is that unusual?"

"Yes."

"You care about Jowan," Leliana commented, recalling their conversation in Lothering.

"Cared," Kallia corrected. "And that's different."

"How?"

"I would kill Jowan in an instant if the situation called for it. And he would me." Kallia said resignedly, as though it were simply a fact of life. Leliana choose not to voice her doubts that either mage would kill the other. "Alistair..."

"You don't think he would?"

"He should have attacked back."

"Should have and needed to are often very different things, Kali. Answer me this, do you want him to be willing to?"

Kallia hung her head and was quiet for a moment before bringing her head up and watching the water ripple in front of her. "Part of being a mage is knowing that there's a chance your best friend could be the one to take your last breath from you. We know this. We accept it. Or we end up Tranquil or dead."

"That seems like a rather bleak outlook on life," Leliana huffed.

"Perhaps, but it's an accurate one."

"I don't think so," Leliana told her, her eyes lit in amusement as Kallia turned to look at her with confusion all over her face. "Kali, You have entered the Fade and defeated demons where they're at their most powerful.. You have fought your way through an entire Tower of abominations and blood mages and demons. You and Alistair survived Ostagar when every other Grey Warden in the country didn't-"

"That one was through no skill of our own." Kallia interrupted but Leliana ignored her.

"I'm sure whatever demon tries to take over your body will be in for a sorry surprise," Leliana smirked and Kallia couldn't fight the smile. "Now, I saw Mangy grab your bathing bucket for you. Why don't you heat the bathwater and then you can tell me why you're looking at that rose like it holds the answers to all of the world's mysteries."

.oO***Oo.

Magic Knight was sulking.

Mangy disliked the human but his elf did not enjoy it when he was upset. The bard had followed his elf to make sure she was alright and he could hear the splashing of water and the bard's giggling so he could tell his elf was emotionally fine.

She would not be if the human was still sulking when she got back.

He stood and walked right into Magic Knight's field of vision, sitting and staring him in the eye. The human continued to stare right though him so Mangy let off a short, commanding bark and the Templar's eyes immediately focused on the dog as surprise registered on his face.

"Mangy...?" The human asked. The dog informed the Templar (in the form of two barks and some huffying) that he had better cheer up before his elf comes back or he would be stealing the human's dinner.

Magic Knight sighed, "Even if I did believe Kallia that she could understand you, you do realize no one else can, right?" He suddenly chuckled, "Now I'm talking to you like you can actually understand me. What is that woman doing to me?"

The human put his head in his hands but he was still chuckling. Mangy let off a huff and nodded his head once. Now the human was in a better mood.

.oO***Oo.

Morrigan studied the trees where the bard had disappeared considering following after her... to bathe of course. It had nothing to do with the odd knot in her stomach. That was just gas. She wouldn't be eating those berries again.

And the fact that the knot had started when Alistair had returned without Kallia was pure coincidence.

Her eyes flickered to the Templar and watched his exchange with the dog. Unlike Alistair, Morrigan did not doubt the dog's intelligence. She might not like the creature but she had seen enough to accept that he was at least smarter than other dogs she had met.

Morrigan narrowed her eyes at the man now chuckling at his own stupidity. She had thought she understood him. She'd had him pegged a Templar despite all his claims otherwise but when Kallia had attacked him with her magic... He had not attacked back.

A Templar would have.

Morrigan pursed her lips and glared at him, though he wasn't facing her to see it. If he wasn't a Templar, what did that make him?

.oO***Oo.

Leliana giggled in joy. Alistair had given Kallia a rose! Granted, explaining romance to Kallia was like explaining... anything... to a brick wall.

Kallia frowned in confusion and asked, "So he wants to sleep with me?" She huffed and crossed her arms. "I offered and he said no, clearly you don't know what you're talking about." Leliana's smiled widened.

"So you want to sleep with him?" she probed, but Kallia's response was not what she expected.

The mage simply shrugged. "Who wouldn't? Have you seen him chop firewood?"

"I don't exactly watch him while he's doing it, no." A blind woman would want to watch that man chop firewood, she'd even caught Morrigan catching a glimpse from the corner of her eye a couple of times. But Leliana decided the Maker would forgive her for the small lie, it was for a good cause after all.

"He is quite... handsome," Kallia told her, her tone implying he was much more than handsome while chopping firewood.

"Have you told him that?" Leliana asked.

Kallia's face contorted in confusion again. "Why would I tell him? I'm sure he already knows."

"You forget he grew up in a Chantry, Kali. They aren't very big on compliments in general there, let alone compliments on looks. I doubt he's been told he's good at anything for a very long time," the bard commented nonchalantly, watching the elf closely as she pretended to be soaping her arms.

Kallia, on the other hand, paused in her cleaning. Leliana was probably right, she realized. After coming to the conclusion that she would point out how good looking she thought he was to him, she resumed her cleaning. Ignoring the giggle the redhead next to her let off as though she knew exactly what had happened.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia returned with Leliana a short time later. She had shortened the Senior Enchanter's robes Irving had given her as she had with her old robes. However, she had also cut a slit up the side of the over skirt of these robes, allowing for easy access to the dagger that was now sheathed in reddish-brown fabric tied to her thigh. The undamaged neckline hid the long scar the Templar had given her. Embri's Many Pouches was doubled loosely around her hips and her long hair had once again been done in tightly plaited buns at the nape of her neck.

She was the very image of a fearless leader and she radiated a confidence that had been lacking since the events of Redcliffe.

