He's Not Dead Yet

I am so sorry it's taken so long for me to update, but I need to put work before pleasure. At least my classes were enjoyable this semester. I wanted to update this story and my other fics for the longest time but I never seemed to have time to think about anything other than my assignments. I did find enough free time to find a new favorite HP fanfic. It's "Faery Heroes" by Silently Watches; it's really good, if a bit dark, and I highly recommend reading it.

I don't own Harry Potter.

I've Fallen off my Chair, Brian

Harry was sitting in Dumbledore's office, his feet propped up on the man's desk as he sat in the guest seat and smirked in that "you are so far up the creek without a paddle you're about to go over the freaking waterfall" kind of way as he watched old Dumbles getting verbally lashed into by Amelia Bones. The day was markedly improving from the events of several hours previous, and it was certainly lucky that no harm had come to either the Beauxbatons' champion or her little sister, otherwise Dumbledore would already be in a holding cell at the Ministry for his gross negligence.

"I assure you, Madam Bones, I had no idea-"

"Bullshite!" Amelia snapped. "You should have damn well made it your job to check what ramifications each task would have on the champions! It should have been plainly obvious that a girl of Veela heritage would already have an unfair disadvantage in a water-based event, to say the least of the fact that water and fire beings have a well-known feud.

"I'm up to my neck in work as it is without you adding even more to the list, and much of what I already have to deal with I am fairly sure you had something to do with. I warn you, Dumbledore, one more 'incident' like this will see me hauling you to the holding cells."

"Madam Bones, if I may?" Harry interjected and Amelia nodded for him to go ahead. "Headmaster Dumbledore, I must add my own two knuts to the conversation. If, as Madam Bones has already stated, another occurrence of this nature should arise, I would have no choice but to see you removed as headmaster of this school."

"But, Harry, you can't do that!" Dumbledore exclaimed.

Harry shot him with a piercing glare.

"I think you'll find that, as the legitimate owner of this school, I am well within my rights to remove someone I see as a danger to the students. You have already shown, time and again, that you do not keep the well-being of the children in your care as a priority. If I may be perfectly honest, the only reason why I haven't booted you out yet is because I know there are still those people out there who are foolish enough to still have trust in you and will likely do what they can to keep you from being convicted. I warn you now, though, that if something like this happens again then I will use whatever method I have to in order to ensure you are no longer a danger to either the students of Hogwarts or the public at large."

Harry stood up from his seat.

"Good day, Madam Bones." He then turned to glare at Dumbledore. "I give you no such good wishes, Headmaster."

With that, he departed to rejoin his friends at dinner.

Harry had already told the others to go in while he and Amelia had their "talk" with Dumbledore. The group of friends had just entered the Great Hall to wait for their unofficial leader, when Gregory Goyle approached the entourage, looking more serious and thoughtful than anyone had ever seen him. He stopped in front of Tracey and gave a polite and respectful bow.

"Miss Davis," he greeted in as dignified a voice as someone of his mental capabilities was able, "as I am sure you are aware, my family has received a betrothal offer from yours. However, I must regretfully decline the generous offer and I have already informed my parents that I shall not agree to any such contract as I have already found a more suitable prospect. I wish you all the best and intend no slight to you or the House of Davis. Good day." He gave a final bow and then retreated to Slytherin table, taking his place between Millicent Bulstrode and Vincent Crabbe.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever heard either of Malfoy's former bookends say so much in one sitting," Daphne said.

Tracey's face had broken into a wide grin. As soon as Harry walked through the doors, Tracey pounced on him, pulling him into a strong hug.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Um, you're welcome?" Harry said, not realizing what had just happened.

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the Ministry of Death, Shirley was standing in front of a large, ethereal blue substance that floated in a large taper from floor to a ceiling that was so high it could not be seen. In her hands, she held two crystal-like objects that closely resembled a set of thin knitting needles. The blue substance was known as the Tapestry of Fate and it possessed within it the very nature of time and space. The objects in Shirley's hands were the Time-Weavers, a set of instruments used by the Fates to determine the progression of human events.

"Let's see, how does this go again?" Shirley thought aloud. "Was it right, purl two, insert the weft through the…damn it, now I know why Mum said learning to knit was an important unlife skill."

"Need some help?" said three, monotone voices.

Shirley whipped around to see three very familiar female figures.

"Oh, hi, Clo, Sis, Attie, how are you doing?" Shirley said sheepishly. "I was just-"

"We know," said Clotho.

"We know everything," Lachesis added.

"We also know that if you move that next strand of the Tapestry then you will unleash a horrific plague of nightmarish proportions upon the Earth," Atropos concluded.

Shirley looked at the Time-Weavers as if they were a bomb about to go off. Suddenly, Atropos shoved Shirley out of the way and snatched back the Time-Weavers.

