I have something to share with you guys. As I was lying in bed a few nights ago, my thoughts strayed to this fic. It was then that I had an epiphany: If I've brought in Napoleon Dynamite, and I have a few more twists up my sleeve, what's to stop other writers (yes, they're out there, but they won't be major characters) from making this fic a free-for-all crossover fest? In light of this revelation, I have opened a poll on my profile, asking you which characters you'd most like to see make an appearance. I believe I limited it to four choices, but one of them is "Other, PM me with details" so if you'd rather see someone else not mentioned, PM me and let me know! In the meantime, enjoy the rest of this fic.

"Dude! This is Gryffindor?"

"This is Gryffindor."

Alex ran through the portrait hole and into the common room. He laughed at the comfortable-looking armchairs and thick rugs on the floor, then turned back to Harry and Ron. "This is totally awesome!"

Harry smiled, sinking into an armchair. "It is pretty cool, isn't it?"

"Totally! I sorta thought I'd get put in Hufflepuff--'cause I have ADD, you know, and Hufflepuff just seemed like a more ADD House--"

"You have ADD? Me too!" Alex turned and high-fived a small, brown-haired boy about his age.

"What's your name again? Sorry, not good with names."

"Colin Creevey. And you're....Alex?"

"Alex Payne. Hey, how many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?"

"I dunno."

Alex paused for a minute, as if in thought, then broke into a grin. "Hey, wanna go ride bikes?"

Colin laughed. Harry and Ron traded looks. Later, in the sixth-year boys' dorm, they discussed it.

"Colin's okay and all," Ron said, "but he's kind of....I don't know...."

"Annoying?"

"Yeah. And now there's another one?"

Harry shrugged, setting his glasses on his nightstand. "At least he's got a friend now."

Ron nodded, then dropped the subject as the other boys came in. But the subject was not so easily dropped.

"So what do you think of the new transfer student?" Neville asked.

Harry and Ron traded glances again, then said in unison, "He's cool."

Jacob headed back to the Leaky Cauldron after seeing Liesel off at the train station, then lay there on his bed for a while. His baby sister, headed off to magical boarding school a year before Voldemort's reign of terror. It almost made him teary, thinking about it. She was all grown up, a witch who could change the course of wizarding history.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there, but he knew he had dozed off when a kick against his door startled him awake. Had he dreamed it? He bolted upright, nerves taut, listening for something to convince him one way or the other. A muffled thud was all the motivation he needed to get up and head to the door. He opened it and peered out into the hallway.

"Hello?"

A muffled voice this time--a woman's. Terrified. Jacob hurried out, locked his door and listened. A man's voice came from the room adjacent to his. In the name of fairness, he tried the knob and found it locked. He raised his wand, realized whoever was in there hadn't used a conventional lock and knocked instead.

"Who's that?" The voice was clear this time, low and menacing.

"I-I don't know, I swear!"

"Who's in there?" Jacob asked again.

"Who is it?" the voice demanded again.

"Pr-probably just a house-elf."

"House-elves aren't German, you dimwit!" He heard a rustle of fabric. "Who did you hire? Who's watching?"

"No one! I told you, no one's watching!"

Jacob had already set to work on the lock. He didn't know which charms had been used to freeze the knob in place, but figured no spell could stand up to a well-placed kick. On his third try, the locking pin bent. On his fourth, the door crashed open. He struck a deceptively relaxed pose, taking in the scene. A tall, dark-haired man held a woman by the collar, lifting her off the floor. The scene had frozen when he crashed in; neither moved.

"What is going on here? My room is too loud. Can't get any sleep."

"This doesn't concern you," the man growled.

Jacob stepped forward. "I am afraid it does. It is my sleep you are disturbing."

"Put up a charm."

He chuckled, still moving forward. "I tried, but you are so loud, I couldn't seem to concentrate. Perhaps we could work out an agreement?"

Before the man could answer, Jacob dropped to one knee and spun his other leg around, knocking him off his feet. The woman fell to the floor and scrambled away. Jacob lunged forward and pinned the man's arms to his back, holding him down with one knee. He tossed the woman his wand.

"Knock him out, now!"

She did.

Jacob stood back, looking from the man to the woman. "Death Eater?"

She nodded, biting a finger. Jacob could tell she was holding back tears.

"Put him in the Full-Body Bind, then help me get him in the closet. What's your name?"

"Lucille....Lucille Montgomery."

Jacob nodded. "All right, Lucille. Help me with him, and then we'll go out and get a drink, eh?"