Kallia had pulled herself together and she now stepped seamlessly back into her role. As she did so, normal camp functions resumed. The somber atmosphere became more jovial as Leliana pulled out her lute and began tuning it. Alistair set about making dinner though Kallia stayed close to him sorting through the books she had taken from the Tower and subtlety adding herbs and spices when he wasn't looking. Leliana sent her a grateful look as she swiped the deathroot leaves Alistair had placed with his ingredients and replaced them with bay leaves. Wynne chuckled quietly when Kallia grabbed his wrist as he attempted to add cheese to the stew.

"Remind me again why we let you cook," Kallia commented as she took the cheese from him and added mushrooms instead.

"Because I make traditional Ferelden dishes," he answered happily.

"I may not have spent much time out of the Tower, but even I know cheese doesn't go in traditional Ferelden stew."

"But I like cheese!" he whined and Kallia placed the cheese back in his hand.

"Then eat it but don't spoil everyone's dinner because you think it goes good in everything," Kallia glanced around his ingredients and utensils. Not seeing what she was looking for she handed him the large wooden spoon. "Stir only. Don't add anything," she ordered then went to her own pack. After digging around it for several moments she turned to Leliana and asked, "Is there any more cabbage?"

The bard shook her head, "We used the last of it for dinner last night."

"I have some," Wynne offered and pulled a head from her own pack. "I took as much as I could when we passed through the Tower's kitchens." Kallia nodded her thanks and chopped the cabbage into half-inch strips then dumped it into the pot with the rest of the food.

Kallia was surprised when Morrigan drifted over from her own fire to join the rest of the group. The witch eyed the pile of books near the fire subtly, she thought she saw Morrigan's eyes light up at the sight of a strange black one. Kallia made sure to note which one. She'd take another look then give it to the witch.

"Morrigan? Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?" Kallia asked.

Morrigan's face distorted with disgust. "And attempt to eat that vile concoction the idiot calls stew? I think not," she scoffed as she turned on her heel and returned to her own fire. Kallia just sighed and shook her head. It was best to leave her alone and do as she pleased.

"Where's Zevran? The stew is almost done," Kallia asked as she poked a potato with a fork to check its doneness.

"It was his turn to do the washing," Leliana explained as she came over to the fire and got out the bowls.

"Mangy, would you let him know its dinner time?" Kallia asked as she started spooning out their dinners. He barked and ran off in the direction of the stream.

He found the elf bent over and barked excitedly to inform him of the availability of food. Zevran watched as Mangy began to dart back to camp.

"Why so eager, my furry friend? You are aware it is Alistair's turn to cook tonight, yes?" Mangy barked, explaining his elf had taken over the cooking and he liked it when his elf cooked, but Zevran couldn't understand him. "Surely you do not think so highly of Alistair's cooking, no?" Mangy gagged several times and Zevran laughed. "Yes, I do believe that is the general consensus," he told the dog as he hung up their wet clothes and headed back to camp to join the others.

Wynne was watching with distaste on her face as Kallia and Alistair shoveled food into their mouths.

"I don't remember you eating like this at the Tower, child. Surely Irving taught you better manners."

"I'm more interested in knowing where it all goes," Zevran chimed in as he approached the group, once more looking over Kallia's figure, his eyes lingering in certain areas a tad longer than necessary. "There simply doesn't seem to be enough room for it to all fit..."

Alistair glared at the elf for the comment. "It's a Grey Warden thing, we all went through it. I used to get up in the middle of the night and raid the castle larder. I thought I was starving. I'd slurp down every dinner as though it were my last. My face would be all cover in gravy and I'd look up from my plate and the other Grey Warden would stare for a moment then laugh themselves to tears…" He chuckled sadly at the memory of his now dead friends.

"Perhaps you are merely a pig," Morrigan told him with a pleased smile. Despite her earlier protests, she had wandered back over as the group began eating and had taken the bowl Kallia had silently offered her.

"Perhaps you're merely a bitch," he sneered back.

Leliana realized the need to change the tone of the conversation quickly so she laughed and clapped her hands, "Oh! Do me next! What am I, Alistair?"

"You're merely a lunatic, Leliana," Kallia offered and the bard burst into giggles.

The rest of the meal was spent with lighthearted joking and laughing.

.oO***Oo.

Finally we get to some light heartedness! I had originally not intended for these depressing parts to go on for so long. But despite all of the depressiveness, I think it was very important that it did. Kallia is finally starting to deal with the emotional baggage resulting from leaving the Tower.

Now I'm sure the nit-picky readers out there (don't get me wrong I love my nit-picky readers, they keep me honest) are going… "Wait a minute! She says she would kill Jowan but you implied she destroyed his phylactery even after he'd abandoned her!"

My response? Yeah, I implied that. Yeah, she does say that (and probably really believes it). And yeah, those two statements do conflict. I did it intentionally. I can't say much more or it could potentially ruin stuff in the future.

Now, I would like to point out something. Kallia is not suicidal. That last chapter was not intended to sound like that, though I can certainly see where you're getting that from. It was intended to be angsty, but not suicidally and I hope this chapter allowed you to better understand that.

She doesn't want to die but she has come to a grim acceptance that she willdie sooner or later (any mage that doesn't accept this, either becomes an abomination or becomes Tranquil because they can't accept it). And she realizes that, as one of two Grey Wardens left to fight the Blight, her death will probably be sooner than later. You don't spend every day fighting for your life without running that risk. Kallia's got enough common sense to know the risks she's taking.

Aren't mages such cheery people? XD