Themes: Plays
Written on November 19th
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Today's format will be done in that of a play. Anything in [this] is an action that the character is doing, and should be read as happening at the same time as the line is being read. The name of the character will be in bold and any mentions of actions in the background, or another character that is not the one speaking will be in (this). Any mention of cues such as a lighting change or curtains opening./closing will be written like {this} Got it? Good. Enjoy the show!
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[Mysterion sits on a bench, and The coon enters stage left.] {The traveler behind them is shut.}
The coon
I knew you would come Kenny. [The coon sits next to Mysterion and wraps an arm around his shoulder.]
Mysterion
Why did you call me here Coon? [Mysterion stands, turning his back to the coon, brushing off the coon's arm]
The coon
Well, well, well. Being formal aren't we poor boy? [The coon stands, and spins Mysterion around] (Mysterion glares at the coon)
Mysterion
[Backs up, gaining a bit of nervousness about his actions] You didn't answer my question.
The coon
[smirks and pulls Mysterion center-stage, and slaps Mysterion to the ground] That's why. [The coon exits stage right]
Mysterion
[glares at the coon as he exits, then turns to the audience] What a jerk. He's gotten me killed more times than I can count and now he does this? I'm done, I'm quitting on Cartman forever. [Mysterion exits stage left.]
{A crew member pulls the traveler open, while another takes off the bench. The traveler reveals south park. There are 4 houses, an orphanage, and the school. The lights brighten and you see Pip exit the orphanage}
Pip {Singing to the tune of Mountain town}
Off to school I shall go, Where I will learn everything that I know, Because the schools teach me what my parents didn't have time to say! [Pip travels down stage to sing to the audience as he walks towards the school](Damien enters stage right, heading towards the school, glaring.) {Damien has a red light on him until he runs into pip} And this lesson's gonna make my life complete, because English & Math are- (Damien runs into pip.) [Pip falls to the ground]
Damien
(Continuing the song) [Damien picks pip up off the ground, and pulls him in a hug]
You're super sweet.
{The music dissipates as Pip reacts}[Pip gets a bit of a panicked look on his face before smiling.]
Pip
Damien! I didn't know you were back in South Park! [Pip hugs Damien] (Damien hugs back, before letting go and just holding Pip's hand, actually smiling.)
Damien
Well, my father required me to return to earth for education, so I chose here! (Pip smiles, and begins to sing again, Damien joins him)
Pip and Damien
Thank God/Dad for this quiet, little, red-neck, po-dunk, white-trash, Mountain town!
[Damien says dad instead of god, due to him being the Antichrist]
(Damien and pip hug again, as they enter the school, while Stan and, Kenny, enter from Stan's house.)
Kenny
[Kenny smiles at Stan.] MHMMHMHMhmhamhamhammha (The two high-five and start heading towards Cartman's house.)
Stan
I'm glad you asked to sleep over last night Kenny! It was a blast. (Kenny nods, agreeing.)
Kenny
MhmhM {Kenny pulls on Stan's arm to get him to stop.]
Stan
[Looks at Kenny confused.] What's wrong Kenny. I thought we were going to walk with Eric today? You know, because Kyle's sick? [Stan uses air quotes around sick, to foreshadow]
Kenny [Shakes head]
Mn. MHMhmhamahmhnmh mh.
(Stan gasps in shock.)
Stan [Hugs Kenny.]
Cartman hit you?! Dude! Are you alright?!
(Kenny nods and drags Stan to school.)
{The lights dim. The crew comes on and turns the set to reveal a classroom. The lights brighten, and it looks a lot brighter than 'outside'} (Damien has Pip sitting on his lap, Eric is laughing at them. Butters is chatting with Tweek. The students of the fourth grade are all siting in their desks. Mr. Garrison is sitting on a desk, that is more stage left than the student's desks.)
Mr. Garrison [Stands]
Alright class. Today we have a student that will be rejoining us. He went to school with all of you a years ago. Damien Torn. (Damien waves to everyone.) Why don't you get Pip off you lap now Damien, and stand up here to tell us what you've been doing over the past few years. (Damien and Pip both stand, Pip sits back down, but Damien stays standing.)
Damien [Stands awkwardly for a minute before laughing evilly.]
Over the few human years that I have been away from your little world up here, I've been training as my position as the Antichrist and soon, when I turn 18, I will rule you all! [Laughs, and then sits in the desk next to Pip.]
(The class awkwardly laughs, and Mr. Garrison claps)
Mr. Garrison
Alright Damien, it looks like you have a career set out for you. As for the rest of you little losers you don't, we are all doing career research projects. (Wendy raises her hand) Yes Wendy?
Wendy
Mr. Garrison, Isn't that a bit unfair for Damien, he has such a big lead on us!
Mr. Garrison
Do you want me to assign partners?
Wendy
No thanks.
Mr. Garrison
That's what I thought.