I Do Not Own DeGrassi
Ch.26 The Hardest Part is the Night
(CLARE)
She was on her bed opening her gifts and cards from her welcome home party the previous evening when there was a knock on her bedroom door.
"Come in." She called dryly expecting her Mother for the tenth time that morning but was happily greeted by Drew's face instead. "Hey Drew come on in, I was just opening my gift from Owen and the hockey team."
"Hey Clare." He smiles a little and sits at the edge of her bed as she opens up the box and pulls out an Ice Hounds jacket, it's her size and even has her name embroidered over the left breast. "Your very own Ice Hounds jacket cool." Drew comments.
She smiles thinking about when Owen leant her his team jacket to keep everyone from seeing the blood on her clothes. "The card says they had it made special and I'm an honorary Ice Hound. I'm sure it was Owen's idea but still that was nice of the team, it is a very nice jacket and Owen's was warm and soft."
"Yeah." Drew says quietly and Clare notices that he's looking down and he looks a little sad but also angry.
She puts down the jacket, leaning forward just slightly and pulling on his sleeve so he'll look at her. "Drew what's the matter?"
"Sorry Clare I didn't mean to bring you down, you want to open the rest of your gifts?" He sighs.
"No I want to know what's wrong, something's bothering you. Last night you guys were so happy when you came to tell us about your engagement, so what happened since then to bring you down so much?" Clare asks.
"During Bianca's morning break she and I met my Mom at the Dot to tell her and well…" He sighs, "and she flipped out and basically told us we should never get married."
"Oh Drew I'm sorry. I thought your Mom liked Bianca?" She bites her lip feeling terrible for her friends.
"So did I, so did Bianca but apparently not enough for us to get married. It's not like we're getting married tomorrow I mean it was gonna be like a year with planning and everything. I love Bianca and I know she loves me and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We both still want to get married and I know Adam supports us but this is going to be harder without my parents support." Drew sighes heavily sounding slightly defeated.
"You know you've got my support and Eli's too." Clare says smiling sweetly.
Drew smiles finally, "Yeah I know and Owen, Fiona and Imogen too which is basically everyone we wanted at the wedding anyway. When I dropped Bianca back at school she said we should just elope over spring break, maybe we'll just do that. Get all you guys together and go to one of those quickie chapels during spring break, I'm sure you'll be strong enough to walk down the aisle and stand by Bianca as her maid of honor by then."
"I'm sure I will." She smiles but then bites her lip and brings her eyebrows together in thought.
"Hey don't worry about it Clare, we'll figure it out. You just concentrate on getting healed. I should get to work but I'll be back tomorrow morning if not tonight and don't hesitate to call if you need anything." Drew says brightening his smile and she knows it's for her sake.
"I know thanks Drew and thanks for coming by." Clare says bringing a smile back to her lips.
He leans forward hugging her gently and kissing her cheek. "See you later Clare."
"Bye Drew." She says and then he's gone from her room. She feels bad for Drew and Bianca and then she gets an idea and leans over to get her phone from her nightstand.
"Clare is that you? Are you…"
"I'm fine Dad." She interrupts him. "Do you think you and Stephanie could come here on your lunch? I need to talk to you both."
"Sure honey absolutely we'll be there in an hour." He says eagerly.
"Okay see you soon." She says and hangs up.
An hour later her Mom opens her bedroom door, "Sweetheart your Father and Stephanie are here." She steps aside and lets them into the room.
"Thanks for coming and thanks for the new bed." Clare says as her Father and Stephanie walk to her bedside.
"You're welcome it was really…" Her Father starts but she holds up her hand to get him to stop.
