A/N: Okay, long authors note.
First of all: a HUGE thank you to the reviewer AbiSnocom who has damn near reviewed every chapter! You've had me in fits of laughter with some of your responses! I love it!
And, secondly: Please don't hate me for what's about to happen. I can tell you guys are going to get mad at the next two chapters, but just remember, it has to get worse before it can get better. And things will get better, I promise! I'll post the next chapter straight away, because it would be cruel to keep you guys hanging ...
Okay, and ... Breathe!(:
Blaine Anderson:
"No, Kurt. It's serious. She just walked out, and - " I pause, as Kurt lets out a giggle that's girly even by his standards. My shoulder cradles the phone and I dig my spoon into the half-eaten jar of Peanut Butter. "Kurt, what are you laughing at?"
"Stop it, baby ... " Kurt's voice is husky, and so obviously not directed at me. Oh god, that's his bedroom voice!
"Is Karofsky with you?" I ask sharply, spooning the Peanut Butter into my mouth grumpily.
"Ah yeah," Kurt lets out another laugh, and I hear the distinct sound of a kiss. Of course. Of fucking course. "I'm going to have to go, Blaine. But things will work out, I promise."
"Yeah, whatever. I have to go to work anyway - " I start in a hard voice, but Kurt hangs up the phone without saying another word.
I groan, and let my head slump against the kitchen cupboard. How could everything turn from great to shit so quickly?
I just want it to stop.
I just want her.
Although I would much rather ignore what she said, I tell Jackson - my manager - about Santana's suggestion. Because - even if I am mad right now - it is a good idea, and I'd be stupid not to at least propose it. I don't want this shop to shut down, and I'll do anything I can to prevent that.
Of course, he latches on to the idea immediately: A book store and live music - like she said, what more could people want?
So Jackson stays around until closing time, asking customers about their opinion. As expected, everyone responds enthusiastically. Most importantly, he promises that if this idea happens and business picks up, he'd be willing to consider me as a business partner.
So yeah, I want to be happy. I want to get excited as well, because hey, I'll get to keep my job - and working with live bands will be kinda cool. I might even do some shows myself ...Ultimately, this could be very good for me.
But all I can think about is Santana.
I'm hopeless. Because ... I miss her. I miss everything. Waking up alone was the worst thing. I feel ... Empty. As clichéd, weak and lame as it is ... I just want her to come home. To me.
God. Why can't she just say what's on her mind instead of dancing around it? Why are we even fighting?
Most of all, I just want to know who was on that phone. Because, deep down, I know that that's why she's upset. I know Santana. I know her. And I know that this fight between us - her arguing - it's self protection. She's protecting me from whatever was said in that phone call.
I just ... I don't know if I can handle it much longer.
"Coz she isn't there to hold your hand ... " The lyrics blast through the house, and I turn up the volume another notch. Music is my only escape. "She won't be waiting for you when you land ... "
My head falls back on the couch, and I groan loudly. Why?
Everything was going so great! Why do things have to be all messed up now? I want to be celebrating with Santana right now - I want to kiss her, and tell her that she's amazing, and smart, and beautiful, and I love her.
God, I love her.
After coming home to an empty house, I've realized that all I want to do is fix this. Whatever it is. I just want Santana back. I want her kisses, and her lips, and -
" ... Blaine!" My head snaps around, and there she is. She's standing in the door way fuming, but she's here. She's back. I jump to my feet. "I've been calling your name for the past ten minutes!" Her hands are on her hips, and her expression is defiant - but she is here. She's home.
"Did you hear - "
"You singing awfully along with the Arctic Monkeys? Yes." She nods curtly, and I grin sheepishly.
"Sorry, I - "
"What's going on with us?" Santana's voice is dead serious, and my smile fades.
"You'd know," The words slip from my mouth before I can pull them back - and they are coated in attitude that definitely wasn't intentional.
"Blaine, I - "
"No," I cut her off. "You can't just do that to me, Santana! All jokes aside, it broke my heart to wake up without you this morning! I love you, you know?" My voice chokes up. "I'm attached to you now, don't you get it? You can't just leave like that for no reason - "
"There was a reason!"
"Then what? What made you mad?" The blaring music seems to disguise the distinct shake in my voice.
"Seeing you with Kurt - how comfortable you were ... Okay. Look. Tell me this, Blaine: How is it that you managed to talk your way out of cheating on your boyfriend, magically transforming your sexuality and falling in love with your female roommate - then still have Kurt as your best friend? While I can't look at Brittany anymore, because she doesn't see me! I'm not even a speck of dust on her radar! She's pregnant, Blaine! And I'm meant to be there for her, but instead - I'm with you. Because you're all I have left!"
Oh.
"God, you sound like you're still in love with her or something!" I slam blindly at the stereo, until my fingers find the off button. The music cuts out, and tense silence rings across the room.
Santana arcs an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You know what I think? I think you're jealous. You're jealous that I can still be friends with Kurt, while you lost Brittany! I should've known that this has nothing to do with some stupid phone call! Santana - "
"Now hold on just a second. It has everything to do with that stupid phone - "
"Will you just shut up, so I can - "
"Don't you dare tell me to shut up, Blaine Anderson - "
"Fuck!" I yell, slamming my fist down onto the table. "I can't stand you right now! Jesus, would it kill you to let someone else talk? Or, is it all about you?"
"Fuck you."
"No. That's not good enough."
"You know what? I'm done." She throws her hands up and turns away.
"Stop it!" I yell. I grab her arm, and pull her against me.
It takes a minute of blind struggles and yelling, until I am crushing my lips against hers. My hands cup her cheeks, dragging her closer to me. I'm shoving my tongue in her mouth, letting our bodies smash together. Our tongues duel furiously, and it almost takes my breath away when she bites down hard on my bottom lip.
I pull away, gasping for breath. "I love you, Goddamit! We are never done, okay?" My voice is booming, sounding angrier than I've ever sounded. "You get it? We're never going to be done! This is real! So don't you ever try and tell me different, Santana!"
She pushes me away. "How can I trust you though?"
"Oh my god! Why aren't you listening to me? Fuck! No wonder Brittany doesn't want to be your friend anymore - you refuse to listen to anyone!"
Santana's face goes slack. I slam my hand over my mouth, but already I can see the effect my words have had on her.
"I hate you." Her voice is strangled, and she storms through the kitchen in a blind rage, shoving passed me.
My body is frozen, until the sharp crash of the front door slams makes me jerk. And I am left alone.
That's when I break down into tears.