"For an angel of the MoD you really can be quite thick, you know that, right?" said Clotho.

"We know the Potter youth isn't making much progress with his future wives," said Lachesis.

"And if you had simply asked for our help, we would not have been averse to assisting you," said Atropos. "Kindly remember that we know everything that is, was, might be, should be, can be, and will be. Now get out of our Tapestry Room!"

Shirley hightailed it out of there as fast as she could.

"Heh, MoD agents," Clotho scoffed. "No matter how many times you tell them you can do your job, they have to get everything done their way."

"At least they did right with young Mr. Potter," said Lachesis. "But they should know that we've got everything under control now."

"Shall we pick up where Shirley was going to badly fail?" said Atropos.

"I think so," said Clotho. "The horrific plague can wait a few more millennia."

Together, the three infamous sisters of Fate set to work. Ordinarily, they just tried to let the universe work itself out and leave humans to their free will. Despite their name, the sisters preferred to leave Fate open to possibilities, lest they become liable for all the horrific things that befell humanity. Hey, it wasn't their fault that there were deranged psychos like Voldemort and Grindelwald who launched genocides against otherwise peaceful groups of people. That was just humans screwing themselves over because of their own prejudices and lack of compassion.

While the Fates often had a reputation for disregarding the feelings of others and were regarded in much the same light as Dumbledore as being manipulative, they were simply keepers of destiny and had little to no actual ability to influence events. At least they had enough free rein to do things like help Mr. Potter with his 'wives' situation.

Arthur Weasley rose from his seat to answer a knock at the door. He'd been mulling over the events of the past few months and was wondering just what he should do. His wife, a woman he'd been with for years, had been using him and had been ready to exploit Harry Potter just for the sake of money. He remembered going to the trial and seeing her in the interrogation chair; it was like he was seeing her for the first time for what she truly was, and it made his stomach turn. Molly had been the reason why he had stood up Abigail Marten back at Hogwarts when he had been mustering up the courage for ages to finally ask the pretty Muggle-born girl out. At the time, Arthur had simply thought it was his teenage hormones messing him up, but now that he knew the truth it was crushing that a possible happy relationship had been denied him because Love Potion Molly wanted things her own way.

The knocking became slightly more insistent.

"I'm coming," Arthur called out. With a somber sigh, he opened the door.

"Hello, Arthur."

Arthur was taken aback for a moment as he took in the sight of the woman standing at his front door. She was just a few inches shorter than he, with long, light brown hair and dark blue eyes. Her soft, round features, though clearly marked by the effects of middle age were warm and kind. It took him a moment, but he quickly recognized her.

"Abigail?" he replied. What a stroke of coincidence as he had just been thinking about her. If this were a story, Arthur thought, it would have been incredibly plot-convenient.

"I'm afraid I don't have much time to chat, but I wanted to drop by and say 'hello' to an old school friend who I will soon be working with at the Ministry," Abigail said.

"At the Ministry? Working together?" Arthur fumbled.

"Yes, I was just giving a post in Muggle Relations as a consultant. It's the strangest thing. I had tried to get a job there years ago but they turned me down because I 'didn't have the right connections,' but some changes have been going on and now the Ministry's more open to people of non-magical backgrounds like me."

Arthur smiled internally. He knew that Harry had been using his power in the Wizengamot to push for government reforms. His department had already been undergoing expansion and a bit of a rise in the budget.

"Abigail, would you care to come in for a cup of tea? I'd love to hear about what you've been up to since Hogwarts."

"Won't your wife mind?" Abigail asked. "Last I'd heard you were married to Molly Prewett."

"You mean you haven't heard about the love potion scandal Molly's gotten involved in?"

"Arthur, I'm afraid I haven't heard much in terms of current events in the magical world."

"Well, I suppose you could say I'm about to go through a divorce. How about we have that tea and I can tell you about it."

Abigail gave a friendly smile and followed him into the kitchen.

It was late in the evening and the six girls who were closest with Harry were sitting in the living area of the Founders' Quarters. Luna was grinning brightly as she pretended to be studying from a book on biology. She knew something was going to happen very soon. Being directly linked to the Fates had its benefits.

"Ladies, I do believe we have an opportunity open to us," she said suddenly.

"What is it, Luna?" said Hermione.

"What if I was to tell you that the Fates were about grant us our memories of the dystopian future that Harry came back in time from?"

"What is she talking abou-" Susan started only to be cut off as memories of a future that now no longer existed flooded her brain. The other girls all had similar looks of shock as they, too, began to see everything that happened in the other future.

