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Chapter twenty-six – The Baby Talk

Jumping up and down like a child who just went through a bowl of sugar Nina faced Eric with a big grin. He only responded with a roll of his eyes, but she didn't care. Seven months she had been confined to a bed, doing pretty much nothing. Now she could go back to her job minus taking the train as transportation and of course no jobs which acquired for her to carry a firearm.
Grabbing her jacket from the hospital bed, she ignored the looks she received from Eric and the nurse who helped her through initiation, Tiffany.

"Could you stop jumping around for a second so we can sign these papers?" Eric waved the hospital papers, "If you don't sign you're not allowed to go back to your job, which is fine by me, but I'm guessing I'll be stuck with a pouting girlfriend for the rest of my life."

Zipping her jacket up, Nina stalked to her smirking boyfriend, taking the papers from him to sign it. Damn right she'd be pouting if she couldn't go back to her job. She knew they'd be fine with Eric being in a leadership position, but she didn't want someone else to take her job. That job was created for her and she was pretty good at it too. One setback wouldn't stop her from fighting for what she believed in. Eric knew that too, she'd love to wipe that knowing smirk off his face, but the excitement of getting back on her feet was greater than that.

Signing her name on the dotted line, she handed it back to Eric, "So we're good now?"

"Almost." He placed the paper in her thick patient file and handed it to Tiffany, "She is due for her birth control shot." Nina noticed the exchange between Tiffany and Eric, getting a weird feeling by the looks they exchanged, "How long do they normally last?"

"Six months." Tiffany gestured to the bed which Nina had sat on a moment ago, "With some women they can last shorter than that though, let's schedule another one in five months just to be sure. We'll take care of this, you can go back to your meeting, Eric."

Nina turned to Eric, kissing his cheek, "See you at lunch?"

"Let's have lunch in my office since we have a meeting scheduled after lunch."

She nodded, "Fine by me."

After getting her shot from Tiffany she went to see Lacey at her apartment, wanting to personally thank all her friends for being there for her when she needed them. Her long stay at the Erudite hospital wasn't that boring when she had her Dauntless people surrounding her. Standing in front of the closed apartment door, Nina took a deep breath and knocked. She was anxious meeting Aaron here as well. Aaron didn't know about Lacey's mistake, but she was afraid he might find out soon and she didn't want to be near them when he did. Aaron was a good guy so she knew he wouldn't make a scene, but it would still be ugly. The two people she relied on during initiation would probably end up hating each other. That was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. So even though she knew it was bad she hoped he wouldn't find out about Lacey's mistake.

"You're here!" Nina wanted to step back when Lacey ripped the door open and practically jumped her, "You're walking around and looking amazing!" Lacey threw her arms around Nina, hugging her so tight it almost felt like a hug Eric would give her.

"Let the girl breath, the force you're using is probably not that good for her either." Aaron stood in the doorway, all geared up for something she knew nothing about.

"You're patrolling the Factionless sector?"

Lacey released her, turning around to face her boyfriend as well. Aaron looked away, nodding to let her know that he was indeed going to the Factionless sector.

"How is it?"

"Better." Aaron didn't even sound that nervous when he talked to Eric, "After your accident Four sat down together with his mom and other faction leaders and they pretty much agreed that it was the place for factionless to go. So now it's our duty to keep it safe."

"Did you run into anything serious during your patrols?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss that with you, it's not your project anymore." He actually looked guilty for saying it which made her feel less upset, though she could still march up to Eric and ask him what the hell his problem was for making yet another subject confidential, "What I can tell you is that there are four teams patrolling during the day and night shift. You're smart girl so you can figure out what that means."

He kissed her cheek and kissed Lacey on the lips, stalking away while making it look easy to be so geared up and still look so fucking fantastic. Shaking her head she followed Lacey into her apartment, taking a seat on the black leather couch, which was more comfortable than she thought it would be.

"The sector is still messed up."

Lacey shrugged a shoulder, "It takes time for people to accept the chances. It will get better."

"Jeanine made it look so easy. Just in one day she achieved so much."

"Jeanine had everyone wrapped around her finger. She used their fear to make them accept the chances." Lacey walked to the small kitchen across the living room, "We're trying to help them, it takes time for them to trust us and the idea of having their own place where they can live safely."

