Oh I am growing tired
Of allowing you to steal
Everything I have
You're making me feel
Like I was born to service you
But I am growing by the hour
You left us far behind
So we all discard our souls
And blaze through your skies
So unafraid to die
'Cause I was born to destroy you
And I am growing by the hour
And I'm getting strong in every way
Hate This and I'll Love You, Muse 1999
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or its characters. I do, however, own a few characters of my own creation. More about them after the chapter in my AN. ;)
Many, many thanks, as always, to DeJean Smith, Swimom7, Shasta53, and SparklyBabs. They are the best team a girl could ask for, and I'm lucky that they put up with me—and that you do as well. *kisses*
Bella walked around the old, stone house amazed with the sheer number of immortals who had convened in such a short a time. The five from Denali were the first to arrive. The three stunningly beautiful sisters were had many strange ways, or at least it seemed so to Bella. She knew that Tanya, Kate, and Irina were ancient, even from an immortal standpoint, and they had been together since they were all created. The bond they shared was both powerful and palpable. When the three sisters were in a room together, it didn't take Edward's mind reading ability to know that a conversation was being held silently.
The bonded pair that traveled with them, Eleazar and Carmen, was particularly close with Edward. Bella had to smile when she saw Edward walk over and receive a hug from the smaller, dark-hued immortals. Their light accents and soft tones endeared them to her as well. Of course, the five members of Tanya's clan were the easiest to be around because they shared Edward's unique diet.
"Are you all right?" Tanya's gentle voice preceded a soft touch on Bella's shoulder.
Naturally, Bella had heard the vampire approaching, but she'd grown so used to movement around the old house that she was still startled when someone spoke to her. She'd been observing the bustle from a quiet corner, thinking that she would be unnoticed. It took a lot of effort not to throw her shield around herself when Tanya startled her.
"I – yes. I'm just trying to take it all in," she replied, turning toward Tanya. "Are you well?"
Tanya smiled, nodding her head slowly. Her strawberry blond hair that hung in wild tangles around her face fell over one eye, and she brushed it back in a lightning fast movement. "I will have to tie it back if it comes to a fight."
Bella would have shuddered had she still been human. The reflex seemed to reverse itself now that she was immortal; instead of shuddering in fear, she froze—neither breathing nor blinking—as she considered for perhaps the millionth time the possibility of a fight.
"Would you walk with me, Bella? I think, perhaps, I should hunt, and I would like your company."
Bella blinked as her hand found its way to her throat. She was thirsty, and she found herself drawn to the ancient vampire. She'd like to know more about her long life and why she had brought her family so quickly to help Edward and Alice. Bella nodded, smiling shyly.
"Thanks. Newborn thirst," she said with a chuckle.
"I remember," Tanya replied, shocking Bella yet again.
"Everything okay, love?" Edward asked, slipping his arms around her waist. It still amazed her how calm his very presence could make her.
Bella sighed and leaned back into his arms. Tanya nodded and slipped away, murmuring that she would meet Bella by the door.
"I'm going to go hunting with Tanya," she said.
Edward stiffened, making Bella turn quickly in his arms. "Without me?" he asked.
Bella smiled and touched the side of his face. "You're busy with new arrivals. Besides, Tanya follows our diet … it seems like a perfect situation."
"I don't like you being separated from me," he admitted, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead.
"I love you for that," Bella said, pushing gently on his chest. "But I'm fine. I need to hunt anyway."
Edward chuckled. "Of course you do."
Bella cuffed him on the arm playfully, but he caught her wrist and turned her swiftly. He led her back into a dark hallway, pinning her against the wall and capturing her mouth with his. His kiss was hard and needy, his tongue stroking hers until she was breathless with her hands in his hair.
"What was that for?" she asked.
"To ensure you come back quickly," he murmured, kissing down the column of her neck and nipping her shoulder.
Bella gasped. "Effective," she growled, shaking her head to clear it.
Edward walked with her to the door to meet Tanya.
"You'll take care of her," Edward said, his arm drawn protectively around Bella's waist.
Tanya regarded him silently before nodding and stepping out the door.
"Thank you, Tanya," Edward whispered sincerely.
"What did she say to you?" Bella asked, turning toward him with her eyebrows drawn together.
"She said that she would protect you as though you were her own sister. I could not ask for greater protection for you than that."
Edward kissed her once on the forehead and then turned to go back in the house.
I love you, she said in her head, taking her shield down to ensure Edward heard.
"I know," he murmured, not turning around.
Even without seeing his face, Bella could hear the smile in his voice. She nodded and turned around to face Tanya.
