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His face was so calm. His body hardly moved. No sounds erupted, only soft breathing and the occasional squeak. Hermione sighed once more and lightly grazed Nathan's cheek.
"Hermione, what are you doing up?" a groggy voice breathed behind her. Hermione turned and smiled at Ron. He sat on the edge of the bed. His fiery hair was tossed and his eyes were puffy. She admired his pale, shirtless chest and too small Cannons boxers.
"I'm just watching Nathan," she confessed.
Ron smirked and slowly joined her by his crib. "He's such a dear, asleep."
Hermione's smile grew. "I know. I wish he was this quiet awake."
"Why are you awake? It's after five," Ron asked.
Hermione shrugged, "I don't know. I couldn't sleep and I thought I'd watch Nathan. I won't see him after this morning."
Ron wrapped a long, lanky arm around her waist and squeezed. "Oh, that's not true. We'll see him after the school today."
Hermione peered at Ron. Even half asleep he was beautiful. His face was so much like her son's. Nathan reflected Ron's features so much it hurt Hermione to look at Ron. A ball lodged in her throat. "I know, but it's not the same. For the past nine months he's never left my body. For the past two weeks, he hardly left my sight. Now, I'll go almost an entire day without him. Every day will be like this."
Ron frowned and bit his lip. He glanced down at Nathan. His face mimicked how she felt. Ron felt the pain as well. "I know how you feel. I mean, not the carrying for nine months thing, but I get it. I'm going to miss him too. I love him so much. But, this is what we chose. We'll see him every night after school and all day on the weekends. He'll be okay. He has my parents. They'll never let him out of their sight."
Hermione chuckled a bit. She could picture Mrs. Weasley checking on Nathan every five minutes. "Well, I know that. I'm not worried so much about Nathan."
Ron placed his other arm around her waist. He turned her so she was facing him. Ron leaned down and lightly kissed her on her forehead. "Love, I'll take care of you okay? I mean I don't think there's a "teens with children support group" we can go to." Hermione had to place a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. "See, you're already better. Lets go back to sleep before we wake him." Hermione nodded and gave Nathan's cheek one final touch before going back to a restless sleep.
She didn't feel any better waking about two hours later. Hermione felt disoriented and unprepared to return to school. "Ron, have you seen my runes book?" she asked kneeling on the carpet and searching under Ron's bed.
"No, I'm still trying to find my robe," Ron said pacing the room.
"Oh, your mother has it. It's in the kitchen. Here it is," Hermione said cheerfully. She stood up and stared at Nathan's crib. He was downstairs with Mr. Weasley eating.
"Damn, my bloody button popped off!" Ron whined. He had on his dress pants and one sock. His shirt was on but unbuttoned, and his tie was wrapped around his neck.
"Ron, dear, calm down," Hermione tried without smiling.
"I'm a wreck. I haven't done this in a while. I don't even want to go!" he complained.
"Well, we have to. We can't miss any more school," Hermione breathed tying on her own tie.
"Ron, Hermione, you two better get down here before your food gets cold!" Mrs. Weasley screamed from downstairs.
Hermione didn't eat much. She spent all her time holding Nathan. She kept smelling his hair and kissing his cheeks.
"Hermione, you're going to start taking the skin off," Ron warned while eating toast.
"Hush, it's a mother thing. Hermione, you know he'll be alright. He'll be waiting for you when you get back," Mrs. Weasley reassured.
"What if he forgets me?" Hermione asked.
"He won't forget you. A son never forgets his mother," Mr. Weasley said.
"Besides, he'll remember who made his face so numb," Ron added. Hermione glared at him.
After another twenty minutes or so, Hermione and Ron prepared to leave. Hermione tried all morning to hold back her tears, but when it was her turn to hold Nathan and say goodbye, she lost it.
"Oh, Nathan, I'm going to miss you so much. Remember that mummy loves you and I'll see you soon," Hermione cried while hugging Nathan. She must have been holing too tight because Nathan started to cry.
"Give me my son before you kill him," Ron ordered. He took Nathan and held him. "Take care of your grandparents, okay? I know you'll be the man of the house." Ron held Nathan to his chest and closed his eyes. For a second he let the sorrow rush to his face but he quickly let go and kissed him. "I love you," he added quietly before handing him to Mrs. Weasley.
"Write us if anything happens," Hermione said while grabbing her things.
"Yeah, he likes to be rocked right after eating," Ron added slowly.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley smiled at them. "We've been parents before. Now go before you're late," Mr. Weasley said.
Hermione blew Nathan one last kiss before touching the port key that transported them to Hermione's dorm.
The moment they arrived, Hermione collapsed to the floor and cried fiercely. "I don't think I can handle this Ron. I want my baby."
Ron sat next to her and held her. "Oh love, it will be okay. I'm sure all mother's go through this for a while."
"That doesn't make this hurt any less," Hermione whined looking up at him.
