Chapter 26 The Test
Meg felt Erik's hand brush and clasp hers as they walked along the porch. Looking up at his profile as he spoke with Pieter, she felt her eyes drawn along the strong line of his jaw and the movement of his lips. Gripped by an urge to touch and kiss his cheek, she studied its smooth surface, noting the faint shadow of dark beard he had shaved off this morning. Secretly, she had wanted to watch him shave, but they had woken late and gotten ready in separate rooms. Now, as he kept her close to his side, she could smell the faint scent of his shaving soap, based in cinnamon and perhaps clove, yet decidedly masculine.
As if sensing her regard, he glanced down at her, his thumb absently brushing her hand in a faint caress. She smiled and nodded, and when he returned his attention to what Pieter was saying, she realized her attention had wandered again. It was all Erik's fault, she thought, suddenly aware that her interest in him now bordered on obsession. Whenever he pretended they were a normal couple, as he was doing now, his nearness and friendly touch affected her so powerfully it unsettled her. What would happen if they were to yield to their true feelings? What would it be like to really be his wife?
She looked away, feeling her color rise at that doubtful prospect. Arlene's interested gaze collided with hers, and Meg knew she had guessed the direction of her thoughts. But how?
"Perhaps when you both return, you will have more opportunity to explore a future here," Peter advised.
Arlene smiled knowingly, and Meg was sure her face was completely red. Thankfully the older woman took Pieter's arm and abruptly changed the subject.
"Enough business for now," she hinted, tugging her husband's arm. "We've spent so much of our time on the details of their departure we've hardly any day left!"
Pieter looked at her a moment, then up at the slant of the sun against a cloudy sky. "You're right—it's already mid afternoon and we've kept these two long enough."
"I've enjoyed it," Erik nodded, glancing down at Meg for her opinion.
Hearing a momentary pause in conversation, she pulled her eyes from the breadth of his chest and looked up. Then he put his arm around her shoulders, and without thinking she wound her arm around his back.
"It was a wonderful meal," she said brightly, focusing on Pieter. "And the cabin is perfect, with such a lovely view." To her horror, she realized too late that they had not seen the view in daylight, a fact of which they were all aware. Erik nodded.
"We rode along the ridge last night," he explained, covering her mistake.
"It was beautiful, with all that starlight," she added quickly.
"I wish there was some way we could repay you for all your kindness," he told them.
They slowed to stop at the front steps, turning at Ben's call from across the square. He was coming toward the house leading Prince and another stallion. Pieter raised his brows, looking expectantly at Erik.
"There is a way, if you accept the position I offered; then we would be the ones indebted to you."
Erik nodded. "I'll take it under consideration," Erik answered.
"Ben looks eager to be on his way," Meg stated, easing out from Erik's arm even though she wished he would stay with her. But he already looked uncomfortable from having sat so long while they lingered over their meals.
"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked. "I'll try not to be too long."
"Please, go--don't worry about me," she answered, smiling up at him. "I want to help clean up and then check on my students."
"I think they've got something else planned," Arlene said, nodding toward the school. They all turned to see a line of students headed in their direction.
"What's this?" Meg asked, looking at her suspiciously. "Another surprise?"
"Just a little one," she admitted. "Gracie and her mom have their hearts set on giving you both a wedding gift--it's just a little performance meant to entertain you."
Erik stared at the group as they marched up the path and began to fan out before them. She took his arm and leaned into it, noting how he guarded his expression. Then she remembered him saying he didn't like surprises.
The children formed a small half circle before them, Gracie at the center. Behind them Ben slowed to a stop and stood at a distance to watch, the reins of both horses clamped in his hand. Meg stifled a laugh at his cut offs and boots, as well as the ragged old shirt he had tossed over his head. It was certainly hot enough for a swim, she thought longingly, and Erik had promised to teach her later on. The thought made the back of her neck tingle with sudden awareness.
"The deGraaf Ballet School wishes to present a special dance as a present to Mlle. Meg and Mon. Erik," Gracie announced, bowing her head before them. "Happy marriage!"
With that the children sprang into motion, singing and dancing to a popular folk tune about the springtime. Meg watched with fascinated delight, glancing up at Erik. A ghost of a smile played around his lips but he kept his attention on every detail. There were reels and leaps, laughs and even a few stumbles, but when it was over they all lined up and bowed in unison.
Erik raised both hands and shouted bravo, as did Arlene and Pieter. Meg rushed down the steps into their midst, hugging them and commenting on their performance. The children laughed and congratulated them in joyous confusion, but it was Gracie who marched up the steps and pulled Erik down to stand next to Meg.
"That was a delight!" Meg said, applauding them and smiling up at Erik as he came to her side. "How did you manage to find the time?"
"Arlene and Mamma helped us!" Gracie answered, her voice drowned out in all the excitement.
"Excellent—thank you—" Erik said in his deep voice.