"Ready?" she asked.
Tanya smiled, wider and more playfully than Bella had seen her since they'd arrived two days prior. "Care to catch me?" she asked.
Bella blinked rapidly, surprised. "You – know about me, don't you? My somewhat unique gift?"
Tanya shrugged. "I do not plan on losing your, dear. And I am certain that we won't run into humans where I plan to go. Just – do not disappear on me."
"It isn't that simple," Bella explained.
"But of course it is," the older vampire said patiently. "It is part of you and as such you must gain control of it, just like any other immortal power. Do not let it control you."
Bella was still for a moment or two as she considered Tanya's words. In response, Bella crouched low and smirked. "Ready," she said.
Tanya shot through the clearing and into the woods, blurring through the old trees with Bella close behind her. They ran, unfocused in the beginning. Within a mile, they had both picked up on the faint, tinny aroma of a recent kill. There was blood in the air which meant predators were nearby. Both females ran toward the smell.
In a clearing, they found the remains of a red deer taken down savagely by a fierce predator. Tanya crouched low to the ground, sniffing the air. Bella could smell that the kill was fresh, no more than twenty minutes old. She turned her head in the direction the scent traveled. Tanya was already looking that way. The wet, hot pulse of several beating hearts were not far away. They were hidden in the forest only a few feet from Bella and Tanya, frightened by the scent of a greater predator.
Tanya got there first, surprising the group of four badgers out of their hiding place and snatching one as it tried to run away. Bella lunged at the largest male who turned to bare his teeth in self-defense. Once cornered, the male attacked Bella, his nails screeching against her as he hissed and snarled to ward off the predator. They found no purchase on her granite skin as she grabbed his body and brought his throat to her mouth. Within seconds, the animal was still and silent. She looked up to see Tanya watching her carefully
"Seems a pity to kill such a brave little thing," Bella murmured as she wiped the blood from her lips and set the carcass down.
Tanya shrugged. "It is far better than killing even the weakest human," she replied. "That was little more than a snack for you, I'm sure."
"I didn't need much," Bella assured her. "Tanya, may I ask you something?"
"Anything," Tanya said with a smile. "Edward told me you were full of curiosity."
Bella laughed, and nodded. "I think my curiosity at once annoys and enamors him to me."
"Do not underestimate yourself," the older vampire replied. "There is nothing about you that annoys your mate."
Bella noted that Tanya's voice sounded sad and her eyes were downcast. She cocked her head to the side, trying to read what had caused this change but Tanya was as unreadable as she was beautiful. As they buried their kills, Bella began to ask her questions.
"How long have you been a 'vegetarian' vampire?" Bella asked.
"Since 1164," Tanya replied without hesitation.
"So … right after you were turned then?"
Tanya chuckled and shook her head. "No, child. I was a traditional vampire for 656 years before my sisters and I discovered this way of life. Though we were always searching …"
Despite the immortal capabilities of her mind, Bella was still stunned into silence at the sheer magnitude of Tanya's age. The being in front of her was 1503 years old. Wars and famines, changes in topography … Tanya had been witness to them all.
"I don't mean to stare," Bella said, embarrassed. "I was just thinking about the vast amount of history you've seen. It's astonishing to me."
"Yes … I am astonishingly elderly," Tanya said, chuckling. "For someone such as yourself, to whom history is so important, it may sound odd to hear that I don't think about that facet of my life as much as you might think. My world, and what is important to me, is my family. The human realm is something different all together."
"You don't like humans?" Bella asked.
The two began walking through the forest at a leisurely pace, enjoying the early afternoon quiet of the Highlands.
"On the contrary, I find them fascinating. I just don't put much emphasis on their important events."
"I can see that," Bella said thoughtfully. "Even now, I find myself feeling distanced from humanity. I still remember being human, at least a little, but I'm so different now than they are."
"Imagine fifteen hundred years separation from your humanity."
"I cannot even fathom it, Tanya," Bella replied, turning to face the other woman. "What made you choose this diet?"
"My fascination with humans," she answered with a smile. "You see, my sisters and I seek company with … humans from time to time. It was painful to kill the very beings we sought solace with. We would push ourselves beyond our hunger for longer and longer stretches of time, trying to stave off the inevitable need to feed. We made our home in a desolate area, and I had let myself go too far, too long. I was desperately thirsty. I came upon a wounded polar bear. My sisters and I had met Carlisle Cullen and knew of his odd diet. So, nearly crazed with thirst, I savaged the bear. Surprisingly, the blood slaked my thirst, and I began to experiment. When I realized that animal blood could sustain me, my sisters and I never swayed from the diet again."
