DISCLAIMER: I read somewhere that there's this philosophy saying if you believe in something hard enough, it'll be made true, so for one whole day I did absolutely nothing but repeat the words, "I own Supernatural," to myself. And seeing as how the only thing I acquired from this endeavor was a sore throat, I realize whatever I read must've been marked under "Fiction"!

SPOILERS: Takes place between Hollywood Babylon and Folsom Prison Blues, so anything before then goes. It's not AU either, so again, remember the implication of that as you read!

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My Strongest Weakness

PREVIOUSLY: Dean Winchester didn't say a word, nor did he register the words being said. All he knew was the piercing sound of the wailing heart monitor…and what it meant. His baby brother's heart had stopped. For Dean, everything had stopped – save for his rapid descent to the floor as stark terror numbed his every sense… There was nothing without Sam.

Chapter 26

"Dean!"

Calloused hands shot out to grab the elder Winchester before he hit the hard tile below him and all Dean could think was that he would've actually preferred to fall all the way. Because it would've knocked him out so that he would no longer have to hear the sound of the heart monitor flat-lining; hell, it might've even mercifully killed him so that wouldn't have to live in a world without his baby brother…live in a world that wasn't really there because he had lost his only world…live in a world where he's not really living at all.

But he had been caught by Dusty and propped back up in the chair…he was still living. And at that point in time, nothing could've been more wrong, because he was still living…and his Sammy wasn't. His Sammy was… Dead. "No." Dead! "No!" DEAD! "NOOOOOO!!!" Dean sprang out of the seat and had burst through the triage doors before anyone could stop him, freezing mere inches in at the hell-sent sight in front of him…

Sam was pale and completely motionless, his six-foot-four frame practically dwarfed by the tubes and machinery that surrounded him, his face covered by an oxygen mask with a blue bag attached to the end – a ventilator – that was being squeezed by a medic as another medic did compressions.

But even worse than the image assaulting his eyes…were the words assaulting his ears.

"He's still in V-Fib!"

"Push a dose of Epi!"

"Charge the paddles to 250…CLEAR!"

Oh my God… Now Dean knew that the only thing worse than seeing Sam completely motionless was seeing his young – his too young – body arch under the jolts of a defibrillator. Because Sam being motionless still allowed Dean room for the delusion that his brother was just sleeping peacefully. But Sam being shocked back to life allowed no room whatsoever for delusions. Especially when the 'back to life' part of the deal wasn't even happening.

"Anything?"

"No response! C'mon, kid, hang on…"

"Charge to 360…CLEAR!"

"Still got nothing!"

"What's his down time?"

"Eight minutes!"

"Shit, we're gonna lose this kid! Push another high dose of Epi!"

"Charge to 450…CLEAR!"

Dean shut his eyes as tears leaked out of them. He couldn't bear to watch anymore. He only wished he could shut his ears as well.

"No change, still in V-Fib…"

"He's been down nine minutes…it's now or never…"

Oh no, nono… The medics weren't yelling anymore, their voices sounded almost…subdued…somber…defeated. And that could only mean… Nonono…

"Charge to 500…CLEAR!"

"Tell me you've got something…"

The male medic who had been monitoring their young patient's vitals only shook his head sadly. "Call it."

No…

"Time of death…"

NO.

"1:43 AM."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" The medics had barely had time to unhook the equipment from Sam before Dean threw himself on top of his younger brother's lifeless body, sobbing hysterically. "Sammy, oh God, Sammy, not you, not you, oh God, Sammy…don't do this, please don't leave me, oh God, Sammy, don't go…" Dean's profuse tears now soaked Sam's neck, his face buried against it, as the elder brother began to rock the younger's body like he had done so many times when Sam was a child. When Sam was alive… "God, Sammy, I can't…I couldn't…" He turned broken eyes on the medics. "I couldn't save him…"

The medics could only offer sympathetic gazes.

"You don't understand! I promised to save him! I promised…oh God, I promised, Sammy, I'm so sorry…so sorry…" He held his little brother as tightly as he could, knowing that it would be the last time he ever got to do so…the last time he would ever get to be a big brother.

There were already too many 'last times' that had passed…and he had taken them for granted. The last time he had laughed with Sam…the last time he had been treated to Sam's dimpled grin…the last time he had heard Sam's gentle voice, felt his comforting touch and the warmth and life that coursed through his brother's body…the last time he had caved under the power of Sam's puppy-dog eyes. Oh God… The last time he had told Sam he loved him. He couldn't even remember when that was, because it seemed like it had been so long ago…and he'd taken it for granted. "Oh God, Sammy, I love you, I love you, little brother, more than anything in the world, okay? You knew that though, right? You knew, you had to, just wake up and tell me you knew…you can wake up, Sammy, I know you can. I've got ya, kiddo, I'm here, I'm here, Sammy…just please wake up…"

"Please wake up…"

"Wake up…"

"Wake up…"

"Dean! WAKE UP!"