Shouting in glee, they quickly surrounded them within a circle, earning a laugh from Ben as everyone watched them dance around the couple, thoroughly embarrassing them. This went on for a full minute, the circle shrinking, until Erik pulled Meg in front of him, loosely wrapping his arms around her from behind. She laughed, raising her hands to his arms. Then the chanting began.
"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss Mlle. Giry! Kiss her! Kiss her!"
Meg leaned forward, keeping her grip on Erik's forearms. "It's Madame Destler, not Mlle." she corrected with a laugh. Suddenly the arms around her tightened and before she realized what was happening Erik turned her and pulled her up against his chest. Gasping and gripping him for balance, she stared up at him. His eyes were lit with a mixture of amusement and apology just before he bent his head and kissed her.
While cheers and shouts of glee erupted around them she received a kiss filled with joy, appreciation and longing. It took her breath away, but she kept her eyes closed as she clung to him, feeling her feet touch the ground as he lowered her gently back down. With legs weak from the power of his embrace, she felt the arm supporting her loosen as he planted a brief kiss in the center of her forehead.
"There—you have your kiss!" he announced, his voice vibrating in his chest so that she could feel it against hers. Slowly opening her eye, she gripped him as he turned her toward the porch.
"Pick her up! Pick her up!" the children demanded. Pieter called out his objection to the children but the amusement in his voice was evident. Ben finished cheering as Gracie's mother scolded her in a lecturing tone, yet again the squeals and pleas of the children were apparently too much for Erik. Without warning he lifted her and carried her in a circle as she laughed and gripped his shoulders. The children danced happily around them and to their delight he swung her round and round.
"Erik, your leg!" she protested on a laugh, winding her arms around his shoulders. His laughter mixed with theirs, that deep, rich sound that tickled her lungs and warmed her heart.
"It's fine," he soothed, smiling as he lowered her again but kept her in his arms. Struck by the importance of the moment, she slid one hand up the back of his neck and combed her fingers into his hair at the back of his collar. His smile faltered and his eyes darkened to forest green, and suddenly it seemed as if the world faded away, leaving only the two of them to gaze into each other's eyes.
"I knew you were funny, Mon. Erik," Gracie giggled, hiccoughing on a laugh. Her tug on his shirt broke the contact between them and he glanced down at her with a smile.
"Not just funny looking?" he quipped, easing his hold on Meg.
"No, but now we know you'll be happy together, once we made you laugh."
"You're absolutely right," Meg agreed, winding an arm around Erik's back as she glanced up at him. He met her look with his brows raised. "Laughing is very important, and thank you all for reminding us—and for working so hard on your performance."
"You've given us one of our best gifts," Erik added, eyeing each young face turned up to him. "Your talents are very promising."
"I'm sorry to interrupt but Mon. Erik and I must leave for his exercises," Ben announced, bringing the horses closer. "We have to make sure his leg gets even stronger for his trip."
"You're leaving?" Gracie cried, gripping Erik's hand tightly.
He nodded. "I must return to Paris—"
"Why? We thought you were going to live here!" she protested, glancing up at her mother as she put both hands on her shoulders
"Gracie, please—"
Erik bent toward her so that they were eye level. "I will try my best to return," he said gently, squeezing her hand before he straightened.
"I will do everything I can to see that he does," Meg promised, avoiding Erik's eyes. "We are leaving very early tomorrow morning but we want you to have a fun summer and keep practicing."
"Come, children," Gracie's mother said, steering her daughter toward the school. "Say good bye and wish them a safe journey."
"Good-bye, come back soon!" they called, and quickly their attention switched to forming a line to return to the school.
"We'll miss you!" Gracie added, turning to wave before she scampered off with her friends in a noisy and less than orderly departure.
Ben came up to Erik and held out Prince's reins. "That was quite a sendoff," he sighed. "Ready to go?"
Erik nodded, turning to Meg. "I'll be back later," he said for her ears only, his eyes unreadable. She squeezed his arm before crossing her own and stepping back.
"Erik, don't forget your package," Pieter called, coming toward him with a large envelope.
He turned in surprise. "I almost did," he answered, taking from Pieter and tucking it into the bag that hung from Prince's saddle. He turned to shake Pieter's hand. "Thank you for everything."
"Our pleasure," Pieter said, moving to stand next to Meg. "Don't leave this little lady waiting too long."
Erik mounted stiffly and settled himself with a nod. "Give us two hours," he said to both of them. Then he turned Prince and followed after Ben, who rode off at a canter as Meg and Pieter climbed the stairs to the porch. Going to Arlene's side, they watched until both riders disappeared around the bend in the road. Feeling surprisingly bereft, Meg heard Pieter tell Arlene that he would be in his office for the rest of the day before he walked away.
"Oh Meg," he called, turning and stopping at the entrance. "Be sure you both get a good night's sleep: we leave at seven in the morning."
"All right," she answered, forcing a smile she did not felt. The reminder of the journey back to Paris made her stomach tense. "We will meet you at the stables."
