Sleepless After Seth left I sleep for only about an hour. I woke up when the bed felt cold. I know that Seth has been gone the entire time but the bed felt warm to me at first because he put me there. It is something that I have grown used to when Seth has patrol. It's something I have dealt with since the first time Seth stayed at mine and Jared's house. That was the night that Paul and Jared covered patrol for us when there were two packs. It took time but I have learned that if I force myself to go back to sleep in makes the time between now and when I get to see Seth go by faster. It helps to lessen my separation anxiety. Tonight though something is unsettling to me and I can't fall back asleep. I have rolled over trying to get comfortable what feels like a hundred times in the last two hours. Finally I got up and pulled a pair of Seth's sweat pants over my pajama shorts. I quietly walked though the house. No one was there though, which kind of surprised me. None of the pack was in the house. Usually when Jake and Renesmee come to visit they stay with us but this time they aren't here. My thought was that maybe this time they decided not to stay since Carlisle was also here. I continued to wander though the house to the kitchen. Making sure that the house was completely empty along the way. Finding that I was I decided that this is what is making my uncomfortable tonight. Our house is almost always never this empty. I rarely ever spend time completely alone since I became a wolf. I'm used to the company of my brothers and sisters. I love how we are so close to each other all the time. Getting myself a glass of water and I then stood in front of the window that overlooks the path to the woods. The trail goes from the back yard through the woods about a mile and a half where it then meets the normal patrol path. We don't always run the same path though. If we did someone would be sure to know that we were out here because the ground would be too worn. I stood in front of the window until it was about two in the morning. Okay so I didn't stand there constantly. I tried several times to return to bed and sleep but I always found myself back at the window. Once again I rolled over in the bed not being able to sleep. This time when I got up I found one of Seth's sweatshirts. I pulled it on even though it isn't overly cold since its summer. I also put on my tennis shoes and tied the laces. Sticking my phone in the pocket of the hooded sweatshirt I headed to the door. I knew this would probably get me in trouble with Seth but I couldn't help it. I have to go. Outside the moon is almost full so the area is well lit. I walked down the front steps and around the house to the path that leads to the woods. I walked slowly making sure that I didn't fall over any loose twigs or exposed tree roots. I have fallen over them before even when I was phasing. I used to know where every little pebble or twig was in the path but it has been so long since I have traveled the path. Continuing on I reached the point where if I turned to the left I could reach Jared and Sam's houses. The right would lead to Paul's house, the beach and the cliffs. Straight would lead me to the spot where Seth's patrol rout would cross behind the house. No matter which way Seth ran he always crosses by the house every so often to check on me. I continued to head straight. What I want is to find Seth. About five minutes later I saw a flash of fur run across my path about 50 yards ahead of me. It wasn't Seth but I knew who it was. "Beau" I heard him take out a small sapling tree as he changed directions to come back to me without slowing down. Once he reached me he started licking my hands. "Stop that you big goof." He then started running circles around me. When I turned to face him to tell him to stop he did before I said anything. I was facing back toward the house then I did. He turned one more time and placed his head against my back. He gently pushed his head against my back leading back toward the house. "But I want to find Seth. That's why I am out here." He just let out a soft whine at me. "Please" All I got in response was another nudge against my back. "Alright, Alright I'll go back to the house. Wait I thought Spencer was supposed to be on patrol with Seth." Beau whined at me again. "Oh no I missed the shift change didn't I?" His head bobbed up and down. "Shit, Seth is really going to kill me." "Don't look at me like that it will be me not you." I moved so I was by his shoulders and he bent down some. I climbed but on his back knowing that he wanted to get me home quickly before Seth could get angry with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cuddled into his fur. He headed to my house but careful not to make me fall. When we reached the yard Seth was standing on the back deck with his hands on his hips. He looked a little like a girl the way he was standing but I can also tell that he is angry. I tried to hide myself in Beau's fur but it really didn't work that well. Beau laid completely down on the ground so that I could down. I did and slowly walked over to Seth. "Ayasha" "Please let me talk first. I know you are angry and that it scared you when you came home and I wasn't here. I just didn't like being alone and I couldn't sleep. I was coming to find you." "You know you have to be careful and shouldn't be out in the woods." "I know but I know the woods almost as much as I know you. It used to not matter how much time I spent out there." "You are fragile now. I don't want anything to happen to you." I took a deep breath and then did something I have never done before. I turned and walked away from Seth back towards the woods. I have never gone against Seth like this before I have always fallowed his judgment. He is my imprint and know that everything he does he does it to protect and care for me. It didn't hurt but I knew it was wrong but I had to do it. I headed down the path into the woods. Following the path I turned in the direction of the beach. The farther I walked the less it seemed to matter if Seth was fallowing me or not. Granted the distance took much longer to cover than it used to I went all the way to the cliffs. I looked back a few times and didn't see Seth fallowing me but that didn't mean he wasn't there. It was almost dawn when I reached the spot on the cliffs where we had our first date. Like the woods this spot was another place that Seth has kept me from going since I haven't phased. I sat down on the large flat rocks. I heard Seth come up behind me but I didn't turn to look at him. I could feel the tears building in my own eyes that I knew were already falling from his. I have learned over the years that only an imprint can make a wolf cry. And it happens when they feel as though they are hurting their imprint. I can't say that Seth is hurting me just that he is holding me back. "Ayasha" "What Seth?" "May I sit with you?" "Always" He sat down about two feet from me. I still hadn't turned to look at him I just continued to look out over the cliff at the ocean. I felt his warmth blanket me as he slowly moved closer and closer to me. Finally he pulled me into his lap and rested his head on my shoulder just as the sun was starting to show its range of colors. "It's beautiful." "Yes, it is fur ball." "I'm sorry, I've been trapping you haven't I?" "mhmm" "I promise I will try to lessen up. I just don't want anything to happen to you." "Seth we have the world's largest family of shape shifting wolves. I think I will always be protected. Trust me as soon as Beau seen me in the woods earlier he brought me home." "You're telling me Beau is responsible?" "He ran in circles around me so I couldn't go any farther into the woods." "Really?" "Yes" "So how much sleep did you get last night?" "Only about an hour" "Come on lets go get some rest." "No I want to stay here." "Why's that?" "Well, I know that I don't have fur for the sun to warm but I miss laying out in the summer sun with you all day." "Do you want me to phase?" "No, I just want you to hold me." I finally turned to face him. A smile played across his lips.