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As always, thanks for your reviews and your constant support of this story. I cannot believe I'm over 500 reviews. CA-RAZY.

This chapter is a little darker in tone, but still so necessary. The next one will be fun.

"Raj…" I begin carefully, pulling myself up and stepping toward the poor stammering man. His head is whipping back and forth as he attempts to say a coherent word. Mostly, because he's torn between confusion and horror, I'm sure.

"How did – why did – when?" Raj chokes out, while Sheldon stalks past me and shuts the door Raj left open.

"Keep your voice down," Sheldon hisses at him.

"You were making out with Penny!" Raj shrieks, making me lunge forward and clap my hand over his mouth.

"Shh," I shake my head, eyes flitting toward the door in panic. If Leonard or Howard hear, this is going to be the death of me. Leonard cannot know about this. Not yet. I'm not ready to share us. "Listen to me," I start, looking Raj straight in the eyes, "Sheldon and I are dating, but we do not want anyone to know…that includes Howard." Hesitantly, I remove my hand from the poor boy's face and cross my arms. Sheldon's already gone back to his desk, pretty much acting like nothing happened. Sometimes, he overreacts to the dumbest shit, and sometimes the big moron doesn't react to things he should. A little panic would be nice…

"You expect me to keep this a secret?" Raj squeaks at me, looking a lot like I just told him I eat babies or something.

"Uh, yeah," I nod.

"From Howard." Raj repeats, looking again at Sheldon, who has returned to his work. "You and Sheldon are getting it on, and you expect me to keep it to myself?"

"Really, Raj. You're being overdramatic," Sheldon sighs from his desk, "Perhaps you should refrain from indulging in frivolous female targeted films. And we are not having coitus—"

"Sheldon," I begin quietly, letting go of poor Raj's collar and turning back to Dr. Mental, "I swear to all that is sacred that if you call sex 'coitus' one more time, I am going to drag you home and force you to have it with me. Got it?" Sheldon's eyes widen, and he nods…and I sigh.

Sheldon is the only guy I can threaten with having sex rather than withholding. It would be kind of funny if I wasn't wound up like a freaking music box.

"So, this is really happening? This isn't like a prank or anything?" Raj finally responds. I shake my head, holding my breath.

"It's really happening. And good for you for talking so much!" I add, trying to butter him up. Raj rolls his eyes.

"Dr. Gablehauser took me to The Cocktail Room for lunch. I'm toasted," he scoffs, walking over to his desk and plopping messily into his seat.

"Look," I sigh, perching on the edge of Sheldon's desk, "just forget you saw anything."

"Forget?" Raj shrieks, staring at me as if I've gone crazy. "Penny, that's not something I can ever unsee. I mean, it's not as bad as the time that I walked in on Mrs. Wolowitz while she was on the toilet—"

"Oh, that's sick." I groan, covering my eyes against the mental image. "Look, Raj," I sigh, glaring at Sheldon who is obviously going to be no help in this situation, "This has only been going on since last Tuesday. We're not ready to share it with anyone."

"What is it?" Raj mutters, looking tiredly between us.

"We're," I glance at Sheldon, who now seems to be ignoring us. He's such a delight sometimes. "Uh…"

"Penny and I have entered into a romantic relationship based on mutual attraction and trust," Sheldon answers impatiently, his fingers flying on his laptop keyboard. Wow, really? I have to hear this in front of Raj? Sheldon has never told me he was attracted to me. I mean, from the way he was grabbing my backside, I'd say he felt a little tingle in his fun parts…but still.

"Maybe I passed out at the restaurant. Maybe I'm lying on the ground and I'm having the craziest alcohol induced dream of my life," Raj is muttering to himself. I let out a sound of irritation.

"No. You're not," I say, bending down and putting my hands on the loopy little (sometimes) mute, "and you're not going to say a damn word—"

"You can't be serious!"

"Let me put it this way for you, Sweetie," I raise an eyebrow and look him straight in his coffee colored eyes, "if you do blab…I'll beat your tight little brown butt, 'kay?" Raj nods, wide eyed. "Good." I smile at him and kiss him on the cheek. Even though my heart is racing like crazy, I'm a little relieved. Someone knows.

"Penny," Sheldon says with a sigh, "I need to get back to work and you're distracting me." I look up at him and notice his cheeks are still slightly tinged with pink. Or is it because…?

Holy Balls! Sheldon was totally checking out my ass while I was bent over threatening Raj. We have a little bit of success! I might get to have sex before I die!