"SAMMY!!!" Dean shot bolt upright in the hospital bed he lay in, nearly knocking the older man who had been shaking his shoulders off his feet. Eyes wide and terrified, he rapidly scanned the room. What he saw confused him…what he didn't see threatened to destroy him. "SAMMY!"

"Dean! DEAN, snap out of it!" Dusty shouted with a few more shakes of the younger hunter. "Come on, LOOK AT ME!"

Dean squinted his eyes; the weathered face of his friend was finally coming into his vision. "Dusty?"

"Yeah…God, son, ya shore know how to almost give an old man a heart attack!"

Heart…Sammy's heart…it had stopped…oh God. I'm not a big brother anymore… "Wh-where's Sammy?" Dusty briefly averted his gaze. "Oh God, where is he, Dusty, why isn't he here?" He turned tearful eyes on the older man. "They…they took him, didn't they?"

"Yeah…but hey, s'gonna be okay…you'll see him again sooner than ya know it."

The tears spilled, and he wasn't about to care who saw them. "It'll be okay? OKAY?! How the hell can you stand here and say that?! I thought you understood what my brother meant to me…I thought you understood that he was EVERYTHING to me! My strength, remember? My strength, my reason, my…oh God." Dusty looked stricken as Dean began to sob. "Oh God…Sammy, nothing without you…oh God…God…GOD!"

The grizzled man stepped back as Dean punched the mattress over and over again as his tears continued to fall. What the hell is wrong with him…? "Dean…? What the hell's with all this past tense garbage you're throwin' 'round. Don't ya get that—"

"Move aside, sir, we have the other patient coming in!" a female nurse interrupted as she and a few other nurses disappeared behind the curtain to the right of the bed that Dean lay in. Dusty assumed that it was to prepare for the new arrival…and not a moment too soon. Dean, still trembling with emotion, was only confused.

Who the hell…? As if answering him, a small fleet of staff entered the room, surrounding a gurney that was being rolled in backwards. One of the nurses in front moved aside for a moment, revealing a brief glimpse of chestnut-brown to Dean. He would later wonder why his own heart monitor hadn't flat-lined…he was sure his heart had stopped. Oh my God… He knew that mop of hair anywhere. Oh my God… He had shattered because he thought he would never see it again. Oh my God… Yet, there it was. There he was. There…was his Sammy.

"Oh my God…Sammy…" Dean had swung his legs off the bed in an instant, and it took nearly every person from the staff to hold him down in it for his own safety. "Let me go! I have to see him!"

"Sir! You need to lie back down and let your brother be situated! And don't forget…you're a patient here yourself, now."

Dean recognized the same take-no-crap nurse that he had met while Sam was in triage, but begged for her mercy nonetheless. "Please…I need to see him."

"Very well," the nurse conceded, hiding a smile of respect and admiration behind a sigh. That stubborn thing sure does love his kid brother… It was why she had chosen to be a nurse all those years ago…for people like the young man in front of her, who truly treasured the life she was working to save. And for people like the younger man on the other side of the curtain, who was obviously a good enough person to have earned that love and without a doubt deserved to be saved. True, she worked to save every life regardless…but it was the lives like that of the Sam Gaines boy that really made it all worthwhile.

Dean's breath stilled as the nurse pulled the curtain back to reveal his brother…his very much alive brother. There was no more unbroken trilling from the heart monitor, just a consistent, steady 'beep…beep…beep' sound. There was no more blue tinge to his brother's lips; though still a little paler than usual, they were once again a flesh tone. There were no more electricity-induced jolts of his body, no more ventilators; his brother was lying still – the peaceful kind of still – and his chest was rising and falling on its own. It had only been a nightmare. Sam Winchester was alive…and now Dean Winchester could live again, too.

"Mr. Gaines?"

After a few seconds more of staring at Sam, Dean finally turned his head to see a thirty-something doctor with blue eyes and light brown wavy hair that was styled similar to Sam's standing in front of him. He wore a pleasant expression as he approached Dean with his hand outstretched. "Great to see you awake, Mr. Gaines. My name's Kyle Thomas, I'm the doctor who operated on your brother Sam."

"Oh. Hey, Doc, call me 'Dean'." As Dean reached out his hand to accept the greeting, he realized for the first time that both of his hands were bandaged. What the…shit…forgot all about those burns…

Doctor Thomas improvised and shook the confused patient's wrist instead."I'm afraid this is the only handshake you can muster right now, Dean. The pads of your hands were burned pretty badly, but luckily we've got a great burn unit here," he said with a warm smile.

