I Remember Love
A Becoming Jane-story
By: jakeline
Summary: The story begins after the opera, the year is 1814, Jane and Tom have met again. They begin questioning their actions and choices in the past (i.e. from the time they met in 1795 and forward).This is what could have happened if the movie had not ended.
Disclaimer: I do not own Jane Austen, Tom Lefroy or any other character in this story. Facts are taken from the Becoming Jane Fansite.
Author's note: I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer to be finished, but a lot is happening in my life at the moment. Keep the reviews coming, I love them!
Part 26: In which Mary's dying wish is the topic of conversation
July 1814
"I am sure there is nothing to worry about," said Jane Lefroy to Miss Austen as they watched her father leave the room with her grandparents. Miss Austen however did not look convinced.
"You are probably right," replied Miss Austen at length and tried to smile. Jane wondered what her mother had written in that letter that had upset her grandparents so. By the look of the glances at Miss Austen, Jane suspected her mother had written about her wish for Miss Austen to take her place as her father's wife.
Jane was sure her mother's will would be done eventually. After the appropriate amount of time and mourning she was sure Miss Austen would stand as her father's bride. She had noticed how they were often found together in deep conversation. Her father seemed to seek her out more often than before. She supposed Miss Austen was the only one who could comfort him.
"I better go see to my siblings," Jane said and rose.
"Yes," Miss Austen replied with a faint smile as she rose as well. Jane watched as Miss Austen left the room with heavy steps. She so hoped that everything would turn out for the best and that her grandparents saw how much Miss Austen was needed in their life. Jane promised herself to try to show that to them during their stay.
Her younger brothers had really started to rely on Miss Austen and went to her for comfort rather than their older sisters and brother. Miss Austen was the one that turned their beds and tucked them in at night and also the one that greeted them at the breakfast table every morning. She had really stepped in as their surrogate mother. Where their father had been absent Miss Austen had been present. For that Jane was glad. She did not know how she would have gotten through the last week if it had not been for Miss Austen.
-xxx-
Tom watched Mary's parents cautiously. He suspected that Mary had written about her want for him to marry Miss Austen in her letter to them. He could well understand their shocked faces. He hoped that they would not be too hard on him. They seemed to like Jane well enough at least. He could not imagine what was going through their head at that moment.
He led them into his study and sat down behind his desk after showing them the two chairs in front of the desk.
"Are you aware of what our daughter is suggesting in her letter?" started Mr Paul and turned his dark blue eyes to Tom. Mr Paul had a stern look on his face.
"I have a hunch," Tom said with a forced smile.
"Do you intend to honour her wishes?" Mr Paul demanded to know. Tom wondered what his father in law wanted to hear. Either way his answer would show disrespect to his late wife.
"You have not promised Miss Austen anything, I am sure," stated Mrs Paul. Tom sighed.
"Mary asked Miss Austen to come here to take care of me and the family after she was gone," replied Tom. He could hear Mrs Paul's shocked gasp for air."It was her dying wish, no?"
"And you intend to take Miss Austen as your wife?" Mr Paul's eyes had gone cold.
"How can I deny Mary's her dying wish?" Tom looked haplessly at Mary's parents.
"Have you no regard for our daughter?" Mrs Paul sobbed.
"You know I have nothing but the highest regard for Mary!" cried Tom heatedly. "And believe me when I say I tried to make her change her mind. But she would not listen. I told her how inappropriate it would be." He felt the tears burn in his eyes. He could not believe they dared question his love for their daughter.
"Where does Miss Austen stand in all this? I am sure she is much too sensible to fall for a dying woman's wishes?" said Mrs Paul.
"I cannot answer for Miss Austen, you will have to ask her yourself," Tom sighed. What ever he said now it was sounding wrong as soon as the words left his mouth. He was confused and sad over the fact that Mary's parents took Mary's dying wish so lightly.
"Are you marrying Miss Austen?" Mrs Paul demanded to know. Tom felt a tear slipping down his cheek.
"Yes," he whispered meekly. The Pauls' eyes dilated in shock. "Mary asked me to. She wanted me to marry Miss Austen." He heard how meek it sounded as soon as the words left his mouth. "It has nothing to do for my disregard or me not loving Mary. I do love Mary with all my heart! I am honouring her dying wish. Why cannot you see I do it in regard for her?" he begged them to understand.
"And Miss Austen? She has accepted?" Mr Paul said with a dumbfounded look on his face.
"Yes, she has accepted me."
"You cannot be serious," Mrs Paul cried.
"It is not as if we are getting married by the morrow!" cried Tom. "We will wait the appropriate amount of time of course. I can promise you that neither I nor Miss Austen means any disrespect to Mary in any way."
"Were you and Miss Austen romantically involved when you were young?" This was starting to feel like an interrogation.
