Chapter 26: The Bureau Raid
Well after five weeks on the east coast, it was time to go home. Just before we head out Chris and Emma come to the Sabre window to say goodbye, I guess.
"Hey, Dad," Chris said.
"Wassup?" I said.
"What would you think of Emma and I moving in with you in Los Santos?" Chris asked.
"For real? Well, what about school?" I asked.
"I can transfer to Los Santos High, same goes for Emma," Chris said.
"I guess you two can sleep on the pull out bed on my couch. But what about your mother?" I asked.
"Actually, this was all her idea," Chris said.
"Are you fucking serious?" I asked.
"Yeah. She said that you never got the chance to be a father. She wanted to give you chance to be a father. Plus, Mom contacted the Principal of Los Santos High. Apparently, the Principal owed Mom a favor because the Principal of Los Santos High was one of the fifty guys Mom had fucked. I'm pretty much already transferred. Same for Emma," Chris said.
Sam walks out and I get out of the Sabre. I hug Sam.
"Thank you for giving me this chance, Samantha. I really appreciate it," I said.
"Well, I've gotten the chance to be a mother. You never had that chance. Maybe things would've been different if I wasn't a sex-crazed drug whore. So this is my way of saying that I am sorry for everything," Sam said.
"Apology accepted. I'm sorry about everything I did. The insults, your neck. I'm sorry for every horrible thing I had done," I said.
"It's okay, John. Can I ask you something before you head out?" Sam said.
"Ask away," I said.
Sam takes a deep breath.
"So...let's say things don't work out for you, Nikki and Sapphire. Is there any chance that you and I would possibly get back together?" Sam asked.
I take a deep breath.
"You want the truth?" I asked.
"I want the whole truth and nothing but the truth," Sam said.
"Okay then. Honestly, Sam, I think what we had before will never happen again. Too much painful shit" I said.
"Oh..." Sam said sadly.
Sam looks at the ground as if she's going to cry.
I raise Sam's face up from her chin using the tips of my fingers.
"Hey. If it makes you feel any better, I will always love you in more ways than one" I said.
Sam sniffles and our eyes meet.
"Do you...do you really mean that?" Sam asked.
I kiss the side of Sam's cheek. She smiles.
"And really dom Sam...I am so proud of what you've turned out to be in life. You've got a great house, you raised a good son, and you're a very successful attorney. You went from being a biker whore to a successful lawyer" I said.
"You're really proud of me?" Sam asked.
I put my hand on Sam's shoulder, give her a gentle squeeze and smirk.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.
"Well, let's get all of your shit packed up," I said.
"Actually its already packed up in Chris's car that you 'bought' him last night," Sam said.
I smile and laugh. Sam starts to walk away.
"Hey, Sam?" I said.
"Yeah?" Sam said.
"There's gonna be a time and place that may require a really kick-ass lawyer," I said.
Sam smiles.
"I'll think about it," Sam said.
Sam and I smile. Chris and I start our engines and drive off to Los Santos.
"You'll be a great father, John!" Sam yelled.
Chris and I exit the apartment complex's parking lot as Sam waves at us goodbye.
"I know you will," Sam said.
After a day or two drive, we arrive back in Sandy Shores and unpack all of Chris's and Emma's stuff into my house.
"So, this is where you live? In a town full of rednecks and tweakers?" Chris asked.
"Yeah pretty much. It's not so bad. The rednecks and tweakers aren't actually that bad. Except for one that's a crazy motherfucker that will kill you, do funny things to your corpse and then eat you. His name is Trevor Phillips. Stay away from that crazy motherfucker" I said.
"So there's a meth-addled cannibal just down the road?" Chris asked.
"Yeah. Just ignore him and you two will be fine" I said.
My phone rings. It's Noah.
"Hey, Noah. How have you've been?" I asked.
"Better than the last time I saw you, homie," Noah said.
"Well, of course, you're better than I was the last time you saw me. Last time you saw me, I was beaten half-dead and almost died. If Nikki hadn't called Cheetah when she did I wouldn't be standing here talking to you" I said.
"Yeah, well, Papa found out that I set him up for him to be offed by you. I don't know where Papa is. When I find out where that puto is, you'll be the first person I call," Noah said.