Dean looked up at him apprehensively, completely ignoring any facet of his own injury as what the doctor had said rang in his ear. "You…you said you had to operate on my brother?"

Doctor Thomas nodded sympathetically. "I'm afraid so, Dean."

"How…how did I not know that?"

"Well, from what I was told, you took a nasty fall from the chairs outside of triage…you've been out for quite a few hours."

Dean's eyes widened. "I…I actually fell?" The doctor nodded; Dean swallowed. "So…that means Sam…did Sam's…did Sam's heart stop?"

"Yes, Dean." Doctor Thomas said softly. "For about five minutes. But as you can see, we were able to get it started back up…and from then on, there were no more complications, I'm happy to report. Your brother came through surgery just fine."

Dead…for five minutes…Sammy was dead…dead… But he wasn't anymore. He's alive, Sammy's alive…came through surgery just fine… Dean naturally decided to concentrate on that latter fact. "So…he's gonna be okay?"

"Yes…I'm expecting him to make a full recovery. He's one hell of a fighter, you know."

"Sure is," Dean beamed proudly.

Dusty finally spoke up. "So what happened to 'im in that operatin' room, doc?"

"Well, as I'm sure you were already aware, Sam had lost a lot of blood through the wound on his side, which also caused some internal bleeding. The very bottom of his left lung had been punctured, but thankfully the damage wasn't too extensive and we were able to go in and repair it relatively problem-free…strangely enough, the tree branch made a rather clean incision and left no splinters behind among other small miracles. But make no mistake, your brother is a very lucky young man, Dean. If you and Mr. Bennett hadn't gotten him here when you did, I fear the situation would've been much grimmer," Doctor Thomas finished.

Oh God…if Odessa would've stabbed him any higher… Dean banished the thoughts from his mind. There was no reason to dwell on what could have been or what almost was, and every reason to dwell on the here and now instead. The last of the humanoid familiars were dead, he was alive, and, most important of all, his baby brother was alive. "It's all okay now…" Dean reminded himself aloud, not even aware he'd done so.

"Yes, Dean," Doctor Thomas confirmed. "Now of course Sam will need to stay with us a little while for recovery, and you aren't quite ready to be out of here yourself. But, barring any setbacks, which I believe will be unlikely, you both should be out of here within the week."

Dean beamed brightly up at the physician. "Thanks, Doc. For everything you did…for saving him."

Doctor Thomas smiled. "Well, you're welcome, but I've gotta say, I just wielded the surgical tools…seems to me that you and Mr. Bennett here saved your brother's life, while your brother himself made sure those efforts weren't in vain." He elaborated when confusion passed across Dean's face. "You see, Dean, it's the flip of a coin in the touch-and-go cases, which is what Sam was, there at first… One side finds them fighting, the other finds them giving up. And, like I told you, your brother is a fighter. You saved him, and he kept himself saved. He obviously feels that he's got something to live for."

Dean glanced over toward Sam's bed, even though the nurses helping to situate his brother hid him from view. "Yeah, he does, and he better not ever forget that."

The doctor chuckled. "Well, with an older brother like you, I'm sure he won't!" Noticing that Dean hadn't yet taken his eyes off of Sam, he decided to throw out the first question this time. "Dean? Something on your mind concerning Sam?"

Ha. When isn't there… Dean smirked lightly at the thought. "Actually, I was just wonderin' why he hasn't woken up yet…that's normal, right?"

"Of course it is, it's an inevitable side effect of the post-surgery drugs we gave him," Doctor Thomas answered. "But, according to my watch, the drugs should be wearing off pretty soon and Sam will be back to the waking world. Give him…about twenty minutes or so."

"Sounds good, Doc." The nurses finally moved away from Sam's bed and Dean couldn't help but smile again upon the sight of his little brother, still with him in the world. He watched as Doctor Thomas made sure that everything was satisfactory with Sam and thanked the physician again when he confirmed that it was, nodding at the man's parting instruction to press the nurse's call button if either he or Sam needed anything. Upon the doctor's departure, Dean mistakenly thought he and his brother were the only ones in the room and jumped when Dusty suddenly cleared his throat…much to the older man's amusement.

"Now how 'bout that…didn't take ya as the jumpy sort, there, son," the old hunter chortled. "The things ya learn about a guy…"

"Hey, you just be glad that I didn't have a loaded weapon in my hands," Dean fired back with a smile.

"Believe me, I am!" Dusty stood up from the chair he'd been seated in as the doctor had talked to Dean and cringed as his knees creaked loudly. He shot a look to the younger hunter, whose grin was steadily widening. "Boy, don't ya even think about sayin' ya got some WD-40 in your car or some such wisecrack." It was his turn to smile as he saw Dean's face fall in shock. "Yep, s'what I thought ya were thinkin'…age brings wisdom, son, age brings wisdom…" he said with two taps to his head.

