A/N: Sorry for the late post. I had a volleyball tournament for most of Saturday and then it was my friends birthday so she had a party. Needless I did not have access to a computer all weekend. But, better late than never right. (Philinda flashback because I love them and really want them together). Okay I'm done.
Summary: Melinda Qiaolian May has been an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. for most of her life, but all the training in the world could have never prepared her for the challenge she was facing. She had to let go, but when she looked into those soft nut brown eyes, she knew in that moment she would never let go.
Excuse any misspellings and grammar mistakes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or any of the characters used.
Chapter Twenty-Five
(Years Ago)
Phil had called and left over fifty voice mails trying to contact Melinda. Two days ago they had returned from their mission in Monte Carlo. For some reason, Melinda had just disappeared refusing to answer her phone. Phil didn't bother her yesterday because he wanted give her some space, but now he was worried. All his thoughts going to the worst case scenarios.
Was she hurt? Had she been kidnapped? Of course Phil knew Melinda could handle herself, but it didn't mean he worried any less. Melinda was his best friend, he would go to the end of the world for her. It was almost midnight and Phil was growing restless.
He was walking down the dark streets heading down to her apartment. Every three hours he came by to see if she was there and if she was, she never answered or gave any sign she was home. It made him anxious. Once he made it to her complex, he didn't bother taking the elevator, he just bolted up the stairs until he was at her door.
"Melinda," he said and knocked on the door, "Melinda are you in there?"
For several moments it was silent, but then Phil heard glass shatter. His heart skipped several beats as he pulled out the key to her apartment. She had given it to him in case of an emergency.
Phil opened the door and called, "Melinda!"
As soon as he walked down her hallway he saw feathers lying all around. Confusing washed over him as he walked into her kitchen. The sink was running and overflowed spilling onto the floor where little pieces of glass were. Quickly he turned the sink off, not caring that he was he was stepping on the glass. All he could think of was Melinda.
"Mel," he called and made his way to the living where he found her.
She was sitting in front of the couch where he coffee table used to be. It was now on her right, the glass spread all across the floor. Her couch was flipped back, the side tables were on the ground and one of them was in pieces.
"Melinda," Phil asked as he walked over to her, "What happened in here Mel? Did someone break in, were you attacked?"
Melinda only stared ahead at the wall in front of her. She was not in a talking mood, she was not in the mood to do anything, but sit there and stare. Phil knew Melinda was always quiet, but this silence was different than what he was used to. Something bad must have happened here.
"Mel," Phil whispered, he bent down beside her avoiding the glass, "Melinda, look at me."
Melinda turned her head slowly to look at Phil with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Her brown eyes were dark and hollow instead of the usual spark that they held.
"What happened," Phil asked softly, "I've been trying to reach all day."
Melinda choked back a sob, she had a breakdown yesterday in her apartment, but hadn't had the energy to clean the mess or do anything. Her head hurt, her stomach was upset and her throat hurt from the screaming and crying.
When Melinda didn't answer, Phil noticed her hands were red with blood and covered in cuts from the glass.
Knowing she wasn't going to talk anytime soon he said, "Alright, come on, let's clean you up."
His firm, but soft hands wrapped around Melinda's wrist. Slowly he stood and pulled her up with him, on any other day she would have made a joke about this, but now she was quiet. Her mind was reeling and her heart hurt. Melinda was barefoot wearing a black tank top and light blue pajama pants.
Phil realized he couldn't have her walk to the kitchen with all the glass everywhere, sure he could clean it up, but he needed to keep an eye on Melinda. She wasn't acting like herself. Quickly he scooped her up in his arms before she could protest and started walking.
"I could have walked," Melinda muttered bitterly.
Phil smiled, "Yeah barefoot on the floor covered in glass. I don't think so."
Melinda rolled her eyes, but let him carry her to the kitchen. He set her down on the island in her kitchen before turning to one of the cabinets where the first aid kit was. Phil went over to the sink, grabbed a hand towel from the the side drawer and soaked it in warm water. In the silence Phil looked at her hands and checked to make sure there were no little pieces of glass. He found two pieces in her left hand and one in her right hand.
"I thought something bad happened to you," Phil said softly as he got the first piece of glass out, "You really had me worried there Mel."
"I'm sorry," Melinda whispered hoarsely.
Phil took the second piece of out, "It's okay. I'm here now."
Once Phil got the last piece of glass out, he grabbed the first-aid kit and warm towel. He took her left hand into his and cleaned off the blood trying not to irritate the cuts to much. Luckily they had stopped bleeding and he wanted to keep it that way.
Melinda tried not to focus on the sting from her cuts and instead focused on the way Phil handled her wounds with care. He was gentle, tender, but still firm. Melinda watched as Phil worked, all his attention was on her hands. All his attention was on her.
Phil moved to her right hand, "Do you want to tell me what happened? As soon as we got back, I hear you took off and took time. I tried calling, leaving messages on your phone."
Melinda swallowed, "I… had a minor.. breakdown."
"If this is minor, I'd hate to see you at your worst," Phil said earning a slight chuckle from Melinda.