"Much appreciated," I said.
My phone vibrates. Someone else is calling me.
"Hey, I've got to go. Someone is calling me," I said.
I end the call with Noah and answer this call.
"So...I'm needed again, Lester?" I asked.
"Yes. Were meeting at the FIB Building in Los Santos. We're having you picked up at your house in the Alamo Sea," Lester said.
"Wait...how do you know where I live?" I asked.
"I'll see you soon," Lester said.
Lester hangs up and I get picked up in a black van.
"Yeah...A black van that looks like the one that was used to rob the bank at Paleto Bay. Very smart," I said sarcastically.
"Just get in the fucking van," The Driver said.
After a four hour drive, we arrive at the FIB building.
"Why the fuck out of all of the places we could have met up why here?" I asked.
Michael and Franklin approach me.
"Because of our friend, the Bureau is in need of us," Michael said.
"Michael, what did I say about getting me involved with the FIB?" I asked.
"I know what you said, but you're not working with the FIB. You're working with me," Michael said.
"Listen, Nigga. Just do what this old white dude says, You'll be getting paid more than last time. That's gotta be worth it at least," Franklin said.
"Alright, fine. But any Feds come showing up at my doorstep, I'm coming after you, Michael," I threatened.
"They'res no need for threats, John," Michael said.
A Helicopter Pilot walks up to Michael.
"Alright, you're Haines guys? We've got to wait until it's late enough then we move in with the Chopper," Michael said.
"Why do we need a Helicopter Pilot?" I thought.
We wait for night time and then we move into the Chopper.
"If you want to take the first lag, then I'll take over from there," The Pilot said.
Michael takes the stick and lifts off into the air.
"I'm taking us up to jump altitude," Michael said.
"Jump altitude? Oh, fan-fucking-tastic!" I said angerly.
"Feels a little weird without Trevor being on the stick," Franklin said,
"Feels okay to me. He may be a better pilot, but I'm less inclined to kill you in your sleep," Michael said.
I guess they had a falling out.
"Shit, that ain't what he says," Franklin said.
"Okay, I'm less inclined to stab you in the face and do funny things to your corpse," Michael said.
'That sounds about right," Franklin said.
"Heh. I said the same thing to my son!" I said.
"Understandable. Hey. Everyone. Quick pep talk. My friend, Franklin here, called me out for being an ungrateful prick on the way over here. Now, I admit, I have been remiss. So everyone is being paid on this run, except for me. But it ain't great money for the crazy target you're drawing on your backs, and there is a good chance that this won't work out at all" Michael said.
"I wouldn't have taken this job if I would think that this wouldn't work out. We've got this!" I said encouragingly.
"Look down there! Lester weren't kidding. He torched the joint!" Franklin said.
"Yeah, makes me think Lester doesn't have faith in his own crazy plan. Hey! Come on, grab the stick!" Michael said.
"You got it!" The Pilot said.
The Pilot switches places with Michael as we all get up and slide the side doors open.
"You ready?" Michael asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be. Are you ready?" I asked.
"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm lucky I can even breathe at this altitude! Let alone calculate the odds of surviving the jump or the landing. Fucking firefight or whatever blowback there might be" Michael said.
"Alright, I shouldn't have asked!" I said.
I sit down and let my legs chill in the air. I don't think I can jump.
"Come on! The fuck you waiting for? Let's go!" Michael said.
Michael pushes me with his foot and I fly out of the chopper. Everyone else follows me after.
"JEEEEEEEEEEEESUS CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST!" I yelled.
When we got low enough we deploy our parachutes.
I feel the yank of the parachute.
"Ooof!" I grunted.
We land on the rooftop of the FIB and take off our parachutes. I can barely breathe.
"Ah...Oh...Holy...fuckin'...I should've done a line of Coke before I jumped," I said.
"Really nigga?" Franklin said.
"Fuck no. I don't do anything that's not booze or kush related," I said.
We put on our masks. I equip my combat MG. I load the box magazine and cock the combat MG. I smile.
"Now that's what I'm talking about," I said
"J, glass cutter," Michael said.
I pull out the glass cutters and start cutting a large rectangle on the glass for us to be able to infiltrate the FIB headquarters.