Dean's grin returned. "See, that's what I keep tryin' to tell Sammy-boy over there…I'm older, therefore, I'm smarter."

"Well…then again, there're always some exceptions to the rule, ya know," the elder hunter winked.

"Hey!"

Dusty laughed at Dean's less-than-expert comeback and then walked quietly over to Sam's bed, getting a good look at the boy – minus the blood and darkness of night though plus one nasal canula – for the first time. He couldn't help but flash back to Gordon Walker's words that the young man was evil, and felt a new wave of contempt and incredulity toward the jailed hunter for ever being able to conjure up such atrocious beliefs. The kid he was staring down at practically exuded innocence and gentleness, and the overwhelming need to help him make it out of the ordeal alive – something that Dusty had felt ever since the boy's abduction – was finally able to turn to relief now that said mission had been accomplished. "Lookin' forward to meetin' ya, kid," Dusty whispered with a light pat to Sam's arm and then crossed back over to Dean's side of the room. "Gonna scope this joint for some java n' grub…much as I know anythin' from a hospital is taste bud torture, but starvers cain't be choosers."

"I hear that loud and clear," Dean said with an emphatic nod. He could sense his own appetite growing rapidly, but for once decided to ignore his stomach…he had something more important that he needed to do. So when Dusty asked if he wanted something to eat as well, Dean politely declined.

"Alright, then…be back in a few."

As soon as Dusty's steps had faded down the hallway, Dean sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, landing less than gracefully on the floor – but at least still on his feet – without the use of his hands to brace himself. Trying not to make too much noise, he then crossed to Sam's side of the divide and awkwardly dragged the chair waiting there over to the side of Sam's bed, taking a seat in it once he had it acceptably positioned. Instinctively, he reached for his younger brother's hand, but was reminded once again of his own injuries. "Damn bandages…" Dean muttered softly. "Lookin' like I've got cotton swabs for arms over here, ya know that, Sammy? Bet you'll get a big kick out of it when you wake up…might even have to tell ya to stick with 'midget man' over 'Captain Q-Tip'," he smiled. "Then again, that might make for a pretty interesting superhero…though I'd hate to see his arch nemesis, ya know? Ew."

Dean sighed, knowing he was delaying what he really wanted to say…what he needed to say. Suck it up, Winchester…you'd already blown your chance in your dream…don't blow it for real. He took a deep breath, staring down at Sam's lax face and brushing one of his bandaged hands against Sam's folded ones. Just do it already… "Uh…listen…Sammy…" Dean began, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I, um…well, you know me…I don't do the mushy stuff too well, but…I just need you to know, even though I think you already do, that I…I…" Say it, macho man… "I…I love you, Sammy…okay? You're my pain-in-the-ass overgrown geek-boy little brother, and I love ya, kiddo…always." And so is fulfilled my chick-flick quota for the entire year, at least…

The lump returned to Dean's throat when he unexpectedly felt Sam's long fingers curl gently around his wrist, and rather than being mortified that his younger brother had likely heard every word he'd said, Dean was glad of it…and strangely relieved by it. After all, truer words had never been spoken... His smile widened and a suspicious warmth settled in behind his eyes as the fingers gave his wrist a squeeze. He knew exactly what Sam's gesture was saying.

Love you, too, big bro.

And minutes later, the vestiges of darkness that had remained behind for Dean met their end under the brilliant light that was his Sammy, scattering away as the youngest Winchester opened his eyes and fixed his warm gaze on his older brother, also gracing him with that dimpled smile he had been longing to see. In that moment, any walls that Dean Winchester still had up effortlessly crumbled, while simultaneously, his strength was at last fully restored.

"Hey," Sam breathed out in a whisper.

"Hey, kiddo," Dean returned softly, his voice breaking. "I'm here…I'm here, Sammy."

TBC…

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A/N: YAAAAY!!! LOL, oh my, I'm "yay-ing" my own story, but who cares! It just excites me, LOL. See, you can all feel better now – Sammy's okay again! And since Sammy's okay again, Dean can be okay again, and since Sam and Dean are okay again, EVERYONE'S okay again! LOL. Thanks so much as usual to all you readers and reviewers, your comments continue to make me grin ear to ear, LOL. And LLS, I can't thank you enough for all the beta work you've done; you're made of awesome! LOL, to use one of our favorite phrases… Well, this story is starting to draw to a close (sniffles loudly) but there are still a few more chapters to go, so don't start mourning yet! LOL. Next update, as always, coming soon. :-)