Author's note- Once again thank you for all the feedback guys…..I know I sound repetitive but it honestly helps me finish the next installments. So thanks…Also sorry for not updating this one right away. I have been really obsessive about Harry Potter lately, I have this really long and detailed fanfic lined up for that (supper exited….) and Pottermore has had me distracted…(I think I am the only one who is disappointed by her questions…..so much for a challenge).I got in though, so now I'm back to this. Anyways enjoy the chapter…..

Chapter 26

While Peeta and Katniss sleep, I mourn Mags. I miss Annie. I catch a mess of shellfish and fill woven bowls.

Just to remind me of her, I knock my first bowl over and let them spill out like Annie would, but then I catch them again because she's in 4 and I'm here. These kids need to eat. At some point we'll either have to battle the other victors or we'll have to escape. Possibly both. Food is fuel and they'll need it.

When the girl wakes, I hope I don't look as weepy as I feel. I focus on the crayfish and tell her how she shouldn't wait to eat them. They get rubbery and they're hard to chew and swallow then.

She's scratching her little scabs where the salt water healed the acid bites of the mist. There's blood. I need to lighten the mood. Not for her but for me. "You know, if you scratch you'll bring on infection."

She goes to the water to wash and heal and a parachute of ointment descends. She rubs it in and she looks hideous. I like it. I tell her she's decomposing. I feign like I'm not going to use any because my vanity is too much, but I don't care what I look like. I hope everyone thinks I'm hideous too as I rub it on.

She teases me when she says, "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven't looked pretty?"

I like the way she says it. It reminds me of my brother when we were younger. It feels carefree, like being out on the boat and knowing that you've got the responsibility to help haul in the fish, but also knowing that your father will do the bulk of it, so you can goof off just a little.

"It must be," I answer her. "The sensation's completely new. How have you managed it all these years?" It's something I would've said to my brother.

"Just avoid mirrors. You'll forget about it."

Katniss feels like a sister. It's like how I feel about Johanna. Johanna is my serious sister who can't joke about much and Katniss is my sister who can be so very deadly but keep her good humor.

"Not if I keep looking at you." She helps me with putting it on my back and I help her. Then we decide to wake Peeta, so we get in close and she sings his name.

We do what we intend. We scare him and he sits up with a loud noise. She and I laugh and laugh and it feels like we're just having fun in the sand. Peeta tries his best to put on his reproachful father face, but it just makes her giggle harder. I give a whole-hearted belly-laugh at her fits of giggles.

A parachute falls and I feel like I'm back in my first Games. There's excitement deep in my belly.

It's a green loaf of bread and I ache. I grab it and know the action could be seen as greedy. I never once think about keeping it for myself, it's just… This is bread from Annie. This is the bread that continues to save me. I turn it over and over in my hands as I think about her telling me she sent it to me when I was just fourteen and she was only twelve. I think about sending her the loaf during her Games. I think about the many times she baked this bread for us as a way to share the salvation we felt together.

I'm seriously on the verge of breaking down, but I can't. These kids have to trust in me. Crying and sobbing and wailing for Annie will only drive them to think I'm weak. She'll try to kill me for sure then because in her mind, I'll be easy to pick off, and it would be better for her to kill me sooner rather than later.

"This will go well with the shellfish," I say, my voice deep with emotion. I don't know if they catch it because she starts lathering Peeta with the ointment.

I busy myself cleaning my morning catch.

The playfulness I felt is gone. In its place is a deep longing to be back in Annie's arms and to feel her lips on my forehead while her fingers tangle in my hair. I want to breathe in her scent and feel the hollow of her neck on my lips, her legs wrapped around me as if she thinks if she lets me go, the tide will sweep me away from her and we'll be lost to each other forever.

I feel sick with the longing. I curse myself for not letting Kinnon volunteer. He has a bum hip and fingers that can't curl anymore. He would've died in here, but at least it would've been his choice. I might die in here and Annie will be forced to watch it. Over and over again.

How could I have done this to her?

Only the wave of water across the arena can pull my thoughts away. There is a yell, a scream. I don't move quickly because I know the tide won't rise fast enough to hurt us, but I get up and start collecting our things.

I hear the cannon. Another victor killed. I don't want to think about who it is.

As soon as we start to settle back down by the water, Katniss says, "There," and points down the beach. People come toward us and we retreat a little.

I squint, trying to make it out. A smile pulls on my face. "Johanna!" I am so happy to see her. I start running before I realize I'm even moving.

She calls for me and I can't help but feel part of my lonely ache subside. She's not Annie. I don't love her the same way, but she is part of who I am. She knows the real Finnick and she still likes me…most of the time. She knows my history. She's helped me care for Annie. Johanna doesn't question my love. She doesn't mutter mean things about the girl who's not quite right in her head.

Johanna is acceptance and I love her for it.

She has Beetee and Wiress with her. I give her a quick hug when I get to her and then she uses her clipped voice to fill me in on her experiences in this arena. She's annoyed and I am so happy to hear it. It sounds like Johanna!

Once Peeta and Katniss join us, she tells us that Blight was killed by the force field. Blight was the other victor from 7.

"I'm sorry, Johanna," I say, but she underplays the pain of losing him. Johanna has always been in tight control of her emotions and rarely expresses how she is really feeling. It's something I admire about her.

Wiress is tick-tocking and it's bizarre, but it reminds me of Annie and her birds.

Johanna's had enough though. She's stressed and has even less patience than normal. Katniss says something about it and Johanna slaps her hard. She starts going off, but before she can say anything too damaging I fling her over my shoulder and wade out into the water with her. She's screaming.

I understand her frustration, but she was on board with this rebellion before I was, so I dunk her repeatedly until she settles down. It's therapeutic, both for her and me.

Finally when she's finished, she runs her hands down her face, and then swipes at her soaking hair. "I hate this."

I nod at her and then throw a glance up at shore. The kids are helping Nuts and Volts. "If it helps, I think they're worth it."

She grumps and then shakes her head. "You think everyone's worth it. You're like the old lady at the end of the lane that takes in every stray that passes by."

I smile, but know what she's saying isn't true. There were many strays that I would never let in. The only one was Annie and Johanna knows it.

I swim for a while as she scrubs herself clean, when we emerge, the kids have taken excellent care of Beetee and Wiress. Johanna eats and drinks like crazy and asks me about what's happened to me since the last time she's seen me.

I tell her, but I don't mention Mags.

I can't.

She doesn't ask.

Later that night, as she takes a guard watch with Katniss, I know she'll ask.

I make sure I fall asleep quickly with thoughts of Annie's smile and slender ankles.