Phil loved the sound of his partner's laugh. To him it sounded like bells. Once her hands were clean, Phil pulled out a cream similar to Neosporin, but much stronger and some gauze. Carefully he rubbed the cream over her cuts and wrapped the gauze around her hands.
"They should heal in a week or two," Phil said once he was done, "Now, care to tell me why you had a 'minor' breakdown in your apartment and why you just took off?"
Melinda stared at her hands, "How many missions have we been on?"
"Ten," Phil answered unsurely.
Melinda nodded slowly, "Ten missions, at least fifty times we could have died… I've already killed thirty people… made some tough calls... I'm torn Phil."
Phil took Melinda's wrapped hands into his own and held them gently, "I know."
Being a field agent was never easy. Every new agent goes through a period where they realize what it means to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Sure at the academy they tell them what it takes to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and what it means to be one, but each new agents makes the discovery. What it means to them specifically to be an agent.
Everyone has a defining moment outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. then they have a defining moment in S.H.I.E.L.D. Melinda had an idea of what her defining moment at S.H.I.E.L.D. was or would be, but now she figured this was it.
"Being an agent, it forces you to make hard choices and sometimes they'll be choices you won't want to make," Phil told her softly.
Melinda looked up at him, "What if I can't handle it? What if I crumble and fall apart? I feel like I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to do anymore."
"I know you Mel, what has happened does not define who you are, it helps you to become who you want to be," Phil said, "You are a great person and amazing agent. Yes bad things happen, but that's life. Is it hard sometimes to just walk away, to stay calm when the rest of the world is crashing down? Yes, but we signed up for this and we will get through it together."
"Will we," Melinda asked hoarsely, "This is only the beginning Phil, things are only going to get harder and I'm… I'm afraid of what I'll become… I'm afraid of what will happen when everything changes because nothing lasts forever."
Phil smiled, "I know some things that will last forever." May scoffed and Phil went on, "You mean a lot to me Mel, nothing will ever change that…. I want you to focus on what I tell you next and I want you to know I mean it. No matter what has happened, no matter what you've done, no matter what you will do. I will always and stand by love you, I swear it."
Melinda kept her mouth closed since she had no words to say. Phil had been her closest friend for years, he was always there for her and she knew he meant what he said.
They've said I love you to each other before, but it was never in a romantic way. However right then, Melinda wished it was. Phil stared at Melinda waiting to see her reaction, he did love her and would always be there for her. He just needed her to know that he would always be there for her.
"Do you believe me," Phil asked gently.
Melinda nodded, "I do."
"Good," Phil smiled, "Now let's clean this place up a bit, make some popcorn, drink some wine and watch a movie."
Melinda only smiled in reply.
(Not sure how much time passes between the episodes Yes Men and End of the Begining, so let's just say it was less than a week)
Agents Garrett and Triplett were helping Coulson in his search for the Clairvoyant and their best case scenario was the Index. Really the ones who were rejected from the Index was what they were interested in. Although the list had a few candidates, it was still a long shot, but the only shot they had at finding the Clairvoyant before it was too late.
Coulson sent a message to the highest ranked members of S.H.I.E.L.D. minus Fury since he was unreachable at the moment. This group of members was composed of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finests. Victoria Hand, John Garrett, Agent Sitwell and Blake arrived with Triplet to hold a meeting with Coulson on the BUS.
"Cruising altitude just reached," May informed their guest, "Bearing 90 degrees just over the North Pole."
"Thank you," Coulson told her and she nodded.
"Apologies for the song and dance," Garrett said, "But we brought you here as precaution."
Sitwell asked, "A precaution against what?"
"The Clairvoyant," Coulson answered, "If there is someone out there who can read minds, at least up here we're as far away from him as possible."
"Figured maybe the Northern Lights will knock a few bars off his psychic wifi," Garrett said sarcastically.
Blake sighed, "Coulson, you know S.H.I.E.L.D.'s stance on psychics. They don't exist."
"Are you sudden;y a believer," Hand asked with a smirk.
Coulson answered, "Not definitely, but I had a recent experience with an Asgardian who could bend people's will with her voice. Forced me to open my mind so to speak."
"All we know for sure is the Clairvoyant's been a step ahead of us, stealing plays from our playbook," Garrett explained.
Coulson added bitterly, "And it's pissing me off. I take it you've all read Garrett's latest report?"
Sitwell answered, "The hit on the safe house. Mr Peterson's alive and kicking."
"We call him Deathlok," May said and Ward finished, "It was the project's code name."
"Agent Garrett and I have been tracking him the last few weeks," Trip explained.
"We think the Clairvoyant's super-soldier bodyguard came after us for a reason," Garrett said, "We're getting close."
"To what, his identity," Hand asked unconvinced.
Coulson and Garrett exchanged a look before Garrett replied, "We've narrowed the list to 13 candidates."
Blake asked, "Narrowed it how? From what?"
Coulson answered him, "Agent Garrett has been taking a second look at S.H.I.E.L.D.'s gifted Index, specifically the rejects."