"Come on, F, let's go" Michael commanded.
"I'm on it!" Franklin said.
Franklin grabs the suction cups and pulls the glass off of the building.
"Better than an elevator," Michael said.
We jump down inside of the FIB building.
"We're in the building, R" Michael said.
"Okay, broskees. The server room is on the south-east corner of the building," Rickie said.
Michael walks to the server room door and tries to open it but it doesn't budge. It's locked
"Room's sealed. Hold while I gain access," Michael said.
Michael attaches a sticky bomb onto the sealed door. This is gonna be loud as all fucking Hell. We all get to cover. Michael blows up the door causing the alarm to go off.
"I'm pretty sure that there was an EASIER WAY TO DO THAT!" I yelled.
"Dudes, the alarm has been tripped!" Rickie said.
"Yeah, no shit. An explosion will tend to do that," Michael said.
Michael gains access to the server terminal.
"Alright bro, the program is on your cell phone. Connect it to the computer," Rickie said.
Surprisingly no security resistance has shown up yet. Maybe we'll get away with this before they even show up. Security then shows up. Spoke too soon. Fuck my life. We open fire while we wait for the files to download.
"We've got two minutes! Let's make them count," Michael said.
Michael radios the Pilot.
"I don't wanna wait on the Chopper! Bring it down to the building and be ready to go!" Michael commanded.
The Pilot hovers over the rooftop of the FIB building. Maybe we'll make it out alive. The Chopper is immediately shot down and crashes into the side of the FIB building. I really should stop speaking so goddamn soon.
"Sonuvabitch! How in the fuck are we gonna get out of here now?!" I asked
"Don't worry. We've got a backup plan! Use the harnesses. We'll rappel from a few floors down," Michael said.
"Good idea. We'll leave ourselves hanging for a FIB Chopper to shoot us down!"I yelled.
"Don't worry, J. We've got rockets," Michael said.
"Hey, the dudes are through the doors!" Franklin said.
The FIB agents are throwing everything they've got at us.
"Motherfucker! You think there's enough of them?" I asked.
More Cops and FIB agents show up.
"GODDAMN MY FUCKING MOUTH!" I yelled.
The FIB agents throw gas canisters trying to flush us out.
"Murphy's law is being a complete dick today," I said.
"Man, they gassing us out!" Franklin said.
"Smoke bombs. Keep it cool!" Michael said.
"My dudes, you there?" Rickie asked.
"Yeah, go ahead," Michael said.
"The chopper caused major damage, bros. The explosion went through a couple of floors. The water sprinklers went off and got the fire under control, but be extremely careful," Rickie said.
"Noted," Michael said.
"Aight, my dudes. The downloads com-to the-plete. Grab the device," Rickie said.
Michael grabs the device.
"Alright, people. Let's get the Hell out of here!" Michael said.
We walk towards the nearest exit and I kick down the door. A FIB guard bursts through the door and gets a belly full of lead. The holes from the bullets cause him to squirt like a blood sprinkler. Michael shoots another FIB guard hiding behind a door in the head causing his brains to splatter on the wall.
"I got this door!" I said.
I kick the door open and shoot and kill another FIB guard causing his body to fall down the flight of stairs.
"The man bought it, lets move!" I commanded.
We approach the closest door and we hear voices.
"Hold on. I hear something from the staircase" They said.
I take cover on the right side of the door.
"Opening. Here we go" I said.
I open the door and we open fire on the FIB guards killing them in the process. The floor is painted with their blood. Glorious. Just glorious. We walk through the door and down a hallway with activated sprinklers.
"Hey. We got a problem down here. The sprinklers. Can't see anything," Michael said.
"Can you shut it off?" I asked.
"I got you bros" Rickie said.
Rickie shuts off the sprinkler system.
"Atta boy!" I said.
A bunch of FIB guards come out of cover and start to fire at us. We quickly find cover and start firing back. I throw a grenade killing the majority of them and we gun down the rest. We get out of cover and we head down through a couple of holes in the walls leading us to the destroyed helicopter.
"Fuck!" Michael said.
We get closer to the helicopter.
"Well, he didn't make it,' Michael said.
"You sure man? Cause he might still be ali-" Franklin said.