"Don't say anything until I'm finished please. Now I know Eli and Jake and the others blame the two of you for what happened just as much as Ben and Trevor. As for me well I don't know how to feel. I know that I probably never want to see Ben and Trevor again. I may never want to go to your house again. And it's hard for me to even be around you two because honestly it just brings back the memories, seeing you both is harder than I thought it would be. Nothing you can say or do can ever erase what your sons did but there are ways you can help. So here's what I need, two of my friends got engaged but they've hit an obstacle. They're thinking about eloping at one of those quickie churches in two weeks during spring break. They have both been here for me during this whole ordeal. They've done more for me in three weeks than most people have my whole life and have become two of my closest friends. I want to give them a wedding, a nice one and you two are going to pay for it. I want you to get plane tickets for everyone on this list." She hands a piece of paper to Stephanie and her stepmother takes it and glances it. "I'm thinking Atlantic City, and two hotel rooms for a weekend plus a third one for the happy couple on their wedding night. Plus you know food and stuff. If you can do this for me and my friends I'll not only talk to Eli and the others about forgiving you both but I'll also work hard on repairing my relationship with you Dad and building one with you Stephanie, even coming to the house again, as long as Ben and Trevor aren't there anyway." Clare takes a struggling deep breath as she finishes.
Her Dad and Stephanie are quiet for a minute, looking at the list of nine names and then at each other. Then Stephanie smiles, "Of course Clare whatever you want. If you write down everyone's ages I'll go see my travel agent as soon as I leave here." She says and hands the paper back to Clare.
Clare smiles and takes the paper she leans over to her nightstand to grab her pen wincing in pain as she does. Her Father leaps up and grabs the pen handing it to his youngest daughter; she writes down the ages of everyone and gives the paper back to her stepmother.
"Thanks Stephanie I do appreciate this."
"Absolutely Clare it's nothing at all and if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask. I'm gonna go to the travel agency right now and I'll come back here as soon as everything is set." Stephanie says almost nervously as she leaves Clare's room.
Her Father looks at her and smiles hopefully, "Get better Clare, I love you." He says and follows his wife out of the room.
"Well that went easier than I thought it would. Okay so I did kind of just blackmailed my Dad and Stepmom into paying for Drew and Bianca's wedding, you'd think I'd feel a little bad but I just feel good. Hey I was abused and assaulted and came close to dying a couple of times and had to have surgery. I paid the price of innocence and trust so really this is a small price for them to pay."
(ELI)
He was walking to Math when his cell rang, he pulled it from his pocket and seeing that was Clare instantly began to panic that something was wrong.
"Clare what's the matter? Do you need me to come back? Are you…"
"Eli I'm fine take a breath I just wanted to call, my Mom's driving me crazy she keeps pushing me to do my homework and when I finally took a break from homework she told me I should write my statement." She pauses for a minute and he can hear the tears. "I told her I couldn't write it without you and Adam with me."
He feels a pang in his chest, guilt for leaving her for the day. "I shouldn't have left I'll come home right now."
"What? Eli no you need to go to school, I'm okay really. You know how writing the statement upsets me because I have to remember, and it's already on my mind after…" She pauses and he just knows she's biting her lip. She takes as deep a breath as she can manage before continuing, "Hey could make sure Owen, Fi and Imogen are coming over later? I don't have the energy to call them all right now."
"Of course baby but are you sure you don't want me to come home?" He asks just as the bell rings.
"No stay at school I'll see you in a few hours now get to class." She assures him softly and then hangs up. He sighs, internally debating whether he should ignore her and rush home or do as she asks and go to class. After a few minutes he walks to class but that pang of guilt remains.
(CLARE)
She was in her bed of course, Eli and Adam at her sides as per usual, Bianca, Owen, Fiona, Imogen, Alli and Jenna in her room. They had all come straight from school to see her. Currently Alli was telling her every detail of Alli's day when there was a knock at her bedroom door and Mrs. Bhandari came in.
"Hello Clare how are you feeling?" Mrs. Bhandari asks.
"Better." Clare smiles sweetly.
"That's good, I'm sorry but I have to take Alli and Jenna home now."
