Chapter 26: Love and Other Diseases

"She said, 'If we're gonna make this work,
You've gotta let me inside even though it hurts.
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see,'
She said, 'I like you a lot, it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me'."
-"Whatever It Takes" by Lifehouse

The weekend was consumed with wedding planning. Both Charlie and Sue had decided that they didn't want a huge white wedding, which suited me just fine. They were getting married on the beach at La Push, and only have friends and close family come. Then they planned on having a bonfire as a reception.

Who has a bonfire at a wedding?

Charlie and Sue do.

My weekend was so taken up by wedding plans and details and school stuff that I hadn't really had time to think about Edward. Admittedly when I woke up in the middle of the night, I could feel the faint tingle on my lips that still lingered from his kiss.

Sunday night my phone would not stop ringing and I didn't recognize the number so I never answered it. I hated talking on the phone, it made me nervous.

Charlie wondered who was calling me but I said it was a wrong number and let my phone ring.

We talked about my mother some more, and Charlie debated calling her to tell her that he was getting married. I told him not to.

"Why not? She told me when she got married."

"She took herself out of the equation, she doesn't deserve to know," I said.

Charlie smiled at me and put his arm over my shoulders, "What's happened to you Bells, you've changed."

"What do you mean?"

"You used to be withdrawn and afraid—and it wasn't just because Edward took you out on a bad date, and it wasn't because of your mother, I never knew what exactly was wrong but you've grow out of it."

I shrugged and smiled, "I just feel different. Like I can take on the world."

Charlie smiled and hugged me to his side, "You can take on the world, Kid."

I smiled and rested my head against his shoulder.

Monday morning came in a rush as I ran to my classes, listening to English lectures and taking notes on Chemistry labs. I drew flower arrangements in the margins of the paper and then I drew Edward's eyes.

It hit me in the middle of Economics that Edward had yet to call me, and it'd been three days since our date. I wished I hadn't deleted his contact from my phone so that I could call him myself.

I felt bold. Unstoppable.

I tried to remember his phone number, but he'd put it into my phone himself, I'd never dialed it.

I should've called Alice, but I wanted to contact Edward all on my own. I drove to the hospital, boldly figuring that maybe he'd come in that day, or I could ask where he was.

I turned my phone on and checked my messages as I went to the pediatrics floor, riding the elevator as an automated voice told me that I had one new voicemail from around seven this morning.

Leah spotted me as the heavy metal doors slithered open and waved me over frantically.

I held up one finger to silence her as the voice I'd been longing to hear came through the speaker of my phone.

"Bella. I'm sorry that I haven't called you sooner." I smiled and mentally forgave him for not calling me, "I'm just, I'm sorry but I don't think that I can be in a relationship right now. It's not your fault. God, please don't believe that this is your fault. It's mine. I just, I didn't know if I believed in love when I first met you and I'm still not entirely sure I believe in it."

My mouth felt numb and dry, my tongue was too thick and swollen. I wanted to cry but he kept talking.

"I told you that I lost my parents, and it's true. I'll never see them again because they were so distracted by each other that my father wasn't concentrating on driving and he was hit by a drunk driver who veered into oncoming traffic. I guess I feel like their love was their downfall.

"I've never really admitted that to myself."

There was a pause and I heard him breath raggedly on the other end. It must've been hard to talk about his parents.

I felt tears prick my eyes.

"I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. I shouldn't have. Bella, I wish I had to words to tell you exactly how I feel. But just know that having a relationship with me right now wouldn't have worked out.

"I'm just. God, I don't know what I am."

I hiccupped and pressed a hand to my mouth to choke back sobs. What went wrong?

"Bella. Promise me something. Be happy. Don't ever wonder if it would've worked out between us, just move on and be happy. You're beautiful, smart and funny. And I promise there is someone out there for you."

Yeah, him. I thought but continued crying as I listened to the message.

"I'll always sort of love you, Isabella Swan."

I let that last line sink in as the automated voice listed off my options for rehearing the message or deleting it or saving it.

"I'll always sort of love you, Isabella Swan."

Always. Sort of.

Leah ran to me and pulled me into her arms, "This is about that idiot isn't it?"

I nodded slowly, biting back a retort that my Edward wasn't an idiot.

"I swear that imbecile has commitment issues, he goes running off to Italy—"

"Italy!" I cut her off, "Italy! He never said he was going to Italy."

She snatched the phone out of my hands and pressed a key so that she could listen to the message he left me. She snorted, "He sounds like a wreck."

I stared at her hollowly, "What about Italy?"

"He got a job there. He didn't tell anyone about it—his flight was this morning. That sick idiot, he didn't tell you this?" She demanded, holding my phone in her fist.

She put the phone back to her ear and then narrowed her eyes, "I'm deleting this message; you shouldn't have to listen to this."

"No!" I screeched and grabbed the phone out of her hands.

She looked at me, bemused.

I listened to the message over again, memorizing it like I'd memorized his letter in the front of Wuthering Heights. "He said he loves me."

"He said he sort of loves you." Leah responded, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

"But he still said he loves me," I pointed out, grasping onto anything. I felt like there was a storm coming and the wind was going to blow me away unless I was firmly secured to something.

Maybe Edward was the wind that would sweep me away.

"Bella, that guy's a jerk."

"He kissed me," I said, trying to tether myself to something. Anything at all.

"So what, he's a guy. They do lusty stuff like that," she replied, pissed off on my behalf. I should've been flattered that she was on 'my side', but really I just wanted to talk to Edward calmly and rationally and see what the heck was going on.

I finally got Leah to calm down and I left the hospital. Still a little numb, growing a little angry and definitely in desperate need of a good tête-à-tête with Edward Masen-Cullen.

My father met me at the door, a stern expression on his face.

"You are not giving that boy a third chance," he said gruffly.

"Did Leah call you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Yes."

"You can't tell me what to do, I'm an adult," I said haughtily.

"He's just going to keep running away," Charlie said.

"No he's not," I said, "I love him, Daddy."

Charlie paled, I'm sure that no father really wants to hear that their baby has fallen in love. And it only added insult to injury that I'd fallen for a flaky doctor who was currently in Europe.

I sighed and brushed past my father and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I called back the number of the missed call from Edward.

"Hello?" He asked on the first ring. He sounded confused.

"Edward," I breathed and then started crying.

"No, Bella. Please, please, don't cry," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

He cursed, "I should be the one apologizing. Please, I'm so sorry Bella I would've stayed in Forks if I could."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I already signed the contract before the date. God, Bella, I wished I hadn't," he said, his voice was rough, thick with emotion.

"It's ok, how long is your contract for?" I asked.

"Four years," he sighed.

Four years, it felt like eternity. "Edward, do you love me?" It felt like a question I shouldn't ask. Taboo.

"Yes," he breathed, "I know it's ridiculous. And I'm uselessly afraid of love. And I barely know you…"

"Shut up," I said.

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, stop rambling, I love you too."

There was silence on the other line and I was terribly afraid that I'd scared him off. "I love you so much," he finally said.

"We can make this work," I said, more to convince myself than to convince him.

"Yes, not all long-distance relationships are doomed," he said.

"I'll come visit you," I told him, "over breaks, will you come home to visit?"

"Yes," he breathed. "I want this to work Bella…but, I'm scared."

"I know, Edward."

And then as an afterthought I added, "Me too."

FINALLY!!! They're finally making things work! So this story is sort of winding down. The last chapter will be posted on next Friday.

Do you thin long-distance relationships are a bad idea [in general not just for the purposes of this story]? I think if people are serious about each other distance shouldn't matter because they'll find ways to be together.