Ron cupped her chin in his hands. "I know. I know that I can't feel what you feel but I can understand. He's my baby too. I miss him. I wish I could hold him all day but we can't. We have to keep going so we can spend all the time we want with him. Please, I need you."
That more than anything calmed Hermione down. She looked into Ron's crystal blue eyes and saw that he did need her. He was hurting just like her.
"Alright, let's do this," Hermione breathed.
Ron nodded and pressed his lips against hers. Hermione kissed him back. Right as Ron placed his hand on her thigh, they heard a knock at the door.
"We know you two are in there. If you thought you could sneak a quick shag you're wrong!" a voice screamed from the other side of the door.
"Yeah, and if that's really what you two are doing, I'm ashamed. I thought you learned this lesson before!" another voice added.
"Midget prats," Ron breathed while getting up and dragging himself to the door. He opened it to reveal Harry and Ginny.
Hermione rubbed her eyes and gazed at them. Harry's hair was as messy and black as ever. His eyes were still a piercing green and his glasses still rested on his nose. Ginny's long mane of red hair was tied in a ponytail. She still was short with dozens of freckles. The two of them looked exactly the same. Hermione didn't know why she expected them to look different. It seemed as if so much time had gone by since she had Nathan instead of just a couple of weeks. "What the hell do you two want?" Ron asked rudely.
Ginny frowned, "Is that any way to talk to your favorite sister? Here I am to say welcome back and I get yelled at." Ron rolled his eyes and let them in. Hermione got up and sat on her bed. Ginny joined her.
Harry casually walked into the room and smiled. "Hey mates, what's new?"
"Well, nothing now that you two decided to interrupt," Ron spat.
"Oh Ron we weren't doing anything," Hermione said.
"Yet," Ron breathed quietly. The room was silent.
"So, how's parenting?" Harry asked leaning against a wall.
Hermione felt a pang in her chest. "I miss my son."
"You get to see him tonight," Ginny said rubbing Hermione's hand gently.
"It's not the same," Hermione pressed. "I know it will get easier, but right now it's not."
"Well, maybe class will help you take your mind off of things," Harry said. Hermione nodded and got off her bed. Maybe school work was all she needed.
The rest of the day was an uncomfortable familiarity for Hermione. Her classes were still the same. People still treated her nasty, and the teachers still gave a small look of pity. Everything around Hermione was normal and it bothered her. She didn't know why she expected everything to change once Nathan was born. She was different. Her entire world was different, but everything around her was still the same.
"Gods, I have so much work to do," Ron complained during lunch. "I wanted to stay at the house for a long time, but I'm going to have to come back early to do all of this work."
Hermione sighed and closed her book. "I hate to say it, but I agree with you. I have so much to catch up on. I knew there was going to be a lo,t but this is insane. I need to go to wash my face."
She quickly grabbed her bags and left before anyone could respond.
Hermione ran into the nearest bathroom and locked herself in a stall. She sat on the toilet and pressed her face into her hands. Tears once again burned her eyes.
"Hermione?" someone said.
Hermione jumped and wiped her eyes. She was so absorbed in her own world that she didn't even notice someone walk in. She unlocked her door and opened it. Luna stood on the other side. "Oh, hello Luna," Hermione said before blowing her nose.
"Are you alright?" Luna asked looking concerned.
"Yes, I'm fine," Hermione lied.
Luna frowned, "Here, lets talk." She walked to the wall near the sinks and sat down. Hermione almost laughed. She figured they walk or go outside. She should have known Luna meant right then and there. She sat next to her regardless. "Now, tell me the truth. What's wrong? I saw you storm out of the hall."
Hermione shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know. I'm just not having a good day. I'm not prepared for all this work and on top of it…"
"You miss Nathan?" Luna offered.
Hermione bit her lip. Luna was a very striking girl. Her skin was pale and her lips were pouty and pink. Her dirty blond hair was so long and wavy and her gray eyes were huge and alert. She commanded attention without even asking for it.
"I know that I'm such a baby," Hermione said.
Luna smiled beautifully and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "No you're not. I know what it's like to miss someone terribly."
Hermione shifted a bit. All at once, her troubles and pain seemed like nothing compared to Luna's. "You don't have to talk about it," Hermione said.
Luna shook her head, "No, it's alright. I don't mind talking about it. It's how I remember her. I'm not saying that I understand what it's like to have a child, but I do know what it's like to love someone so much and not be able to have them. It hurts to have someone so close to you taken away."
"It's not the same. I shouldn't complain. To you or to Harry," Hermione said feeling ashamed.
"Hermione, Harry and I aren't broken. We're not fragile either. Yes, we've lost parents but it doesn't mean our friend's don't feel pain. He understands and so do I. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this. We're all here for you. Ron is especially here for you. He's the one you should let all this out to. He understands better than anyone else. Don't such him out," Luna said taking her hand.
Hermione smiled at Luna. The lump in her throat disappeared and she felt better. "Thank you so much Luna. I didn't even know I needed this."
Luna nodded, "Just remember you can see him whenever you like. You're lucky Hermione. You're lucky to have Nathan and Ron."
