Disclaimer: I don't Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, if I did, I would be living on a nice beach.
Chapter 26
Dinner with the Inuzuka matriarch went off without a hitch, Tsume thought Haku was the sweetest thing and adopted her on the spot, much to the girls embarrassment.
Naruto put up with the teasing from the woman who had taken him into her home and didn't bat an eye at him sleeping with her daughter and two other women.
Anko sulked about having to work the exam.
"I just don't see why the old man wants us to run it."
"Look at it this way Anko-chan." Naruto said from his place on the floor before the fire surrounded by three women. Tsume was in her recliner sipping her evening wine. "We get to actually hunt down Genin and remove them from the exam. This is better than just letting them wipe out one another in the Forest."
Tsume snorted. "Only you and Anko think of that place as a playground. Everyone else has a healthy respect for the dangers there already."
"Oh, Tsume we respect the dangers, we just like the place as it gives a perfect example of equivalent exchange."
Anko snorted. "The little shits aren't ready. I can't believe that they entered them so under prepared."
"Well, Team 7 isn't around anymore." Hana said. She looked at Naruto. "Speaking, what will happen to the girl now that Hatake is a lawn ornament and the Uchiha is a permanent resident in his home?"
Naruto sighed. "She's been picked up by Anbu that was on patrol. Seems she's camped out in front of the Uchiha's abode for the whole week. She'll be undergoing mental evaluation and rehabilitation and returned to the academy."
"Back to the exam." Tsume said. "What do you mean you get to hunt down the Genin?"
Naruto smiled. "It says it all. The teams that survive Ibiki will be put in the field in the Forest. Each team will have a scroll they are to protect. Not only from other Genin, but from the exam proctors as well."
"And the fun thing is that they need two scrolls to enter the tower." Hana said having talked with Naruto about it earlier.
"One heaven, one earth." Naruto said with a grin. "If they can beat us, they'll get a scroll they're missing. Otherwise they hunt the other teams and take a chance."
Hana smirked as she looked at Anko. "Kiba will be in the exam."
The snake jonin's eyes lit up. "I get to torture the little shit?"
Tsume sighed. "I love my son Anko, I would prefer that he is returned in relatively good condition."
Anko pouted. "No fair."
Haku looked nervous. "We really can attack Genin?"
"We can't use any lethal jutsu's or anything higher than a C-rank." Naruto explained to the ice user. "The Oldman doesn't want us to be unfair and all that."
"Your abilities don't have ranks." Anko said.
"I've been meaning to ask Naruto." Tsume said getting the blonds attention. "Hatake, is he alive in that…statue?"
"Kind of. It would take a master alchemist to reverse the effects, and since I'm the only alchemist around, that's not going to happen. He's basically in a form of stasis; everything he is and was is made into the statue. If I reverse it he wouldn't know any time had passed, but he will be in pain as his body has been basically shutdown and muscles locked."
Tsume shuddered. "Remind me kiddo, if you ever get pissed at me, allow me to fall on a kunai."
"Nah, I love you too much. I'll just hand you to your daughter."
Tsume looked at her daughter. "I thought you loved me?" she mock whined to Naruto.
XX
(Shadows of an abandoned building)
Two figures speak
"It's been confirmed. Hatake is dead. The Kyuubi child turned him into a statue."
"And what of the Uchiha?"
"Under house arrest with some security seals milord."
"Kukuku. Fools. We'll leave him there for now. Make sure our people know to keep a low profile. Any slip ups and I will personally end them."
"As you command Master." The first figure says. "Where will you be?"
"Around. I am ashamed to say the lab I found in my youth has been removed. I had hoped to recover several texts to explain things more about Alchemy. My experiments aren't turning out as planned."
"Master, what if we captured the Kyuubi container. Reports say he has a power unlike any other."
"No. Keep low and do not approach. Study him, but do not fail me."
"I won't Lord Orochimaru." The figure said.
"Go. We can't meet again until after the second exam."
The first figure slunk away, Orochimaru stepped out of the shadows. "Locking the Uchiha away won't protect him, it's just made him an easier target."
Orochimaru vanished with a soft chuckle.
XX
The day of the exam came up and at the end of the first exam there was twenty-eight teams left.
Anko had been sent (under protest) to lead the remaining Genin to Training Ground 44, known to many as the Forest of Death.
Naruto smirked as Anko arrived, the Genin trailing behind her at a distance. "What did you do to them hime?" He asked. Behind him Haku and Hana were in the screened off area with the scrolls. The Haimaru Trio around the table to prevent anything funny from happening.
"Nothing. Can you believe Ibiki let eighty-four of the little shits pass?"
Naruto looked and sighed. "He's getting soft."
"I know. That's what I said." She looked over her shoulder. "I will say the Konoha Genin surprised me. Thought they'd be the first out."
Naruto smirked. "They've got guts."