"Whoa!" Michael said.
The helicopter the budges loose from the building and falls to the ground.
"Nope he didn't make it," Michael said.
"Famous last words," I said.
"Oh you a funny motherfucker, huh? Man lets get the fuck outta here!" Franklin said.
"No. Were too high. The wind will tie us in a knot. We gotta keep moving" Michael said.
"Shit I wish I was high right now," I said.
"We'll smoke a bowl later. For now, let's get going,' Franklin commanded.
We slide down a destroyed floor to a lower level and continue on from there. I see a FIB agent trying to open an elevator. I pull out my .50 and shoot him in the head. I then approach the elevator and attempt to force it open.
"What are you doing, nigga?" Franklin asked.
"There could be people stuck down there!" I said.
"Leave them! We don't got time for this" Michael said.
I ignore his orders and managed to open the elevator and free the people. I point my .50 at them.
"Get the fuck going! Get outta here! Before I kill you all!" I yelled.
They leave in terror.
"Shit, I woulda just left them or killed them," Franklin said.
"There would've been no point. Not everyone needs to die" I said.
"Alright. Let's continue," Michael said.
We continue to pass the elevator and Michael shoots another FIB agent.
"You guys make an honest killer like me sick!" Michael insulted.
We take cover by open doors and we kill two more FIB agents coughing for their lives. Michael aims his pistol at a medic trying to save someone's life. I force the gun the gun down.
"He doesn't need to die. Let's just move on" I said.
Michael nodded and we continue to move our asses. We gun down two more FIB agents.
"Back down, assholes!" Michael said.
"Corrupt ass bitches!" Franklin said.
We find another set of stairs and head downwards and encounter another FIB agent. Michael kills them with one shot to the head. We then approach another open area from the destroyed windows.
"We low enough?" Franklin asked.
"Yeah, this'll do. Set up the rigs, J" Michael commanded.
"Aight," I said.
I set up the lines while Michael talks to Rickie.
"What's going on the outside?" Michael said.
"They're bringing as many people in the air and on the ground as possible. I don't know if you dudes got the firepower to hold them of. They could be there any second," Rickie said.
"Then be better get going before they show up," Michael said.
"Let's get the fuck outta here then," Franklin said.
We begin to rappel down to a lower level onto the outside balcony.
"Look! To the right! That's about every cop in the city!" Franklin said.
"They don't look like their here for us. At least not yet" Michael said.
"Uh, dudes. The chopper saw you and it's got some really big guns" Rickie said.
"Ah crap! They got a bird!" Michael said.
We get to cover as the chopper opens holy hellfire on us. While the gattling guns take time to cool down I take the chance to blow the chopper out of the sky with a homing RPG. I take the chopper down with one shot.
"Booyah, motherfucker!" I yelled.
We all start to run to the left side of the balcony and set up the ropes to lower ourselves.
"Time to go," Michael said.
"No shit. Let's get cracking. Unless you feelin' at home at the Fed building" Franklin said.
"Hey. You wanna side with Trevor? Feel free" Michael said.
"Man, I was just fucking with you, dog. Let's do this shit," Franklin said.
We reach the ground and begin to run towards the location of the getaway vehicle. All we see is an ambulance.
"Wheres the fucking driver?" I asked.
"Hey!" She said.
"In the ambulance! Move!" I commanded.
We all get in the ambulance and we drive off. We passed a couple of members of the Law.
"Keep your cool, people," I said.
We drive away from the FIB building away from the Police.
"PHEW! We fucking did it! We did it again, boy! Fuck yeah!" I said excitedly.
I high five everyone.
"Okay. We lost them. Frank, we're meeting with Lester at your place for a quick little debrief. Hey, that was a good call on the ambulance, Talianna" Michael said.
"Thanks, Man. I saw what was going on down there so I figured it would be best to blend in" Talianna said.
"That's the type of thinking that gets you paid. And whoa. All I gotta say is that I didn't think we were gonna make it out of there" Michael said relieved.
"Neither did I. Once our chopper went down I thought that was it but we made it out in the end," I said.
"Yeah, sure, man. We had it covered" Franklin said.
"Really? It was covered, was it?" Michael said.