He nodded, his expression sobering. "Don't worry, Meg. Have faith."
She watched him walk off and go inside before Arlene gripped her arm. When their eyes met, she searched her expression. "I sense all is not well," she said quietly.
"What do you mean?" she answered, moving toward the screened door. "Nothing's wrong," she added, her voice catching on her words.
"Beneath the smiles and kisses you both look miserable."
"We're not!" she insisted, opening the door to the parlor. "Everything is fine—"
"You're not fine," Arlene insisted, closing the door behind her. "Your eyes follow his every move as if you haven't eaten in days and he's your next meal."
"Arlene!" she gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. She shook her head at the woman's boldness but couldn't deny it was true.
"I want to know what's going on, or rather what's not going on," Arlene demanded in a whisper. "And don't offer that pitiful excuse of a marriage of convenience!"
"It's hardly an excuse," she defended, "we agreed to it and that's what Erik wants—"
"He does not—anyone with eyes can see that!" Arlene nearly spat. "The way he looks at you," she gasped, fanning her face, "we can all feel the heat."
Meg turned toward the table and began to clear the remains of their meal. "I don't want to talk about it—it's wrong to gossip."
"It's not gossip if it can do some real good!"
"Talking doesn't seem to help," she sighed, pausing to meet Arlene's accusing gaze. "His future is so uncertain, Arlene; and he's only thinking of me—"
"Do you want him as your protector, or your husband?"
"My husband, of course!"
"Then you cannot afford to play games, Meg!"
She shook her head in confusion. "Erik doesn't play games."
"If you don't want to lose that man you had better do something to make sure he knows it, without leaving any room for doubt, and quickly."
"How can I?" she protested, "he insisted on the arrangement and as my husband he's my authority—"
"Mere words!" Arlene said, waving a hand in dismissal. "What do his eyes tell you when he looks at you, or touches you? That is where the truth lies, cherie! Those speak volumes of truth more powerfully than words."
Meg sat down in frustration, suddenly ashamed for insisting Erik act the part of the loving husband. "I agreed to the marriage of convenience with the condition that we act like a loving couple when in public," she admitted.
"That was no act," Arlene answered, pulling out a chair and sitting to face her. She took her hand and waited until she looked up. "Pieter and I have counseled many couples in our lifetime, some who were well into their marriages and facing serious problems. All marriages have misunderstandings which need to be cleared by truth and honesty."
"What are you saying, Arlene?"
"Could it be that your husband believes he has nothing to offer you, or that he is afraid you will change your mind about him once the pressures of daily living begin to interfere?"
She felt her eyes flood with tears and nodded. "That's exactly what he feels, deep inside, but I don't know how to convince him he's wrong."
"I believe you do, if you're brave enough," Arlene soothed, leaning back in her chair. "Pieter and I will be praying for you both, but you do so as well. And follow your heart," she advised. "I can see the love he has for you, but it's up to you to convince him that he's everything you could ever want in a man—"
"He is, but he's acting like a doomed man headed for his own demise!"
"How can he not, Meg?" Arlene answered. "That may be his future, but you have to ask yourself if he is worth having, even if only for a short time."
"I already know that he is!"
"Good, then this is the perfect time to show him how much you love him and want him, regardless of the future."
"You are advising me to break our agreement?"
"Of course I am—he really needs you, probably even more than you need him."
Meg studied her a moment, not completely convinced. "I don't know if he needs me," she stated. "He's so strong and capable, and he's always been self sufficient—"
"And completely alone his whole life!" Arlene said passionately. "What do you see in his eyes, Meg?"
She shivered just remembering the need and desire in his heated gaze. "He does seem to let down his guard with me."
"That man has a vulnerability which is screaming for acceptance, and if you concentrate on that you'll know what to do."
"I worry about rushing him, especially after Christine's betrayal and rejection. He was deeply hurt, and I'm not sure I've earned his trust yet."
"Don't dismiss that sharp analytical mind of his, just circumnavigate it," Arlene said with conviction. "Go by his heart and his emotions, not his thoughts, then you'll have the key to a happy marriage."
Meg stared at her with dawning awareness, sitting back in her chair and feeling a sense of awe at Arlene's plan. It just might work, but it would certainly be a challenge. "You know, I think you're right, Arlene."
"Of course I'm right," she grinned, standing and planting her hands on her hips. "Now help me clean up this mess so you can go after him."
Meg stood and glanced out the window, noting the waves of heat dancing in the sunlight. "They don't want me around—"
"Ben has to come back early to check a patient," Arlene said, eyeing the empty yard beyond the window. "You can catch Erik while he's swimming…I'll walk with you until we're sure he's alone, then you take it from there."
"And do what?"
"Let him know how much you want him! He'll be too tired to protest, after working out in this heat."
Meg smiled impishly. "He did promise me a swimming lesson."
Arlene laid a hand on her arm and squeezed. "Even better! Now hurry and help me get these things soaking so we can get to the lake on time."
2007 by Christine Levitt