"Yes," sighed Tom. He was getting more and more distress by the thought of Mary's parents not approving of their own daughter's final wish. He did not want to be disrespectful against them, but this was his house and Mary had been his wife. He would do as she had wished him to do and there was nothing her parents could do or say to make him change his mind.
"And these, feelings, have now risen again?" Mr Paul asked uncomfortably.
"Yes," replied Tom.
-xxx-
Jane Austen paced her room restlessly, round and round. Mary's parents had looked completely shocked after reading their daughter's letter. She had been sure they had liked her before reading the letter. Now she was not as certain. She was sure Mary had written about her wanting Tom to marry her, and she was equally certain that Mary's parents did not approve at all. Jane hoped that Tom could talk some sense into them or at least make them understand. She could not bear to lose him, not again, not like this.
Jane had foolishly thought that everything would sort itself out without any troubles or questions. She had let the dream of a happily married life with Tom cloud her sensible side. Of course there would be talk. There were already rumours about her actually killing poor Mrs Lefroy for her own benefit. There would be even more talk after the funeral when Mary's letter had been read.
Once again she began thinking of leaving. She did not know how she would cope with all the talk she knew would flourish. Her only comfort was the thought of her mother and sister's arrival next week. She wished Eliza and Henry could join them also, but two family members were more than enough. She so hoped her mother would finally approve of Tom. Her reputation was not in danger this time. But Jane was starting to fear that Tom's reputation was on the line this time.
-xxx-
Tom stared at Mary's parents.
"I am afraid there is nothing you can do or say to make me change my mind," he said resolutely. "I was forced to give Miss Austen up once in favour of your daughter. I chose Mary. Now Mary has given me and Miss Austen another chance along with her blessing and I will not give Miss Austen up this time. I hope that, in time, you will come to understand and love Miss Austen as I and my children already do." The look on his face showed his parents in law that it was no use in discussing the matter further. His mind had been set.
Mr and Mrs Paul exchanged looks and sighed dejectedly.
"I am sorry to say that we cannot stay here as long as she is in this house," Mr Paul spat out the word 'she' as if it was something distasteful.
"I am sorry you feel that way," replied Tom harshly. "Your grandchildren will be devastated to hear you are leaving so soon."
"Oh, they are welcome to stay with us any time, perhaps very soon," said Mrs Paul coolly and rose. "We will see you at the funeral. Good day, Mr Lefroy." She took her husband's arm and left Tom's study.
Tom let out a sigh of relief. He could not imagine that they would be so against him following the wishes of their only child. He would have thought they would respect him for that.
"Oh, Mary, look what you have done!" cried Tom to the empty room.
-xxx-
Jane heard the aggravated raised voices from down stairs. She opened her door slightly. Mr and Mrs Paul were obviously not happy with the outcome of their conversation with Tom.
"Fetch our carriage, Jones," snapped Mr Paul to the servant. "We are leaving this instance!"
"Should not we say goodbye to the children?" Mrs Paul asked.
"I am sure Thomas will explain."
"But I have not even had the chance to meet them all," objected Mrs Paul.
"It cannot be helped, Jane. I will not stay another minute in this house of sin!" Jane gasped and clasped a hand over her mouth. Their conversation with Tom had gone terribly wrong indeed. What they must think of her. House of sin?
"Jeffry!" cried his wife. "I am sure it is nothing like that. Thomas is a respectable man. He would never..." Their voices trailed off as they exited the house. Jane closed her door as carefully as she had opened it and sat down on her bed feeling disheartened. Tom had obviously stood up and defended their love and his decision to honour Mary's dying wish. Only her parents did not seem to share this notion of honouring the dead.
"Oh, Mary, look what you have done!" Jane sighed to the empty room.
-xxx-
Jane Lefroy came out of the stables just as her grandparents sat up in their carriage. She could see that they were not satisfied with their meeting with her father and it saddened her immensely.
"Are you leaving so soon?" she cried and ran over to them.
"Yes, I am sorry," said her grandmother with heated cheeks. "Your grandfather has just remembered that he was needed in town." Jane knew she was lying. She wondered why she would lie to her.
"Oh, I see. Will you return later then?" she asked innocently.
"No, I am sorry, Jane. But we will see you at the funeral," her grandfather promised with a forced smile.
"Yes, I will see you then," replied Jane and tried to look satisfied with the answer. But inside she was confused. What had gone so wrong? Why did they have to leave when they had just arrived after a long time abroad?
"Give our love to your brothers and sister," her grandmother called as they carriage started rolling.
"And Miss Austen I am sure?" Jane called back. Her grandmother's face darkened and she pursed her lips in a look of dismay. Then they were too far for Jane to hear any reply, though she was sure there was not any. She sighed. Her father and grandparents had been arguing over Miss Austen, she was sure. They did not approve that was obvious.
"Oh mamma, what have you done?" she sighed.
-TBC-
Oh how will it end? Will they reconcile? Stay tuned for the next chapter... Same channel next week.