Nina smiled when Lacey walked back, handing her a steaming cup of coffee just the way she liked it. A bit of milk and sugar. She thought only Eric knew the way she liked to drink her coffee, but she was wrong.

"I had no idea you were so aware of the situation. Not a lot of people here know about the situation with the factionless."

"Aaron and I talk a lot now. He tells me about his patrols, shares more with me. I know that I have done something horrible, but I can't tell him now that everything is going fine. Like you and Eric you know. We have that now."

Nina understood why Lacey feared to lose what she had. When you reach a point in your relationship when you are so comfortable around each other that you can share everything feels amazing. It's better than the feeling any strong drink at the bar could give her. It made her realize that even though Eric knew everything about her and let her talk about everything that she was feeling while recovering from the accident he didn't share anything. He kept quiet, to himself and became more controlling. People around her started to act the same way. Secretive, letting her do all the talking while they kept quiet and shared suspicious looks. She was certain something was wrong, it wasn't just her mind playing tricks on her because she had been locked up inside her apartment for months.

"I'm having lunch with Eric at his office, Lace, so I actually can't stay that long." Nina sipped from the coffee, letting the warmth flow through her and comfort her because she definitely needed that, "I just wanted to thank you for being there for me-"

"Shut up." Lacey interrupted her rudely, "If you are going to thank everyone for being there for you blablabla, don't. Of course we were there for you. We're your friends and it hurt us seeing you like that. We wanted to be there day and night but couldn't because it wasn't allowed. Only Eric could stay as long as he wanted and he did-" Lacey took a deep breath, "It was hard seeing him like that. No one would believe me if I told them that Eric broke down when he watched his girlfriend looking so helpless in that big hospital bed."

"He did?"

Lacey nodded, "I'm surprised you didn't know."

"Eric doesn't like to talk about his feelings, he rather shows them. I was pretty much unconscious the whole time so I didn't see him break down."

Ignorance was bliss, that was the only thing she could think of which fit her situation right now. There were a lot of things about her accident which didn't make sense, but hearing how much Eric cared about her made those things fade to darkness. Last thing she wanted was to break her promise to him and bring up the subject which neither of them ever wanted to speak about.

"That guy is crazy about you." Lacey mumbled, "I mean he is a complete ass to us, but somehow you made the list of people he cares about and I'm guessing he is very loyal to those people."

She knew he was, he was loyal to Four and Tris. The same goes for Peter, they fought a lot, but so did she and Lacey. In the end she'd do anything for Lacey. She guessed Eric felt the same way about Peter.

Opening the door to their apartment and getting greeted by the sight of Nina smiling like nothing else mattered in the world made all the terrible nights without her fade. He kicked the door closed behind him and stalked across the room to reach her, placing a firm kiss to her lips. She pressed her hands against his chest which made it burn. He pushed her gently off him, smirking when he saw the disappointed look in her eyes.

"We're good to go, Eric." She eyed him like a predator eyed it's pray, only making him want her more.

"I want to have you in every way possible." He knew he had to make it very clear to her that he still wanted her since she had been acting insecure about their relationship, "I just can't have you touching me in my chest area."

That made her sexy look drop. She stepped so fast toward him, he barely registered it. Before she could run her fingers down his chest again, he grabbed her hands in his and kissed her pulse. Loving how her heart beat always picked up when he showed her how much he cared for her.

"I'm not hurt."

"You're not? Then why can't I touch you." She tried to pull her hands back, but he kept a firm grip on them, "Aaron told me about the factionless sector. Did someone hurt you?"

"Aaron wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Fuck being a Dauntless leader and just tell me."

He hated seeing her so concerned about him so he quickly released her hands and shrugged off his jacket, pulling his t-shirt over his head so she could see the ink across his heart. If he had to pick a moment which should forever stay burned in his mind, it was this moment. Her hand covered her mouth while she stared with watery eyes at the letters.

"No way."

He glanced down at the four letters which were now forever marked across his heart. Nina. He grabbed her left wrist, glancing at his name.

"In my eyes this is far more binding than a fucking contract."

She nodded, wiping the tears away with her free hand which was pointless since it looked like she couldn't stop crying.

