Author's Note: Oh my god! I hadn't realized it had been so long since I updated this. I recently finished one of my original stories that had taken most of my time lately. I decided to come back to this. It was really the next chapter that was giving me so much trouble. Thankfully, I've read through the story again to familiarize myself with it and the ideas just returned. I'm going to try to keep the chapters coming. With this chapter, a whole new portion of the story will begin.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave your feedback in the reviews. I may not reply to every review, but I always read them, save them in my email.
25. Change
Robyn
Opening my eyes, I looked around to see beautiful flowers before me. A smile ghosted over my lips as I walked toward them. My fingers twirled through the air above the flowers trying to pick one. Unfortunately, my hand never met the soft petals as the sky darkened. It was once a beautiful blue but turned stark gray before my eyes. Rain fell from the heavens drenching me almost instantly. Though instead of thunder, I heard the shrill of gun fire.
Turning swiftly around, I saw a group of confederate soldiers. They were in full uniform walking toward their enemy from the north. Reaching down, I realized my clothes had changed, altered into a thick dress that I could not run in. I pulled up the skirt of the dress and ran through the rain toward the battle just before me.
"Excuse me, miss!" someone called, grabbing my arm.
Turning my head, I was surprised by the faceless man standing before me. It was just a huge blur where his face should have been.
"Why is the battle happening?! It's too close to the town!" I screamed with no recollection of this information.
The man sighed, removing his hat, and kicking at the ground. "It was chosen for us. This battle rages with us now, but it will be over later rather than sooner we hope. Unless we give up early and it's sooner rather than later."
I shook my head not understanding his words. "This makes no sense! They will kill innocent people doing this!"
He looked up and for a moment, I felt I knew him at some point. None of this made any sense at all.
"Sometimes people make that choice to be with the ones they love," he said before returning his hat to his head.
A horse appeared next to him which he climbed on. "Take care, miss. Try not to be at the battle. Don't want you catchin' the fire."
Before I knew it, he was jogging away on the horse.
If it were possible, the rain began to fall harder. I felt cold to the bone suddenly. It felt like mere minutes the solider had gone, but I was beginning to realize that time had no meaning wherever I was. I couldn't remember a thing before this strange place, but something told me it had been a good place.
The question remained, why was I suddenly here? Transported through time to the civil war era. I walked through the rain with no destination in mind. I was so cold I could barely stand, but I refused to give in. As I continued to walk, thoughts began to filter into my head. I remembered that I had people waiting on me after this. They deserved someone that would fight for them, they had never been fought for. In that moment, I realized I loved them both, but couldn't remember them. I felt that amazing feeling when I thought about the mystery people, but could not formulate their faces.
Suddenly I heard screams. My head snapped up. There was a huge compound on fire, huge flames swallowing up the structure. My eyes were immediately glassy from the pain of the screams and the smoke that filtered in the air. I walked closer toward the screams which had suddenly turned into loud roars. For a split second, I thought it were animals, lions, or tigers, caught in the flames until I heard the high pitch scream of a woman and then silence.
Suddenly something snapped behind me. Turning around, I was mystified to find a man walking past the fire looking around worriedly. His face too was blurred out, I couldn't figure out who he was. He appeared distraught staring at the building and then suddenly screaming loudly. He moved too fast for me to see him, but I could tell it was not good news he would find.
I moved toward him hoping to reach for his arm, but he snapped out of my grip.
"They're gone. It's all my fault...I shouldn't have let him let me leave. I should have fought..." he muttered in a daze.
I moved toward him not caring that he pulled out of my grip, and turned him around. Stepping into his embrace, I wrapped my arms around him because I could not stand to see the pain etched on his face.
"It's going to be okay..." I whispered. Just like that, his arms wrapped around me and I felt nothing but heat. A heat so overwhelming, I immediately tried to pull away. Instead, he gripped my body closer, tighter. It was almost as if the flames from the compound had reached us, engulfing us whole.
"You have to fight, Robyn. Fight with everything in you. We know you can do it," he suddenly said pulling my head up toward his blurry face. "Just think of who you'll have once this is all over. Just concentrate on that. On what and who you want to remember. It's all on you now. We've done our part, it's time you showed us that you can be the mate of the Major and his captain."
