Let The Ricks Fall Where They May

Written by Kat_Aclysm
Rated: - T for language

Disclaimers + Copyrights: Rick and Morty is an Adult Swim cartoon by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. This is unofficial fanfiction.

NOTE: Heyo! Sorry this chapter is quite late but the content and plot in this and the next one has been brutal to construct. I'll try to get the next one out in a timely manner but if you want updates in the meantime, silly R&M-styled drawings that correlate to this story, or even just to talk/ask me questions, you can find me over on Tumblr at RickAndMortyByKat :) I promise I haven't abandoned this and don't intend to either. As always, please leave a review if you like what I got. Thanks for the amazing support you guys keep giving me. It's awesome and keeps me motivated to write.

Pretty sweet ride as long as you can hold on
Here right now, going, it's gone

The signal and the noise,
The pieces of the world they'll find
The echo of a choice
The static that you leave behind
It's better than solid state

- Solid State (Reprise) - Jonathan Coulton

Chapter 26 – Countdown To Rickxtinction

December 2nd, 3:51pm , Local Ship Time, 2001
Unnamed Nebula, Space
'Verdant Harbinger', Dimension Q-316

"You goddamn traitor, C-711!" Ricktus howled in angry declaration. "Riq IV is going to hear about this!"

The gravity of Surgeon Rick's actions were creeping in on him – he'd just punched his boss in the face. Although they'd endured more than their fair share of disagreements in the past, it had never ended in physical aggression before. While he knew there would be consequences to his actions, he just couldn't deny how satisfying it had felt. "It's been a long time comin'," he clasped his hands together and cracked his knuckles to emphasize his words. "Do you need me to hit you again? Because if I gotta knock some sense into you, then I guess that's how it's gonna have to be."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't," Ricktus glared up at his assistant as he rubbed his jaw; that one was going to leave a bruise. "I-I don't get you... your behavior is completely insane! If you let Rick B-526 out, then we are both going to die. Don't you realize that?!"

"Please. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already." Rick growled, his expression turning dark. "Though you gotta admit, now you've given me a couple of good reasons. I'm not gonna forget what you said about Morty in a hurry!"

Surgeon Rick turned to glare at him. "Yo, shut up. You're not helping." He stood beside his boss and offered out a hand to demonstrate that he was still on his side. "Are you done being an asshole? C'mon, think about it... why would the Council invite a murderous Rick to join the Citadel? Aside from the fact that he fuckin' hates them, it'd be like throwing a cat among the pigeons. The big boss is a lot of things, but he's not stupid," his eyes were on Rick again, "and it's not like you got many other options right now."

Ricktus lightly smacked his hand away and got back up on his own. "Unfortunately, you're right... I don't know what's out there or what they what they want from us, but we can't abandon ship. There's too many valuable things on board they can steal and exploit."

"Are they the same dudes who fucked everything up before? Maybe they've just come back to finish the job?" Surgeon Rick wondered. "Though if they want in that bad, they should have knocked first. Barging your way in is pretty inconsiderate, bro."

"Now is not a good time for your clever mouth, C-711." Ricktus sighed. "I'd never really considered being invaded before, I thought we were too far into deep space. We need some kind of strategy. Maybe we should try negotiation?"

"I dunno about that," Surgeon Rick sounded skeptical now. "It doesn't exactly sound like they're interested in talking." He paused in thought. "Wait, how much sensitive shit do you stand to lose anyway? You said the Council is sending guards, right? Can't we just ask for more of them to help move all the shit?"

"Ugh... it would take weeks to clear out, even with every active member of the guard helping us." Ricktus buried his face in his hands; the thought of co-ordinating such a large moving operation was somewhat overwhelming. "I could send a distress signal to the Council and ask them to teleport the entire ship to another dimension, but I don't think they'd care to move quickly enough. Even then, we don't have the luxury of waiting for them... it's already too late. All we can do now is either enter into negotiations with our new contact, or hold the ship down and hope the hive's natural defense instincts are enough to stop them."

The deep boom of a far off explosion could be heard, which was followed by a violent shockwave that rattled and shuddered the entire ship's very framework. It threw both Ricktus and Surgeon Rick off their feet, but Rick held onto the bars of his cell and managed to ride it out, suddenly quite thankful for the fact that Morty wasn't on board.

"Does THAT sound like something you can negotiate with?!" The scientist angrily quipped. "You're not going to get anything done if you keep wasting time here! Let me out already!"

The words did not register. Instead, Ricktus just dumbly sat where he had fallen, his eyes widening as if going into shock. His posture went rigid like a statue and he was unable to speak, unable to move, or do anything. His breathing became shallow and erratic as his mind pulled him into the memory of what had happened the last time he'd encountered such noises and although he knew it was completely irrational, he couldn't seem to make it stop.

Surgeon Rick smacked a hand against his forehead and groaned; the timing couldn't have been worse. "Get your shit together!" He gave him an aggressive shove and stood up again. "How do I open the cell?"

No response.

"Whatever, dude..." Surgeon Rick returned to inspecting the bars but found a way through this time; the locking mechanism had been warped in the last set of vibrations and he easily forced the door open. "There you go, now quit your whining!" He quickly instructed Rick. "What the hell are we supposed to do, bro? Help us out here!"