"That's incredible," Bella murmured. "Edward told me that Carlisle was the first to use the diet."
"Carlisle is greater than any of us; he never once faltered from his course, even as a newborn."
"He woke up … vegetarian?"
"He woke up knowing that he was not a monster. The choice to feed from animals came after days of painful starvation as he denied himself the human blood he craved."
Bella stared at Tanya, her red eyes unblinking, as her immortal mind processed the information. Immediately, the fragrant bouquet of human blood came to her mind and her throat burned with the vivid memory. Even as only a memory, she felt the pull to seek it out and feel it coursing over her tongue to slake the burn. Carlisle would have awoken surrounded by the rich smell of blood, tempted at every step he took, and yet he found a way to resist. Again, she gained respect for the vampire she had never met. His strength was an inspiration to her, and it reminded her of what Tanya had told her earlier about her own gift.
"Tanya, you said earlier that I needed to hone my gift — control it so that it did not control me. I think that it only needs practice in order for me to master it. Would you practice with me?"
Tanya smiled and touched her arm. "I am flattered that you think me so strong as to be able to train you, Bella, but I am neither a skilled fighter nor well-versed in the ways of gifts. My sister, Kate, and one of the newer arrivals, Zafrina, would be better suited to help you."
Bella couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of disappointment. Tanya was the first vampire, aside from Edward, Alice, and Maggie, who had reached out to her. She felt comfortable with Tanya and wanted to deepen that companionship. On top of that, some things about Bella's personality hadn't changed since becoming immortal. It had taken a lot for her to admit there was an aspect of her immortality which she needed help with; she didn't want to have to ask another vampire.
"I worry that I'm going to be a liability when the time comes for a fight," Bella admitted. "I'm already 'the newborn' to everyone who talks about me; I want to be able to contribute this gift that everyone seems to think is so powerful."
"I have no doubt that you will do so," Tanya said, encouragingly. "Perhaps we should head back to the house, and I'll introduce you to Kate and Zafrina. It will take some persuading to get Edward to let you out of his sight, but I think you would agree that he would not be useful in your training."
Bella chuckled and shook her head. "He would like nothing better than to see me in bubble wrap and put up on a shelf during the fight. He won't even talk about the possibility with me."
"It's only natural," Tanya said soothingly. "He's only just found you after so long. To put you in harm's way is utterly unacceptable to him. I cannot blame him for that."
Bella reluctantly agreed with Tanya. She had secretly hoped that her transformation would help Edward see her as both less destructible and closer to his equal. She knew that was unfair; Edward did consider her his equal. If she was being fair and rational, she didn't like to think of him in the thick of a fight either. Tanya and Bella headed back to the house in search of the other women. Bella would deal with Edward if and when his questions came.
The sun was setting as they arrived back at the house, and Tanya went immediately to find her sister and Zafrina. Bella had only seen the statuesque Amazonian vampire in passing, but had been struck immediately by her form. Her caramel skin was shocking to behold, a creamy mix of dark and light hues. Her hair hung in perfect, black braids woven through with brightly colored ribbons. The rich hues caught the eye as Zafrina passed.
As Bella waited for Tanya to come back, she saw Edward's form coming toward her, his mouth a thin line. He'd read in Tanya's mind what her plans were, and Bella guessed that he was coming to dissuade her. To her surprise, she guessed wrong.
"Before you start …" she said, holding up her hand.
Edward caught her fingers with his own and smirked at her. "Start what?"
"You had to have heard Tanya," she replied, her brows knitting together in confusion.
"I did," he murmured, pulling her gently toward him. "I think it's a wise decision."
She showed little resistance as he folded her in his arms, but her mind was still trying to wrap around how effortlessly he accepted the decision. Deep down, she felt certain that it couldn't be that simple and she let him know by dropping her shield.
"I can't teach you to fight," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I can't picture you as prey and attack you the way a sparring partner needs to. Tanya couldn't have picked better teachers for you."
"You're not angry?" Bella asked, aware of the irony of her question. She'd been indignant that he was underestimating her, and here she was asking for his approval.
"Of course not. I want you to be prepared. I just don't want to have to think of the inevitability of you fighting. Does that make sense?"
"Yes," she said, brushing her nose against his chest. "I feel the same way about you. I know you'll fight, and I know you're far more prepared than I am, but I don't want to think of you in danger."
"Maybe it won't come to a fight," Edward said lightly, his finger swirling in circles at the base of her spine.