Suddenly he released me as I stared at him. Looking down, I screamed as the fire began to consume my very being.
The pain which resonated inside of me was incredibly intense. The fire of my dreams was an accurate description of what I was going through. Pain had always been my weakness. I had plenty of burn scars from accidents involving cooking which always hurt like hell. This was a million times worst. I was postive that someone had me over a huge fire pit burning me into pieces. I was probably turning into quite the chard mess on the bars of the fire pit. The only thing I could feel was the pain of the fire which burned throughout my body. Everything hurt and I couldn't think past it. I knew instantly I was beginning to panic, but I felt immobilized. I couldn't even move, to scream, tell them to stop this ache inside of me.
Maybe a tub of acid would have felt better than this.
As the fire continued with no signs of letting up, I tried to move past this. If I could just block out the worst of the pain, I might be able to figure out how the hell I got to this point. I realized in that time, maybe minutes, seconds, hell even hours, that the pain when it was strongest, was reality. Maybe I could fight off the harsh darkness and crazy dreams of the past. I hated this reality the longer I allowed the fire to consume me, though I didn't have much choice.
There was another thought that slipped past the fire for only a moment. Why wasn't I dead? At this point, I should be dead. No one could survive like this with a fire raging inside them so strongly they can't even fight back. Maybe my arms and legs were burned off which was the reason I couldn't move them. Then again, I could feel them still attached as the fire burned through everything inside of me. That's when I realized something. The fire was inside of me, not on the outside. I was burning from the inside out. At the realization, I wanted to scream that someone just kill me, get it over with already.
Then, suddenly the fire seemed to cool. The pain was taken away for just a second or two and I was able to think.
Two faces suddenly appeared in my mind's eye. Two people's faces, one with startling red eyes and one with beautiful enriching golden eyes. Peter and Jasper.
It had finally come to me. The dreams were my subconscious trying to remind me. I remembered the stories of Jasper in the civil war and Peter searching the compound in desperation trying to find Jasper. My subconscious knew I would instinctively want to protect him, hating to see him in any kind of pain. Despite not knowing it was him, our connection fueled my response. Now that I had two reasons to fight this, I had to figure out what was going on. The fire was still pushed away allowing me to think.
I remember moans, groans, and shredding of clothes before the horrible burning. It didn't make sense. Where were Jasper and Peter? Why didn't they stop this horrible burn that I felt coursing through my veins?
Before the thoughts could turn sideways, the fire was back, more intense than ever. I wanted to scream for them to take the burn away again, but something screamed against it. I didn't know what it was, but something inside of me was fighting back against my human instincts for survival. Suddenly just when I thought the fire could not burn any worst, it rushed through my veins anew, stronger than ever fueled by a new source. It all concentrated toward my chest, rushing and burning it's own path to its destination. I wanted to scream and claw at my chest to stop the horrible pain which burned harder and brighter.
The burn was so much that at last I fell into the darkness.
"Your hair's beginning to look better this way," I heard next to me.
Turning my head, I was surprised to see Jasper sitting next to me. He gave me a smile and reached out to take my hand. Surprisingly, I felt his familiar chill which soothed me.
"Oh, don't start that now. Pete won't be too happy," I smirked at him allowing him to pull me into his arms.
"He'll be just fine. How are you holding up?" he asked combing his fingers through my hair. It was surprisingly relaxing the more he continued.
"It hurts, Jas. So badly," I told him somehow knowing he would never really know.
"I know it. It's always going to hurt in some form. The ache you feel will always be there, but you're not alone. Remember what we discussed for this?" he asked pulling me up to face him.
"Not really," I confessed turning my head. I finally realized we were outside at the house in Texas. The sun was hidden by clouds but it was a beautiful day.
"Remember us, that's what we discussed. You wanted this, you have to remember that. Remember who and what you want, but above all else please remember that at least. Come back to us for what it's worth. We can't live without you," he whispered as he reached forward and kissed my forehead.