"We'll be back tomorrow Clare." Alli assures her and she and Jenna push Adam and Eli out of the way to hug their friend.
"Bye see you guys tomorrow," Clare waves to them. They wave back and leave her room just as Drew enters. "Hey Drew thanks for coming." Clare smiles and then turns to the others. "Would you guys mind waiting downstairs while I talk to Drew and Bianca for a minute, but don't go anywhere."
"Sure Clare we'll be right downstairs." Eli says for everyone.
The others leave her room and Drew and Bianca sit next to each other on the side of her bed. "What's up Clare?" Bianca asks.
"Drew told me about Audra and how you guys were thinking about eloping at one of those quickie chapels over spring break. Well I just can't have that for two of my close friends, you guys have done a lot for me and been there for me these last three weeks so I wanted to give you a wedding." They both look shocked and are speechless, she points to her nightstand. "Drew could hand me that envelope?" She requests.
Drew leans over and hands her the manilla envelope, "Clare you…"
She cuts him off, "My Dad and Stephanie paid for it so don't worry about the money. I hope Atlantic City is okay?"
"Atlantic City is amazing, this is amazing! I don't know how we can thank you Clare." Bianca exclaims hugging her and she can see tears in the corner of her curly headed friends eyes.
"Thank me by having a fabulous wedding. We have plane tickets for the two of you, me, Adam, Eli, Fiona, Imogen and Owen. Three days and two nights at the Grimaldi arms hotel, it'll be a quick trip but…"
"No it's perfect Clare." Drew smiles widely and Clare smiles back happy to see the large grin back on the olive skinned boys face.
"They even provided us with prepaid credit cards for meals and such. We leave on the seventh so I have two whole weeks to get strong enough to walk down the aisle." She says smiling proudly that she could give this to them.
"I don't care if Adam carries you down the aisle as long as I'm marrying the man I love and all of you are there to see it." Bianca assures her, taking Drew's hand.
Clare watches them a minute happy to see them so happy and in love. "Drew can you get the others up here so we can give them their airline tickets please?"
Drew nods and disappears out of the room, appearing a minute later with the rest of the gang in tow.
"What's going on?" Adam inquires.
"Well the first weekend of spring break we're all going to Atlantic City so Drew and I can get married and you can all be there. Clare took care of everything." Bianca gushes.
Clare opens the envelope and pulls out the airline tickets. "Here's your plane tickets," she says handing them each a small envelope. "We also have a hotel suite and Bianca and Drew have a private room for their wedding night. We don't even have to worry about food because we have prepaid credit cards to pay for meals."
"This is awesome but how did you pay for all this?" Adam inquires.
"I didn't my Dad and Stephanie did, they were quite happy to do anything I wanted, they feel guilty." Clare informs them.
"They should feel guilty." Eli comments through clenched teeth.
Clare looks at him and puts her hand on his; he takes it holding it between both his hands.
"I have to get back to work, my lunch hours almost over but thanks again Clare this is amazing." Drew says hugging her more tightly than that morning, but still careful not to hurt her and kissing her cheek again.
"I'm gonna walk Drew out." Bianca says taking his hand and the two leave Clare's room.
After Drew left the others stayed for about another hour talking excitedly about the wedding and Atlantic City. Not long after they left her Mother called them to dinner.
"I'm not hungry can you just bring me one of those protein shakes my Mom picked up for me please?" Clare asks.
She sees Eli and Adam look at each other and then grimace at her a little. "You should try and eat a little Clare; the doctor said you need to keep up your strength." Eli reminds her.
"That's what the protein shake is for Eli. I swear I'll drink the whole thing." She says scrunching her mouth to one side.
"Fine but you've been in bed all day why don't you come downstairs and drink your shake and sit with us for a bit." Adam suggests.
"Yeah okay." She nods. The boys move off the bed and help her up. Once she's on her feet Adam moves away just a bit but Eli keeps his arm around her. "Eli you can let me go. I made it to the washroom and back twice today, all on my own."