Right then and there, Rick knew he should be running as fast and far away as possible; if Morty was safe on Bird World then there was literally no reason to stick around. He could have easily knocked the surgeon out, or taken advantage of the doctor's catatonic state to steal either one of their portal guns, but the thought caused him to hesitate. As he moved beyond the confines of his cell, his gaze shifted back and forth from one to the other and he realized just how pathetic they really were. When he noticed that Surgeon Rick was staring at him attentively as if awaiting instructions, he gave a quiet resigned sigh and pinched his brow in irritation.

There was no conceivable reason why he should be helping either one of them and yet, there was just something wrong about leaving them behind.

"Fine..." He reluctantly conceded, though he already suspected he was going to regret it. "Get the moron up off the floor. First things first, we need to access the cameras you were looking at before and find out what we're dealing with. I just hope they don't have any plasma suppression bullshit because that was super inconvenient before."

Although Surgeon Rick wanted to know what he was talking about, the scientist was already walking off in the direction he had come in. All he could do was grab his boss by the arm and drag him along while he did his best to keep up through a limping gait. "Yo, wait up, asshole!"

He needn't have bothered; Rick was already slowing down as the pain under his ribs made its presence known again. He used an arm to cradle the right side of his abdomen and pushed through it as he led the way into the main corridors of the ship.

The sight they were met as they made their way back into the more familiar parts may as well have been the aftermath of an alien war zone; the ship had come alive with hundreds of angry bees to the backdrop of alert sirens. Some of them carried out repairs where they stood while others scurried off to unknown parts of the hive. The ceiling freely leaked bright-blue coolant from pipes that had been damaged in the onslaught, while rivulets of clear syrup bled down the walls and onto the floor.

"Well, damn... i-is there even anything worth saving?" Rick scowled. "You want a great way to stop your sensitive data and technology from being stolen? Blow it up. Your attackers can't steal anything if it's on fire."

The comment found its way through the haze of the doctor's mind and it brought him back to his senses. "...w-what?!" He choked out as he managed to scramble to his feet.

Rick stopped and turned to face him. "You know, kaboom," he made a mushroom cloud gesture with his free hand. "Make a violent chemical reaction."

"No... I know what you said, but," Ricktus paused; he was still having difficulty with his thoughts. "Y-you're not blowing up my ship!"

"Hey, you know what?" Surgeon Rick suddenly grinned. "I like the way this guy thinks. That would actually work, right?"

"Everything is flammable," Rick quickly reasoned through his outstanding thought. "The atmosphere, the shit the insects produce, hell... even the insects themselves are combustible, aren't they?"

"You're NOT blowing up my ship!" It was spoken with much more clarity and firmness this time.

"It's a great idea, bro." Surgeon Rick sounded far too happy. "I really like this plan!"

"It's fucking crazy!" Ricktus spat back. "I-I live here, you can't just set fire to everything! Damn it, maybe they don't even know we're here... we should talk to them first."

"I already tried that on you," Rick hissed at him. "Look what happened."

Ricktus gave the scientist a sharp huff. "I still stand by my decision. As soon as the guards arrive I'm handing you over. Why should I trust anything you have to say?" He glanced down at the 'pet' insect that had been obediently following them the whole time. "Fleur, what does the hive have to say about all of this? Do they have any idea what's going on?"

"War." The bee's collar chirped. "War and death and food."

"Holy shit, that thing can talk!?" Surgeon Rick yelped. "See, I told you they were smart!"

"They're smarter and more loyal than you ever were," the doctor's voice turned cold and bitter. "I don't expect you to understand them, but if you have any interest in saving the colony and everything else here, then I suggest you shut up and follow me to the terminal hub."

"Do you really think you can save this piece of shit?" Surgeon Rick pointed to the fresh damage along the roof as they passed under it. "I mean it's seen bad days, but it's not gonna be able to take another hit by the looks of it."

"It won't have to if we can get a communication link up to our new contact," the doctor bluntly replied. "If they're open to discussion, then perhaps they can be reasoned with."

"Are you dense? It's an exercise in futility!" Rick growled in frustration. "I've been in space long enough to know that if something's shooting at you, it's generally their objective to keep shooting at you. Do you think they're going to stop and sit down with you over coffee?!"

Ricktus whirled around and moved so close into his dimensional counterpart's personal space that their noses were almost touching. "I don't care if you've been in space long enough to see the whole damn universe, B-526." He jabbed him in the sternum with an index finger. "This place is all I have left and if I can do something to save it, then I will. Surely you of all people can understand that?"

Rick's expression was guarded as he used his free hand to push him away again; it had hurt and he didn't want him to know it. "You're just lucky we're heading for the same destination... because I have NO issues lighting this place up like a Christmas tree."

Ricktus straightened in his posture before continuing to move off down the corridor. "Let's hope the guards get here before that happens, hmm?" He nodded in Surgeon Rick's direction. "Do you still have your gun on you? Keep it close and be prepared to shoot the prisoner if necessary. Though, if you're still on that traitorous path and want to kill me instead, I don't give a fuck. I only ask you get it done quickly."

