Spoink
It ain't easy

…

It ain't easy being Spoink.

"Spoink!"

Always bouncing around all happy go lucky.

"Spoink, Spoink, Spoink."

Never knowing when your next bounce might wind you up with a face full of dirt.

"Spoooooooiiiiiiiiink! Peh, peh, SpoinkSpoink, peh."

And while you're down in the dirt, and your tail isn't bouncing, you feel it.

"Spoink?"

Your heart!

"SPOINK!"

Yes, since as we all know, a Spoink's bounce is what causes its heart to beat. If it's not bouncing, its heart isn't beating.

"SPOINK! Spooiiiiiiink."

Yes, so keep bouncing, cuz if you don't…

"Dun dun duuuuuuun. Spoink."

…

It was a beautiful day as the happy little Spoink bounced through town. Such a happy go lucky sort, he smiled and snorted cheerfully as he went. Everyone he passed waved happily warming his little heart with joy.

"Cute!"

The squeal came out of nowhere and suddenly he was being mauled in the surprisingly strong arms of a little girl. This happened all the time.

He basked in the physical affection for a moment till 'it' happened. It started in his chest, the tightening. Thein his arm went numb.

"Spoi, Spoink!" It was his heart.

He tried to flex his tail, but it wasn't designed that way. It only bounced up like Tigger's . The world was beginning to go dark when the girl's mother came along and just as suddenly as he'd been picked up, he was back on his tail.

"Spoink! Spoink!" he spoinked, feeling the blood rush through his body once again.

He bounced in place for a while trying to fight down the terror of his near-death experience, but then it happened.

"Cute!"

The sound made his blood run cold and he didn't even look to see it coming. With amazing speed, the bouncy pig bounced for it, squealing in terror. Why oh why did he have to be so plush and huggable. It wasn't his fault.

"Come back piggy."

"Spoiiiiiink!" Why Arceus why?

Attempting a clever escape, he dove into a bush and went perfectly still. It only took him a moment to discover the flaw in his plan.

"Spoink!" My heart.

"Where are you piggy?"

Terror warred with terror as the girl child slowly meandered around his bush. He wanted to squeal, go away already, but she continued to circle like a hungry Sharpedo. He broke first, tearing out of the bush like his life depended on it. Apt metaphor, no?

"Piggy!"

The little girl followed swiftly after and they continued their absurd chase through town. But that wasn't all.

"Cute!"

"Piggy!"

"Hugs!"

"Spoink!"

As if one wasn't bad enough, a horde of cute little girls was sure to be his end. His will to live kept him from just giving up but he knew a hopeless situation when he saw one.

He never expected his rescue to arrive in the form of a red and white ball coming out of nowhere and whacking him in the head. It was the strangest thing, suddenly there was a light, then he was light, then everything was light.

…

The trainer watched his pokéball shake before a final click signaled a successful capture.

"Alright, I caught a Spoink!"

"Aw!" the crowd of little girls whined, "But, but, Piggy."

The trainer just shrugged, "Mine now" he was sure his new Pokémon would thank him later.