"Individual S.H.I.E.L.D. interviews who are believed to have psychic abilities, but were ultimately dismissed," Garrett explained.
Sitwell clarified, "So you think we've encountered the Clairvoyant before."
"Think about how many cases we've encountered across the globe," Coulson said, "How many cases have we vetted. It's more than possible, it's probable."
"I need more coffee," Blake said trying to process everything Coulson had said.
Hand spoke next, "Let's assume what you're saying is possible. What then? If we're going up against an actual Clairvoyant, how do you suggest we combat that?"
"By compartmentalizing the information," Garrett replied.
"A member of my team is an expert at pattern recognition and analysis, finding needles in haystacks," Coulson said, "She'll prioritize the candidates on Garrett's list, locate them then pair us off into random teams."
"That way only one person knows the full scope of the mission," Garrett adds.
"You do realize she would need to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to be granted that level of access," Hand says and glances at May.
"I'm glad you brought that up," Coulson smiles.
May and Coulson had talked a little while ago about making Skye an official agent. This way she would be apart of S.H.I.E.L.D. rather than a consultant. Skye was downstairs getting more blood drawn from Fitz-Simmons. She had healed remarkably well and could now walk around with only minimal pain in her abdomen. May believed Skye was ready for this. They all did.
Ward went down and told Skye to come upstairs, she had a mini heart attack when Ward said top brass wanted to see her. Fitz-Simmons merely exchanged a look as Skye left upstairs with Ward.
"Am I in trouble," Skye asked Ward as they headed up.
Ward shook his head, "No, you don't have anything to worry about."
They walked over to the other agents and Skye gave May a slightly panicked look. May gave her a calm look in reply, trying to tell her daughter she wasn't in trouble and everything was fine.
"Hello Skye," Coulson said, "There's something I want to go over with you."
Coulson explained to Skye and she nodded along agreeing with him. When he was done, she spoke up.
"Pairing off makes total sense," Skye said, "Just one thought though, what if we make it a double-blind?"
"How so," Hand questioned.
Skye explained, "Well I'll give one person from each team the potential Clairvoyant's coordinates and I'll give the other one the identity. That way no one person knows the full specs of the op until you get there."
Coulson smiled at Skye proudly and saw May do the same. In that very moment, May felt a rush of pride for her daughter and a burst of excitement. She knew her daughter was going to freak out when she learned what Coulson had in store for her.
May slipped out downstairs to grab Fitz-Simmons and tell them what was happening.
"I like how you think," Garrett said then reiterated, "I like how she thinks."
Skye frowned, "One question, how am I supposed to access all the classified files without someone in the room, I don't have clearance."
Coulson grinned, "Now you do, welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Skye."
When Skye saw Coulson pull out the badge, she felt her heart soar with happiness. This was what she wanted, to be apart of something and now she officially was. Skye looked into Coulson's eyes and saw pride in them. She looked over to see her mom and Fitz-Simmons walk in.
"I told them to come up," May smiled at her.
Skye was shocked, but she was so happy. Words could not express how happy she was in that moment. She looked around the room before looking back at the badge, her badge.
"I- I, I don't know what to say," Skye said breathlessly, "Thank you."
"Don't thank me, you've passed every required S.H.I.E.L.D. exam with flying colors," Coulson told her, "You've assisted us on multiple field missions, put your life on the line… You earned this."
"Hell you took two in the gut," Garrett smiled, "More than Sitwell here's ever done."
Skye bit her lip hard, willing herself not to cry in front of everyone. She was an agent, an official agent. Skye looked up at her mother and felt her joy doubled when she looked into May's eyes. They were so full of pride, love and happiness.
It was a look she had never seen before.
"Okay everyone," Coulson said, "back to work."
"Congratulations," Garrett said to her.
"Thank you," Skye breathed still in shock.
May hugged Skye tightly and whispered to her, "I am so proud of you sweetheart."
Skye smiled at her mom's words before they split the hug. Fitz-Simmons hugged Skye next telling her congratulations, before they had to go back down and work. Now it was just Ward and Skye.
"Couldn't have done it without a great and very patient S.O." Skye said with a soft smile.
Ward smiled, "Yeah could have. I'm no Clairvoyant, but I do believe some things are meant to be."
With that Ward walked away and Skye was left alone with her heart racing and head spinning. This was the best day ever. Sitwell and Hand to depart while Garrett, Blake and Trip stayed to help. Once Skye had finished setting up the list, she called Garrett in and gave him his phone which would link to his partner's.
The two of them had a nice talk, Garrett told her something that stuck among other things and it made her think about Ward, Coulson, Fitz-Simmons and her mom. Sitting in the cage she replayed the thought, Guess it's the difference between fighting against something and fighting for something, or someone.
Although Garrett had been talking about Ward her mind went to all the people she cared about on this plane. They were her family and she loved them with every part of her. Right then Skye made them all a promise, she would fight for them, no matter what.
Teaser
"Don't talk about her!"
" He pushed all the right buttons."
"No, he's a ghost."
"Yes mom."