"I know. I forget that sometimes," Hermione confessed.
"Don't do that. Don't ever forget about the people you have in your life," Luna's voice was flat and harsh. Hermione felt worse that she did before.
Hermione continued the rest of her classes in silence. Neville tried talking to her but she didn't have much to say. After classes Hermione returned to her room early. Ron stayed with Harry. She didn't say much to him after returning to lunch.
Later on in the evening Ron returned to her room so they could see Nathan. He stood near the door. "Look, I know you're really upset about not being able to see Nathan, but this is not fair. I don't deserve this."
Hermione, who was sitting on her bed, looked at him. "I know. I've been horrible to everyone. I don't know what's gotten into me. I mean I miss Nathan, but it's no reason to act like this."
Ron came closer to her. "So, what's wrong?"
Hermione shook her head. "I don't know. I just I feel uneasy about things now." Ron gave her a curious look. Hermione continued, "Well, for so long I've been pregnant. No matter what I've had Nathan with me. He's the reason we're together. He's one of the main reasons why I have some of my friends and your family in my life. Now that he's here, I feel like I have no reason to be around."
Ron gawked at her. "Are you serious? You feel like you have no purpose? Look, I don't know what you think but I loved you way before you told me you were pregnant. I loved you before and after we broke up."
"Yes, but you wouldn't have even started talking to me again if you didn't know about the baby," Hermione explained.
Ron sighed and moved next to her on the bed. "Love, please don't make things harder than they have to be. You are going to have to start living in what's going on now. I love you. It doesn't matter what happened. I'm here now and I love you. I need you to be apart of my life Hermione. Please don't think that I don't want you anymore. Why are you so insecure?"
Hermione shrugged and thought about the conversation she had with Luna. "I don't think I deserve anything that I have. I don't deserve you or Nathan."
Ron put a hand to her cheek. "Hermione, you are so smart, but sometimes you think too much. We both wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. You're the best woman in our lives. If you don't believe me, ask your son yourself."
Hermione felt much better once she saw Nathan later on that night. He was wide awake and waiting for her in Mrs. Weasley's arms.
"Oh, I missed you so much baby," Hermione whispered while holding Nathan in her arms. They were in Ron's room. She was trying to get Nathan to sleep.
"You're getting so much better at that Hermione," Ron said while lying in his bed.
Hermione grinned at him. "I'm still no way as fast as you."
"It's not a race Hermione. All you need to worry about is getting him to sleep that's the most important," Ron said. "I'm getting kind of sleepy myself."
"Me too," Hermione said. Once Nathan's eyes were closed and his breathing slowed, she put him in his crib. "I think we should head back. I have a lot of work to do."
They walked downstairs to say goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. "You two get some rest. You can see Nathan tomorrow," Mrs. Weasley said.
"Night mum," Ron said yawning.
When they got back to Hermione's room, she plopped on the bed. "I don't even know if I can reach my bag."
"I don't feel like doing any work. I don't think I'll be able to concentrate," Ron said moving next to her.
Hermione lay her body almost on top of Ron's. He smelled so sweet and was so soft.
"What are you doing?" Ron asked snaking a hand on her bottom.
"Resting," Hermione said with a grin. Ron placed both hands on her bottom and squeezed it. Hermione moaned softly rocking her hips. She felt Ron gasp.
"I'm never too tired for this," he breathed.
Hermione looked up at him. "No, we can't."
Ron licked his lips, "Why not? You're not pregnant."
Hermione took a minute to review her choices. She could say no and get to work or she could say yes and not finish her homework. Her decision was decided for her when Ron's hands went under her skirt to a more intimate place.
"Do you have protection?" she asked.
Ron frowned, "Give me a minute." He pulled from under Hermione and left he room. Hermione looked past the opening of her door to see Ron bang on Harry's door.
"Midget, open the door!" Ron screamed.
Harry opened the door in haste, "What is it?" Ron pushed through and Harry followed him in. "You two are sick freaks," Harry added when Ron came out with two tubes of potion.
"Yeah, yeah. You have plenty to spare," Ron said slamming the door shut. He quickly popped the top off both and handed one to Hermione. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
Hermione glance from the clear liquid to Ron. "Yes, I've missed this. This is the only good thing about being away from Nathan."
Ron chuckled and downed his liquid. Hermione put the tube to her lips and drank the potion. It had a pickle juice after taste that she didn't like but was happy that she actually had it this time.
Ron wasted no time jumping on top of her. He ripped his shirt off and began attacking her neck. Hermione thrusted up into his pelvis and began unfastening her skirt.
"Ron, I love you," she groaned as he bit her ear.
"I love you too Hermione. Damn, I want you always," Ron replied while tracing patterns all over her bare stomach with his fingers.
Hermione closed her eyes and let every beautiful feeling from Ron rock her body into ecstasy. She missed Nathan but she had Ron. Everything would be okay. At least, she hoped they would be.
I needed to get this sticky transition out of the way. Review!
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