"Right," I say, unable to keep from grinning. He gives me a baffled look. "I'll see you at home later for some Thai food." Leaning down, I give him a quick peck on the lips. He looks slightly impatient, but I think it's a front. Behind me, I hear Raj sigh.

"I'm just going to google P.T.S.D. therapy." He grumbles, making me roll my eyes before winking at Sheldon one more time and leaving him to his work.

Around three, I get a text from Charlie.

Hi Penny, Rob loved you. We want to try a screen test tomorrow. Dress neutral and wear your hair down. CS

I drop the phone. I mean, this does not mean I got the part. In fact, it's well known that you can do multiple screen tests and still not get a part. But I've never gotten this far before. It's only been a week since I've started working for Charlie and two since I quit The Cheesecake Factory and it seems like my life has changed more in fourteen days than it has in eight years.

Job? Check.

Boyfriend? Check.

I know as an actress, rule number one is not to get my hopes up, but I can't help it. I want this. I want it so bad I can taste it. I text him to thank him before calling my Mom, who picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom," I start, biting my lip, "how's Dad feeling?"

"He's doing good," She lets out a breath, "What's going on, Pen?"

"I'm um," I falter, feeling my stomach roil in a jumble of nerves, "I had an audition today for a big T.V. show and…and I got a screen test." The sound my mouth lets out it could shatter glass. I can't tell if it's excitement or what, but she finally composes herself.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I reply, still quietly, though I'm smiling now.

"That's exciting! Right?" She sounds unsure, "You are excited…aren't you?"

"Of course," I agree, twisting my hair in my fingers, "I'm thrilled. It just hasn't sunk in yet, Mom, I—" I cut off, swallowing. I need to talk to someone and since I can't talk to Bernadette or Amy, Mom has to be it. Even if it's still a little weird between us. "I'm dating my roommate."

"Which one is that, Sweetie?" She asks, sounding puzzled. Obviously, Mom has never met Sheldon. She doesn't know he's bat crap crazy.

"Sheldon. Um, Sheldon Cooper," I say, feeling a long exhale leave me and slumping against the arm of the chair. It feels damn good to admit it.

"Is it serious?" She asks, good naturedly. I snort to keep from laughing out loud.

"Oh, it's serious, alright," I tell her. Serious as in, it's Sheldon. A serious head case. Seriously bizarre. And, crazy enough, seriously, weirdly comfortable.

"Have you two…?" Her hanging sentence is filled with innuendo, making me cringe.

"Mom!" I shriek, closing my eyes tightly.

"Oh, don't be a prude. We both know you're no virgin," She laughs.

"He is." I explain awkwardly, feeling my face turn about twenty-five shades of pink, purple and red. I hear my mother gasp as if the concept of a man who hasn't ever had sex is appalling. I kind of regret telling her now.

"By choice?" Her voice is curious, fascinated. I feel suddenly protective of Sheldon. It's really a new feeling, because I know that he and I have always bickered and teased each other, but I realize that I have never been okay with it when other people threaten or hurt him. I've been on their side from day one and I'd kill for the jackasses. Both of them. Hell, all of them. And Ames and Bernadette.

Ah, fuck it. Throw Bridget in there too. She looks just like Bernadette.

"Yeah, by choice." I tell her defensively. "In fact, until this past year, he'd never even had a girlfriend."

"Oh, honey…is he," her voice lowers, "okay?" Oh my God. Did my mother just ask me if Sheldon Cooper is "special?" The smartest guy in the world…and she thinks he's got something wrong. Oh boy.

See, this is why I'm effed up. This is why I jumped into relationships with big, douchey a-holes and slept around. My mother never understood anything because she herself, (trying to be better or not) is a giant teenager. She has no idea how adult minds or relationships work. This is why I never knew it was not okay when Kurt "jokingly" pinched my side and laughed at my "love handles." Or when I took a shower and noticed the little spots on my hips and ribs from him and when everyone asked why I suddenly had a thing for one piece bathing suits, I told them it was because I saw Reese Witherspoon wearing one in Star Magazine and it was the new in-thing.

Or the time Kurt slapped me when I accused him of cheating on me.