"So dramatic," Surgeon Rick rolled his eyes. "Get over yourself, huh? I'm not gonna kill you, bro. You're taking this too hard... you're acting like someone pushed over your goddamn block tower."

"Shut up, C-711." It was dispensed with no anger and only a vague hint of irritation.

It was the best response the surgeon could hope for, all things considered.

A distressed cry echoed throughout the walls of Birdperson's tree house. It stopped as its owner paused to draw in breath and then it began anew.

Squanchy had just come in to it from another one of his hunts. His first reaction was to cringe in pain while he moved to the main bedroom of the house to check out the source. There, he found Morty on the floor next to Birdperson's bed, flopped over and alternating between quietly sobbing to himself or screaming his head off.

Birdperson sat nearby, his feathers looking more frazzled than usual. He had no skill or knowledge in how to deal with an upset child and Morty hadn't stopped since his arrival. Since the little boy didn't want to be anywhere near him, Birdperson had left him to cry it out, figuring he'd get tired of it eventually.

That had been four hours ago.

The feathered male took one look at Squanchy and inclined his head to get his attention. "Help."

"How?" Squanchy bared his fangs. "Squanchin' hell, is that ever going to stop?"

"Perhaps," Birdperson answered simply, "I do not know."

"Is it hungry?" Squanchy wondered as he stood in front of the youngster. "Why is it even here?"

Birdperson wasted no time and got straight into it. "Rick is dead."

While the words certainly reached his ears, the feline creature still struggled with comprehending them. All he could do was stand there, slack-jawed and eyes wide, but only a dumb sound managed to come out of his mouth.

"Rick is dead," Birdperson said again, though if he felt anything he certainly wasn't showing it; his wings were rigid and his tone was as stoic as ever. "Now it is our job to nurture and guide his legacy."

"You don't... actually believe that, do ya?" Squanchy found his voice again. "Remember last time? Everyone thought he was dead, but you didn't. And then he came back just like you guessed." His tone became desperate. "Say it ain't so, BP!"

"It is different this time." Birdperson promptly explained. "The strange clone version of Rick dropped Morty off while you were away from the tree house. You were present for the conversation with Rick earlier, were you not? He said nothing, but I am left to believe that the clone was enacting upon the instructions he had given during that time. There can be no other explanation for Morty being delivered here."

"Well, great..." Squanchy's ears drooped to match his mood and he cast his gaze in the direction of the crying youngster. "What the squanch are we even gonna do with him? What about the Feds, man? We were supposed to be flying out any day now!"

"I am not certain. It would not be wise to depart and join in with the resistance's second wave of attack until I have decided with to do with Morty." Birdperson waved a hand down in the little boy's direction. "I did not observe Rick long enough to learn how to deal with this effectively, so all we can do for the time being is stay and wait for him to adapt to us. Right now he is afraid and uncertain of his surroundings. This behavior is completely understandable."

Morty watched the movement in the corner of his eye and promptly scooted back from the strange feathery person, wanting to get away as far as possible. Even though he knew where he was, he still didn't want to be there; he wanted Rick. The thought made him begin screaming all over again.

The noise was like a sledgehammer straight to the feline creature's sensitive eardrums. "Oh god, make it stop... make it stop!" His tail thrashed behind him in agitation and he covered his ears with his paws. "Make it STOP!"

Morty's attention had been diverted just long enough to quieten him and he tentatively reached a hand out towards the flicking tail fur. Once he'd grabbed onto it, he stuffed it into his mouth and was finally silent.

"What the squanch?!" Squanchy yelped. "What are you doing that for?"

Birdperson quickly raised a hand to stop him. "Stay where you are. I do not know why that is working, but keep doing it."

Squanchy sighed in exasperation but did as he was told; they had a long way to go.

It was apparent that a fire had broken out when the trio finally arrived in the terminal hub; a copious quantity of flame retardant foam dripped from the sprinkler system overhead and coated a large section of computers in the back corner of the room. Although it had since been put out, the offensive smell of burnt electronics and plastic still lingered in the air along with latent smoke and heat.

Ricktus fanned a hand out in front of him as he made his way over to his workstation, opened a portal, and then began throwing the contents of his drawers straight into it.

"Didn't you say the shit here would take weeks to clear out, boss? If so, isn't what you're doing kinda pointless?" Surgeon Rick raised the questions before coughing; the fumes clearly weren't doing anything good for him. "Things were never this bad before... I dunno how much longer the ship can take it."

"Nonsense," the doctor curtly returned, "I just need to tidy up. This can all be repaired if it's well handled. It's not irrecoverable... it's merely a setback."

"Denial," Surgeon Rick loudly coughed again, though this time it was deliberate. "I get that it's an important part of the coping process, but damn yo, you got it bad."

"Shut up and open a communication link. Above all else, I need to know where Rick D-491's portal gun went. If our enemies get a hold of it and the Council finds out, who knows what they'll do to me..." Ricktus became more frantic and launched his entire bottom drawer into the open vortex. "Shit, where is it!?"