Hermione's eyes were wide as she remembered following Harry on the quest for the Horcruxes, getting tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, and watching as Harry finally took down Voldemort. It was one thing to hear the events told to her by Harry, it was another to see them for herself. As she saw the years that followed the battle, less clear than the memories of the war itself, she saw the miserable life she had being married to Ron Weasley. Ron was always putting down her achievements at the Ministry just as he had to her academic endeavors. She saw long nights of fighting and of trying to convince Ron to go with her to a marriage counselor, but he was as stubborn and hot-headed as always. The more she saw, the angrier she became with the little prick. It was even worse than Harry had described that fateful Christmas that he told her, Neville, and Luna about being from the future.

Susan remembered how her Aunt Amelia had been murdered so suddenly by the Death Eaters and Voldemort. She was alone in the world. Her parents, her Uncle Edgar and his family, and finally her Aunt Amelia had all been ripped away from her, all because they didn't support a monstrous regime. Susan herself had been badly injured in the final battle, but she eventually recovered and became Harry's partner in the Auror Corps. She remembered how she had had to intervene when Ginny had begun to stalk Harry after the couple's divorce and how Ginny had put her in St. Mungo's for a month during a particularly bad confrontation.

Tracey shuddered as she saw her alternate future unfold. Without Harry to help her, the marriage contract with the Goyles had gone through. Tracey was one of a handful of Slytherins who chose to fight against the Death Eaters in the final battle, along with Daphne, Astoria, Blaise Zabini, and Theo Nott. Tracey had fought with everything she had because, with that marriage contract hanging over her head, she felt she had nothing to lose. The last thing she saw of her alternate future was a bright green flash from a Death Eater she recognized as Yaxley as his mask had fallen off in the fight.

Daphne's alternate future wasn't as bad. She'd survived the battle but had married Blaise Zabini simply to save herself from a debt the Greengrass family owed the Malfoys (who'd escaped justice once again). It wasn't that Blaise was a bad husband or that he mistreated her, it was just that once they were all older it became clear that Blaise was actually in love with Astoria, who'd fallen prey to Draco Malfoy calling in the debt and demanding one of the Greengrass sisters as a wife. Daphne had only married because she wanted to ensure Malfoy couldn't get his hands on the Greengrass fortune, as Draco had squandered his own. There had been nothing Daphne could do and both she and Astoria spent the rest of their lives in marriages they didn't want. So, it was still pretty bad.

Fay's future had been bright at the beginning. Fay had gone back to Hogwarts simply to help protect her friends and fellow students. Like Neville, she had stood up against the Carrows and had gotten badly beaten up for it. After helping the DA fight the Death Eaters, her family was still safe thanks to her mother taking the rest of them into hiding. Fay had then gone on to join the Holyhead Harpies as a Beater, where she had the unfortunate bad luck to have to work alongside Ginny Weasley. Fay and Harry became friends when Harry had stopped by to see the practices. Ginny hadn't liked that and had threatened Fay to keep away from Harry. Fay had ended up drinking regularly in order to help her nerves, which were constantly frayed because she had to work with Ginny. Her life came to an abrupt end when she had gotten into a shouting match with Ginny and suddenly found herself falling over the railing at the Quidditch stadium. While the memory was hazy, because she had been a bit tipsy at the time, she did know she hadn't fallen by accident.

Luna was the only one of the six who had already known what her future was to have been had Harry not come back in time. She would have gone on to marry Rolf Scamander, a nice boy but one who hadn't bothered to say anything to her while at school and who didn't really understand her eccentricities and felt she needed 'help' for it. It wasn't a bad life; it just wasn't as fulfilling as Luna would have wanted.

"It really is a good thing Harry came back in time, then, isn't it?" Luna said aloud.

"Oh my God," Fay exclaimed.

"It could've been worse."

"How could it have been worse?" Susan demanded.

"Well, you could've been killed in a cheese cauldron explosion," said Luna. "Or you could've been caught in the middle of the Great Owl Uprising."

"Do we even want to know what you're talking about, Luna?" said Hermione.

"Probably not. Some things are best left secret."

Author's Note: Yeah, I'm a romantic at heart and I felt that after years of being married to a shrew like Molly that Arthur at least needed someone to talk to, and who better than an old flame? You know, Rowling's casual attitude towards love potions really makes me wonder about her. Molly freely admitted in the third book that she had used a love potion at least once in her life, whether it was just an "innocent" little love potion to get Arthur to notice her is irrelevant. I'd like to see Rowling dismiss the dangers of love potions if a girl had been love potioned by a guy.

Also, I figured the reason why Harry would be so hesitant to make romantic advances to the girls is because he was mentally older than they. Plus, I wanted to experiment with creating the futures the girls would have had if Harry hadn't gone back in time. The thing about Hermione trying to get Ron to go to marriage counseling comes from a comment J.K. made about how Ron and Hermione actually weren't that well matched but they might work things out if they went to marriage counseling. Can you honestly see Ron going to counseling for anything?

Omake:

"Once, I was in love with someone who was young and beautiful and bright and free," said Arthur Weasley. "What ever happened to her?"

"You dumped her and married me," said Molly.