We'd been at a surprise party for his friend John and I was good friends with John's wife K.C. (Which was short for some stupid name like Kathleen Camille or some other country ass name.) John had asked me where K.C. was and I'd lost Kurt too. I just remember the sinking feeling I'd felt when they'd emerged from the basement together, laughing. The look on John's face broke my heart. When we got home, being the drunk twenty-one year old I was, I'd fired all kinds of accusations at him and he'd popped me across the cheek so hard and so fast, that I wasn't sure if I'd imagined it. The throbbing in my cheekbone the next morning told me it had happened.

I don't talk about that though. It was a onetime thing and it never happened again. Of course, Kurt was cheating on me, but I guess that's irrelevant now.

I don't miss him. Not even a little bit.

And I don't want to tell Sheldon. Because I think it freaked him out enough to know about the pinching. I don't really know if it was protectiveness over me or the fact that he barely understands human interaction as it is. Maybe a little of both?

I like to think so.

"Yes, Mom," I finally respond through gritted teeth, "He's okay."

"And you like him." She goes on, sounding unsure.

"Yes." I am way frustrated at this point. She's not being mean, she just doesn't understand. And I get that. I just want so badly for everything to work out…yes, even with myself and my kooky ass boyfriend. Hopefully Raj can keep his drunken trap shut.

"Then I am happy for you. There's nothing wrong with taking it slow," she adds, taking me by surprise. How the hell can the woman drive me batty and then turn around and make me want to hug her.

"I've never taken it slow," I admit, chewing on my lower lip and hear her chuckle.

"Maybe that's the difference, honey." Her voice is quiet, but she sounds like she's happy. "What matters is that you make each other happy."

"Yeah," I breathe, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat. Too many emotions colliding at once. I need a break. "Listen, Mom. I gotta go. Just wanted to tell you and…I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay, Sweetie. Love you."

"You too," I answer with a ragged sigh and hang up. I hate thinking about the past. About my lonely childhood and my grandmother's death and then coming to California and becoming another statistic. I yearn to be better, and I'm starting to feel like it's a possibility.

Who would have ever guessed that Sheldon would have been the answer?

Not me.

Sheldon walks in at his usual time with the Thai food in hand and finds me on the couch, watching Ghost Hunters On Demand. I notice he's alone.

"Koothrappali will not be dining with us tonight," Sheldon informs me, hanging up his jacket and coming over to his spot, "Apparently, he's terrified he might spill the beans, as it were, when the others arrive."

"Oh," I reply, still feeling a bit down even with the prospect of my screen test tomorrow, "I got a screen test tomorrow." His eyes narrow, studying me closely.

"That is preferable…right?"

"Oh, yeah," I nod, "I'm just…thinking."

"Penny, are you considering ending this new element of our relationship?" He fires it off as anything else he ever says, but I can catch the tone of worry beneath. "Have my efforts not been enough?"

"No," I assure him, patting his shoulder. "No. Honey…that's not—" I shake my head. "Why would you even think that after this afternoon in your office?"

"Penny," his voice does not hold the same condescension as usual. It's more resigned. I don't like it. I miss the condescending Whack-A-Doodle, "It's no secret that we bicker. And now that Raj has discovered the nature of our current courtship, perhaps it would be better if we broke things off?"

"Oh my God, Sheldon. No!" I cry, gripping his sleeve in my fingers. "If anything, I'm glad. It's been so hard keeping this all to ourselves. It feels nice to have another person who knows." I lean toward him, with my knee tucked beneath me and my right leg dangling off the couch. I can feel myself begin to shake a little as I anticipate what I'm about to reveal to him. "We need to talk." Sheldon makes to speak and I shake my head. "Sorry," I correct, "I mean I need to talk and I need you to listen. I've never told anyone this. Not even Leonard, okay?"

"Alright." His voice is very quiet, but he concentrates the same look on me that he uses when trying to decipher an equation.

"I wasn't completely honest when I told you about Kurt and me," I begin slowly; terrified of what he's going to say and how he's going to react. I'm probably going to be banished for lying or something.

"I don't understand." And he doesn't. Because he always tells the truth.

"Kurt did hit me," I say this with my eyes closed and tense up. I don't know why. I mean, it's been almost five years and I know Sheldon isn't going to hit me. "Once," I finish, opening one eye. Sheldon's brows are furrowed as if he cannot comprehend what I am saying to him.

"You lied to me," He sounds hurt, making me sag in humiliation. Yeah, I feel like crap.

"I was scared," I tell him, and realize my voice has gone up about three octaves because my lip is quivering and I am scary close to crying.

Fuck.