She chuckled harshly. "You know it will, and so does everyone else who came here. If nothing else, Aro will have another reason to want you when he meets me." Edward growled, but Bella placed her palm over his chest, stilling him. "It's a fact, and we both know it. My shield is too powerful for him not to want me in his little menagerie. No sense in denying it. Neither one of us is going to allow it – nor will our friends – so there will be a fight."
Edward sighed. "They're coming. Do be careful, love. I wouldn't want to have to fight with Kate."
"What's the matter, Edward? Worried that I might shock you?" Kate's blonde head popped up from behind Edward's shoulder, and she winked at Bella. "I hear we're going to spar. I've been itching for some action since we got here."
Edward couldn't seem to help himself; the growl built in his chest, and Bella felt it growing in power under her fingertips.
"All right," she said, pointing a single finger at the center of his chest. "Go. I'll be fine, and I will be back before the dawn."
"You better be," Edward mumbled, bringing his lips to her ear. "I'll be waiting."
Bella shivered in spite of herself as his ran his thumb over the delicate scar on her neck, marking her with his touch. Yes, he would be waiting. Bella was sure of that. And from the sound of his voice, he had his own ideas in mind for distracting them both from thoughts about the coming fight. Bella certainly didn't object to that.
Kate, Zafrina, and Tanya took Bella to a wide, bowl-shaped clearing about twenty miles from the house. White rocks covered in browning pieces of moss stuck out jaggedly from the sides. It was a unique place. Kate, ever the daredevil, found a steep slope and slid down it, holding her hands out to the side as though she were surfing on the rock. The image would have been almost human had she not flipped into the air and karate chopped a massive branch from one of the trees, knocking it to the ground. She grinned up at the others, waving at them to follow her.
"I'm glad you came," Bella said to Tanya as they started down the incline.
"I promised your mate that I would protect you as though you were my own sister," she replied. "It is not a promise I made lightly, nor is it something I can do remotely. I'm still not going to participate."
Tanya perched herself on a small outcropping of rock, her legs folded delicately beneath her. Her vantage point allowed her to see the entire, round area without turning her head very far. Bella continued on down into the ravine where Kate and the silent Zafrina waited for her. The Amazonian vampire unnerved Bella, far more than any of the other immortals who had arrived over the past three days. She and her two sisters, Kachiri and Senna, spent most of their time standing in a corner, conversing without words. Their connection stronger than the Denalis – stranger as well. The three Amazonian vampires exuded both physical strength and raw talent, but they also possessed gifts that troubled many who knew of them. Eleazar, for one, was uneasy around Zafrina because he knew exactly how powerful her gift was.
Bella found Zafrina to be an odd choice for a tutor, especially since neither Kate nor Tanya seemed particularly comfortable around the strange vampire. They respected her, but it was deferential — not welcoming. Bella couldn't help but wonder if Zafrina resented being asked to train the newborn, or even whether she wanted to be in Scotland in the first place. Her stoic silence made Bella assume the worst, even though it was impossible to determine Zafrina's motives.
"First, we need to know if our gifts work on you," Kate said, a twinkle in her eyes. "I'll go first."
Bella crouched defensively as Kate neared her. She knew what Kate was capable of, had seen her shock her sisters on occasion. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of such a gift. Lightening quick, Kate snaked out her hand and grabbed Bella's wrist. She snarled, twisted her hand out of Kate's grasp, and grabbed hold of Kate's forearm with her other hand.
"Very good," Kate said. "I'm guessing you didn't feel that?"
"You shocked me?" Bella asked, her breath still coming raggedly.
Kate nodded, murmuring yes. "If Edward can't get into your head, chances are Z isn't going to get anywhere, but we might as well give it a go."
Zafrina's lip curled upward at the casual nickname Kate used. It shocked Bella how much younger Kate seemed than Tanya. Even her speech was more modern than her sister's.
That would be a question for later. Zafrina stepped forward, and Bella straightened her shoulders. Zafrina's talents were difficult to describe; the only thing Bella was certain of was that Zafrina could make a person see anything she wanted them to see. She'd overheard a story about how Zafrina had made another vampire go mad before she killed him, all because he'd mistreated one of her sisters. The vampire, Joham, sounded awful and it seemed like he deserved his fate, but the story was frightening all the same.
Zafrina's eyes narrowed in concentration, a dark line appearing in the caramel skin between her eyes. Bella knew that the other vampire must be trying to make her see something that wasn't there, but nothing had changed. She looked around, and they were still in the great basin with the white rocks and decaying moss. Zafrina gave a grunt of disappointment before her burgundy eyes flitted away from Bella.