"That's great but you have to walk downstairs and if you get faint and fall you could pop your stitches or…"
"Eli." She cuts him off, "You two will be right at my sides and I know you won't let me fall."
He looks at her another minute a hesitant look on his face, finally Adam pulls at Eli with a firm hand and he lets go of her. She walks slowly, her legs stronger than the previous day but still weak and somewhat shaky. Each step, every movement careful and calculated but she makes it to the top of the stairs without help. She pauses leaning her hand against the wall, the exertion from moving and walking even such a small distance taxing her damaged lungs and she's short of breath. She tries to take a deep breath but her pneumonia ridden lungs simply can't and she coughs instead and then winces in pain.
"Clare?!" Eli's anxious and worried voice questions from behind her, his arms instantaneously around her waist to support her.
"I'm okay Eli I just need to catch my breath." She pants putting her hand on his arms still encircling her.
She coughs again in an effort to catch her breath and Eli scoops her up and carries her down the stairs. She sighs wraps her arms around his neck for support and looks over Eli's shoulder to see Adam shake his head and roll his eyes. Eli sets her down at the table and her family smiles at her. He gives her a protein shake and everyone starts eating. When she finishes her shake Eli dispenses her meds for her and watches her closely as she takes them. Now Clare rolls her eyes, she knows she wasn't great about taking her medications before but after a few days in the ICU and surgery she was disciplined about taking her meds now.
(ELI)
He woke up suddenly, the dream fresh on his mind his breathing fast and shallow, he felt tears going down his cheeks.
"Eli?" Clare questioned from beside him. Her voice was small, cracked with sleep and filled with concern.
"You okay man?" Adam asked groggily from Clare's other side, sitting up a little.
He turned to both of them, only able to make out their silhouettes in the dark room. He put a hand on Clare's arm to comfort her. "I'm fine sorry I woke you guys, go back to sleep."
"Why'd you wake up?" Clare asks her voice still filled with worry.
"I woke up from a dream blue eyes, it was nothing. Get back to sleep now, you need our rest." He says in the most soothing tone he could.
She reaches for him finding his hand on her arm and she clasps it, and then she yawns and he hears her wince at the end and the sound of her in pain causes him pain. He bends down and kisses her cheek, she squeezes his hand just a little as her pain dissipates. He lays down again laying an arm across her both to assure her that he's there and to comfort him that she's still breathing. In a few moments Adam is fast asleep again, and it isn't long after that Clare falls asleep again as well. His mind is racing and he lays awake for a while doing his best not to think of his dream or anything else upsetting, it isn't easy. Just as he begins to feel tired again he hears a strained, high pitch wheezing sound and he sits bolt upright knowing its Clare struggling to breath.
"CLARE!"
(ADAM)
He's awoken unexpectedly by Eli frantically calling Clare's name, and then he hears her short, shallow, wheezing breaths. He sits up turning on the light on Clare's nightstand. Adam looks over and Eli is helping her to sit, she's awake but her lips are slightly blue. Adam reaches over grabbing the portable emergency oxygen; he turns it on and places the mask over Clare's nose and mouth. She was clutching Eli's hand, her eyes shut tight and they watched her try and take a deep breath and then wince.
"Steady breaths Clare they don't need to be deep just breathe okay?" Adam instructs in a calming voice.
She opens her eyes, he smiles at her and he sees the smallest smile appear on her lips. It took a few minutes of having the oxygen mask on but her breathing finally became steady and regular, her lips turned pink again and she removed the mask. Adam turned off the compressor and he and Eli let out a relieved sigh as Adam placed the emergency oxygen back on her nightstand.
"I'm okay guys sorry I…" She was interrupted by her own fit of coughing, culminating in her coughing up some blood. It splattered on her hand and her pajama top.