Although Surgeon Rick kind of wanted to tell him, he knew it would only create further tension between them. He instead diverted his attention towards the nearest terminal and began carrying out the instructions he'd been given. "How do you know these fuckers even speak our language? What happens if they end up screaming at us in some weird alien dialect?"

Rick just stood there and watched on; he saw no reason to intervene and as long as the doctor was out of the way and distracted then he didn't care what he did. "Can you bring up the surveillance you were looking at before?" He asked the surgeon as he pulled up a chair beside him. "Maybe they have an obvious weak spot we can exploit."

"Yeah, have fun with that," Surgeon Rick reached across to the computer beside him and tapped a singular button on the side of the monitor. "It sounds like some cheap plot gimmick out of a 70s space opera movie."

The images that came on the screen were confusing at first; the front of the ship was still facing the gaseous nebula it had been sailing through, but the rest of the live video feed told a different story entirely. The back end appeared to be jammed in some kind of steel-grey docking station and as the scientist flicked through the rest of cameras, the situation became more clear.

They weren't being boarded at all; they were being abducted.

Rick was about to comment on his observations, but then he caught a glimpse of their new alien neighbors as an armored group of them patrolled through their own dock; backwards bending clawed buggy limbs, olive-green segmented bodies complete with fly-like wings, danglers on their lower and midsections, and red compound soulless eyes that he would never forget for as long as he lived.

Gromflomites.

"Oh, you gotta be fucking KIDDING me..."

At first, Rick could only stare blankly at the screen. Then, he threw his head back and howled with maddening unhinged laughter, actually having to hold himself around the middle while he did so. He was so caught up in it that he didn't even notice the other two Ricks had stopped what they were doing to closely watch him.

"Are you... OK over there, bro?" Surgeon Rick blinked in confusion, then glanced at the screen for himself to discover what all the fuss was about.

"Holy hell," Rick managed to wheeze through another laugh. "What did you do to piss THEM off?! I-I thought I was bad, but shit... a planet-sized ship? That's gotta be their entire species out there, o-or most of it. You are SO screwed in the worst possible way!"

The surgeon chose to let him go and continued to search the screen for an answer. While the imagery of the aliens was lost on him, the ship's predicament was not. "Oh damn, son... now what do we do?"

The question knocked Rick out of his reverie. "Fucking. DESTROY. THEM." He declared through gritted teeth. "A-and don't stop until every last one of them is dead! They're not gonna be open to civil discussion or negotiation. They'll just take what they want and fuck over anyone else standing in their way!"

Ricktus came up to stand behind Rick's chair in order to look at the same screen as his dimensional counterparts. Although he managed to keep his expression completely neutral, the silence that followed suggested he was anything but happy with the discovery. "...well, this doesn't bode well. If they're anything like the ones in your reports to the Council, then it doesn't put us in a very good position."

"You think?!" Rick angrily spat out the words. "About the only thing you got going for you is that you can brag about having TWO intergalactic dictator factions in your dimension for the price of one-"

"Shut up, B-526." Ricktus had grown tired of listening to him. "How goes the communication link, C-711?"

Surgeon Rick didn't respond; he was completely preoccupied with sifting through channels while he clutched a microphone he had plugged into the computer he was working on. After finding several frequencies of local static, the air was filled with the screeches of alien music. "Huh... I guess they have radio stations? I wonder what their TV shows are like?"

"Give me that," Ricktus snatched the microphone away and began broadcasting with it. "This is the Verdant Harbinger, call-sign is, uh... I can't even remember. Whatever. Point is, this is my ship and you're in my space. We didn't do anything to you, so... disengage." He shrugged his shoulders; while he'd never actually prepared for anything like this before, he figured it sounded good enough.

It obviously attracted the intended recipient's attention, because the computers around the room crackled with heavy interference. Once an appropriate broadcasting channel was found, all the screens were jammed with the same video image. The bug-green commander that appeared on the monitor in front of them actually seemed surprised that there were still live occupants on board the ship.

"Well, hey there! Say, you're not a member of the alliance, are you?" He sounded far too friendly and upbeat. "This is super awkward, but... sorry about the mishap before, it was just business. No hard feelings, right?"

"Let's make one thing clear... I'm not one of them." Ricktus spoke with such firm conviction that it wasn't questioned. "However, this ship and everything in it belongs to me. You could say I inherited it after the previous owners' untimely demise, but look, this whole thing is stupid. I don't want anything to do with you, so go away and leave us alone."

"Oh, I can't do that," the alien commander's voice was suddenly stern and business-like as he jabbed the camera lens with one of the clawed claspers on his hand. "You see, you have a deadly weapon on board. I'm going to need you to give it to me, so... if you don't, then I'm afraid we're going to have to blow you up for real this time. Sorry about that!"

"Deadly weapon?" As Ricktus repeated the words under his breath in the attempt to make sense of them, his tone remained stone cold, not wanting to give his thoughts away. "Phh... if that's all you want, I'm willing to make a trade. Maybe you have something I want in return?"

The Gromflomite went silent. Several undecipherable things were hastily mumbled to him from off the left side of the camera and he nodded at each one. "The diplomats find this agreeable. You can have anything you want from us but no exchange will be made until the weapon is ours. Are we clear?"