"We were really drunk and I knew he cheated on me…so I stupidly called him out, but he'd had like four shots of Jäger and he…slapped me." I point to my right cheek. "Here."

"Did you think I would hit you?" His voice is so innocently perplexed that I lose it. Yep. Crying like a five year old and I'm not talking little sniffs. I'm talking ugly crying with the big sobs.

If he stays with me after this debacle, I may have to marry the bastard.

"No!" I wretch, "I've never been afraid of you. I told you that before. I know you would never hurt me. I just have never told anyone before," I gasp for breath, still clutching his poor sleeve in my fist, "And it just feels so good."

"I…" Sheldon looks lost. This is completely out of his comfort zone. "There, there." He hesitantly pats my knee. That does it. I burst forward and dive onto his lap, feeling him stiffen for a moment before gradually relaxing under my weight. At least I can't snap him like a twig anymore. That's good, right? Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tighten my grip on him and bury my face in his shoulder. This is a far cry from the first time he comforted me after my nightmare on the first night I was living in this apartment. It's hard to believe that was only a few weeks ago. I begin to calm down as I feel the gentle circular motion of his hand on my back.

"Sheldon," I sniff, clasping my hands together around his neck and keeping my forehead under his chin.

"Yes, Penny?"

"I'm sorry." I tell him, finding the courage to look up. His face is pale and his eyes are cold blue. "You have every right to be angry with me, and—"

"Angry?" His brows furrow closer together. He sure looks a little pissed. "You think I'm angry?" His hands have gone still while he stares at me in cold disbelief. "At you?" His voice heightens again with each syllable. "And you're sorry?"

"Well, yeah…" I offer, getting off of his lap and watching him spring from his seat.

"You just informed me that you were physically abused by a man who is six feet five inches tall – a full foot taller than you, Penny – and you think I'm angry at you." I notice his voice drop now into a baritone.

"Once," I say weakly, receiving a glare.

"No. Not once," He sounds really pissed. Oh my God, remember when I said Sheldon was going to explode one day? Yeah, I'm thinking this might be it. "Not once, Penny. You told me he pinched you. On your ribs and buttocks. Physical abuse is defined by any sort of aggressive physical contact, whether it's hitting, punching, kicking, pinching—" When he cuts off with a loud exhale, I mentally add a Fuck to his sentence because we all know he's thinking it. Or I guess, Drat for him. I don't know. Knowing him it's more like, You shall rue the day, you cursed villain. Or some sort of superheroey dialogue. "But he slapped you in your face, Penny. Now, I'm no expert on romantic relationships, but I know enough to be able to tell that you do not strike a woman. I, of all people know that."

"What do you mean, you of all people?" I ask, horrified to hear the answer to this. And yet, I need to. His face is a cold mask of anger.

"I witnessed it daily, Penny," He spits out venomously, "My father slapped my mother daily. And she stayed. Until he left her for the barmaid at his favorite local haunt." His voice falls to a whisper, but does not lose the contempt, "Don't be the first one in Dad's sight after he finishes the bottle."

"Sheldon," I gasp, bringing my hands to my mouth, "Did your father hit you?"

"Not with his hands." He explains darkly, but does not elaborate.

"I'm sorry!" I pant, feeling like I've been kicked straight in the chest. "Fuck, Sheldon. I'm so sorry!"

"Why do you keep apologizing?" He asks, standing with his arms at his sides.

"Because I hate the thought of you being hurt!" I shriek at him, kind of irritated that he's not getting the picture. I push feebly at his chest. "Because I care about you, you big obstinate butthead!"

"Well, it wasn't your fault. And it was a very long time ago," His eyes are a lot less cold now. "And very good on using the word obstinate." I gape at him in disbelief. Really? He's commending my vocabulary when I'm trying to have a real moment with him? Oh, he so would. "And I haven't been called 'butthead' since before I left for college in the fifth grade." He adds with a slip of a smirk. I laugh in disbelief. Un-freaking-believable. Sheldon Cooper just made me forget how upset I was by being adorable.

"Maybe not to your face." I reply, quoting Legally Blonde.

"I'm still displeased about what you told me," Sheldon says, the smile dropping from his face.

"I didn't mean to lie to you, I was just—"

"Penny," He says this as if I am the most exasperating person he has ever known, "I am not displeased because you lied, although there was never any need for that. I am displeased because of what was done to you."

"You mean, you're pissed at Kurt?"