Adam looked at Eli to see that his ebony haired friend looked petrified and seemed to be frozen. Adam took a tissue from the box at Clare's bedside and handed it to her and she began cleaning her hands.
Finally Eli was able to move again, "Let's get that shirt off you baby." Eli said after she tosses the bloody tissue in the trash.
"I'll get you another shirt." Adam says tossing his blanket to the floor and getting off the bed.
He went to her drawer and pulled out another pajama top, this one buttoned up. He turned back around just as Eli was pulling Clare's camisole over her head; Eli threw it across the room to her closet, missing the hamper. Eli looked back at Clare and suddenly he looked sick, the boy literally took on a green hue. Adam hated to do it but he followed Eli's gaze to see a scabbed over bite mark, in the middle of a large red area on one of Clare's breasts. Clare bit her lip, covered her chest with her arms and looked down; closing her eyes tightly and Adam saw a tear escape from the corner of her eye.
"I'll be back." Eli says weakly, getting off the bed quickly and leaving Clare's room shutting the door behind him.
Adam stares at the closed door for a second and turns back to Clare, her eyes are still shut tight and he can see tears running down her cheeks. He sighs his heart breaking for his friend while he wonders why his other friend ran from her room. He goes back to the bed sitting down and she still doesn't open her eyes.
"Give me your arms Clare." He says in a gentle voice. She reaches out one arm while keeping the other protectively clutched over her chest. "Clare I promise I won't look its okay." He assures her.
Slowly she releases her other arm, he slips on both sleeves and she puts her arms at her sides. "I can do the buttons." She says quietly.
He nods as she opens her eyes, but she doesn't look at him. She buttons her top quickly, and Adam looks at the door wondering where Eli is and why he isn't back yet.
"Can you turn out the light please Adam?" She requests in a small voice.
He turns light off and he feels her lay down again. "Do you want me to go get Eli?"
He can feel her head shake as her hair brushes his arm. "No give him space I don't blame him for leaving." Her voice is choked by sobbing and he can feel her body shaking just slightly as her sobbing increases.
He doesn't know what to say to her, or how to comfort her so he just lays down at her side once more and gently rubs her arm until she cries herself to sleep again. Assured that she's once again asleep he gets off the bed and quietly exits the room. He goes downstairs seeing that a lamp is on in the living room. Eli is on the couch staring at a blank TV screen, his eyes bloodshot and tear tracks on his cheeks.
"Eli she's fine, the doctor said this would happen until she got over the pneumonia and her lungs got stronger." Adam says sitting on the couch next to Eli.
"She's not fine Adam," Eli replies dropping his head to his hands, "she's not fine…" he stops and his head shoots back up to look at Adam. "Wait what are you doing down here, what about Clare?"
"She's asleep Eli." Adam tells him.
"But who's with her? What if she stops breathing again? What if she coughs up more blood in her sleep and chokes? What if…"
"Eli stop! I just came down here to see what was with you. I'll go back up but she was here all day alone in her room most of the time and was still alive when we all got here afterschool." Adam points out.
"I know but she has the most trouble at night, didn't the doctor say something about her having to lay down in the right position to keep breathing? Adam please go back up there, she needs you." Eli beseeches him.
"Okay but she needs you too Eli, more than she does me." Adam says in a firm tone.
"I just can't right now, please go be with her Adam. If she stops breathing again or coughs up more blood she may not wake up to get her oxygen. Just please stay with her." Eli's voice is cracked with sorrow.
Adam resigns, "Okay I'm going, I won't leave her side but Eli she needs you too, she cried herself to sleep after you left."
He turns and goes back up the stairs, opening Clare's door slowly and stepping into the room. He goes to the bed and lays down again she's still fast asleep and her breathing is normal, steady and as deep as her still ill lungs can manage. He closes his eyes as he feels fatigued from the day and the events of the night. As Adam feels sleep coming on he hopes that Eli gets over whatever his problem is soon, for Clare's sake and for his.
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