"Perfectly." The doctor wanted to ask so much more, but merely flattened his brow.

"Great. That was too easy!" The Gromflomite commander sounded chipper all over again. "Bring it straight to our loading dock. In the meantime, we have to finish landing your garbage but we'll try to cause as little damage as possible... for now."

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Ricktus growled into the microphone but didn't receive a reply; the jammed communication signal had already been terminated. Within seconds, the loud groan of metal against metal was resumed as the entire ship was pulled further into the loading bay.

The ship's occupants experienced brief sensations of heaviness and floating while the ship's gravity generators were remotely hacked and disabled. After it was done, the gravity equalized again and the structure began to creek in protest; it had been built in space and obviously wasn't designed to withstand its own weight.

"Man, you know what? Fuck this whole thing... they make it sound like they've already won." Surgeon Rick frowned. "What the hell are you thinking, boss? Talk to us here. Are you seriously gonna risk negotiating with them?"

"I gotta say, I'm with the dipshit on this one." Rick pointed to the surgeon with the thumb of his free hand. "Did you get a look at your surveillance camera footage? They say size isn't doesn't matter, but damn... their ship's easily gotta be twenty times bigger than yours. As soon as you open the doors or give them any kind of access, they're gonna swarm in and pillage everything you own."

As Ricktus placed the microphone back down, his vaguely discontent expression relaxed. "You think I don't know that?" He turned his head down towards his pet insect and he became thoughtful. "But we have an entire army of angry predators at our disposal, and they're willing to defend the colony with their lives if it comes under attack."

"You think that's gonna help you?" Rick raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't take a genius to work out that you're outnumbered. I still say we trigger an explosion and portal outta here, i-it's not too late."

"What is with your obsession of wanting to blow everything up?!" Ricktus angrily threw his hands in the air. "We may actually stand to gain out of this and all you can think of is that? Not every solution involves destroying things!"

Rick was curious and attempted to sit up properly, but thought better of it when the sudden movement sent fresh spikes of pain through his midsection. "Y-you... you have another idea?"

"Sort of," the reply was instantaneous. "This gives us an opportunity to gather more intel on our enemy and learn how they differ from the ones that exist in other universes. I also want to know what this 'deadly weapon' is, though I have a sneaking suspicion that it's either something the previous owners used in their planetary conquest, the colony itself, or... us. I can't think of any other reason why they'd bother following us so readily into deep space."

"Fair theories," Rick admitted, not finding reason to argue. "But if it's us they want, then it means you can't give into their demands unless you're even more of a sadistic fuck than I thought you were. Do you have ANY idea what the Gromflomites do to their prisoners? I-I don't want to be too explicit, but let's just say it involves your genitals, electrified probes, and-"

"Relax," the doctor raised a hand to stop him, "I'd never hand myself or either of you over to the likes of them. My entire job exists to prevent that from happening." He rolled his eyes in disgust. "It's pretty obvious that they have no intention of letting us go, but I still want to meet with them and witness their arrogance for myself. If there's any chance of negotiation, we have to take it... I'll use the hive as backup. We might be outnumbered, but we're certainly not outmatched."

"It's a shitty idea," Rick shook his head. "You know every last one of the mindless drones out there knows how to work a laser blaster, right? Unless your stupid insects know how to do the same thing, then they're basically target practice. I say cut your losses and run while you can."

"I'm with the new guy," Surgeon Rick suddenly pointed to Rick; he'd been patiently listening through the whole conversation and finally decided to chime in. "Don't risk it, boss. Just take the safe route and get outta here."

"Yes, you've both made your opinions quite clear on this, but we're not voting on it because it isn't a democracy. This is my ship and we're doing it my way, so if you've gotten over your mutinous streak I could actually use you both as backup." Ricktus glared hard at one Rick, and then at the other. "If all else fails, then I might be open to... other ideas. I'd like to spend more time discussing it, but we can't keep our contact waiting."

"Promise?" Surgeon Rick enthusiastically sprang off his chair. "Because if you say something like that, you gotta follow through."

The doctor was unimpressed as he watched his assistant's movements. "Well, you still have the option of shooting me and doing whatever the hell you want."

"Hmm, lemme think about it," Surgeon Rick playfully elbowed his boss in the chest as he moved past him. "Just between us, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?"

Ricktus ignored him and turned his attention down towards Rick, having noticed he wasn't standing yet. "Get moving, B-526. You're still my prisoner, after all."

Rick merely huddled forwards in the chair.

"You're still feeling that bad? You should have gone back to your room like I told you to." As the other stood tall in front of Rick's chair, he adopted a posture of superiority. "If it's any consolidation, I can instruct the guards to send you straight to the Citadel infirmary when they come to take you away. Until then, get up off your ass and follow us."

"Oh, hey." Surgeon Rick suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Do you still have that bottle of, uh... stuff I gave you?"

"Y-yeah." Rick took it out and gave it a shake to demonstrate, then finished off the remaining contents without waiting for instructions.

"What the... that better not be what I think it is!" Ricktus stared at the bottle with a look of angry disbelief. "Where the hell did you get it?"