"Or balls bigger than yours." Anko said with a lewd grin as the Genin formed a small crowd.
"Showtime." Naruto said and stepped forward. Ed balanced on his shoulder, both working hard to ignore Anko's attempts to get them to blush with several more whispered lewd comments as he passed.
"Alright, listen up." He said gaining their attention.
"HEY, YOUR OUR AGE!" a Genin from Rain yelled.
"And your point is?" Naruto asked, then continued on not letting him answer. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki-Elric. I am Konoha's Fullmetal Fox Alchemist. As of this moment know this. Your souls belong to Kami, but your asses are mine."
A shudder swept the gathered Genin as the blond before them lashed out with killing intent that made one Genin crap himself in fear.
"Behind these walls is the most dangerous training ground in Konoha. To some it's affectionately called The Forest of Death. To Anko-hime and I, this is our playground. Right now my brother is passing out release forms. It needs your signature so that Konoha is not held liable if you are badly injured or should you die."
Genin looked at the tall suit of armor with glowing red eyes handing out papers and pens.
"You mean we can kill?" one genin asked eagerly.
"Yes." Naruto said and waited before adding, "And that gives us the right to kill you."
"What?"
"When you bring up your release forms for your squad you will be given a scroll."
Anko held up a heaven and earth scroll.
"Over the next five days you will need to acquire the opposite scroll in order to enter the tower that is in the center of the forest." Naruto paced back and forth for a bit as he looked them over. His eyes rested on the Grass nin and the one with the bamboo hat had way too much chakra for a genin.
Making a note to keep an eye on her, Naruto continued. "During the next five days it is a free-for-all survival test. You will need to outwit other teams, as well as avoid the Chunin and Jonin in the forest, as well as the natural eco-system of giant tigers, bugs, plant life and whatnot."
"Why do we have to face higher ranked ninja?" Kiba asked from where he was with his teammates.
Naruto smiled at his long time friend. "Because in life you will be faced with such obstacles." Naruto said, not telling the Genin that the gathered proctors couldn't use anything higher than C-rank offensive jutsu's.
His eyes spotted a mob of red hair and smiled seeing Gaara and his sister. He noted the stuffed raccoon clutched to his friends chest and could nearly hear it's growls. He noted Gaara's older brother was with them, but still standing several paces away.
Talk with them later. I have a job to do now. he thought as the first few teams entered the blind to hand in their forms and get their scrolls.
"Suna sent a couple teams." Anko remarked as they stood near the table.
"I see Gaara's here." Naruto said.
"You're not going to play favorites are you?"
Naruto shot his lover a look and she grinned. "Didn't think so." She said. "Can we go after Hana's brother first?"
Naruto laughed and it chilled the blood of Team 10 as they froze entering the blind.
"Naruto-kun, stop scaring them." Hana mock scolded. "We'll get to hunt them soon."
"Sad they get a twenty minute head start." Anko said seeing Team 8 approaching.
"We've got to give them some chance hime." Naruto said.
"Bring it." Kiba said and winced when his teammates slapped him across the back of the head.
"Kiba-kun, that's not nice."
"Its just my sister and her…" here Kiba paused and looked at Naruto, Anko and Hana. "You know what, I don't want to know." He took the scroll and had Akamaru swallow it.
Several more teams came and went, it was Gaara's time and he looked at them while Temari got the scroll and handed in the forms. "Uzumaki-sama."
"FUCKING BASTARD!" Shukaku hissed loudly as the stuffed animal tried to get free. Gaara ignored it and looked at the man who freed him.
"Hey Gaara. Hope you and your siblings do well." Naruto said with a grin. "Regardless, we'll hook up later and talk some."
Gaara nodded. "I would like that Uzumaki-sama."
"Naruto. You're my friend Gaara, call me Naruto." The blond said.
Gaara blinked several times. Temari stepped up and handed him the scroll.
"What's this I hear you have three women already Naruto-kun?" the fan user asked with hands on hips.
Naruto looked at Anko and Hana, both growled and were making mental decisions to eliminate the fan girl (intended pun).
"Well ummm…Good luck in the exam." Naruto said trying to avoid the question and the consequences.
Temari got a grin. "How about if I win, I get a date?" she said and before any of the other women could say no or do anything, Temari leaned in and stole a kiss before walking away with her hips swinging.
Gaara looked from his sister to the whisker marked blond. "I am not kissing you." The sand user said and walked away followed by his brother who just grunted.
Naruto dazed from the pounce kiss said nothing. Three women however were radiating killing intent that the next team that came up from Iwa turned around and quit before handing in their forms.
AN: The next exam kicks in as Team Alchemy roams the forest. What will they do, who will they encounter, and will Owen stop being a gas bag? Next time on Total Drama…
Whoops, wrong mind. Episode 27 "Forest of Death"
PS: No chapter next week, gone till the first weekend of December, hope you all have a nice thanksgiving.