"I love you."

He smiled hearing her say those three words. Releasing her wrist he pulled her to him, holding her gently in his arms. She smelled like the flowery fields back at Amity and she felt like hugging a warm cup of coffee which comforted him till his core.

"So can we move this to the bedroom?"

Looking up to meet his gaze that sexy look magically appeared on her face again, "That was what I had planned before you worried me to death." She gave his shoulder a light shove and tried to wipe the tears away, "Let me clean up first-"

He chuckled when he heard her squeal because he picked her up and stalked to the bedroom. Carefully placing her on the bed while he stood by the end of the bed, glancing down at the beautiful looking hot mess who he wanted to mess up more.
Unzipping his pants he watched her toss her clothes aside at the speed of light and chuckled when she got to her knees and wrapped her arms around his waist while leaving a trail of kisses from his stomach to his chest. He pushed her back on the bed and moved to the nightstand to grab a condom. It had been a while since he used one with her, but after her accident he didn't want her to get knocked up again. For now he knew he'd get away with it without having to explain himself.

"Hurry up."

"Stop smacking me." He warned her when he felt yet another smack to his rear, "You know I love to participate in your games."

Biting her lip she rolled to her stomach, taking the covers with her, "Need help with that?" He could barely see her head in those covers, but even then she looked so damn hot because of that devious twinkle in her eyes. He kicked his boots off, letting his pants drop on the floor with a loud thud and crawled on top of her. The little vixen kept moving around, making it hard for him to roll the condom on without losing focus.

"Stop moving around so much."

She pushed against his shoulder, "I can't!" That breathy whiney voice really didn't help either, "It's been months and you're taking so long."

A hiss left his lips when her nails dug into his back when he pushed inside of her, he could barely control himself when he pushed inside of her and felt her tighten around him. It had been too long since he made love to her and if he had more self-control he would have loved to tease her till she was a begging mess. There was no self-control tonight though, he just needed to chase that high together with her.

Nina rolled to her side, patting the spot next to her only to find it empty and cold. Sighing she opened her eyes, annoyed that Eric wasn't there. She had gotten used to waking up together with him. Pouting she curled up and closed her eyes again, the warmth of the covers would comfort her almost the same way Eric's body would. Almost.

She squealed when that warmth was suddenly taken from her, glaring at whoever dared to pull the covers off her body "If you don't get up soon you're going to be late for your meeting with the initiation instructors."

"I'm naked-"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." Eric tossed her his t-shirt which she wore to bed as sleepwear, "You have fifteen minutes to get ready."

She pulled the t-shirt over her head and hopped out of bed, "Where were you?"

His raised eyebrows told her he found her question odd. He still answered it though, "I was making us some coffee." He pointed to the bathroom, "Thirteen minutes, Nina."

Smiling she walked past him, her annoyance from earlier completely forgotten. She usually made them coffee in the morning while Eric got ready, now it was the other way around. She could get used to it.
Brushing her teeth she went through her feminine stuff in the bathroom, it had been a while since she did some shopping. Lacey bought the stuff she needed when she ran out, but she had been so spoiled by everyone around her she needed to do the normal stuff like grocery shopping again to feel like she was finally getting her life back in order.
Grabbing the box of tampons she knocked down a pregnancy test. Kneeling down to pick it up she tried to remember when she bought it, but everything had been so hazy after her accident that it was hard to put the pieces back together. Shrugging it off she placed it back in her drawer and closed it, making a mental shopping list of stuff she needed. Once she was all freshened up she dressed in barely five minutes and met Eric in the living room.

"Coffee!" She cheered when Eric handed her the mug, "I'm going shopping later, do you need anything?"

The smirk spreading across Eric's face made her narrow her eyes on him, "Condoms."

"You had one last night."

"Tiffany handed it to me since your shot will be effective in two weeks." She blushed when Eric seemed to pick up on her discomfort, "Right…You never did that before. It's fine I'll pick some up later-"

"No! I can do it."

Walking across the room Eric rinsed his mug and placed it in the sink, "This is not a challenge, Nina. Just forget about it. I'll take care of it."