"Stole it," Surgeon Rick admitted with a casual shrug. "If my job is screwed, I might as well go through the rest of the confessions, yeah? I've been stealing your shit pretty much every day since I got here, and I've been growing kalaxian crystals inside the ventilation ducts. Oh, and you know those coffee cans that keep going missing? That was me too."

"I-it's pretty fucking obvious considering we're the only two people who work here! Consider yourself fired!" Ricktus stamped a foot on the ground in a childish rage. While wanted to lose it, he knew there were much more important things to attend to. "Fuck it," he dismissed it with a sharp wave and turned to head out of the terminal hub. "The damn Council can have both of you. Until then, if you have any decency left, you will shut up and help me try and get out of this mess."

Surgeon Rick thrust both fists in the air. "Fuck yeah, unemployment, bro! Let's go fuck up some shit!"

Ricktus stared back at him. "Your... your priorities are so messed up..."

The hinges of a maintenance hatch that hadn't been opened for many years groaned in protest as the atmospheric seals and locking pins moved out of position. As the ramp descended, torrents of syrup and dense atmospheric vapor spilled onto to the floor of the loading dock below.

The first one out was a member of the hive and while it wasn't shot at, more than a hundred laser sights were already trained on it by the time it was on the ground. A large group of more hybrid bee-insects cautiously scuttled out after it, and then the party of three followed behind them.

Surgeon Rick frowned when one of the laser sights was aimed straight between his eyes. "Wow, friendly reception. On a scale of one to fucked, where do you think we are right now?"

"Shut up," Ricktus grumpily replied, "I got this." A wide fake grin grew across his face as he traveled the rest of the way down the ramp and he raised both hands up in a peaceful gesture. "Come now, what kind of welcome is this? I thought we were exchanging goods and ideas, not preparing for a firefight."

Unsurprisingly, none of the armored drones said anything and merely parted to make way for their commander as he strolled through them.

This was the first time that Rick actually had a chance to see the size of ship from the outside. It would have stretched further than his visible vantage point if not for the fact it was too long to fit inside the loading dock it was now parked in; the doors it had been dragged through were now sealed around it and partially crushed the front half, pinning it down like a vice. Years of interstellar skirmishes had also scarred what armor plating he could see and large chunks of space debris were still embedded in the hull. If the reason the Gromflomites had called it 'garbage' wasn't obvious before, it was now; it looked like little more than beaten up space trash.

While the other ships in the area were more or less standard fare for what normally existed in the Gromflomite's fleet, something in particular had caught the scientist's gaze. Affixed to the far wall was a wide glass column that ran vertically from ceiling to floor, and there was so much raw energy coursing through it that was being used as a light source. It didn't seem to serve any functional purpose for the ships surrounding it, but it had to have some major significance as it was just too out of place to ignore.

Further inspection of the loading bay revealed that they were completely shut in. There was no obvious way to escape and the Gromflomites must have known it themselves for they had dispatched a fairly light number of armed forces this time around. Of course, Rick knew that the situation could escalate at any given moment, yet chose to say nothing and hung around in the back to continue silently observing.

"Oh wow, you're bipedal mammals," the uniformed commander did not hide his surprise as he scrutinized the three spiky haired males standing nearby. "Are they still killing each other over primitive resources? The alliance must have been really desperate to bother collaborating with the tiny ball of water and dirt you come from."

"They didn't," Ricktus hastily responded, not really wanting to get into it. "Look, do you want to chat or do you want to trade? Because I'm not handing anything over until I see something I like."

"Oh, that all depends on what you want, now doesn't it." The Gromflomite commander's mouth-parts eagerly flapped as he spoke. "Do you have the weapon? I don't see it."

The doctor extended his left arm and his pet insect hybrid sprang up onto it, taking care not injure her master with her chitinous armored claws. "You dragged the whole ship in here, so technically you have it already, don't you?"

The Gromflomite commander was displeased and all civilities were dropped. "That's not what I asked. Did you bring the weapon or not?"

The doctor deliberately kept his expression calm. "I brought some of the hive along if you wanted them. I can't guarantee their loyalty and it'll take me time to grow you a new queen, but-"

"We do not have a queen," Fleur's collar happily squawked over him. "We operate on a beneficial autocracy."

"Oh really?" Ricktus hadn't expected the bee to run her mouth off like that, but maybe she always had; she just never had the translator to decipher her buzzing into words before. "If you don't have a queen, then how does the hive function? Who's your leader?"

"You are, maker."

"I don't want your dumb bugs, mammal." the Gromflomite commander said the word as if it were an insult. "I want the weapon we came for. Bring it to me or I will blast you out of existence."

"Whoa, and there it is. Called it!" Surgeon Rick happily thrust a fist in the air.

"Shut up!" Ricktus snapped, finally losing his patience. "Look, I didn't take part in the alliance-whatever mass planetary genocide thing... is that what you're after? Because I didn't even know about it until a few hours ago. Why don't you just describe this damn weapon to me? I don't know what it looks like."

