Chapter 25

BPOV

We drove the bus to the airport. The ride to the airport was spent in silence. Our family and the Cullens were both grieving. We were grieving over Katie. She was just like my daughter and she was a good wife to Ashton. Their personalities were opposites but complemented each other. They were a match made in heaven but Katie died because of rescuing me. Then there's Edward, he was always so kind to me. He was a perfect gentleman and he died because of his undying love for me. Both of them died because of me. I'm blaming it on myself. What face could I show to Ashton? To my family? To the Cullens? And most especially, to Drake? Drake risked his life just for me and that made me love him more but what happened if that fight turned out different? I would blame myself for the rest of eternity or just kill myself. I wish that I could have loved both Edward and Drake. If I did, we would be happy. No fighting would occur. THIS IS MY FAULT. Drake and Jasper sighed at the same time.

"Bella, please stop feeling guilty. None of this is your fault." Drake whispered. I frowned.

"Yes it is. Everything is my fault. If I could have just followed Edward" they winced at his name but I continued "None of this would have happened. He won't be dead and neither would Katie. You should just get rid of me. I don't deserve you guys." I said, sadly. Drake suddenly growled at me and I was truly taken aback. Sure, we had fights before but not like this. He has never growled at me before.

"I WILL REPEAT, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I'LL PROVE IT. If you believe that this is Bella's fault, raise your hand." Drake said and no one did. "Those who believe that it isn't, raise your hand." Everyone did and I sighed. I still blame myself. I feel so horrible. In my entire existence, this is the first time I've actually felt that I am a monster. I could hear Ashton, Esme and Alice's crying and that made me feel even worse. I walked slowly to Ashton who was sitting at the back, isolating himself from everyone. I sat beside him and held out my hands and he scooted towards me and collapsed in my embrace.

"It would be alright." I whispered.

"Mom….. Katie…… Dead." He said, sounding primal.

"I know, dear. I know…. You have to get through this. Do you think that she would want to see you like this?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Mom, promise me that you won't blame this on yourself and go to Italy and attempt to kill yourself. Losing her already take a toll on me. I don't think I can take another one." He told me and I had no choice but to promise due to his power.

"I promise." I replied and he nodded.

"Thank you. Go check on Esme and Alice first. I need some time alone." He told me and I nodded. I walked to Esme who was being comforted by a depressed-looking Carlisle. Edward- wince- was his first son and it must have hurt him bad. I gave them an apologetic glance.

"I'm sorry." I said and the both of them turned their attention to me.

"Bella, this isn't your fault. It was his."Carlisle told me, reassuringly. I shook my head furiously.

"Please don't blame this on yourself. No one is blaming you." Esme said, her voice hoarse from crying.

"I've caused you guys so much pain. Before and now. I have brought nothing but trouble to your family." I said, angrily at myself.

"That's not true, Bella." Said a familiar voice. I turned around to see Alice. She looked terrible. Her clothes weren't crisp. It was also somewhat torn, maybe from the fighting. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to our family. This is not your fault, Bella. It's not, so stop blaming yourself. I hate it when you do that." She said firmly and all I could do was nod. "Oh Bella!" she cried and threw herself at me and I caught her then hugged her tightly. I didn't realize I was dry sobbing until Alice whispered soothing words in my ear in between her own sobs. We soon calmed down and we parted ways, I went to Drake and she to Jasper. The sun was now setting and darkness was about to strike. I loved the dark. No one could see us meaning no hiding. I hated hiding what we are. I wish vampires, humans and werewolves could just coexist without pretending. Pretending to me was saying that we were weak. That we were too weak to show humans what we truly are. We fear their judgment. Drake was still silent which meant he wasn't happy. I admit that normally, he is quiet but when he was quiet he always held my hand or held me but now he wasn't even noticing me. He was just looking through the window, eyes narrowed and his mouth in a tight line.

"I'm sorry." I finally told him and I saw his eyes flicker to me momentarily and he shook his head. I was hurt. Is he rejecting my apology?

"You shouldn't say sorry. This isn't your fault. Look what happened to you. He raped you, Bella. How could I let that happen? I should have forced my feet to go faster and catch him but I gave up! He defiled your body and it's because I'm weak." He exclaimed. I scoffed.

"You are not weak. You are kind and caring and the most lovable person I have ever met. You shouldn't be blaming yourself. This isn't your fault." It's mine.

"I love you, Bella." He told me and I smiled weakly.

"I know. I love you too."

"Promise me that once we get home. We will fly to Vegas and get married again." He told me and I had to laugh at him for even suggesting Vegas.

"NO!" I heard Alice and Ashley shout at the same time.

"Wait for a month and we'll have the wedding ready again. You just have to change some things in the entourage." Ashley said and I nodded.

"Sure." I said with a shrug.

I have to stop blaming myself. All of them don't deserve my self-loathing. How could they truly be happy if I wasn't happy? I had to get pass myself to move on. I have a wonderful family and husband. And I am sure that they would always be there for me in my best and worst.

A/N: The next chapter would be the wedding. I have a surprise coming… Please tell me what you thought and thank you for reading…….

xoxoxo