Wow, so many great reviews! You guys are too kind :) Thank you so much!
And to the guest reviewers whom I can't reply to, thank you so much for reviewing! :)
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Reclined on the bunk in the crew quarters, Han stared at the holodrama playing above the portable holo projector. He wasn't really watching it and had seen it several times in the past. His thoughts were firmly stuck on the thoroughly botched mess he had made of things with Leia.
She had warmed to him considerably over the past few days, to the point where he had forgotten to respect the boundaries he knew she needed. It was just so hard when his heart took over for his brain.
How far had he set them back? He was afraid to find out. He tried to concentrate on the holo but his thoughts kept returning to the Princess.
He would have to give her some space. It was hard to keep his distance but he didn't want to push her any more than he already had. He had resigned himself to simple friendship, but the closer she allowed him, the more he lost himself. He couldn't help but hope for more.
This was the love that poets and philosophers went on about? It wasn't quite what they claimed. It was a whole lot of pain that he hadn't allowed himself to feel since he was a young kid. He would have been better off if he had just taken off after the Battle of Yavin. But he was too far along this path to feel any real regret.
A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. The knock was far too gentle to be Chewie. He sat up on the bunk.
"Come in!" He was aware of the way his stomach jumped when the door slid open and revealed Leia. She leaned in the doorway, looking small and forlorn.
"Hi," she said softly.
"Hi." He searched for words to properly apologize for his earlier behavior. She spoke before he could gather his thoughts.
"I'm sorry I ran off earlier." Her voice was low and her eyes darted away from him. She seemed to force her gaze back to him. Her hand was fidgeting at her side.
He frowned and dropped one leg to the floor. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I crossed a line."
Her fingers furrowed together and her eyes dropped to watch them. "I may have blurred the line," she mumbled to her hands.
He smiled, finding her admission endearing. "No, I stood right on it and covered it with my big feet."
Her fingers stilled and she looked at him with a small smile.
"I'm sorry," he said soberly.
Leia looked down at her hands again and her brow knitted for just a moment before smoothing out again.
"Why does everything have to be so confusing?" she whispered.
Han wasn't sure if she was talking about the Force, the war, or him. He smirked. "I stopped asking that question a long time ago." He saw her glance at the holoprojector. "Wanna watch a holo, Princess?"
She raised an eyebrow without looking at him.
"You got anything better to do?" he asked dubiously.
She smiled with one side of her mouth. "I can't say that I do."
` He gestured at the bunk beside his. "Have a seat. It's an old one but it's pretty good."
She contemplated the invitation for a moment before leaving the doorway behind and sitting primly on the end of the bunk. The door slid shut in her wake. "What is it called?"
"Fire on the Sun. Seen it?"
She shook her head. "I haven't had a lot of time for holos," she replied wryly.
"Should I restart it? Or just catch you up?"
"You can just catch me up."
He gave her a quick rundown of what she had missed then hit play. As she asked him questions, he could see her starting to relax.
"This plot is silly," she declared.
"All right, it's not going to win any awards, but it's entertaining."
"If you say so." She looked down her nose at him in a mock haughty gesture then pushed herself back to lean against the wall at the head of the bunk. One knee raised and she hugged it with both arms.
Han smiled to himself, pleased to see her at ease. The building in the holo blew up in a spectacular ray of light.
"Now, that's just unrealistic," she said with a smile.
Han flashed her a crooked grin. "Hey, we blew up the Death Star."
She pursed her lips at him. "Touché, Solo."
He smiled whole heartedly, feeling warm and happy.
"How could he possibly make that jump?" Leia asked rhetorically.
"Maybe he's a Jedi."
Her smile was a thin line as she shook her head.
When the holo ended, Leia continued to disparage it.
"Never knew you were such a holo critic, Your Highness."
She wrinkled her nose at him and he grinned back. He turned the projector off and turned to face Leia.
"Han, what happened when you went to pay back the Hutt?"
He was taken aback by the question. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Well," he replied slowly. "As soon as I got to his palace, he threatened to feed me to the rancor then threw me in the dungeon for three weeks."
"Three weeks?!"
It occurred to Han that she had been held captive far longer than that. "Yeah. And every day his little Twi'lekk pal would come down and tell me how many days I had left to live."
"What about Chewie?"
"I left the big lug on the Falcon."
"You went in alone?"
"Yeah. He wasn't too happy about it either."
"How did you escape?"
"I didn't. I had made Jabba an offer he couldn't refuse. He finally got bored with me and accepted it."
"So your debt is settled?
"Yep." But he would gladly keep that debt if it meant erasing what Leia had gone through and taking her pain away with it.
Her expression softened and became serious. "That's wonderful, Han. No more running and looking over your shoulder."
He laughed shortly. "Yeah, now I'm just running from the Empire." But at least my mistake won't get you killed. He thought back to Ord Mantell then shrugged the memory off.
They sat in silence for a time, each with their own thoughts. Leia's voice broke the silence.
"I'm sorry you didn't have any family growing up. It must have been lonely."
Chagrined, Han wondered what in the hell had possessed him to tell her that. At the moment, he couldn't recall. He floundered for a response. It struck a nerve that had been dormant for over fifteen years. He shrugged and affected a casual expression, his lower lip jutting out. "No big deal." He kept his eyes on his lap.
"Well, neither of us have family now."
Her voice was low and serious and it drew Han's gaze instantly. Eyes lowered, mouth pinched, she looked infinitely sad. He tried to think of something to say but came up blank.
"I'm glad that you and Chewie found each other. I think you needed him."
Something churned deep in Han's chest and when he turned to look at Leia, she was staring at him intently. Their gazes locked and held and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. The breath he finally released was shaky. What was this woman doing to him? Turning him into some sentimental fool?
"Yeah, well…" His voice was tight and he had no idea how to end the sentence. Feeling very much out of his comfort zone, he stood. "I don't know about you, but my stomach's telling me its dinner time. C'mon." He started to offer his hand then remembered that earlier he had forgotten to keep some distance between them. Instead, he gestured to her to follow. Together, yet separate, they headed for the galley.