"Oh, I think you do," the commander rested his arms behind his back. "Do you expect me to believe you haven't seen it? It's impossible to miss. You see, we've been trying to track it down since the day you escaped from us. At first it was nothing to worry about, but now it's grown into something that has the potential to destroy us and possibly the entire galaxy. There's nothing else quite like it, it's..." he casually paced across the floor as he tried to put his thoughts into words. "Some kind of super intelligent bioweapon."

Even though he'd seen it coming, Ricktus still felt an uneasiness growing in the pit of his stomach as his speculations were turned into fact; the 'weapon' was indeed them. The timing of the first attack suddenly made sense - it directly correlated with his arrival on the ship and now they had returned for the same reason. He knew he should have listened to the other Ricks behind him, but he just couldn't let the ship go. As he silently regarded the insect hybrid still on his arm, they exchanged a wordless understanding; even though her eyes were unblinking and expressionless, she seemed to pick up on the same thing he was thinking.

There was no turning back and she was the one trick he had left up his sleeve. Literally.

"You're welcome to go up there and look for yourself," the doctor slowly motioned towards the hatch behind him. "I just need some kind of guarantee that you'll let us go after you find what you need."

"No need," came the blase reply from the commander. "If you don't cooperate, we'll just kill you and take it anyway."

"See, I called that too," Rick grumpily stated. "Why are we doing this again? O-oh that's right, because you made us... are you satisfied now? Can we go? I'm kinda bored and I wanna get back to Morty."

"Oh, you're not leaving. You were never going to." As the Gromflomite commander took out his blaster, the armed drones behind him retrained their laser sights on the group. "We always knew mammals were greedy, but we didn't know you were gullible too. We didn't even have to think of any clever bait to draw you out of your hiding place and now you're just willingly standing there. Any last words?"

"Yeah, actually," Rick's tone suggested that he wasn't the least bit perturbed or surprised by the turn of events. "What's that thing all about?" He pointed to the glowing glass tube he had seen earlier.

"Oh, that?" The commander turned his head towards it and actually sounded proud as he began to explain. "That's the energy conduit to our ecosystem killer. Yeah, fire up that baby on the surface of any terrestrial planet and boom, it turns everything into instant stardust."

Rick seethed with a silent rage; it had been spoken like it was nothing at all. He would have blown the commander's head clean off his shoulders if not for the fact that he was unarmed.

In the short time that followed, he didn't even have to. While the commander was distracted, Fleur abused the opportunity to whip out her curled proboscis and snatch the plasma blaster from his clawed claspers. Before he could even react, it was secure in her mandibles and she dumped more than half the clip straight into his skull.

The corpse hadn't even hit the ground before the loading bay erupted into a frenzy of plasma beam fire and insects of opposing species trying to destroy each other. Rick was knocked down and partially crushed under the protective weight of the surrounding hive members who had chosen to shield him. He barely had time to push one off as he was splattered with inky-purple insect guts; one of the Gromflomite drones that was flying directly over his head was crushed in the vice of a bee's scythe claws and after determining her prey was dead, she busied herself with dismembering the corpse and devouring its head.

"I guess that answers your question, Rick!" Ricktus jeered at him from his own place on the floor. "Looks like they DO know how to work the laser blasters. Hah, look at them go!"

"That's a pretty fucked up thing to be happy about, boss!" Surgeon Rick called back to him. "Do you wanna spend that time discussing what we're supposed to do now?"

"We might want to consider sitting this one out." Ricktus picked a stray plasma blaster off a corpse and stuffed it into the waiting mouth of one of the bees. "You're always wanting to chill. Now's a good time."

It was hard to tell who was winning; while the Gromflomite drones had tactical advantage at range, they were still nothing but fodder to the bee's scythes once they were in close proximity. The bees themselves were also highly adaptive; after watching how their hive sibling held the weapon she was given, more of them took up arms to copy her. Just as their numbers started dwindling, another wave of them of surged from the ship's maintenance hatch to join the fight.

"You seriously wanna stay here?!" Rick angrily brushed bits of exoskeleton and bug guts out of his hair. "It's only a matter of time before-"

Although he never got to finish, the very thing he meant to say was already happening; the back of the loading bay had opened up and hundreds more armed reinforcements began pouring in. They immediately opened fire and the entire loading bay turned into yet another heated skirmish. However, this time the bees were not at a disadvantage and they fired the Gromflomite's own weapons back on them. The ones in close range had gone into a murderous frenzy and it was very apparent that their scythe claws made them the superior insect; any unfortunate drones who managed to get caught in their swing were butchered like flies.

"Oh shit..." The rising panic was clearly audible in Surgeon Rick's voice as he lay flat against the floor. "Can we run now...?"

"Yeah," Ricktus was distracted; he seemed far more interested in watching the brutality of his own creations. "Head back into the ship. It's not a good option, but we'll be safer there."

His pet bee wiggled impatiently from her spot on the ground nearby; she wanted to join her sisters. "Can I stay here and hunt more food?"

"No, Fleur." Ricktus sighed at her. "Follow us. I might need you to co-ordinate the rest of the hive."