"Well, my baser biological urges coupled with the Alpha Male in me along with a rise in adrenaline are giving me the potent desire to cause physical harm to your former boyfriend. So, to answer your question in a word: yes. I am, as you worded it, pissed."

I am unable to hide my snicker, because it took him an entire paragraph just to say 'yes.' But I'm also deeply, deeply touched and kind of turned on by this side of Sheldon.

Definitely not a robot.

"Like you said, honey, it was a long time ago. And I was very young…and it's over. And I'm here now. You guys kind of saved me. If it hadn't been for the four of you…I probably would have ended up back in that situation." I carefully guide his arms around my shoulders and rest my cheek against his chest. I can hear the gentle thud of his heartbeat.

"Penny," He says softly, making me lift my head to look up at him. I think for a moment that he's going to kiss me, but his eyes flicker over to the table. "The food is getting cold." He begins to pull away, but I shake my head.

"No, no…you don't get out of this part. Non-optional, Buddy." Placing my hand against the back of his hair, I guide his head down to mine and rise up on my toes to kiss him. It's not a passionate kiss, or a long one. But it says more than any other kiss we've ever shared.

It says we've got each others' backs.

There is a knock at the door, making us pull apart with a secretive smile as we settle into our spots. Leonard's head pokes around the door, before he walks in followed by Amy.

"Food here?"

"Yep," I respond, grinning at them and sitting cross legged.

"Bestie, as always, you look stunning, but I can't help but notice that your eyes are tinged with red and slightly swollen. Have you been weeping?" Amy rattles this off casually, taking her seat beside me while Leonard crams on the other side of her. Four people on this couch is kind of mashing us all together. And it's also really funny because Howard and Bernadette aren't here yet.

"Just a little. I got a screen test," I tell her, thinking it better to let them believe I was crying tears of joy. Leonard brightens immediately.

"Oh my God, for what?"

"I'm going to tell everyone when Howard and Bernadette get here," I assure him, smiling tiredly and biting back a smile as my arm brushes Sheldon's.

They arrive a few minutes later, when we've all opened our containers and are digging in while Sheldon is still "preparing" his O.C.D. Mee Krob.

Some things will never change.

"Hi." Howard mutters when Leonard lets him in. Bernadette looks equally irritable as they sort of stalk to their respective seats. Howard on the armchair and Bernadette on the kitchen chair.

"Rough day?" I ask, watching the two of them sit in cranky silence beside each other.

"I don't want to talk about it." Bernadette retorts. Even angry, Bernadette sounds a little like a bratty child because of her adorable voice. It amuses me endlessly.

"Bernadette got sick at work," Howard admits, looking slightly ill himself. Sheldon immediately pulls up his shirt to cover his face. I give him a glare. "Not that kind of sick. She thinks she might be—"

"Howie!" Bernadette wails, "Not now." But we all know where he was going. And to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised anyway. I mean, the two make no secret that they go at it like rabbits. (Seriously, ew.) And since condoms are only like 97% effective…

Oh God.

Howard reproducing is frightening. And truthfully, he's been a little down for the past couple weeks. His father and brother never showed and Bernadette told me he's taken it really hard. That's why they haven't been around much. And even though he's a creepy little tool, I can't help but feel bad for the tiny bastard.

"Oh! Penny…I've been meaning to tell you. I work with this guy who is a pharmaceutical chemist and he just broke up with his girlfriend. I was thinking that you two would be—" I begin to choke on my drunken noodles, accepting a glass of water from Amy and drinking as she thumps me a couple times on the back.

"Sorry, Bernadette," I choke between sips, "Not interested. I'm not really up for the whole dating scene right now." Everyone in the room (except Dr. Oblivious) is staring at me.

"Penny doesn't want to date?" Howard asks aloud, slack jawed. Bernadette rolls her eyes and cracks him in the arm. He perks up with excitement, looking better than he has all week. "Who's the guy? Is it Zack again? Stuart? Kurt?" That gets Sheldon's attention and his head snaps up.

"Penny is not seeing any of those men, least of all Kurt." He bites, sounding very haughty. It almost makes me break down and smile. Instead, I stare into my food.

"Seriously who is it?" Howard goes on, looking at us all and glancing at Leonard.

"It's the Flash." I answer pointedly, giving him a look. He's too dense to catch the truth in that phrase, so he just shakes his head and looks back into his own food. I send Sheldon a discreet sideways glance and carefully tap my foot against his.

There's that vague half smile.

Happy, Matt? lol.