"Uhhh, yeah. Lester had the plan. It was all set up" Franklin said.
"Yeah, we had a plan. Hold off the nastiest team of crooked FIB agents in the county while the last of the baby boomers pretends he's a hacker? Come on! It was hopeful. And when the chopper crashed? Man, I thought there was no fucking way. Why do you think Lester burned down the business? Why do you think I'm still doing it for nothing? And these clowns are getting paid?" Michael said.
"You want me to turn the car around? I can always manage that if you're gonna talk shit!" Talianna threatened.
"Hey, chill. Mikey's just joking" Franklin said.
"Yeah. I was semi-sorta serious but joking once you reacted like that, alright? Chill out" Michael said.
"Look, man, he was just messing with ya'll. It's his great sense of humor. The FIB people who put us up to this, they probably gonna pop him anyway to tie up loose ends" Franklin said.
The FIB had us attack their own building? I don't even want to know.
"Hey. This is the place right here, Talianna. Can you ditch the vehicle and give John a ride home?" Michael asked.
"Yeah, I can" Talianna said.
Talianna stops the ambulance and drops off Michael and Franklin and heads towards my place.
"Well, we're here. Mind if I come in and we drink and fool around to celebrate?" Talianna offered.
I smile and chuckle a bit.
"Thanks but no thanks. I'm with someone. Or two someone's I should say" I said.
"You're cheating on two women but won't have fun with me?" Talianna asked.
"I'm not cheating on one with the other. We're all dating each other. It's a bisexual relationship" I said.
"Ah. I see. Well then you have my respect" Talianna said.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the ambulance and Talianna drives off. I go inside my house and see Nikki and Sapphire sitting on the couch watching Impotent Rage. They hear the sound of me closing the door.
"John!" Sapphire yelled excitingly.
Nikki and Sapphire rush over to me and hug me.
"We're so glad you're okay!" Sapphire said.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.
We walk to the living room and Sapphire turns the TV to the news. They're showing the attack on the FIB building.
"Why would you do this John?" Nikki asked.
"Easy money that's why," I said.
"So you're willing to risk your ass for a quick paycheck? That's no way to live" Sapphire said.
"The money is worth it," I said.
"We're not talking about the money. Sure the money is good. It helps get the bills paid and buys us garbage bags of weed but it's you that we're worried about. It worries that one day you're gonna get shot up so many times that you won't come back" Nikki said.
"Yeah. It scares us to death. Please. Don't do this anymore. When we saw that the building was crashed into by a helicopter we thought you had died. Please, we're begging you. Don't do this anymore" Sapphire said.
"Alright. I won't do any more jobs from here on out" I said.
"You promise?" Sapphire asked.
I sigh.
"I promise," I said.
I then begin to smell something. Something stinks and it's coming from my room. I recognize that smell. It's marijuana. I get up and peak through the crack of my door. It's Chris and Emma. They're smoking weed out of a pipe. I barge in there looking all serious and the give me an "Oh. Shit." look on their faces.
"Dad, please don't kick us out! We're just having fun!" Chris said.
I snag the pipe and lighter out of Chris's hands.
"My own son. Smoking weed in my own room?" I said angerly.
Chris and Emma won't take the shock out of there eyes.
I spark it up and smile as I puff out the smoke.
"How could I be more prouder?" I said.
"You smoke weed too?" Emma said.
"Fuck yeah. But here hold on" I said.
I then go into the garage and bring back a garbage bag of weed.
"Holy shit!" Chris said.
"I take out a nug and start grinding it. I pack a bowl from my bong.
"Here. Now try this shit" I said.
Chris takes a hit and coughs like a bitch.
"Hoooooollly shieeeeet," Chris said.
Chris passes my bong to Emma. Emma hits it and coughs even more than Chris is. Nikki and Sapphire walk in the room. I take the hit and pass the bong to Sapphire.
"You two smoke weed as well?" Chris asked.
"Fuck yeah!" Sapphire said.
"I quit for a while. I just recently started back up" Nikki said.
Sapphire hits the bong and passes it to Nikki. Nikki takes a hit and coughs a lot.
"You sound like Chris," I said.
"Hey!" Chris yelled.
We all sit down and keep hitting the bong. All one big happy stoned family.