Fortunately for all of them, the Gromflomites were completely preoccupied with the bees while they retreated across the loading bay and back up the ship's ramp. Unfortunately for Surgeon Rick, his ankle slowed him to the rear of the group and he caught a stray plasma round in the right shoulder. It struck him with such force that it sent him barreling off his feet and he hit the ramp with a hard metallic thud, the contents of his scrubs spilling out onto the loading bay below. His datapad, two vials of injectable solution, and his portal gun scattered straight off the edge and into the middle of the heated crowd.

"Son of a BITCH!" He howled, though it was difficult to tell if it was because of the pain or because he'd just lost something so vitally important.

Ricktus reacted instinctively; he whipped out his own datapad and remotely activated the portal gun's self-destruct mechanism. "Get in the ship." After stuffing the device back into his coat, he grabbed the first flailing limb he could get his hands on and began awkwardly hauling his assistant the rest of the way up the ramp.

Rick rolled his eyes and grabbed another leg to help out. "You're really bad at not getting shot, aren't you?"

Surgeon Rick didn't reply; he was too busy writhing in agony while he desperately clutched at his shoulder in protest to the searing pain tearing through it.

While some of the drones had stopped fighting to inspect the new device in their loading bay, it didn't last very long; the portal gun's self-destruct timer finished counting down and the plasma core destabilized, collapsing in on itself. There was a brief implosion, which was followed by a violent explosion of green and white light and everything standing in its immediate proximity was instantly vaporized.

Satisfied with the result, Ricktus activated the mechanism to shut and lock the maintenance hatch again. "Don't be so careless next time, C-711. The Council's going to be pissed about that one." He moved to crouch down beside him. "Quit your whining and sit up so I can look at it."

Surgeon Rick hissed with considerable discomfort, but did as he was told. "T-to be fair, the Council is pissed about most things..."

After spending a few minutes poking and prodding the affected area, the doctor stood at his full height again. "It's just a plasma burn. You're going to need medical attention and pain relief, but it's relatively superficial. You're making a big fuss over nothing."

"F-fuck... easy for you to say," Surgeon Rick grumpily returned, "YOU try dealing with it!"

"I've been there before, you'll be fine." Rick shrugged. "So what now? You DO realize we're sitting ducks here, right? Unless you have some kind of miraculous plan involving forcing the entire ship through the tiny hole they've jammed it in, you're basically screwed... and while I'm sure there's a joke in that somewhere, I can't be bothered to make it. Ugh, whatever. Can you even pilot this stupid ship all by yourself?"

"No, but I'll figure something out," the doctor sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Just need time..."

"You don't HAVE any!" Rick very much wanted to smack him upside the head. "Oh, you done did it now... aside from not giving them what they want, now you've murdered one of their leaders and pissed them off too! Your ship's trapped, you moron! There's no way you're getting it out of here in one piece, let alone any. What's so great about it that you're willing to risk dying trying to save it?"

"Y-yeah, what are you holding onto so bad?" Surgeon Rick looked up at him. "Give it up, man... there's nothing here for you any more."

"You don't understand! Neither of you do..." Ricktus turned his back on them. "I can't leave. This place is my main source of income and the Council needs us to keep carrying out the work we do here. I-I still haven't even finished what I came here to do in the first place!"

"Let it go already, it's a lost cause." Rick growled in frustration. "Even if you'd had advance warning, your chances of escaping with the ship intact still would have been shitty at best. The Gromflomites are gonna fuck you up in every way possible unless you do something about it. Are you really that stubborn that you're gonna risk giving them the opportunity to steal all your shit just because of something you want?"

"No, but," Ricktus hesitated; he saw the logic in the scientist's words, but was still heavily conflicted. "I need the ship... even without the cloning tanks, I need this place to earn enough money for... well..."

"Dude," Surgeon Rick interjected. "We get it. You know the Council can assign you another job, right? There's other ways to get what you want. Just let it go, man, everything's gonna be OK."

"But... what about the colony? What happens to them?"

Surgeon Rick frowned; he did not have an answer.

As if on cue, a loud hammering began from the maintenance hatch door. The sound of metal ringing against metal could be heard as the door was repeatedly battered from the outside.

Ricktus lowered his head and just stood there, staring at the floor. After several moments of internal deliberation, he pinched his brow and heaved a deep resigning sigh. "If you did light it up, hypothetically speaking... how would you do it?"

Rick turned his head to glower out the nearest window, his attention back on the glowing plasma conduit in the loading bay. "I got a couple of ideas, but I'm gonna need your ship's schematics. What kind of engine does it have?"

"A crappy combustion engine, powered by a seriously outdated cold fusion reactor," Ricktus quietly answered, "I was developing a new fuel source before we were attacked. Its the whole reason the hive exists."

"Yeah, I already read that stuff in your stupid diary," Rick grumbled. "Well, it's not amazing, but I can make it work. So are you with me? You wanna help make a bomb?"

The only answer he received was silence. When he realized both Ricks were staring at him with blank unknowing expressions on their faces, he smacked a hand against his forehead and loudly groaned.

"Great... of all the Ricks in the multiverse, I had to get stuck with the two idiots who don't even know how to build a goddamn incendiary device... j-just fucking wonderful!"