"You're not making sense," I giggled surprised at his chill still made me feel safe.
"It will soon enough. Now, I have to get back inside before Peter leaves to go hunting. You said your peace, it's my turn," he said as he jumped to his feet with wiggling eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes shooing him away. "Go have fun, Major," I smirked at him as I turned away to stare at the clouds. I merely heard him growl before he was gone. It felt so nice with the light wind blowing that I lowered my back against the grass.
My eyes fluttered close for a moment. I must have fallen asleep for when I woke, it was dark outside. Stars littered the sky above me yet I heard no screams or yells for my whereabouts. Pushing to my feet, I rubbed at my eyes before walking in the direction of the house.
Suddenly a limb snapped behind me making me yell as I turned around. I was surprised to find a woman that was strangely familiar yet wasn't. She stood in the darkness with waist length brown hair and muddy toes. The dress she wore was elegant yet torn at the bottom.
"C-Can I help you?" I asked her, slightly afraid of her disheveled appearance.
"Robyn, I'm someone you know very well. Listen to me, remember them, Peter and Jasper, but don't forget the others who've been at your side. Garrett, while he's a crazy ass, he'll never let you get over forgetting him. The most important person in your life before them was your grandmother, never forget her. Despite how awful your family has been, remember them too. Remember the movies and times you played and had fun with your brother. The times you spent the afternoon with your mother before life got in the way. Don't forget the little things about how you met them both, the people that are after you, and the people that you've hurt."
I stared at her so confused. "You're not making much sense."
She rolled her eyes, "Didn't think I would to you, but to them I make a hell of a lot sense."
Suddenly the trees broke through and the woman was swept off her feet by a man with blonde hair. I immediately recognized Peter with his red eyes as he held her close.
"Talking to yourself again," he asked her without even seeing me.
She turned to him staring into his eyes with as much love as I had for him.
"Only when I'm around you, Pete. I don't know about you, but I miss Jas. Last one to the house, gets left out!" she told him grinning widely.
An ache stared in my chest as she jumped down shaking the ground. "You're on," he grinned at her before taking off.
She looked at me with a smirk, "We're going to be beautiful." Then she was off right behind him, and then in front of him faster than even he was.
Suddenly I fell to my knees on the ground as the ache in my chest from seeing them together burst.
My reality dragged me away from the darkness that offered no escape any longer. While I burned in reality I had fortune of seeing my loves consumed by another. What did she mean, we're going to be beautiful?
Suddenly the pain began to recede again as if someone was tapping into my soul. Images through my head of Jasper, Peter, and myself tangled in bed together moaning and groaning for each other. They flew in rapid succession that I was surprised I suddenly possessed. As the pain fell back like a band, I was startled by the remembrance from before the burn.
Sex with Peter and Jasper. Them together inside of me. Both of them biting my neck to start my change.
The vampire transformation. This is exactly what both Peter and Jasper struggled through to become what they are. They are so strong, yet here I've been the weakling in the group. Everything from my dreams suddenly made sense. Peter and Jasper both telling me not to forget them because the transformation burns through memory. Some vampires have no recollection of their lives before the transformation. They had both told me that before.
So, I had to think past the enormous pain. I was Robyn, the mate of both the Major of the Southern Wars and his captain. I might have been human when they found me, but I was strong, I would prove it in this moment. I didn't pushed past the pain, I shoved past the pain to the vault of memories I wanted to keep. Everything from meeting Peter, and Jasper. The Cullen's. Garrett. Texas. Everything from my new life. Yet, I didn't want to leave anything behind from my past. My past molded me, shaped me into the woman that was the mate of incredibly strong vampires.
I smiled mentally at the memory of my brother's smile and my mother's sarcastic humor. I once hated her humor, but it was her and I had missed a small portion of it lately. As memories faded in and out, I discovered that the pain wasn't as strong as it once was. I wanted to jump with joy that it was just a tad bit lighter in the lower portion of my limbs. I realized that the transformation would bring so many changes, but I was content with that. I got part of the deal, my incredible mates, and I'd find a way to deal with overwhelming thirst.
With them at my side, I could conquer anything.