"Her shield is too strong," she murmured in her thick, lilting accent.
"Now to test you," Kate said with a smirk.
Bella was impressed with the way she was able to deflect the one on one attacks. It was so much easier to see movement now that she was an immortal; she could see every part of someone's movement, analyze it, and adjust for it with ease. As time progressed and Bella became more comfortable with her defensive moves, they began coordinating against her. Throughout the sparring match, Bella used her gift to her advantage, seeing how she was able to disappear and reappear at key moments in the battle.
"Ha!" Bella exclaimed, reappearing as she landed behind Kate with her hand on the older vampire's chin and her teeth inches from Kate's throat.
"Very, very good, Bella," Kate exclaimed as Bella released her.
"I want to know more of your shield," Zafrina said, eyeing Bella steadily.
The Amazonian cocked her head to the side, blood-red eyes boring into Bella as she considered. Bella felt a sense of unease growing within her, not that she would be personally threatened, but that she would be tested beyond anything she had ever experienced before. She expected questions about her gift, about how she was able to disappear and reappear — questions that Bella didn't have answers for. Without any warning, Zafrina turned her eyes up to where Tanya was sitting. Despite the darkness, Bella could see the disorientation on Tanya's face immediately. She didn't move, but she looked around and Bella was certain that she was no longer seeing the ravine.
"What are you doing?" Bella asked.
"I — no. It cannot be." Tanya's voice was small and shaky and frightened.
Kate, who was standing closer to Zafrina than Bella, growled lowly in warning, but Zafrina ignored her. Bella crouched, waiting to see what Tanya would do next.
"No … it has been centuries. How could you — why do you — Mother?"
Kate let out a murderous scream and launched herself at Zafrina. Kate looked as though she would make it, that she would be able to get her hands on the Amazonian vampire to make her stop whatever she was doing to Tanya, but before she could, Zafrina held up her hand, and Kate froze in mid run. Her golden eyes went glassy as she looked around herself, confused. Bella didn't know if she was seeing the same vision as Tanya or if it was different.
Tanya's face, so far above them, broke Bella's dead heart. If a vampire could cry, Bella imagined this is what it would look like. She sat, stretching out her hand to something just out of her reach. The pain on her face was palpable, and Bella wanted to stop it. She raced up the hill, and she thought she heard Zafrina murmur "yes."
Bella threw her arms around Tanya and willed her shield around both of them. She grunted with the effort of pulling it around another body, but she knew when she had been successful. Tanya gasped and looked at her with wide, bewildered eyes. Almost immediately, Bella heard a loud crash below them and Kate's snarling voice asking what Zafrina had done with Bella and Tanya.
"But they are there," Zafrina said calmly. "Bella, it is over. Show yourself."
Tanya had clearly recovered from the shock of seeing whatever Zafrina had showed her. "It's okay, my friend. Pull back your shield."
Bella sighed in satisfaction when she allowed the shield to snap back into place. Kate leapt off of Zafrina and stared in a mixture of horror and wonder at Bella and Tanya. For the first time, Bella saw the stoic, Amazonian vampire smiling.
"That was very, very good, little one," she murmured. "Now you see that there may be no limits to what your shield can do."
And in an instant, Bella realized the magnitude of what Zafrina had taught her. Not only could her shield protect her, but it could protect another as well.
It could also conceal another.
And an idea began to form.
A/N: Hi! Those of you who follow me on Twitter know where I've been for the past 6 weeks. For those of you who don't, let me briefly fill you in. I decided at the last minute to participate in NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writer's Month. Basically, you are challenged to write 50,000 words in one month (November). I wasn't going to participate, but about a week and half before it kicked off, I got a killer idea for a novel and thought … why not? Anyway, I did it. I wrote more than 50K in November and decided to keep up with my momentum to try and finish my novel. I'm happy to report that, in the space of 6 weeks, I finished an 80K first draft of my first novel. I'm not done by any means – there is still loads of editing to do – but I have a first draft to work with and that, to me, is such a blessing. It was a hard choice to focus solely on original work, knowing I was leaving you all waiting, but all of you who contacted me via PM or Twitter were so very supportive. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate that. I'm taking about three to four weeks break from my original manuscript before going back for edits. In that time, I hope to finish up TFP and get my next fic starting to post. Those of you who donated to Fandom for Texas will have a head start on that fic. It's an All Human story titled Butterflies are Free to Fly. It won't start posting until it is complete, so even when I get back to edits, you won't have to wait for chapters.
Sorry for the long A/N. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. See you in about a week and a half for the next! ~Jen