Knocking down the last remains of her coffee she handed him her mug, "I told you it's fine, I'll do it. I'm already going and I'm in a freaking serious relationship so I should be able to pick up some freaking condoms and not be embarrassed about it. Practically everyone already knows I'm doing you anyway."

"They should know you're doing me." He sounded more amused than serious about that, "Now, stop talking about sex so I won't need to rush and pick some up now so I can do you here in the kitchen."

"Everything is getting back to normal."

Eric placed his hand on her back and guided her out the door, "Don't forget that we're having drinks with Peter at the bar later tonight." He narrowed his eyes on her, "You made that promise to him, remember…"

She actually forgot about that, trying to brush it off with a bright smile, "You want me to bail out so you can have a guy's night out?"

Eric frowned, "No fucking way. We're going out there together." His hand trailing down to her lower back before he pulled away and grabbed her hand instead, linking their fingers, "It's the first time we're having some sort of date after the accident."

She didn't say anything, but knew this was important to him even though he made it sound like it wasn't a big deal.

"Walk me to the meeting room."

He rolled his eyes, but she noticed the secret smile spreading across his face. They didn't exchange any words, but holding his hand while strolling down the hallways felt so comforting. All she wanted was to be close to Eric in every possible way. She glanced to her side, taking in the sight of him looking so happy. Lacey mentioned how he broke down when she was recovering over at Erudite's hospital, she never wanted to cause him pain again. Releasing his hand she ignored the stare she received and clutched his arm with both hands instead, leaning her head against his shoulder. Her eyes landed on a woman passing by carrying a chubby baby. Somehow her mind wandered to the pregnancy test she hid back in her drawer, not being able to recall why she bought it in the first place. She wasn't pregnant, but it sure made her wonder about their future.

"We're here."

Eric interrupted her thoughts, she stood by the closed door, glancing over her shoulder she saw both Lauren and Christina already seated in the room through the small window next to the door. She leaned her back against the door and grabbed onto the front of Eric's jacket before he could walk away so she could pull him closer to her.

"What's wrong?"

She felt like she was back in her initiation class and Eric was one of her instructors again. It was odd that she was this nervous considering how serious they were about each other. The tattoos basically confirmed they were practically married, he mentioned it was more permanent than a piece of paper.

She took a deep breath and decided to spill it before she'd change her mind and lie, "I want to have a baby."

If she thought Eric could never be more shocked in his life than she was wrong. For a minute she feared he'd faint, but he just stood there staring at her. She quickly cupped his face in her hands, wanting to pull him out of his shocked state.

"I mean not right away, but we're serious about each other. We're practically married, right? And after marriage comes the baby and I'm not saying that I want it right now, but I definitely want one with you in the near future."

He looked at her as if she slapped him, that look on his face definitely worried her. She didn't think the baby talk with scare him that much.

"Where is this coming from?"

She grabbed onto the front of his jacket again, she wanted to make sure he'd stay where he was. Tris wasn't around yet so they wouldn't start the meeting anyway. Since the door was still closed behind her she figured Christina and Lauren were giving them privacy to finish their conversation.

"I found a pregnancy test at home and I can't remember buying it, but maybe at some point before the accident I needed it. I just can't remember it and just now when that woman walked by with her child I just couldn't resist telling you."

"Nina, you just recovered from a horrible accident." He grabbed onto her shoulders, she could tell he had the urge to shake her, but he resisted, "You nearly died so this baby talk is just a reaction to that. It's the fear talking. When everything falls back in place with your job you'll change your mind again."

She wasn't convinced of that though. It wasn't a haste decision she made out of fear, she loved Eric and envision a future for them. Children were definitely part of that future. It hurt her hearing him dismiss the very idea of having a child with her.

"You don't want to have children with me?"

"Nina, do we need to have this conversation right now?"

"I can't pretend we didn't have this conversation, can you?"

He sighed, pressing his forehead against hers, "Nina, I love you and you know I'd do anything for you, but I don't want to have a child any time soon, okay? Right now I'd like to focus on getting our life back together, getting the city back on rails then we can have this conversation again."

"We can do all of that and take care of a child as well. Building a future together with our child being part of that process." She leaned her head back against the door, pressing a hand against his chest, "Why do I feel like something changed? The very idea of having a child with me makes you look like you bit on something sour."