While the pain wasn't gone, I could hear things outside of my body. They were slightly muted but it was better than the rush of fire inside of me. It gave me something else to concentrate on. I heard footsteps behind a door, sounded similar to pacing. Doors were opening and closing, squeaky springs from a bed. Creaking of a rocking chair near me was the loudest for a second.
"It's getting closer..." a voice trailed off.
It sounded different and I dug deep, but didn't need to. Peter. Always the overprotective one. I wanted to smile at the thought. Then again, he was most opposed to my decision because they both feared losing me.
Suddenly something hard hit something but sounded more like a pat.
"Almost, not quite. We got here early, thank heavens," another voice said. Jasper. I knew his voice too from the tired yet business like tone. "She's going to wake up to more than she bargained for. Let her have a last day of rest. We've got arrangements to make."
I heard Peter sigh before he lifted what I assumed was my hand. I felt the momentary relief of his kiss to my knuckles.
"See you soon, darlin," he whispered against my skin. The flames began to quicken just as they walked out the door. I decided to fall with them letting them drag me under yet again. My brain was tired of the memory logging so it was an easy decision and I didn't want them to worry about me too much.
When reality dragged me from the darkness, everything was different. While the fire had not been as intense the last time, it was even lighter now. I began to feel my body again, yet I refused to move even a second for fear that I might scream my head off. The fire still burned intensly but it was a flicker compared to what it had been. It was much easier to hear past the flames as they licked at the corner of my thoughts. Trying to recall something before the burn was difficult which were blurry as if I were seeing them through a veil. Images of Jasper, Peter, Garrett, and my family were as clear as I could get them.
"Anytime now would be great," I heard from Peter which made me want to grit my teeth.
I heard something sharp slap and assumed it was someone hitting Peter against the back of his head. "Oh stop it, Jas. You're thinking the same thing," he groaned. I heard the squeaking of the boards he stood on, assuming it was hardwood, as he rocked on his heels.
"Stop fidgeting," Jasper scolded.
Suddenly there was a creak as the door open. "She awake yet," I heard another more gruffly voice.
Suddenly Jasper growled. "Not now, Gare. We'll be down soon enough with our mate," Peter said.
"Okay, okay. Just to let you know, she's going to be smokin!" I heard who must have been Garrett say with a laugh before slamming the door behind him quickly.
"Don't even think about it, Major," Peter growled. "She's our mate yes, but she's practically Garrett's little sister. I don't think she'd take too kindly to her best friend/brother being dismembered by her mates."
There was a growl which must have been from Jasper. At their words that I would awake soon, joy slipped into my thoughts. Then there was worry. Could I control myself? Would I hurt someone I cared about?
Something suddenly tugged at the edge of fire and I realized it was my hand. "She's not going to like what this all means for us," Jasper said with a sigh as I assume he continues pulling on my hand.
"She won't have expected it because, hell, we didn't expect it. I just hope she doesn't go off. She isn't exactly their biggest fan," Peter says uncomfortably.
Jasper chuckles and I feel someone lean down over me kissing my cheek. "We'll deal with that when it comes to it. For now, I'm just ready to see my mate. I've missed her."
"Correction," Peter says moving to Jasper's side. "We've missed her."
As the fire waged on, control slowly channeled back over to me. With control, came the fear of thirst and hurting those closest to me. I knew I'd be stronger than my mates, we'd have to work things differently. Though my subconscious reminded me that this was what I wanted, to be able to protect them as they've done for me.
"Anyway, Garrett was wrong about one thing," Jasper suddenly said pulling my thoughts from the fire again. "She was always beautiful. She'll just be able to see herself as we always saw her."
"Couldn't have said it better myself," Peter said.
As I try to bury myself in their good moods, the fire kicks up a notch. Everything I felt before about the fire receding proved false. It all ratchet toward my chest toward the slow beats of my heart.
Thump...Thump...Thump..th...ump
For a moment, I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. Then it began to fainter.
Thump...Thump...
Then it was done. The fire was gone from my body and I had total control. Shoving the paralyzing fear away, I grinned excited to start my brand new life as my eyes opened.