Hellloooo!!! Does wink, wink, nudge, nudge mean anything to you people?! Of course I'm not going to end it there, what are you, stupid? Humor fics can't have bad endings, and definitely not abrupt endings! JEEBUS! What the hell is wrong with you! Here's the real ending! Ugh, for crap's sake! I'm working with a load of gullibles!

It'd been six long years since that very day. Every day was like the one before: hell. But I never gave up hope that I would find him again. I would spend hours turning my game counsel on and off, trying to make it do what it had once done. It never worked.

When I turned 18 I left that awful hellhole that I had once called home. I thought that I would find happiness elsewhere. I was wrong. I wanted to hold on longer, I really did, but I just couldn't. I was so tired, tired of living, tired of holding on to nothing. It was all too much for me and hope was just a memory. So I ended it all. I ran into the bathroom of my apartment and pried apart my shaver. I picked up the small razor that fell to the floor. It felt cold in my fingers, unbearably cold, but it was my savior, and for that I thanked it as the metal sliced through my clammy flesh. It took about two minutes for me to feel the effects of the lost blood. At first I became dizzy, very dizzy. Suddenly I was freezing cold. My blood felt icy as it flowed through my veins and out my wrist. I lay on the ground slowly slipping away. My vision blurred and I knew that I would soon be gone. Suddenly I heard the door open. I didn't know who it could be, because I lived alone. I figured it didn't matter anyway, it was too late to save me; I'd already lost too much blood. I heard the person speak, "What have you done to yourself!" I recognized the voice almost immediately... It was Link! I felt my heart slip into my stomach as I realized that had I waited just a couple minutes longer I would be safe in the arms of love. But I hadn't waited. I would never be with him again and it was my fault. Something grasped my shoulders and a bright light surrounded me. I looked down and my wrists were perfectly healed.

"Am I dead?" I asked though there was no one to be seen.

"Not quite, but you came awful close."

"Link? Is that you?" My heart sang. I tried to see him, but there was still no one there.

"Yes, it's me."

"Where are you?"

"I'm here, you just can't see me; we haven't finished making the transition yet."

"Transition?" It was as I said it that I felt the ground beneath my feet and the bright light dispersed. I immediately saw the castle before me and... Link, he was there too. I ran into his arms and I couldn't imagine how I'd ever let go.

"Well, I guess you're not mad at me?"

It was a big mistake of his to say that, since it reminded me of what that bastard had done to me. I stepped back and slapped him across the face.

"Perhaps I spoke too soon..."

"How could you do that to me?! Just because that stupid moron Zelda tells you to do something doesn't mean you have to do it!"

"But she's the princess!"

"I don't care! Why didn't you just kill her?"

"Well I suppose I could've, but that would have ultimately defied the whole purpose of what we had been doing for the past three weeks."

"Not necessarily... but it doesn't matter!" I said and wrapped him in another hug.

"Umm... Do you have any mental problems I should know about?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, like Multiple Personality Disorder?"

"Real funny."

"Yes, I know."

"Link?" I said after a couple of minutes.

"Yes?"

"How did you find me? I didn't think it was possible."

"Well let's see..." He looked up at the sky. "How does it go?"

"How does what go?"

"Oh, I remember." Then he looked back down at me. ".....Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough,"

I laughed and then joined him, "Ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from get to you."

And we continued singing for almost an hour, until it ended like a lot of things do... with a kiss.

~*~The REAL End~*~

There! Are you friggin' happy?! I didn't have her kill herself like I wanted to! *Stomps her foot and pouts like a toddler* And most things do not end with a kiss, they end with a punch or a gun blast! Well anyway, now it's time for a sequel! Of course this time it's gonna go my way... and unfortunately, very little if not any humor in it. It just wouldn't fit. And it's going to be very sad/funny depending on your mental state, but it's definitely not for wee ones so be careful....... mwa ha ha ha ha ................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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