"You fell out of a fucking train, so yes everything changed." He whispered those words, but to her it felt like he was yelling them, "I don't want a child in our lives right now. Can we focus on getting back to our lives before you fell out of a train and almost died?"

She nodded, pushing him off her when she noticed Tris standing behind Eric, "Hey, Tris."

Eric spun around, facing the fierce younger Dauntless leader, "Stiff."

She glanced from Nina to Eric, taking the situation in, "Jerk. It's such an Eric thing to do, isn't it?"

He completely pulled away from Nina, folding his arms across his chest to look like the Eric everyone always feared and hated, "What is?"

"Bullying someone who is having a hard time. Somehow you always make them feel worse." She walked past him, bumping into him, "Let's start our meeting, shall we?" She asked Nina who opened the door so Tris could enter first.

"I'm going to do some shopping after the meeting and meet you at home after you had your night out with Peter." She wanted to step inside, but Eric grabbed her arm, stopping her from walking away.

"Nina-"

"No, you're right." She smiled, "I should focus on getting my life back to the way it was before. Slowly making my way up back to us training so I can actually defend myself. So you're absolutely right, I don't know what I was thinking."

Eric's grip didn't loosen so she actually had to push him back and quickly step inside the room. Slamming the door shut behind her she smiled to the women who all eyed her with sympathetic gazes. Their sympathy wasn't what she needed though, the urge to cry was what she wanted to surrender to and then move on and pretend it didn't happen.

"Eric changed after your accident." Tris said the moment she took a seat across her, "He pretended to handle it well, but we know him pretty well by now. He broke down and is still trying to get back to the way he was before."

"Can we focus on this meeting right now?" Ignoring the looks the women shared she tried to stay professional. The sooner the meeting was done the sooner she could go back to her apartment and take a hot shower while letting the tears fall.

Eric ignored the look of disapproval Four gave him when he pulled up Nina's file and wanted to delete the paragraph about her pregnancy completely.

"You're only going to make this worse, just fucking tell her already."

"She wants to have kid."

Four's look didn't change though, "Did you expect that this subject would never come up? If you delete that paragraph and she'll somehow find out about what you've done you'll lose her."

Eric leaned back against his chair, staring at the paragraph "I don't want her to get pregnant again."

He shouldn't have said that out loud because he could tell Four who seemed reluctant to talk about their personal life during an update meeting now seemed very interested in this subject.

"Are you blaming her accident on the pregnancy?"

"If she wasn't pregnant she wouldn't have lost focus that day. That's a fact."

"Eric, she could have fallen out of that train even if she wasn't pregnant-"

"No, she was unwell because of the pregnancy, that's the reason why she fell out of the train. If she was healthy she wouldn't have slipped and almost died. Nothing you will say will change the fact that all of this did happen because of it."

"Now you won't even acknowledge the pregnancy?" Four narrowed his eyes on Eric, "Wait…Are you blaming this on your unborn child?"

"I won't change my opinion about this. The pregnancy was what caused her to-"

"I can't believe you're actually saying this right now." Four leaned forward, "It's sick on so many levels. What would you have done if she didn't miscarry? Still blame the kid for what happened to Nina?"

He could have lied and said no, but he knew how dark he could be. There were a lot of people in his life he started to let in and open up to. The old him wouldn't be sitting in his office, talking about his personal life with Four, but look at him now. Nina was the most important person in his life and she came before everyone. So he knew he would be able to blame it for everything Nina had to go through just because the pregnancy had made her sick. He wasn't supposed to become a father when he could easily hate it.

"Don't do it." Four grabbed Eric's tablet and closed Nina's file, "Don't mess up your relationship with a woman who actually really cares about you."

Eric let Four take the tablet, letting the words sink in Four just spilled without hesitation. The hurt had been evident in Nina's eyes when he panicked about her talking about having his kid, she couldn't hide that. Maybe Four was right and he should tell her what really happened the day of her accident and how he felt about it. Talking about his feelings was just not as simply as it sounded. She promised him they wouldn't have a break-up conversation again, but talking about the miscarriage made him fear for a conversation he wasn't prepared to have now or ever for that matter.